The **** It Theory With Sophia Lorena

But I feel like the universe drops you like little confirmations when you're going through moments like that,

When you're going through moments where you get the negative review or you have something not go the way you planned.

I feel like you really have to look out for those moments of the universe telling you to continue.

Welcome to the And The Net Appeared podcast.

I'm your host,

Chelsea Benzel,

Intuitive mentor for thought leaders,

Coaches,

And content creators.

In this podcast,

You'll hear from badass women who have taken big leaps of faith in the net up here.

Enjoy.

Hello,

I am here with Sophia Lorena,

The host of the shit show of my 20s podcast,

Which I'm just in love with.

Thank you for being here,

Sophia.

Yeah,

Thank you so much for inviting me.

I love your podcast.

I love the idea behind it.

And I had so much fun interviewing you.

So I'm glad that we can reverse the rules today.

Yeah,

Doing a little bit of a podcast swap.

So yeah,

Let's talk about the whole premise behind your podcast.

And I know there's such a story that led you to where you're at now and absolutely killing it with putting this podcast together and putting it out there in the world.

But you'll probably be able to give it a better intro than I will.

But how I see it is like really cool stories of people who have done cool things in their 20s.

And the fact that you are 20,

Like just the fact that you're doing this,

That you're interviewing these people like for yourself,

That is such a cool thing that I wish I had access to insight from people who had lived through the years that were to come for me.

And then sharing it with the world is just so awesome.

So tell us a little bit about how that idea came to be and your journey with starting the podcast.

Yeah,

So I've always been obsessed with podcasts.

I've been listening to the school greatness for listening to always in this house.

But there's a lot of blocks and blocks around my voice.

Who wants to listen to this.

So I had a lot of blocks come up that I had to get over.

And then I got furloughed from my job for 10 weeks.

And during those 10 weeks,

I knew I could either start a project and start doing one of the things I was going to say I was going to do.

Or I can just do nothing during those 10 weeks and regret it afterwards.

I had all the free time and I didn't do anything.

So I decided,

You know what,

I'm just going to start a podcast.

And I started going through different hashtags and Facebook groups.

And I was able to find all these incredible people.

So far,

I've interviewed 90 people since April.

And it's been incredible to interview so many people.

I've interviewed a singer,

Real estate investor,

A therapist,

A heartbreak coach,

Like so many different people.

And it's just so cool to hear their stories and just hear like the similarities and the theme.

So I'm really excited.

I just decided to kind of like just shelf the limiting beliefs that I had around starting a podcast and just say,

You know what,

I'm just going to start it and see what happens.

Yeah,

I love that.

Because with anything,

Any leap in whatever capacity it's going to be,

We have to put that stuff on the back burner or not even the back burner.

Like ideally,

We just throw it in the trash altogether.

But it's totally normal to have those fears and to have all the anxieties and all the what ifs and all that.

I'm not good enough.

But to see that you're just doing it,

Like you acknowledge,

Okay,

Yeah,

That stuff's there,

But just going to put it on a shelf and do this.

So when you say that there have been themes and there's been similarities,

What would you say is a common thread in the people that you talk to?

Yeah,

So there's a lot of stories of inside of our intuition,

We kind of know what we should be doing,

But then we hear we should be doing something else.

So we do the something else,

And then we have a wake up call moment from the universe,

Like you really should be doing this.

And it kind of takes that wake up call moment for that to actually happen.

Or I've heard so many stories of being in the wrong relationship,

Knowing it's the wrong relationship,

But it was comfortable.

So you kind of like stay in that relationship,

Because that's what you know.

So there's been so many stories.

There's this girl,

She called off her engagement after having the entire wedding plans,

Everything ready to go,

And stay in the sky for five years.

And she just realized that they were two different people,

And that they wanted two entirely different things.

And then later,

She ended up meeting her husband who lived a couple of blocks down from her.

And it's just so many stories of just kind of letting go of what you think you should be doing,

Or what you think is appropriate,

Or what you think so and so wants you to do,

And kind of just tuning in to what do I really want,

And what do I really want to create?

We're all about that here.

