I Am That Chapter 19 - Reality Lies In Objectivity Part 3

So now the questioner goes on a different tangent.

Questioner says,

You have just said that the world is made by God.

Remember he spoke about the painter and the painting that's just the way Maharaj was expressing himself poetically.

So Maharaj says,

Remember that language is an instrument of the mind.

It is made by the mind for the mind.

Once you admit a cause then God is the ultimate cause and the world the effect.

They are different but not separate.

Highlight this.

They are different but not separate.

God and the world are one and the same because the idea of God is also simply a reflection in the mirror.

No?

First there is no thingness.

From that there is the first reflection of the sense of I.

The sense of I only attaches to an idea of God.

It creates the idea of God.

So what came first?

Sense of I came first or God came first?

I am first.

I am before God.

This is the meaning of Jesus's statement.

Yes?

So sense of I is first.

Then all the stories of God and the world appear.

Very clear?

So God and the world,

They are just two different stories but they belong to the picture which appears after the sense of I.

So they are different in words,

In ideas,

But they are not separate because everything that appears after the I is nothing but the same reflection.

Yeah?

Very very clear?

100% clear about this?

Yes?

I am first.

Then is the idea of God.

I'll read that again.

Remember,

Language is an instrument of the mind.

It is made by the mind,

For the mind,

Which means Maharaj was just talking about God to explain his idea of how he sees this world.

That's it.

Once you admit a cause,

Then God is the ultimate cause and the worldly effects is the ultimate cause and the worldly effect.

So you see what kind of a person are you?

Do you need a cause for everything in this world,

In this waking world?

You are still stuck at Dwaitam level.

It means you are still holding on to the unreality of the world and assuming it to be reality and now you want this reality to be designed by somebody.

So you are saying,

Okay,

God is the cause and this reality of this world,

Which I assume as a Dwaitam to be reality,

This is the effect of God.

So God is cause,

World is the effect.

I'm still stuck at the Dwaitam level.

So till the time you admit that there has to be cause and effect,

Then okay,

God is cause and the world is the effect.

But the moment you progress to the higher level,

At the level of Advaita,

They are different but not separate.

Now I see,

Oh,

It's all a reflection,

One reflection in another reflection,

Another reflection,

Another reflection,

Multitude of reflections.

Everything is the same consciousness.

There is no two Advaita.

So these might be called two reflections but actually they are nothing but the same.

They are not separate.

They are both reflections.

Very clear?

So all names and forms are nothing but reflections.

They might seem to be different reflections but they are not separate,

Including the idea of a God.

Absolutely clear?

Now the questioner says,

People talk of seeing God.

Maharaj says,

When you see the world,

You see God.

There is no seeing God apart from the world.

Very important.

Please highlight.

So there are so many people who claim,

Oh,

I have seen God,

I have met God,

I have had a conversation with God.

There are books and poetries,

Conversations with God at the Dwaitam level.

It's all a story of their mind.

It brings them peace.

It brings them happiness.

That's fine.

It's required for them at that level to get that mental relaxation,

That mental calmness.

But somebody who has progressed to the higher level knows that Santa Claus does not exist.

That does not mean that just because you have matured and you do not believe in a fake Santa Claus anymore,

That does not mean that you should go and break a little child's dream.

Let the child mature naturally and come to that age where he can accept that Santa Claus is not real.

So please don't go after this session and start talking to us.

There is no God.

Okay.

No,

Don't kill anybody's Santa Claus.

You're not there to kill other people's Santa Claus.

No.

You have matured.

That's good enough.

Yeah.

Very clear.

Yes.

But have you matured?

That is the question.

Have you really matured?

Or is this maturity restricted to two hours of I am that session and the rest of the week,

Six and a half days,

You are back to the same Dwaitam belief,

Doing puja of the God,

Going to the temple,

Asking you,

Give me this.

I'll give you 10 laddus.

My God,

As if God was hungry for your 10 laddus.

Without your 10 laddus,

God was not Without your 10 laddus,

God was not going to give you this.

Wow.

Your God takes bribe.

He doesn't work without a bribe.

What a corrupt God you have.

Wake up,

Wake up,

Wake up to the truth.

