Finding Happiness In Gratitude

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

We're listening to this Happiness Podcast because we want to be happier.

We want to find more joy and peace in our lives on a daily basis.

One beautiful way of developing this skill,

This experience of happiness in our lives,

Is to be thankful,

Is to be grateful for life and all the wonderful things that it brings us.

It sounds so easy,

So why don't we do it?

It's about how we see things.

Our ego,

Our inner voice,

Looks at the world around us and says,

Is this normal?

Is this something that I should have,

Ought to have,

Or is this a gift,

Something beautiful that I can be excited for?

And our egos tend to be very greedy.

Once they've tasted something,

Once they've had something,

They want more and they don't really care about the thing they have anymore.

They just want more.

The thing that created such joy at first is like,

No big deal anymore.

I want more.

I want to share two of my favorite book series that I really love to illustrate this point.

One is from Harry Potter.

Do you remember his cousin Dudley?

Well,

In the book,

One year,

They're celebrating Dudley's birthday and he's counting how many presents he's getting this year for his birthday.

And as he's counting,

He's realizing he's getting the same amount of presents that he got the previous year.

And even though they're wonderful,

Great presents,

He's so upset because he's not getting more than he got the previous year.

Now let's contrast that to one of my favorite book series,

Little House on the Prairie.

Well,

In this true story,

When Christmas comes,

Laura is living out on the prairie and she's not expecting anything for Christmas.

But when her parents give her some candy for Christmas,

She's so grateful and so thankful.

And if we've lived long enough,

I know we've all seen examples of this.

Some people can have so much and yet they don't seem grateful and others can be given so little and yet it can bring them to tears of gratitude.

And when it comes to gratitude,

It isn't obviously just about presents.

It's about all the things that life gives us.

And what we want to work towards is developing gratitude,

Whether we're given things in abundance or we're given things in scarcity,

That no matter what's happening,

We're able to find joy,

Peace,

And gratitude for what life has given us right now.

And this isn't about judging people who are ungrateful when they have so much.

It's about how do we keep our gratitude open and alive and fresh and new,

No matter what we have or what's going on in our lives.

That's the key.

Because in life,

There are people that have so much less than us and yet they're also so thankful for what they have.

How do we keep that thankfulness whether we're living in a mansion or we're sleeping on the street?

It is possible,

But it takes work.

It has to do about impermanence.

You see,

No matter what we have,

We know if we've lived long enough again that that can change.

Anything can be taken away from us.

Anything.

Obviously our health,

But even the material possessions that we own and people that we love,

It can all be taken away.

And we know people,

We know lots of people who had so much in their lives and now they have very little.

The stories like that are countless.

Just think about people that you knew that they used to have so much and now they have so little.

And that isn't to judge them.

It's to judge them.

That's to understand the nature of life.

Life is impermanent and given that it's impermanent,

We realize that everything that we have right now is a gift.

It's a beautiful gift that we can celebrate and we're so thankful for what is given us.

Because when we take things for granted,

When we think,

Oh I have this,

This is no big deal,

Then we stop being grateful.

But instead,

If we can cultivate the experience of life is a gift,

I don't own anything,

It is given to me today.

And realizing that,

Then we'll say,

I'm so thankful for this day and all that life has given me.

It's not taking things for granted and instead realizing that everything,

Our health,

Our loved ones,

Our possessions,

Our home,

Are a gift.

I mean could you imagine if we really did this what would happen?

Then instead of taking things for granted,

When we wake up in the morning we think,

I'm so thankful for the people that I have in my life,

For the loved ones that are with me right now,

For my health,

That I get to sleep in a warm bed,

That I get food presented to me,

And I'm not going hungry.

I'm so thankful for these things,

But once we take them for granted,

We stop being thankful.

So the key of life is realizing that life is a gift and any and everything that we have could be taken away just like that.

And this isn't to develop fear,

It's to develop appreciation for what we have,

To be thankful each day for whatever we have.

The good news is,

Like with Laura in Little House on the Prairie,

We don't need much to be grateful.

But like Dudley,

If we compare our present life to our past and count how many presents we're given right now,

No matter how many things we have,

We can be miserable.

I know it sounds crazy,

But it's true.