That sounds like the whole premise of this podcast is,

It's like,

Going against what you've been told traditionally you should do,

Or even that you've believed for so long you should do,

In favor of,

Okay,

But what do I actually want?

What am I being guided towards?

What is my intuition telling me?

And following through on that.

And like,

The synchronicities that occur,

The miracles that unfold,

When we do say yes to that,

When we do,

You know,

There's so many examples.

There's the relationship pieces,

Often a story around like a job that didn't work out,

And then you find the perfect,

Like,

Aligned career path,

Or whatever,

Or whatever it might be.

I know just from talking to you,

Like,

One piece of that for you sounds like you were on a very clear path to go to college,

To do the like,

What was expected of you story,

You know,

To play that whole thing out.

What did that look like for you?

Because I know ultimately you didn't go to college.

So what was that whole experience of like,

Going against what your family expected of you?

Yeah,

Well,

I feel like to answer that question,

I have to really go to like,

My catalyst moment,

My personal development journey,

And where that all started.

In freshman year of high school,

I was dating this guy,

We were dating for a year,

I was totally like,

Head over heels for him,

Thought like,

This is going to be the guy,

This is going to be like,

Forever.

And I was just like,

Totally into this relationship,

I started to kind of lose myself in this relationship.

I started to make this relationship like my everything and started to lose the things that made me happy and just go all in that.

And that's kind of one of my tendencies is to go all in in something and then kind of forget,

Like the other areas of my life and forget like the other things I need to pay attention to.

And so I was going to this confirmation group,

I was with the church group,

And we're going to a youth day summit in Anaheim,

And we're all on the bus together.

I told him I'm not going to be here tomorrow.

I didn't tell him why,

Because he wasn't involved in the same church,

He didn't really have the same beliefs around that.

So I figured I shouldn't tell him about that.

So I get on this bus,

It was like 730 in the morning,

I'm sitting next to my friend,

We're talking about something and then I look down at my phone and I see a text from him that says,

Sophia,

I just can't do this anymore.

I just don't love you anymore.

And when I saw that text,

It was kind of like,

Oh my gosh.

And then what I just got stuck on for the longest time was the last sentence,

I just don't love you anymore.

And it was just kind of like,

I accepted this identity of being unlovable just because of that text.

And I started to go into like the spiral of like,

Am I unlovable?

Is anyone ever going to love me again?

And I started to totally accept that identity.

And I just totally did all these unhealthy behaviors to accept and match that identity.

So I was kind of going through that.

And then I was struggling with overeating,

Emotional eating,

I went down that path.

And then I started to have this realization,

I can't continue this.

It was like in the span of three months,

I ended up gaining about 30 pounds.

It was just like a downward spiral for me.

I was like,

This isn't healthy.

If I continue this,

Like within a year or two years,

I'm going to probably put on like 100 pounds or something crazy.

And so I was like,

I can't do this anymore.

This isn't healthy anymore.

It doesn't feel good to be going down this path.

And I started to Google how to get over a breakup and how to get over your ex.

And then I went through all these articles,

There was like all these articles,

And they all said something about personal development.

They all said something about podcasts.

And I was like,

Okay,

This keeps on coming up over and over again.

There's probably something there.

If it keeps on coming up over and over again,

I usually start to pay attention to it,

But usually has to show up a couple times before I actually pay attention to it.

And so I started to see that and I was like,

Okay,

There might be something to this whole like journaling,

Personal development thing.

There might be something to it.

And so then I started to get into podcasts and I started to go into personal development events and all those sort of things.

And that's really what started everything for me.

And then I found Gary V,

I found Lewis Howes,

And I started to kind of think differently.

And I started to see like all these different stories and realized,

Okay,

You don't necessarily have to traditionally go down the path that you think you have to go down.

You can go down all these different paths,

And they can still lead you to something great.

So I really had to go through that breakup and go through that personal development journey for myself to realize that there's so many other options out there.

And that if college is not in alignment with you,

That's okay.

But I really had to go through that and see all these examples of that in order for me to feel like it's okay for me not to want this thing that other people want for me.

Because it was a lot of different going against that.

Like,

Is it okay that I don't want this thing?

Is it okay that I don't want this thing?

I want something different.

Is there something wrong with that?