All an idea of the sense of I.

And nothing to blame,

Nobody to blame.

Everybody goes through childhood,

Right?

You also went through childhood.

You believed there was a Santa Claus and then you came to an age where you stopped believing.

Natural maturity.

You also went through childhood.

You played with toys.

Your doll was real.

Your little red toy car was so dear to you.

One wheel came off of that little toy car and you cried the whole day as if the ceiling has fallen on your head.

Right?

Now,

You don't really worry about that little toy car.

You don't worry about that doll.

You matured naturally.

Correct?

You don't hate the car,

But you don't have any attachment anymore.

Exactly the same thing happens with the idea of God.

You don't hate God once you're an Advaitin.

You don't hate the people who have that reverence for an external God and an external world.

Okay,

You play with your toys.

That's fine.

I am beyond that.

I have recognized there is nothing like God.

So,

Homework question for you.

Really sincerely contemplate.

Have I matured?

Are these Dwaitam concepts of God shed away naturally yet?

Or am I still stuck somewhere?

Many people ask me that,

Okay,

I have matured,

But you know,

My family has not matured.

So,

Just for their sake,

I will read out a God story to the kids.

But you know what you're doing.

You're doing exactly what your parents did to you.

Now,

At the age of 30,

40,

50,

Now you're sitting in class and unlearning what they made me learn.

So,

You be very vigilant.

Is this what I want my child to go through?

30 years down the line,

Do I want my child coming to me and saying,

What did you teach me and why?

Are you seeing what I'm saying?

One more step higher.

One more step higher.

Do I want my child to go through the same thing?

Even if this child just belongs to the waking state,

He's not there in my dream state and not there in the deep sleep state.

Do I still want to propagate an idea that I think is false?

Do I idea that I think is false?

Do I really think it is false?

Am I fooling myself?

Am I trying to fool my Advaitin mentor or my Advaitin peers?

This is what I need to contemplate.

If I had the opportunity to go back in the waking state time where my parents were teaching me all these religious concepts,

The concept of God,

What would I really want to do at this moment?

What would I want to tell them?

It's obvious,

Right?

Please don't teach me something that I will have to unlearn 20 years later because it's a lot of hard work.

It's very painful.

It's so difficult.

Don't make me go through the whole process of ripping the bandage.

It's painful.

Wouldn't you want to tell them that?

If really you would want to tell them that,

You know the answer to the question,

How should I do my child's upbringing?

Time to contemplate,

Okay?

Not time to ask me.

Contemplate.

Answer lies here within.

So people talk of seeing God.

Maharaj says when you see the world,

You see God.

There is no seeing God apart from the world.

Beyond the world to see God is to be God.

Beyond the world to see God is to be God.

The light by which you see the world,

Which is God,

Is the tiny little spark.

I am.

Again,

The light by which you see the world,

Which is God,

Or the light by which you see the two ideas of the world and the God,

Is the tiny little spark.

I am.

Stop there because it's a long sentence.

Means what?

First in that nothingness,

The sense of I am comes up.

Then that I am attaches to an idea of the God or an idea of the world.

So how did I see the world or God?

Because of the spark I am.

Very clear?

I'll read that sentence again now.

The light by which you see the world,

Which is God,

Is the tiny little spark I am.

Apparently so small,

Yet the first and the last in every act of knowing and loving.

Yes,

It's very tiny,

Small.

See,

These are words translated from Marathi.

Yeah,

Tiny,

Small simply means subtle.

That sense of I am that arises in that nothingness,

In that shunyata,

Is so subtle.

It's almost not there.

You don't even recognize it till you actually work on yourself.

Just imagine how long you took to really introspect,

Introspect,

And really work on it and recognize,

Oh,

There is that sense of I am that comes first,

Then the mind comes,

And then the dreams begin.

How much you had to really experiment with yourself.

Even though you did in Advaitavan,

Oh,

I'm not the body,

Go beyond the body,

Go to the mind,

And then beyond the mind,

I go to that sense of I am,

Yet you could not recognize it being very subtle.

Yes,

You had to do the Swapna Nidra Jnan.

