What Is Your Capacity

Today's the day,

Thanks for showing up.

I'm Allison Shuhazi,

A super fan of energy work and engaging the intuition.

My career has spanned many genres,

Bringing me to become an intuitive coach and Reiki master.

I continue to collect a bundle of pivotal moments,

Whispers of wisdom,

And funny stories that have helped keep me real along this journey.

I hope that this podcast will ignite a spark within you to connect with your intuition and your whispers of wisdom.

So get ready because it's time to shift today with me,

Allison.

Hello,

Hello and welcome to my new episode.

What is your capacity?

All right,

We're just diving in.

That's how I roll.

Well,

The other night I was writing and I thought,

And a thought popped into my head.

We're all capable of caring,

But everyone has a different capacity.

Well,

My latest project that I'm working on,

I'm creating a series it's called Think Well,

At least that's what I'm writing right now.

The title might change.

Anyway,

One of the pieces I've been exploring is the meaning of capacity and how our abilities are ever changing,

Ever changing.

So what is your capacity?

Has it changed?

Have you noticed or thought that you're capable of so much more,

Or maybe you have no clue what I'm talking about,

Or perhaps you're somewhere in between?

Well,

Today I guess you might,

Maybe you'll figure it out.

Well,

We just recently heard that we're officially finishing the school year online.

And honestly,

I am so thankful that at least we have a decision.

The uncertainty just drives me crazy because with all the global uncertainty,

My quote unquote waiting trigger has been heightened.

I cannot stand to wait.

Who else cannot stand to wait?

Like that has become a thing.

Waiting is annoying to me.

It's a huge annoyance.

And I don't think it's just me that is annoyed by that.

Anyway,

I still am meditating daily.

I still do my journaling.

I'm eating healthier.

I'm walking two plus miles each day,

Which I have not been able to do for so long.

And I'm back to doing that.

And it's been amazing.

And quite honestly,

My family's doing it with me.

So it's been good for all of us.

But everything about life has changed.

And so the waiting for the next directive has been my annoyance.

Like I don't like the waiting.

I like the doing.

Anyway.

All right,

Let's get let's just jump in.

So don't get me wrong.

We have in our house,

Like most of you.

Our schedules have all changed,

Right?

And if you have children,

You're having to do school at home,

And you're trying to figure it all out.

And it's not that easy.

And we're at our house feeling more grateful for our teachers than ever.

Not that we weren't before because we were.

But now trying to teach two different grade levels.

And some of you are teaching two,

Three,

Four,

Five different grade levels with all the different kids you have going on in different grade levels and elementary,

You have to obviously be more participating more.

But not only with establishing a new schedule,

It's it's been difficult.

I know for me,

I haven't felt like I've been 100% engaged in it because in my mind,

I'm like,

Oh my god,

I've got to get.

I'm working on this new program.

I'm trying to work on my book.

I'm got to get my podcast on this one's late.

I'm trying to help my husband with some stuff he's got going on.

I want to make some masks for my family because I know my parents haven't been able to find masks and I thought,

Gosh,

Well,

We probably need them and then my mother in law needs one and I want to get one to write and page and it's just like,

Oh,

Gosh,

What is going on?

And,

Oh,

Yeah,

And then I got to work on this yearbook because even if school doesn't finish,

I still want kids to get a yearbook this year.

And how am I going to get that done?

And,

You know,

On and on and on and on and on.

Well,

I feel like my roles throughout the day change.

How many different hats do you feel like you wear throughout the day?

Me,

I feel like I have an entire store that I go in and out of all day long,

Pulling a different hat,

Changing the hat,

Changing the narrative all day long.

And with all of that said,

On the flip side to that,

There's a huge part of me,

I am so grateful.

I'm so thankful and grateful for the abundance that we do have that we can share with people and that we have set up our life this way.

I'm feeling very grateful for the boat we have built and choices we have made.

So I'm I also yes,

Overwhelmed,

But yes,

Extremely grateful.

And one of the quotes I just was recently moving stuff around on my website.