Is there something like,

I don't know.

So I had to really go down like seeing all these people and seeing that it's okay to have a different college.

And this is why I feel like I'm getting called towards something else.

I feel like I really want to learn in person.

I feel like learning for a book,

It just really is there for me.

What an experience,

What a roller coaster I can imagine.

And it's such a good reminder that sometimes the darkest,

Most difficult times we go through can be such a catalyst for something quite incredible when it comes to our growth and the things that we learn and we take away from it.

I'm sure at the time,

If someone had told you that it would have been like,

Yeah,

The last thing you want to hear,

But then look at where it's led you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was talking to a friend about the other day.

I just wrote an article about it too.

Like I've been like just sharing it more.

And I was like talking to my friend,

I was like,

What if that didn't happen?

What if certain things don't happen,

Then what did create that result?

If that didn't happen,

If I'm still with that guy,

I probably would have gone to college.

I probably would have gotten to personal development later in life.

I probably would have had a totally different result.

Yeah.

I think life is a series of a bunch of little decisions that we make like continuously.

And it is like,

Yeah,

Very likely you would have ended up down a different path with a different experience.

And,

You know,

We can get super metaphysical and look at the theory that all of those realities exist simultaneously,

Like that you that did go to college and had a completely different life is on this one timeline.

And here we are on a different one.

And I don't know,

Just that always fascinates me that,

That that's even a theory and that that's something that we can kind of wrap our heads around maybe a little bit.

But here you are where it led you.

And like,

It's almost an obligation to maybe obligation is a bit of a strong word,

But it's an opportunity to make the most out of it,

Like to live to the fullest.

You said something in the little form that I had you fill out prior to being on about tomorrow's not guaranteed.

So why not live to the fullest today,

Make the most of where you're at with what's going on with whatever challenges you face and,

And craft that into a beautiful life.

And I see you doing that.

And I'm very inspired by you.

Thank you.

Yeah,

I've just had a lot of interesting moments this year,

Like this year has been a growing,

Like a growing year in itself.

Like it's been like a lot of unexpected things.

I got into like a car accident back in December,

And it was insane.

And then I got furloughed in March.

It's just been a lot of growing opportunities this year.

And that made me really realize that.

But I think,

Yeah,

But I'm at the same time,

I'm really glad that I got both of those opportunities within the last year.

Because like getting in a car accident really makes you realize what things are important,

And what things aren't important.

And like how fast things can change.

And it was just like crazy.

Like,

I feel like someone was watching over me during the accident,

Because it could have ended up so much worse.

But that was definitely a wake up moment for me.

Like the universe kind of like,

You only have one life,

What do you want to do with it?

You don't have tomorrow always promised,

What can you do today that you enjoy?

Mm hmm.

Yeah,

What a year 2020 has been like,

That's very specific to your life.

But I can relate to that too.

Like I think of it as answering the call.

For me,

The call was like,

I've just been kind of half asleep and going through the motions,

Not really paying attention to that nudge to step back up in my business and like,

Create something for me.

And you know,

And then this podcast later came,

And that's a whole story that I could get into.

But it is,

It's like when we have those moments where life is like,

Okay,

Are you going to do the thing?

Are you going to pay attention?

Are you going to change your perspective?

And stop living the way you've been living?

It's such a gift.

In the moment,

Sometimes it feels like a really shitty experience to have to live through.

But when you can look at it in hindsight,

As like,

Almost,

Thank goodness that happened,

Because it woke me up.

It shook me up.

And that was the call that I needed to answer to now create the life that I'm living today.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

So you had that car accident this year.

And then it was like,

Let's do something with the life that we're we've got today.

And the fact that you've interviewed 90 people since April is like,

We talked about this a bit before we hit record was like,

A leap doesn't always look like,

You know,

The traditional,

You do the thing that goes against what you should do,

Or you leave the relationship,

Or you leave the job,

Or you move across the country or the world or whatever.

Sometimes the leap is just like,

Being a badass and carving your own path and doing the things that other people won't.

And saying yes to what you want is ultimately what it comes down to is like saying yes to the intuition,

Answering the call,

Doing the thing you know you need to do.

