Two Key Components Of The Good Life

Welcome to the Happiness Podcast.

I'm Dr.

Robert Puff.

Over the years,

I've been teaching a lot of different aspects of happiness and how to have a good life.

But every once in a while,

I think it's important to have reminders of what are the key aspects of having a good life and making our lives go well.

Because I think sometimes we get overwhelmed by having ideas and suggestions given to us.

And sometimes it can be really helpful just having a couple things that we can look at throughout the day to remind us of what we're focused on in order to have a life that goes well for us.

So today I want to talk about two key factors of living the good life.

Here they are.

One is having a childlike curiosity about life.

And the other is kindness.

Kindness towards others and ourselves.

So let's talk about each of these and see how they play a major role in finding happiness in our hearts.

When we're younger and we see things or experience things for the first time,

There's such a beautiful joy in these experiences.

If you have children or if you remember being a child,

Perhaps you can think of a time when this happened.

I remember the first time my son ever had ice cream.

When he tasted ice cream,

He didn't know what to think.

But after it touched his tongue and went into his mouth,

This huge smile came on his face.

And you could see such joy in him for the experience of that ice cream.

And I'm sure we all have memories like this.

The first time we see or taste or feel or experience something.

It truly takes our breath away.

I remember the first time seeing the Grand Canyon here in the United States.

It was truly breathtaking.

Or one time when I was visiting Barcelona,

Spain,

And I went into the Basilica of the Sacred Family or La Sagrada.

I had no idea what to expect when I walked in there.

But when I saw the lights shining against the floor and the opposite wall and the intricacies within the cathedral,

I was left speechless.

We all have experiences like this.

But really the key of life is to keep these experiences that we have alive and fresh.

Where we see things as much as possible with childlike eyes for the first time.

Because unfortunately what happens is once we see something,

We stop experiencing it,

Seeing it,

Feeling it.

And our world slowly becomes mundane.

We get bored.

We get tired.

But if we can see things,

All things as much as possible with new eyes,

Then what happens is the joys of life start multiplying.

So that instead of being bored with life,

We begin to see beauty and wonder in life throughout our day.

This can be challenging because once we see things,

Once we label things in so many ways,

We stop seeing them.

But if we can keep our eyes fresh and lose the egoic commentary going through our heads saying,

I've seen that.

Let's move on and say to say,

Look,

Really look,

See it in a new way.

See it without the commentary,

Without the mind labeling it and then dismissing it.

When we label things,

We stop seeing things so often.

So instead,

If we can keep that childlike curiosity about life and all that life throws us,

Then what happens is whatever life presents to us,

There's something beautiful to be with.

Whether it be a person,

Whether it be a book,

Whether it be an experience,

Whether it be nature,

Whether it be tasting the foods or going on a trip,

It's endless when we keep our hearts open and stop labeling things as,

I've seen that.

Time to move on.

When we see eyes like that of a child,

What will happen is the universe will become a beautiful playground in which we can explore until our dying breath.

Now I know this may seem challenging or hard to do,

But I think what can be helpful is learning from others that do it and see how they do it.

One of the best ways is through literature.

Let me name two that you might want to refer to.

One is called Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust.

It's one of the longest novels ever written,

And you can get it at your local bookstore,

Amazon,

And it's also an Audible book.

But the main premise of the book is he,

As an author,

Describes life in minute detail through the eyes of the main character and his wonderful ability to see things in detail and not let anything escape his eyes.

And if you're able to peruse this beautiful book,

You'll see a magnificent author describing the experience of life through the eyes of a very aware,

Present person.

The second one to perhaps take a look at is called The Pillow Book by Shae Shonagon.

She was a Japanese author and poet that during the 11th century was able to describe again life in minute detail and in that detail see life in ways that we often miss.

Because life is truly a beautiful adventure as long as we're able to see it with fresh eyes.

Once life starts beating us down,

Or we start getting numb because of stimulants,

Or addictions,

Or just the workload of life,

Then we stop seeing and experiencing things.

But if we can keep our hearts alive and fresh and new,

Then we'll find that life is this beautiful adventure all the way to our dying breath.

And the way we do this is not by being in the past,

By remembering things from the past and then not seeing in the present,

Or so focused on the future that we're not seeing what's before us right now,

But the way we do this is by living in the now,

Living in the present moment,

And seeing things,

Really seeing things for the first time.