You had to actually start seeing it in,

You know,

Coming out of the deep sleep towards the dream,

And then towards the waking to recognize,

Ah,

First the sense of I comes,

And that's so subtle,

And then there are images in the dream.

That I attaches to this dream image or that dream image,

Which is nothing but a thought.

It's just a thought.

I've not even opened my eyes.

The dream state is still going on.

You recognize that sense of I am,

And then you see,

Ah,

It is so subtle.

That is the translation,

Apparently so small,

And yet the first and the last in every act of knowing and loving.

Means it is the first to come up,

And then the dream state happens,

And then I know the tiger in the dream.

Who knows the tiger in the dream?

That sense of I am,

The witness consciousness,

Knows the dream image,

Whatever the content of my dream is.

So it is the first to know.

Clear?

Then you move from the dreaming to the waking,

And then you assume that it is the body mind that knows.

Ah,

No,

No,

No.

How can thought know?

Is thought alive?

Is it conscious?

Thought is not a conscious entity.

When I practice again and again to stay as the sense of I am,

I recognize,

Oh,

Thought arises and falls on its own.

I do not create a thought.

I am not the creator of thought.

I am simply the knower of the thought,

And it is dead.

Thought does not turn around and say hello and hi to me,

Does not talk with me.

It's not a conscious entity.

So that which is an unconscious entity,

That which is dead,

How can it know?

The mind cannot know.

It is the sense of I that knows.

So it knows first in the dream state,

And now again,

I go in my succession of images in the reflection,

In the mirrors,

I'm going outside,

Going further and further away,

And that's how I come to the waking state.

And then I assume that this body mind of the waking state is the one that knows.

Are you seeing what is happening?

In the succession of images,

The closer you are to reality,

You are closer to the deep sleep state,

And you recognize the sense of I am.

Yeah,

The first reflection in the mirror,

The first one,

That is the sense of I am.

Pure consciousness cannot see itself.

Pure consciousness cannot know itself.

Yes,

But pure consciousness has a desire to see itself.

It has a desire to know itself,

And that is the sense of I am.

It recognizes I am.

That itself is the first reflection in the mirror.

So if you have the two big mirrors next to you,

The first reflection of your face,

Of your body in the mirror is that sense of I am.

Now go to the multiple images further away.

As you go further away,

You're going through the images of the dream state,

What you see in the dream,

Sight,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch,

Sound.

All these appear slowly,

Slowly.

All this happens in your dream.

In some dreams,

There are only sight and smell and taste.

Maybe you're tasting a strawberry.

In some dreams,

There is physical intimacy with the beloved.

There is touch,

And everything else is blurred.

So it depends on your attachment.

It depends on what your dream is.

In some dreams,

You're running away from the tiger.

The fear is the dominant thing.

That is the only thing you remember,

Only thing you can see.

Yes,

But all of these appear in the dream state.

Those are the multiple images,

And then the furthest one is when I come to the waking state,

And then I see this body-mind,

And then I assume this body-mind is the one that knows the world.

No,

No,

No.

I'm making a mistake.

I have to go back and back and back all the way to the first image.

Yeah,

And then from the first image,

Recognize I cannot see myself.

I can only be myself.

Very clear?

I'll read that sentence again.

The light by which you see the world,

Which is God,

Is the tiny little spark.

I am.

Apparently so small,

Yet the first and the last in every act of knowing and loving.

First we understood,

Yeah,

From the sense of I am,

Dream state,

Then the waking state.

Fully the waking state is on.

Then in the night,

What happens?

Again,

You're receding back from the furthest image and coming closer.

So the waking state images dissolve,

Then the waking state images dissolve,

Then the dream state images dissolve,

Yes,

And finally you come to the truth,

Which is absolute darkness because I cannot see myself.

I cannot know myself.

I can just be myself.

Yes,

So I am,

The first reflection,

Is the one that is the first to know and the last to know.

Then the sense of I am also drops at the end of the dream state and you move into the deep sleep state and you move into the deep sleep state now and deep sleep state there is no sense of I am.

That last spark of knowing has also died down and now there is just me in my own glory.

Yes,

And the closest I can describe myself is nothingness.

That's why I say there was nothing in deep sleep.

That is why Buddha coined the word shunyata.