And to see you doing that,

And to be doing it publicly,

Too,

I feel is just,

You'll never know the impact that that will have to the full extent,

People who stumble upon your podcast,

People who see you online,

Who are listening to this episode.

And it's just to me really,

Really quite incredible when we can look at things from that big picture,

Like kind of zoom out and see the impact and see that,

Yeah,

I took that leap for me.

But when you look at how many lives are going to be affected by that,

How many people are going to be inspired to maybe answer that call for themselves,

Or to do the thing that they know they need to be doing,

Because they see you doing it.

And it's like a ripple effect that we create when we all we each start to step up and do the thing,

Say yes to the thing and live it out.

Yeah,

I actually got a message on LinkedIn the other day,

I was getting pretty active on there.

There was this guy,

Somehow he stumbled upon my LinkedIn page.

And he's always been wanting to start a podcast too.

And it's been like two years,

He said he was going to start it,

He never started it.

Started listening to my episodes somehow,

Following my podcast.

And then he sent me a link,

He's like,

Oh,

I just started my podcast.

Here's the link.

I really want to thank you because I listened to your episode.

And I was like,

You know what,

I'm just going to do it.

And it was so cute to get that message from him.

And just having people.

.

.

The cool thing about Instagram and all these social media platforms is you never know who's going to stumble upon your page.

That's my favorite thing.

Because I've had so many cool people stumble upon it and just message me about it or laugh at the title or just say,

I listened to this episode and this part really resonated with me.

And it's just so cool to see.

Yeah.

And those are the people that reach out.

When you think of it statistically,

The number of people that you're actually ever going to hear from is just a fraction.

And I think that's really helpful for if you're an entrepreneur,

You're selling stuff,

Or you're launching a course and you're getting maybe some engagement,

But you just never know the people who are lurking in the shadows.

That sounds a bit like,

Ooh,

Who might be seeing my stuff?

I don't know if I want them to,

But at the same time,

If we split that into the positive,

It's that there's people who are seeing your stuff that are inspired that you're changing their lives that maybe one day will reach out and say,

Hey,

I've been following you for years.

So I think it's a testament to just keep going,

Even when you don't feel like you're getting the engagement or it's not as,

Quote unquote,

Successful as you think it should be or whatever.

It's just like,

We never really know the impact.

But I think the biggest thing is just trusting in that guidance,

Like trusting in that knowledge and your intuition to do the thing in the first place.

If it feels like,

Yes,

If it feels like something you know you have to do,

Then just do it and trust that it's going to be for the greater good for you,

For your life,

And for the people who you impact.

Yeah.

Well,

I recently got a one-star review on iTunes.

Tell us about that.

And the thing about getting a one-star review is it really makes you question things.

Should I be doing two episodes a week?

Should I maybe stop this?

Are people not liking it?

Getting that one-star review,

I'm in,

No story behind it.

It's just that.

And then that same day,

I see that in the morning and then I'm going to do an interview in 30 minutes.

So you kind of hold that in your head for 30 minutes and you're like,

Oh no,

I have this interview.

I don't really want to take this energy with me to the interview.

So I was doing this interview with this girl and I was like,

Okay,

I'm just going to forget about that one-star review for the next hour and a half and just pretend it doesn't exist and just do this interview.

And I was doing this interview with her and it was so crazy because she had a similar story to mine,

But she is a basketball player on Team Canada.

And while she was telling her story to me,

And then she was asking about my story,

I was like,

Basically your story,

But just remove the jersey.

And that's what my story would be.

And she was like,

You're really good at asking questions.

I really loved doing this with you.

And she just gave me this confirmation that I definitely needed that day because I was just so shooken up by that review.

But I feel like the universe drops you little confirmations when you're going through moments like that,

When you're going through moments where you get the negative review or you have something not go the way you planned.

I feel like you really have to look out for those moments of the universe telling you to continue.

To be open to them,

Because I think we can let that stuff grow and fester and become this big thing that it's all we can think about.

And then we're not even open to see those confirmations,

Those little messages from the universe that are like,

Hey,

You're actually on the right track.

And I always say,

If someone's not in the ring getting their ass kicked,

Doing the thing that you are doing to some level,

Who cares what they have to say?