Just look at people that have more than we do.

There's lots of them out there.

And it doesn't take long to realize that they may not be very happy with all that they have.

So are we getting caught up into that?

Are we comparing ourselves to people above us and getting ungrateful for what we have?

It's so easy for the mind to just be grateful for what we have and getting ungrateful for what we have.

It's so easy for the mind to do that.

But once we realize that that's what the ego does,

It tricks us into thinking what we have is not enough and we want more and more and more.

It's just never enough.

Or even when we have everything that we think we have,

Then we get afraid about losing it.

Fear kicks in,

Which again takes away from gratitude.

I mean,

Even if you're a billionaire,

You're still going to get sick someday and die.

When we try to hang on to things that change,

We're going to suffer.

But when we realize life is change and we can embrace that change by being thankful for what we have right now and focusing on what we have,

Whether the little things we have or a lot that we have,

That that we can be grateful for.

And yes,

It may and probably will change,

But that's okay because life always gives us beautiful gifts that we can be grateful for.

Gratefulness comes from seeing things new,

Seeing things as a gift,

Not as something we possess.

Our home is a hotel.

We don't own it.

Our spouse,

Our children,

Our gifts that we have today,

Tomorrow they may not be there.

Our health is something that today may change and we're thankful for whatever health we are given.

Even if it's painful health,

We still can go watch the sunsets of life and connect with the people that we love.

There's just always something beautiful in any of our lives.

There is.

Our focus needs to go to that and be thankful to life for these beautiful things that life gives us.

When we cultivate and develop a state of gratitude,

Life then becomes so beautiful because life is beautiful as long as we don't take it for granted,

As long as we can see things new and realizing that whatever we have today may not be there tomorrow and that's okay and that's okay because then we realize how beautiful life is and we're so thankful for what life gives us today,

Whatever it is.

Most of us have probably gone through times of not having much.

I remember once when I was younger,

I had just gotten a new job and I had very little money but I had to wait two weeks to get paid so I went to the store with a little money that I had left and I bought pancake mix where you just added water and raw sugar and I had that for dinner for two weeks straight and then when I finally got paid I went out and bought all kinds of great food that I was excited about and when I went out that evening and came back all my food had been stolen so I had to go back to eating my pancakes for the next two weeks and it wasn't terrible,

It wasn't bad.

I made do.

I was thankful that I had food because I had had times where I didn't even have food.

So we can be grateful when we remember that life is a gift and if we see it that way,

Truly see it that way,

That whatever we have today may not be there tomorrow but we'll find this.

We're going to be so grateful for all the things that we do have and we're going to see them new.

We're not going to get used to them or compare them to the past.

The past is the past.

Today may change.

We're all probably,

When we get older,

Going to have health problems and we're not going to be able to do the things we used to do.

We may hit retirement and have to live on very little but that doesn't have to be bad.

It's just what we have to do and we focus on what we have.

That's really the key.

There's always something beautiful that life is giving us and when we focus on that and we're thankful for that,

Then we're grateful.

And maybe you haven't gone through hard times where you had to live on pancake mix for a month or the only present you got for Christmas was a piece of candy like lore and Little House on the Prairie.

But then what we can do is meet people out there that don't have much and get to know them,

Spend time with them,

Maybe help out on a holiday and feed the homeless,

Maybe go to a shelter and help out and get to know the beautiful people there and how even with little they can be happy.

Maybe going to places,

Other countries,

Where they can have so much less than we do and realize that they can be so happy with what they have because it's not about what we have or we don't have.

It's about being grateful for what we do have,

Whatever it is,

However little or much it is,

It doesn't really matter.

It's just being thankful for what we have,

Whatever that is,

And realizing that developing a state of gratitude creates happiness in our hearts.

But the key is to remember life is a gift.

Everything we're given is a gift.

Sometimes we're given a lot.

Sometimes we go through spells where we have very little and that's okay.

Focus on those little things and be thankful.

And when we have a lot,

Don't take them for granted because it can change.

Just be thankful for whatever life has given us right now and then we'll find that that happiness and peace in our hearts will be there to greet us and say,

Welcome home.

Thank you for joining me on the happiness podcast.

Until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.