It is the closest word to our own direct experience of ourselves.

Shunyata,

Nothingness,

Zeroness,

Emptiness,

Stillness.

Very clear.

Question says,

Must I see the world to see God?

Maharaj says,

How else?

No world,

No God.

Questioner says,

Then what remains?

Maharaj says,

You remain as pure being.

Yeah,

When I take that journey back from the waking to the dreaming to the deep sleep,

What happens?

There is no world.

There is no God.

There is just pure being.

Shunyata,

Nothingness,

Pure being.

And what becomes of the world and of God?

Pure being.

Yeah,

The word in bracket is a Sanskrit word avyakta which means the unmanifest.

Yeah,

It is unmanifest that pure being is in its unmanifested state.

So questioner says,

Is it the same as the great expanse or paramakash?

Because Maharaj has spoken about paramakash before.

Yeah,

So he's saying,

Is it the same as that?

So Maharaj says,

You may call it so.

Words do not matter for they do not reach.

They cannot reach it.

They turn back in utter negation.

In the Marathi book,

Utter negation is written as neti neti.

They turn back in utter negation because all you can do with words is use them at the waking state level,

Maybe in the dream state level,

But at the dream state level,

They don't make any logical sense.

Beyond that,

Words cannot go,

No?

Not this,

Not this,

Not this.

That's how you will describe when you come to finally nothingness,

Pure being.

Yeah,

So words do not matter for they do not reach it.

They turn back in utter negation.

Questioner says,

How can I see the world as God?

What does it mean to see the world as God?

Maharaj says,

It is like entering a dark room.

Now you close your eyes and I'll read and you just imagine what Maharaj is saying.

Yeah,

Don't worry,

We'll read it twice,

Once with your open eyes also.

Right now close your eyes.

Maharaj is saying,

It is like entering a dark room.

You see nothing.

Imagine you're in a dark room and you cannot see anything.

You see nothing.

You may touch,

But you do not see.

No colours,

No outlines.

The window opens and the room is flooded with light.

Colours and shapes come into being.

The window is the giver of light,

But not the source of it.

The sun is the source.

You can open your eyes now.

Is this very clear what Maharaj is saying?

Yes,

This was just an analogy.

Now you have to apply what the real thing is to this analogy.

Okay,

We'll read it again.

It is like entering a dark room.

You see nothing.

You may touch,

But you do not see.

No colours,

No outlines.

Then the window opens and the room is flooded with light.

Colours and shapes come into being.

The window is the giver of light,

But not the source of it.

So far,

Very,

Very clear?

Now let's see what Maharaj is saying.

Similarly,

Matter is like the dark room.

Matter,

This waking world,

Matter.

Look around at all the furniture items in your room.

Matter,

This world,

This body,

Your own physical body,

The computer and all the advaitins there.

All this is matter.

Similarly,

Matter is like the dark room.

Consciousness is the window.

Which consciousness?

Witness consciousness,

The sense of I am.

Witness consciousness is the window.

Flooding matter with sensations and perceptions.

And the supreme is the sun,

The source for both of matter and of light.

Okay,

Again,

The room is nothing but matter,

Including this physical body and all the physical bodies and the objects,

The situations of the world.

Dark room.

When I am in the deep sleep state,

Dark room,

Nothing is there.

Sense of I am arises,

Window opens.

Light comes in,

Means I start seeing images,

Dream images.

And then the waking state follows.

Is the sense of I am the source of the light?

No,

No,

That is simply a window.

The source of light is the pure consciousness beyond,

Which was there in the darkness of deep sleep.

It is darkness itself.

Yes,

But it itself is the source of light.

Very clear.

It seems contradictory.

It's darkness and light.

It is both because it is beyond both.

Yeah,

It is the father or the parent of both darkness and light.

It is that which brings both life and death.

It is that which brings good and bad.

So the father of all the opposites,

All the opposites.

It is the parent of all the opposites.

That is the pure consciousness.

So pure consciousness is the source.

Yes,

That is the darkness of deep sleep.

Then the window opens with the sense of I am.

That is the window opening.

And then I see dream images.

And then I see the waking world.

They are also images.

You finally come to this truth.

This is also thought.

This Advaitan class is thought.