There's always going to be someone,

Some armchair critic who has something negative to say,

Had a bad day,

And they take it out on you on the internet.

And it's like really looking at where we get our feedback from.

The weight of that feedback from someone who has a very similar story and is living a very similar life as you would carry a lot more weight than some anonymous person who decided to leave you a one star review.

It's like,

Okay,

Thanks,

That sucks.

But who are you really?

And does your opinion really carry any weight?

No.

Exactly.

But yeah,

In the moment it is.

It's like,

Oh my God,

You question everything.

Should I be doing this?

Am I good enough?

Am I doing this right?

Should I be doing this?

Am I good enough?

All those fears that you initially put on the shelf come back.

And as I'm saying that,

It's kind of like,

Okay,

Well then maybe that is an opportunity too to see like,

Okay,

That triggered me,

That affected me.

All these old fears are coming up.

And it's like,

Okay,

Thank you.

Because now I know that I actually haven't worked through those.

I've just maybe stuffed them down.

And that baseline fear of,

Am I good enough?

Can I really do that?

Whatever.

Still has a charge around it.

And I can still do a little bit more work on that.

So again,

It's crazy that you just brought up triggers.

Yeah.

Hey guys,

Chelsea here.

One of the things that comes up almost every episode is this concept of creating your net rather than sitting back and just hoping it appears.

Manifestation requires action.

That's why I'm super excited to announce my new one-on-one program,

Create Your Net Coaching.

If you want me in your corner as you create your net,

Let's talk.

Go to ChelseaBenzel.

Com slash create your net to learn more.

Yeah.

It's crazy that you just brought up triggers because I actually have a post that I did on LinkedIn that got 5,

700 views.

And all I did was write about triggers and I just happened to get triggered that day.

So I wrote about it.

And all these people commented on something that got triggered by and how they can relate to it.

And it was really funny because I wasn't expecting a lot of people to see that.

I have a really small page,

So I wasn't expecting a lot of people to engage with it,

But it ended up being the only piece of content I've done that had that high engagement rate.

And I was writing about this experience.

It's such a simple experience,

But triggers,

I feel like they can be so simple,

But it just happens and it just triggers you.

So I was ordering a pizza from Glaze Pizza and I ordered three pizzas and one of them did not get delivered to my house.

And the one that didn't get delivered to my house was mine.

And so it triggered the part of me that felt like it wasn't seen and it wasn't good enough and that I get easily forgotten.

So it triggered that part of me.

And it was so simple.

I just wrote about my experience with not getting the pizza and how it really had nothing to do with the pizza.

It had everything to do with the trigger that I was experiencing.

And it was funny because the CEO and founder of Glaze Pizza,

She found my post somehow.

I don't know how,

But somehow he found it.

And he comments on it.

He's like,

Oh my gosh,

I'm so sorry about your experience.

Send me a DM.

I'll send you some type of credit.

It was just crazy because I wasn't expecting anyone to see it.

I wasn't expecting him to see it.

And I was like,

Oh my gosh,

He saw my piece and all of my pizza.

But it was just so funny.

And I was so surprised about how many people could relate to it and were sharing their stories of recent experiences that they were going through.

Yeah.

It's cool.

I find that,

And I'm curious to hear if you can relate to this,

I find when I am just in the zone,

I'm clear,

There's no distractions,

Although it's not even just about distractions in the 3D.

It's just like,

I'm clear,

I'm focused.

I know there's something that I need to say,

It needs to come out of me,

I need to share and just write it out for me,

Really.

It's not,

Ooh,

What can I write that people are going to really like and engage with and it's going to go viral.

No,

I don't know if it ever is going to work that way because it's the energetics behind it.

And here you just had an experience,

You had the words to express it,

It needed to come out and it did and you put it out there.

And it's like,

Because it came from such a deep place in you,

It resonated.

Do you agree with what I'm saying?

Was that the experience for you?

Yeah,

It was definitely an experience for me because I haven't had any of my other writing pieces do that well and I wasn't intentionally trying to get that one to do well.

I didn't think it was going to do well at all.

I'm like,

No one's going to be able to relate to a piece of not showing up,

This is ridiculous.