And I saw this quote that I put on my website,

Which I haven't read in a while.

And I thought,

Oh,

That's a really great quote.

So I'm going to share that with you.

Many years ago,

I was in the best shape of my life.

But today,

I'm in the best place in my life.

So let's get back to this capacity thing,

It really has to do with capacity.

So the definition of capacity is the ability or power to do,

Experience or understand something.

So if you think of these words,

Scope,

Readiness,

Talent,

Strength,

These are all words associated with capacity.

And have you ever thought or asked yourself,

What is my capacity?

What is my capacity?

Well,

Here's a little backstory.

We might all have some of these stories.

But I used to have this thing where I thrived on my calendar,

Like my calendar was my thing.

I mean,

Or was really like a day planner.

Remember those day planners,

We'd get the new leaflets that you put in your binder every year and it would change.

It was awesome.

And that was right before the Palm Pilot anyway,

Totally dating myself.

Well,

I remember a few times where I mean,

It was with me all the time.

It was it was in my purse.

It was in my my briefcase.

I had my day planner with me if I went out to lunch,

If I went to a meeting,

Anywhere I went,

My day planner was with me.

At least I tried to keep it with me.

And there was a few times where I left it at home.

And I might have gotten to the office and I was completely lost.

Like what what am I going to do?

So I had to wing it.

And typically those winging it days were probably one of the better days that I had,

Right?

Because I wasn't stuck on the schedule that I absolutely felt like I needed to do.

Well,

I remember I used to have to check my calendar before I could make commitments.

It was almost as if I was having a relationship with my schedule.

Do you ever feel that way?

Like you might have to have a relationship you got to check in with Mike,

I can't answer anything.

I got to check with my relationship over here with my calendar.

I can do anything.

I remember those days.

Oh my god.

I live like that for years.

Anyway,

I started thinking was I really that busy?

Like,

Did I really have the capacity to be that busy all the time that I couldn't remember what was coming next?

Yeah,

I did.

And I live that way.

Well,

But I also remember that this was a time in my life when my capacity was very different than it is now.

Number one,

I was much younger.

Plus,

I had different circumstances that caused me to want to be too busy,

Because I was in a loveless marriage.

And I didn't want to go home because then I would have to face what I needed to face.

Well,

I remember a time when my days were so full of making decisions for everyone around me that the only way I could get out of my head was to end my day with a glass of wine,

Or maybe two or three.

Or have you had those days?

Well,

Here I am 20 years later,

And my dog is growling in the background.

Sorry about that.

We're all home together.

And I'm in a fantastic marriage.

We have amazing kids.

We live in a beautiful place where I'm very thankful,

Again,

That we live here,

Because we are able to get outside and take walks and go for hikes and be away from people.

But we're also set up in a situation where I can live my dream and talk to you and share some wisdom and then I can continue learning from you and from my clients,

Which is just amazing.

I mean,

Life is crazy how much it can change in such a short amount of time.

Well,

Here we are,

I'm going to date this here,

And it's April 2020.

And life has changed yet again.

Not just for me,

But worldwide.

Our choices are limited,

Our boundaries are being set for us.

And at some times I am feeling like I'm slipping backwards,

Because I want to end my day with a glass of wine or two,

Which isn't always bad,

But not really the direction I want to go.

Well,

Some moments are overwhelming,

Because I need to keep a calendar now,

Not just for me,

But for three extra people,

I need to know where everyone's going and doing because I'm pretty much the one who's gonna have to make it happen.

I also feel like does any of you feel this way like,

Oh my god,

I'm narrating my entire day.

I don't want to talk to anybody by the end of the day,

I'm done.

Like I just cannot keep talking.

I feel like I'm literally narrating every single day.

Like I have to think for people.

Granted,

Our kids are smaller,

And they're younger,

And they're very capable.

But there's still a lot of narrating that goes on.

And we're going on a month now people.

So I'm pretty tired.

Although I'm not really I'm not complaining.

I'm just stating.