Ekta is a thought.

Yeah,

It's just that.

First that window opened and now I can see everything.

This is the meaning of God.

That's it.

The God is in the picture.

Yeah,

He might look different from the world that is seen as the picture,

But he's not separate.

So I'll just read the last part.

Similarly,

Matter is like the dark room.

Consciousness,

Which is witness consciousness,

Is the window which floods matter with sensations and perceptions.

What is the meaning of sensations and perceptions?

I start feeling all these sensations that make me feel that this is real.

This is who I am.

And perceptions of the world,

Sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch.

I start feeling the world really exists.

All this happens first in the dream state.

I have a dream body and there is a dream world.

So it is that light that fills it with sensations and perceptions first in the dream state and then in the waking state.

And the supreme is the sun.

Supreme means another word for pure consciousness or primordial awareness.

Just another word.

The source both of matter and of light.

Light is nothing but the darkness itself and matter is this whole world of sensations and perceptions.

There is no world really.

Does not exist.

Ajata.

Unborn.

It never was born.

It is only a thought.

This is a thought.

That is why it keeps disappearing moment to moment,

Moment to moment,

Moment to moment.

That is why I never feel I am 40,

50,

60,

70 years old because I am not this body-mind.

It keeps disappearing moment to moment,

Moment to moment,

Moment to moment.

It is only memory that establishes a false continuity.

If this body has a seizure or a stroke,

For some time you lose memory of everything.

Yes,

It is gone.

It is completely wiped off.

Maybe it is not a long-term thing but for short term,

That little while,

Maybe one night,

One day,

All that is gone.

You see you are ever new.

You are totally new.

You do not have any memory who you are,

Who your family is,

What is happening.

Totally new.

You still are.

That is when you are seeing the truth really.

Memory comes back in and all the false story is back in line.

So,

It is actually a lucky thing to experience something like that where for some time you lose memory and you recognize I still am.

I still am.

Moment to moment I am.

Moment to moment it is new.

But now you will have to work with that memory and keep it in the parking lot again and again as if you have just lost memory.

Reject it as if you have lost it.

That is the problem.

That is the best way to see the truth.

Moment to moment body disappears.

Moment to moment mind disappears.

Moment to moment perception of sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch disappears,

Disappears,

Disappears.

Again it reappears.

Again it disappears.

And in a good time in the night it is not there.

Dream state,

Deep sleep state,

It is not there.

But I still am.

That is the source.

Very clear.

The window may be closed or open.

The sun shines all the time.

It makes all the difference to the room but none to the sun.

Yet all this is secondary to the tiny little thing which is the I am.

I'll stop there again.

The primordial awareness or pure consciousness is the sun.

It is always shining.

That is why you always have the sense of I am.

Has there ever been a moment in your life,

Ever been a moment in your life when you can say I did not have the sense of I am?

Who's saying I did not have the sense of I am?

Are you seeing this?

So it's not possible that you are not there.

Yes,

Even if you say it for the deep sleep state,

I was not there.

Then who is saying I was not there?

How are you so confident about I was not there?

Somebody has to be there to say that I was to be there to say that I was not there.

There was nothing there.

Who is the one giving the gavahi?

Who is providing this testimony that there was nothing there?

That means that one was there,

No?

Do you see this?

The one that is providing the testimony that there was nothing there,

That was there.

Yes,

So that is the primordial awareness.

That is the sun.

That is who I truly am.

The supreme is what I am.

The brahman consciousness,

The sun.

Very,

Very clear?

It's not somebody else that is the sun,

The guru,

The god,

The external advaitin teacher.

No,

No.

No,

No.

Wrong number.

Wrong number has been dialed.

I am the sun.

I am the supreme.

I am brahman.

There was never a moment that I can confidently say that I was not.

Then who is saying I was not?

That means that was there to say that I was not.

Very clear?

So,

The sun is always there whether the window may be opened or closed.

That means whether the sense of I am is there or not there.

The sun is always there.

So,

You are very well aware that you are the higher witness.

Do you see that?

You know it for sure.

You know it that you are the higher witness.

The one that is looking in the mirror.

You know it is you.