But I was like,

I'll just share it anyways,

Because I know maybe one person can resonate with it.

Yeah,

Oh,

That's so awesome.

And it's such a good lesson and like,

Just not forcing things so much and trying to get things to go the way we want it and just like,

Kind of surrendering into,

I don't know,

Like,

What do I need in this moment?

In this moment,

I need to write about this freaking pizza not showing up and what it meant for me and how I brought up some stuff,

You know,

Just like flowing with it and kind of playing with it.

And that's why I think of it as art.

Like,

I think of my writing as my art,

Because it's just like,

I'm just like flowing through life.

I'm having these experiences and then I put it into words on the internet.

And it's just kind of like a fun,

Almost game that I get to play.

Tell us about your post on Elephant Journal too,

Because I know you just had one there that's doing quite well.

The whole breakup.

So I wrote about the breakup that led to my personal development journey.

And I just shared it like,

And the opening line was like,

Thank you for breaking up with me.

And I mean,

In the most non-sarcastic way possible.

It was just like,

It was just like,

Totally just me like talking about the experience and how it led me down the path of personal development and how really,

When a relationship is supposed to happen,

You shouldn't have to force it like that.

And it should just happen.

And that all the relationships that are not supposed to happen,

They're not going to happen.

And you just have to let it go and just grow from it.

And I was surprised that a lot of people ended up resonating with it and just sharing it.

But I feel like so many people resonate with like relationships and relationships not working out or having growing lessons from it.

Because like my most popular episode right now,

One of the most ones,

First one's the engagement story.

Second one's how to get over your ex.

And I interviewed a breakup coach.

And I'm guessing a lot of people just like took it and shared it with their friend who was going through a breakup.

I'm guessing that's how it did so well.

Is there like,

Hey,

You need to hear this right now or something.

But I find when they talk about relationships or stuff that like that,

It just tends to really resonate with people because it's something that they're like going through right now.

And they like share it with a friend who's going through it.

So yeah.

Because I feel like relationship challenges are universal.

I think that being especially in an intimate relationship,

It's one of our biggest opportunities for growth.

It's when that person is so close to us and they're that mirror for all of the stuff that comes up for us to work through.

And it's not always pleasant.

And then there's such high emotions involved.

So then when things don't work out,

There's just like so much.

And it's so,

It can be so consuming.

I get it.

I mean,

I really think I have said in the past,

I think business,

Having your own business and intimate relationships are the two fastest like the two vehicles to growth.

Both of those things in their own separate ways,

Require us to step up if we want them to work out,

Require us to look at our shit,

To heal what needs to be healed,

To grow,

And then to step into that like next level version of ourselves that we want to be for those things to play out and feel good and be successful how we want them to be.

I was just interviewing a relationship coach and she was talking about this and how we can't do the work for our partner.

We can't do the personal development work.

We can be there to support them,

But we can't do the work for them.

So you just talking about that,

Which just reminded me of what she was talking about with her current relationship and about like her past relationship,

She was dating someone who wasn't into personal development and how that was a big thing for her.

Yeah.

I think that too is universal.

Like we can't do the work for anyone else.

And what it comes down to is the work you do on yourself,

Because what you become inside is what you reflect outward.

And then that's what you see in the world.

It's what you experience,

The inner reflects the outer.

And I think often when we get into that,

It's kind of a trap like,

Oh,

I wish you were different.

I wish you would do this differently,

Or you were better at this or whatever.

It's so often because those people are a mirror for us.

It's like,

Am I really,

Like,

Is that true?

Or am I projecting some of my own stuff onto them?

So it's just like,

I think it's a good reminder that,

You know,

And that's in relationships of all types,

Intimate relationships,

Your relationship with your family,

Your parents,

Your siblings,

The strangers that you run into on a day to day basis,

Day to day basis,

You know,

Looking at it,

It's all,

It's all a mirror to what's happening inside you,

Your triggers,

Your the little things that irritate you,

Or you wish were different,

Or you wish they were better.

It's all a mirror to what's happening inside you.

So it's not like,

Oh,

You're different,

Or you wish they were better.

It's like,

Okay,

Use that,

Use that all as fuel to like,

Look back inward,

And look at what wants to be seen and accepted and loved and the work that maybe you can do on yourself.