I remember when I got on this journey many years ago and was encouraged to do what I'm encouraging you to do.

I would just,

When I went for walks,

When I was out,

I would look,

I would really look at things I had never looked at before,

Plants,

Animals,

People,

Things,

Stars,

Clouds.

And what I saw was there are so many beautiful things to experience,

And by seeing that with fresh new eyes,

I found that my heart became lighter and joy began filling my soul because there were so many beautiful,

Wonderful things that I began to see for the first time,

Even though I'd seen them many times before.

It requires work,

It requires effort,

Which is why I am including it in the two main aspects of having the good life.

But if we spend time cultivating this skill,

Developing this skill of seeing things with newness,

With childlike eyes,

Of experiencing life in many ways for the first time,

Because in many ways it is,

We don't know what the future holds.

And the past is gone.

All we have is now.

So if we see things in the now,

We will begin to experience life with joy,

With levity,

And with peace.

The second thing that I include in the essential aspects of having the good life is kindness.

Kindness towards others and kindness towards ourselves.

After working with thousands of people over the past decades,

The one thing I've learned in life is that people that are cruel towards themselves or others do not find much happiness in their hearts,

But those who seek to be kind,

Both towards themselves,

Because that's important,

And towards others,

That kindness creates a space in which life can flow.

And when life can flow,

Then we can see things new.

But when we kill our lives through cruelty,

Acts of meanness towards ourselves or others,

It requires us to shut down and stop seeing things,

To numb ourselves,

To often turn towards addictions,

Or things that quiet our hearts so we don't feel anymore,

Because it's so painful to feel.

But if we keep our hearts kind,

Both towards ourselves and others,

Then we don't have to numb ourselves towards life,

And we can keep our hearts open for all the beautiful things that are presented to us throughout our day,

Whether they be new,

Or we've seen them a hundred times,

We can still see them with new eyes,

Because our hearts remain open,

Because we're not living with hatred,

We're not living with self-boating.

Instead,

Our hearts are filled with love and kindness,

And that kindness towards ourselves when we mess up,

And kindness towards others,

Because we haven't walked in their shoes.

Between those two,

We find joy,

A joy in living,

Because we stop judging ourselves so harshly,

And judging others,

Really at all.

We can learn from our mistakes,

And we can set boundaries with other people that may hurt us,

But the judgment is gone.

Instead,

What we find is joy,

And love,

And forgiveness.

And with these in place,

Then the heart doesn't get afraid,

And the heart is able to look at life with the childlike eyes.

And with these eyes,

We can create the most beautiful life,

One day at a time,

In many ways one moment at a time.

And the most magnificent thing about this,

Though it is work,

And a lot of work that we have to be diligent about,

And make time for,

And practice throughout the day,

Stopping,

Looking,

Seeing,

Experiencing,

And quieting the commentary.

But when we do that,

The most wonderful thing about this is,

We have everything that we need,

Right now.

We don't need to amass a fortune,

We don't need to achieve professional levels of success,

We don't need to find our soulmate.

We can be alone,

We can have incredibly little,

And we can be a nobody,

And yet at the same time,

We can have the greatest joy imaginable,

Right now.

It's all about living in the present moment,

Seeing things new,

And making sure that as we do this,

We make time for life.

We make time to stop,

And see,

Smell,

Feel,

Experience.

Life is a beautiful adventure to our dying breath.

Even pain,

Even loss can be an adventure.

Even suffering can be things that we can see and grow from,

And even with them find beauty.

There's just always something beautiful we can be attentive to.

When we realize that,

And get out of our heads,

And get into the now,

What we'll find is that life will reward us with happiness,

With peace.

We will discover that the good life is always available to us,

And we don't have to do anything but pause,

See,

And be kind.

You can share them to www.

Happinesspodcast.

Org.

That's happinesspodcast.

Org.

Or if you want to do more and leave a review,

On that site,

You'll find a Yelp link,

A Google Plus link,

A testimonial link,

Or perhaps even the site you're listening to this podcast on.

Often you can leave reviews there too.

The reviews are an awesome way to encourage people to start listening to the Happiness Podcast.

And until next time,

Accept what is,

Love what is.