Whether you see that first reflection in the mirror or not,

Irrespective of that,

You know you are.

I know I am.

You are.

I know I am.

Is this very clear?

So,

The sun is always there whether the window is open or closed.

Window is the witness consciousness or the sense of I am.

First sentence very clear?

The window may be closed or open.

The sun shines all the time.

It makes all the difference to the room but none to the sun.

It does not make any difference to the sun,

The supreme.

I am all the time,

The higher witness.

Yet,

All this is secondary to the tiny little thing which is the I am.

Still he is giving importance to the tiny little thing I am,

The sense of I am.

Let us see why.

He is saying without the I am there is nothing.

All knowledge is about the I am.

False ideas about this I am lead to bondage.

Right knowledge leads to freedom and happens.

Why is he saying this?

I would have never recognized that I am the higher witness without first locating the sense of I am,

The lower witness.

First,

I recognize the sense of I am.

Then I recognize who I am,

That pure consciousness beyond.

I am the supreme.

I am the sun beyond.

I am the nothingness because I said there was nothing in the darkness of deep sleep.

That means I was.

So I recognize this after I recognize the sense of I am.

So I really took a stepwise journey from the body to the mind,

From the mind to the sense of I am which I call witness,

Witnessing the body-mind.

And then I recognize who this I keeps dropping.

This I keeps falling off and then there is this nothingness that I am automatically thrown into.

What thrown into?

I am that.

This I is simply a thought that arises,

Falls,

Arises,

Falls.

So sense of I am is a very important key.

It opens the door.

The master key to that door.

The moment I open the door,

I recognize,

Aha,

I am Brahman.

That is why I am is very,

Very important.

That sense of I am,

The witness consciousness.

That is why when you take any Advaita book,

Beginner book,

Any Advaita book,

First it talks about the witness consciousness.

That is the key,

The key to the door.

That is the master key.

Very clear.

Now I will read that sentence again.

The window may be closed or open.

The sun shines all the time.

It makes all the difference to the room,

But none to the sun.

Yet all this is secondary to the little thing,

Which is the I am.

Without the I am,

There is nothing.

Please highlight.

Without the I am,

I could not have gotten there.

Correct?

Body to mind,

Mind to I am.

From I am,

I recognize I am the supreme.

I am was the lower witness.

Now I recognize I am the higher witness.

I came this way.

Now start going back out.

From the higher witness,

From nothingness,

In deep sleep state,

I recognize the sense of I am comes.

After the sense of I am,

The I attaches to this idea or that thought.

Then the dream images come.

So without the I,

There is nothing.

Very clear?

The this and that is the something.

First there is I,

It attaches to something.

Then only all the world appears.

Without the I,

There is nothing.

Very clear?

All knowledge is about the I am.

False ideas about this I am lead to bondage.

Right knowledge leads to freedom and happiness.

What happens in many different paths,

Dwaitam Paths,

Why is there bondage still on the Dwaitam Path?

When they come to I am,

They say,

Aha,

This is the soul.

So now I have an individual I am and you have an individual I am.

So I have an individual soul and you have an individual soul.

And so now mine is a Hindu soul and yours is a Muslim soul and yours is a Christian soul and their division starts,

Bondage starts and hatred and anger and all those,

You know,

All the fears that can go on there.

Then my guru is better than your guru,

My organization is better than your organization.

You're stuck,

You're stuck big time.

You're in marshland.

Yeah,

Wherever you put your foot,

You're going to go deep down into the marsh.

So get out of that.

How do you get out of that?

By recognizing the truth.

The truth is only one,

Advaita.

There is no two.

There is no two.

Yeah,

That belief of two is bondage.

The wrong idea of the sense of I am leads to bondage.

So bondage is not just on the spiritual path.

Then you have taken it to the waking world and you have now believed,

Oh,

The sense of I am belongs to this physical body.

This physical body is called Ekta and Ekta is real.

This world is real.

This personal world of Ekta is real.

Bondage because of my ignorance,

Because I did not understand that I am not the window through which the light is coming.

Sense of I am is only the window.

I am the sun beyond.

That is what I have missed.

Very,

Very clear.

False ideas about this I am lead to bondage.

Right knowledge leads to freedom and happiness.