And then probably that stuff won't affect you so much in the outer world.

Yeah,

There's so much that you've seen firsthand,

You know,

That was the catalyst for you.

Had that not happened,

You'd be living off on that other timeline that exists in some parallel reality.

But you're not,

You're here and you're doing amazing things.

And I think that's really awesome that you,

You know,

Just everything that you've taken from that,

And instead of turning yourself into a person,

And,

You know,

Continuing on in that downward spiral.

I mean,

I really don't think that we can stay in a downward spiral forever.

Ultimately,

Something's gonna happen to shake us up and to like,

Get us to wake up and start creating what we actually want.

But yeah,

How did you turn that into your biggest gift to dive into personal development to grow so much.

And now to be in a position where you're in a leadership role,

Like you have this podcast,

You're sharing these stories.

You're doing really cool stuff in the world.

So thank you for showing up and doing that and growing through it all.

Do you have any advice for anyone who's like,

I don't know,

I just feel to ask you that,

Like,

Do you have anything that you've learned that you've taken on your journey that you would want to share with my listeners?

I think,

Okay,

So I've come in,

I've come up with this theory lately.

It was kind of like,

Why I started this podcast is like,

Kind of like a theory,

Kind of like a thing I did before.

And so what I do is I think about like,

Okay,

Say I do this podcast ends up well,

Say I do this podcast ends up going this way.

So I list out like the pros and the cons and think about like,

Okay,

This happens or if this happens,

Either way,

I'm okay with it.

And then,

But actually,

Before the first interview,

I was shaking before the first interview.

Like I was,

I'm an introvert.

I'm not really an interview type.

And so I had a lot of beliefs come up around that.

Like if you're not an extrovert,

Can you still do a podcast?

Can you still talk to people and do video and all that stuff?

So I had a lot of that come up,

But I have a theory it's called,

I haven't actually talked about this before,

But it's called the fuck it theory.

So basically,

So I have a theory and it's called the fuck it theory.

So basically you just say,

Fuck it.

And then you do whatever it is you want to do.

So I was just like,

Okay,

I can accept if this goes well,

I can accept if it does goes poorly.

I'm just going to say,

Fuck it and just record the episode anyways.

So I just recorded that episode anyways.

I was like,

I just did it anyways.

And after having that interview,

I actually chose a pretty good person to interview first.

Cause like,

I was like super honest with her before I was like,

Listen,

Like this is my first podcast interview ever.

I'm sorry if it doesn't end up as good as the other ones.

Like I'm just going to try and do my best,

But this is like my first time ever.

So if I mess up or something,

I apologize in advance,

But this is just something I'm feeling called to do.

So I just wanted to let you know that before I started.

And she's like,

Oh no,

That's totally okay.

And she was like a coach.

So she,

She kind of like held the space for me and my limiting beliefs.

And she's like,

It's okay.

I've done tons of podcasts.

I can help you through it.

You're going to be fine.

So just like having that conversation with her beforehand definitely helped,

But just doing the interview and then realizing after the interview,

I like kind of built up this whole thing about how it was going to be.

And I built up like this whole thing about how hard it was going to be and how I wasn't ready for it.

Or I'm not in a place in my career yet where I can do a podcast and I'm not established or whatever.

And I did it.

And afterwards I was like,

Oh my gosh,

I'm gonna do this again.

I'm ready.

Let's do this again.

And then I interviewed like always different people that week.

And I would do like three to four interviews a day during those 10 weeks of being furloughed.

Like I was just going for as many interviews as I could possibly do and just going and doing that.

And during that 10 weeks,

I did about like 70 interviews,

Maybe 60,

70,

Somewhere around there.

And the thing,

The thing is,

I think I really needed just that space of being like furloughed and having nothing to do to kind of realize,

Just to sit in the stillness and kind of realize,

Okay,

I don't really like this feeling of having only one income source.

I don't really like this feeling of having something just like the rug pulled within me,

Like beneath me.

I don't like this.

It feels really uncomfortable.

And then just realizing,

Okay,

What are the things that I've been saying I'm gonna do,

But have really not been doing because of fear,

Because of limiting beliefs,

Because of whatever.

