Session 4,
Person-Centred Dementia Care Plan,
Therapeutic Lie.
Hi,
And welcome to Session 4.
Thank you for being here.
It takes courage to learn new ways to support someone living with dementia.
Today,
We'll explore the concept of a therapeutic lie,
A tool that,
When used with kindness and respect,
Can gently reduce distress and provide comfort.
I struggled with the idea at first when caring for my late mum,
But over time I saw how,
When used sparingly and with good intent,
It helped ease her confusion and kept her safe.
Dementia affects many parts of the brain,
Especially as the disease progresses.
Behaviour or mood changes often reflect the illness,
Not the person you remember.
Knowing this can help us respond with more compassion and less distress.
One common experience is time-shifting,
Where the person believes they're in an earlier time in life.
They may ask for their parents or worry about jobs or children long grown.
These moments can be confronting,
But they're also opportunities to meet them with calm and care.
So,
Before we begin,
Let's just take a moment of stillness.
Find a quiet place to sit or stand.
Take a few slow breaths.
Let each exhale be longer than your inhale.
If there's an animal nearby,
Notice their peaceful presence.
If not,
Think of a pet from your past or birds outside your window.
My dog Winnie,
Who lived for almost 16 years,
Reminded me daily just to be present.
Animals have no agenda,
They just love.
You're safe in this moment.
If you have shelter,
Food and warmth,
You have what you need.
Think of one thing you're grateful for right now,
Perhaps a bed to sleep in or simply the chance to spend time with someone you love.
These moments,
Even when hard,
Are precious.
Caring for someone with dementia is deeply meaningful work.
Using therapeutic lies with care.
If your loved one has time-shifted,
Gently going along with their reality can reduce stress.
Example,
If they ask about parents who've passed,
You might say,
They're safe and doing well.
If they're distressed,
You might say,
Yes,
I'll take you to them in the morning.
They send their love.
Correcting their thinking errors may feel like kindness,
But often causes repeated grief.
Letting them feel safe and reassured is more important than strict honesty.
It's more compassionate.
Use this approach only when the truth would cause unnecessary pain.
Keep the intent focused on comfort,
Not control.
For example,
If they want to go to work,
You might say,
Oh,
It's a holiday.
Everyone has the day off.
We get to spend it together.
If they're worried about children,
Mrs Robinson is picking them up today.
They're safe.
I'll let you know when they're home.
Use gentle distraction.
If they're upset,
A small shift in environment or activity can help.
Try,
Let's have a cup of tea.
Or,
Would you help me fold this laundry?
Even stepping out briefly and returning with a calming suggestion can help reset the moment.
Validate their feelings.
Even if the words don't make sense,
The emotions are real.
You might try,
Oh,
That sounds so scary.
Or,
I can see you're upset.
Let's sit together.
I'll hold your hand.
Maybe,
I'm so sorry you're frightened.
Watch for non-verbal cues.
Unmet needs,
Pain,
Hunger,
Boredom,
Often appear through changes in behaviour or body language.
Facial expressions like grimacing,
Frowning or blank stares may signal discomfort,
Distress or even pain.
So,
Respond gently.
Look beyond the behaviour to the feeling behind it.
Offer comfort first.
Tools like memory boxes,
Music,
Photos or sensory activities can help create calm.
There's an unmet need.
Try and meet the need.
And remember,
You're doing your best and so is the person in your care.
Thank you so much for being here and I'll see you in the next session.
