Of Mice And Moments | Trust

Hi,

This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments,

A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.

My first year as a college professor was challenging.

I was teaching brand new classes at the university that were also new to me.

The topics I understood,

I felt like I grasped them well,

But the nuances of teaching the classes in the spaces I was allotted were puzzles each and every one.

That being said,

I got along okay,

At least for the first couple of weeks.

The students were responding,

I felt prepared.

It was going swimmingly until a hand shot up that third week of class.

I had been explaining a topic on the principles of acoustics when I got a tough question from a student who had been avidly listening throughout the course of the lecture.

The question pertained to the topic but added a new wrinkle relative to his own out of the box thinking.

Yet it was appropriately applicable to the subject of the day.

I chewed on an answer in my mind for a moment and responded with an answer I could tell did not truly satisfy him.

He paused thinking,

And then to my chagrin,

His follow up question stumped me even more.

So I did what any good insecure first year professor would do,

And tried my best to speak over his head.

Using the most elaborate details and technical jargon I could manage,

I skirted the answer eloquently but in the most unsatisfactory way.

After the student left that morning,

I ran to my books,

I scoured the internet to make sure that if that question came up again,

I'd have the perfect answer.

After all,

I was the professor.

I was the end all be all on the topic,

The expert hired to lead these supple minds to the truth.

Fortunately,

I thought that topic did not come up again the next class.

But as I got into another topic,

The same students hand went up in this time,

His question was even more farfetched and difficult than the last.

Realizing for this question,

I couldn't engage in the same verbal acrobatics to confuse or distract him.

I changed the subject.

I brushed aside his question and moved on to the next activity or part of the lesson,

Ultimately leaving him out to dry.

After that day's lesson,

Again,

I went scouring through my notes and information on the topic to make sure that if that question came up again,

I'd be ready.

I realized then I had not been preparing enough for this class.

I felt like I needed to make sure that I was so well prepared on the topics that no students question would stump me.

It didn't matter that I had years of professional experience or schooling on the topic.

I was lacking in preparation.

So I redoubled my efforts,

Causing my class preparation time to increase exponentially.

And when I walked into the very next class,

I felt fantastic.

I was ready with answers to the previous questions and felt more prepared than ever.

I knew that my time spent going over the subject matter would not be in vain.

And I can only imagine the smug look on my face when the same student asked the difficult question that I was ready to answer.

Thank God I had prepared preparation was key.

I waxed poetic with the answer,

Drawing it out a little longer than it needed to be.

But I wanted to assure the class of my intellect and adequacy.

And when I finished,

I could tell by the looks on their faces that they held me in high regard,

The expert,

The professional,

The person with the answers.

And in that small silence that followed my explanation,

The same student interjected a follow up question that caused my heart to race.

He got me again.

It was like he was ready for me at every turn.

What is going on?

I thought to myself,

How can this be?

I frantically searched my mind for an explanation that wasn't baloney for a solution to his problem that would be correct and set everyone on the right path.

And as I racked my brain and that 32nd interval,

I could not come up with a satisfactory answer.

I cannot come up with an appropriate and adequate solution to his problem.

And in that moment of desperation,

I uttered a few words that changed the course of my career and allowed me true freedom.

I said,

I don't know.

In that moment of apparent weakness,

Humiliation and utter honesty,

I gave that student what he needed.

He needed to know that he could trust my answers.

And as he shook his head and understanding,

A piece came over me and the room.

And I followed up by reassuring him that I would spend some time on the problem.

And I asked the class if we could together engage in finding the solution.

The contentment on that student's face was new.

And when he caught me after class to talk about the problem,

I again realized I had given he and the class what they had needed all along.

Quality,

Integrity,

Humility,

And respect.

They needed to know that what I said was true.

They didn't need me to come up with or conjure an answer if I didn't have one.

They needed to know that I respected them enough to give them the truth and offer correct answers if I had them.

That was the beginning of a journey,

A season in which I was comfortable learning alongside my students.

Using the experience I had,

I was in a place to set my students up for success in this learning process.

But in no way could I know all the things there is to know on every subject I was involved.

I had to be willing to put my ego aside.

I had to be willing to be wrong and honest with the way I approached these dilemmas.

And approaching future classes didn't mean I prepared less,

But it did mean I was willing to say,

I don't know,

Or I was wrong.

And those words set me free because through that humility,

I gained trust.

And that trust is the cornerstone of true learning and growth.

So how about you?

Are there instances when you need to say,

I don't know,

Or I was wrong?

Are there opportunities for you to put your ego aside and usher in a season of learning,

Growth,

And trust?

If you do,

You may just find the freedom you deserve.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.

God bless you.