So I think if you can create that stillness in your life and just like create that stillness and just kind of sit with it and be okay with it,

And then start to look at all the creative projects and say,

Okay,

Maybe I can start doing this one today.

Maybe I can just start here and maybe just like breaking it down and not making it seem like this whole big thing.

And maybe even if like being on video,

You're not comfortable being on video,

You can just do videos of yourself and do like a minute and just keep on trying until you work yourself up to,

You can actually talk for like 30 minutes in front of a video and it doesn't matter.

So just doing little steps,

I think helped me.

And I work in a call center.

They mean,

It's listen to her voice and listen to her calls.

So that really helps me get over the whole thing of like my voice,

Like my voice is like the biggest concern for me.

I was like,

I don't want to listen to my voice over and over again.

Like that was like a definitely a big block for me.

So,

Yeah,

I am all about that.

Taking little steps,

Just say like,

You know,

I can acknowledge that I'm terrified.

Let's use being on video as the example.

I can acknowledge that that freaks me out,

But like,

What's something I can do now.

And right now,

One thing I'm bringing into a lot of the stuff that I'm creating around helping people step up,

Like I'm putting together right now a course called called and it's about answering that call.

And one of the things,

The core pieces is like,

Let it be messy.

Because sure,

I look back on my early stuff when I was just learning and I cringe and I can't stand like to think that that's how I showed up and whatever.

And it's so easy to go down that path of beating ourselves up for how things were or how we see now that they could have been better.

But at the same time,

I'm like,

Thank you,

Younger,

Previous self for just doing the thing and doing it imperfectly and just showing up and doing the best you could with what you had,

With what you knew and doing it.

Because had I not gone through that cringy,

Awkward phase where yeah,

I was terrified.

It's like,

How do I knock on through that I wouldn't have got to a place where I was more polished.

And I'm sure like,

Let's see,

Look back at this five years from now and be like,

Oh,

Girl,

You know what I mean?

We're always growing,

But you don't get to that place where one day everything's perfect,

And you're great.

And you're how you envision it going,

Unless you go through that phase where things are messy and imperfect,

And you're just doing it,

You're doing the best you can.

And maybe you want to cringe,

You want to go hide under a blanket.

But ultimately,

Like that is part of everyone's journey,

You go back and look at someone's early early stuff,

Like someone who's super famous.

Now you're you look up to,

You admire their stuff.

I'm sure if it's still available,

Which I think a lot of people do leave their old stuff up,

Probably for this reason,

Go back and watch their early stuff.

And you'll see it sucked compared to where they're at now.

But that was part of them getting to where they are now.

So I'm just so passionate about that.

Because otherwise,

We stay in that fear mind where all those excuses run the show.

And we don't do anything.

And then we never get there.

Taking those little steps,

Just do it.

Take a step doesn't have to be a big like,

You know,

That can be a leap in itself.

It doesn't have to be Oh,

I'm going to take a big leap and go leave my job and become this super successful coach or have an amazing podcast right out of the gate.

But there's always that little,

You know,

Initial just taking that first step forward is a leap in itself.

Yeah,

I'm so passionate about this.

I could talk for hours.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for being on.

Sophia,

It's been so good to just like,

Dive a little bit more into your story to get to know you and to see how you're such a good example of like,

Turning a really crappy experience,

Like thinking about the breakup,

Thinking about the car accident that you had earlier this year,

And turning it into something for your great-grandchildren.

So where can people listening find you online?

Yeah,

So my Instagram is a shit show of my 20s.

My podcast is pretty much everywhere.

It's on like Apple podcast,

Spotify,

Amazon Music,

IHeartRadio,

It's like all over.

So that's where you can connect with me.

Yeah,

I'm so glad to be here.

I'm so glad to be here.

Cool.

Yeah,

Shit show of my 20s.

I love it.

Oh,

Well,

Thank you again so much,

Sophia,

For being on and thank you to everyone listening.

We will.

.

.

I will catch you again on the next episode.

Thanks so much for listening.

If you enjoyed this episode,

Please subscribe to the podcast.

We'll be releasing a new episode each week,

So I'll catch you again on the next one.