That's what I'm doing.

The other day I found myself Okay,

Just breathe,

Pause,

Breathe.

I'm telling myself to breathe,

Just take a few breaths.

It really did kind of help.

But I was also very annoyed with myself for telling myself I had to breathe.

Anyway,

It worked.

Then what do I do?

Of course,

I pause pauses.

Like my number one thing I pause,

Then I usually breathe.

I don't breathe in and pause anyway.

And I start writing.

And I started writing about capacity again,

What is my capacity?

I looked in the mirror,

What is my capacity?

Well,

Mine,

It's it's ever changing.

It's not stable,

Especially right now.

And it's different for every person,

Every person.

And capacity is the state of being at any given moment.

Because it can change very quickly,

As quickly as the hats that I'm changing throughout my day.

Well,

I have been staying plugged in on occasion,

Not 24 seven.

I don't touch news every single day.

I don't touch social media every single day.

But I am watching the news.

I am staying in touch over social media,

And I'm definitely reconnecting more on phone calls,

And with FaceTime.

And I'm also meeting we're meeting new neighbors in our neighborhood.

Remember that episode I did on neighbors?

I mean,

How ironic that I just did that before all this went down.

Anyway,

It's been amazing to meet some new people in our neighborhood.

And one thing I've noticed is that some people are being pushed to the limit.

But what is their limit,

Right?

Here we have the folks on the front line.

I know we're all hearing about them and watching them,

The health care workers,

The police officers,

The firefighters,

The first responders,

The military and so on.

But yet they are still showing up and managing to get dressed every day and go back to the front line to continue to make a difference for so many,

Which quite honestly is for all of us.

They are making this difference for all of us.

And their capacity truly amazes me.

And then we have some folks who can't seem to get out of bed.

They're literally frozen within their whole iceberg,

Maybe an iceberg of anxiety.

But they're the only ones who have that magic or the capacity to melt it away.

It's up to them to melt that anxiety where get the help that they need.

And yet there's others who cannot stop complaining.

Everything is still everyone else's fault.

And why is so and so doing this and saying that yet,

If you really paused and listened to those people who are complaining and step back,

They're the ones who are struggling with their own acknowledgement and their own forgiveness.

And they still haven't reached up high enough to access that box of strength to connect to a whole new level of capacity that they have within them.

And then there's some of us that drive people crazy,

Who are the ones who can see the glimmer of hope in each day.

And this is I'm just saying this for myself,

I can understand,

I do truly believe that goodness is going to prevail.

I know that spring has sprung and I take a walk just so I can hear the birds.

And I acknowledge the newness blooming around me.

I'm hopeful also that this pandemic will bring a global change.

I'm truly,

Truly hopeful.

A change in how we talk to one another,

How we lead,

How we follow,

And how we live.

I believe we all have an endless bag of capacity.

Similar,

Here you go,

Ready for it?

Similar to Mary Poppins and her wonderful magical carpet bag.

You remember that?

I love that bag.

We have an infinite bank of knowledge that we haven't tapped into and discovered.

We have an endless bucket of love that we're holding on to so tightly because we're afraid it won't be reciprocated.

Well I'm going to end this podcast with a little poem that I recently wrote when I was writing about capacity.

Here it is.

Some days I can focus and achieve.

Some days I can hardly believe.

Some days it's one step at a time.

Some days my eyes are blind.

Some days your smile shines so brightly.

Some days my eyes are shut tightly.

Some days are some days.

And other days I begin a shift.

Well just for today,

Try this.

Ask yourself,

What is my capacity?

And remember there's no right or wrong answer because capacity is a state of being and can change at any given moment.

Well thank you for joining me today.

I really appreciate that.

And if you need a little intuition tune up or a moment to boost your capacity,

Give me a shout.

Feel free to drop me a line.

I mean I'll email you or DM you back.

If you like this episode,

I would love it if you'd share it with a friend or family member and even leave me a review.

That would be amazing.

Thank you in advance.

And until next time,

Shift today into a greater tomorrow.