I Am That - Session 82 - All Suffering Is Born Of Desire - 1

SANSKRIT CHANT Chapter 28 All suffering is born of desire.

Questioner I come from a far-off country.

I had some inner experiences on my own and I would like to compare notes.

Maharaj By all means.

Do you know yourself?

Questioner I know that I am not the body nor am I the mind.

Maharaj says What makes you say so?

Questioner I do not feel I am in the body.

I seem to be all over the place,

Everywhere.

As to the mind,

I can switch it on and off,

So to say.

This makes me feel I am not the mind.

Maharaj When you feel yourself everywhere in the world,

Do you remain separate from the world or are you the world?

Ask yourself the question before you see the answer.

Do you remain separate from the world or are you the world?

Questioner says Both.

Sometimes I feel myself to be neither mind nor body but one single all-seeing I.

When I go deeper into it,

I find myself to be all that I see and the world and myself become one.

How many of you recognize both these steps?

Okay,

How many of you didn't even understand there are two steps?

That means you have to work a little more on your witnessing.

It's not strong enough.

That's why you didn't recognize there are two steps in that.

Number one is when you just recognize yourself as the witness.

When you are the witness,

There is still a slight duality.

Even if you are not indulging in perception,

Sensation,

Thought and feeling,

There is still a slight duality in witnessing.

And when you go deeper,

Means when the witness collapses,

Then what happens?

There is an automatic oneness.

There is no more supreme reality,

A witness,

A body-mind person and the world.

It has all become one.

So you recognize the two steps.

If you didn't recognize in the first go when you read it,

It means your witnessing has not strengthened.

Work on your witnessing,

Then only your Samadhi will strengthen.

Clear?

So can you take that step right now?

Take a step beyond the body-mind.

Right now.

Are you the witness of the person?

Are you noticing the person is sitting this way?

Looking this way?

Can you recognize the sensation called the body?

Can you recognize that sensation is in me,

The space of the witnessing awareness?

Attempt to hold on to this for the rest of the evening.

Simply be in the witnessing.

Hold on to this and this will strengthen your Samadhi.

Otherwise Samadhi will not even begin.

You'll be stuck even if you get instructions.

So hold on to this.

This will help you understand what he is saying in this.

At first I'm separate from the world and then everything merges into me.

There is no two.

That's why the answer was both.

So he moves from duality to non-duality.

Those who got the Samadhi today,

We start with duality.

Do you realize it?

That Samadhi itself in the first go is from duality to non-duality.

Maharaj,

Very well.

What about desires?

Do you have any question?

Yes,

They come short and superficial.

And what do you do about them?

Questioner,

What can I do?

They come,

They go.

I look at them.

Sometimes I see my body and my mind engaged in fulfilling them.

Highlight.

I see my body and my mind engaged in fulfilling them.

So where is he maintaining his stand?

Witness.

He didn't say,

I get engaged in them.

So see,

He's quite a sharp sadhak.

He's not an absolute beginner.

Maharaj says,

Whose desires are being fulfilled?

Questioner says,

They are a part of the world in which I live.

They are just like trees and clouds are there.

Maharaj says,

Are they not a sign of some imperfection?

Questioner says,

Why should they be?

They are as they are.

And I am as I am.

How can the appearance and disappearance of desires affect me?

Of course,

They affect the shape and content of the mind.

So see,

He has become established in witnessing.

He clearly sees the mind as separate.

So there is happiness.

It is of the mind,

Not mine.

If there is sadness,

It is of the mind,

Not mine.

Desires are fulfilled of the mind,

Not mine.

He's so clear.

Are you clear?

This is the question you have to ask yourself.

Am I so established in that witnessing consciousness where such thoughts arise,

Such feelings arise?

Am I able to recognize that that is of the mind?

That is not mine.

Can you keep that distance from it?

Only when you maintain the distance will you not indulge.

They affect the shape and content of the mind.

Maharaj says very well.

What is your work?

I am a probation officer.

Maharaj,

What does it mean?

Questioner says,

Juvenile offenders are let off on probation.

And there are special officers to watch their behavior and to help them get training and find work.

Maharaj says,

Must you work?

Questioner says,

Who works?

Work happens to take place.

See his level?

Yes,

Work happens to take place.

Have you reached that level of witnessing consciousness where you recognize the flow?

Then pat yourself on the back.

If not,

This is a little work area.

Can I simply surrender to the flow and recognize the flow?

When he is not even taking credit for work.

What is it?

Non-doership.

Do you have non-doership towards your own work,

Whatever work you are in,

Whichever field you are working?

He asks him,

Do you need to work?

I need it for the sake of money.

I like it because it puts me in touch with living beings.

Maharaj says,

What do you need them for?

Living beings.

Why do you need them?

Questioner says,

They may need me.

And it is their destinies that made me take up this work.

It is one life after all.

One life.

Do you see this?

When you come to that recognition that this is all one.

It is one life after all.

Maharaj,

How did you come to your present state?

Questioner says,

Sri Ramana Maharshi's teachings have put me on my way.

Then I met one Douglas Harding who helped me by showing me how to work on the who am I.

Maharaj asked,

Was it sudden or gradual?

Questioner says,

It was quite sudden.

Like something quite forgotten coming back to one's mind.

Or like a sudden flash of understanding.

How simple,

I said.

How simple.

I am not what I thought I am.

I am neither the perceived nor the perceiver.

I am the perceiving only.

I like this.

How many of you got here after doing that five perceptions where the world collapsed,

You couldn't draw the line?

Yes?

Beautiful.

Those who didn't get there,

Take this down as a little homework task.

When you come to that point where you cannot draw a line where the perceiver ended and perceiving began.

Where the perceiving ended and the perceived began.

When you cannot draw that line and you recognize the oneness.

That's what is his recognition.

So he says,

I am neither the perceived nor the perceiver.

I am the perceiving only.

Maharaj says,

Not even the perceiving.

But that which makes all this possible.

So questioner asks,

What is love?

Maharaj says,

When the sense of distinction and separation is absent.

You may call it love.

Now there are levels in this.

Some of us recognize the oneness.

But we cannot identify its flavor.

You remember I asked you yesterday,

Can you identify its flavor?

It has a certain deliciousness in that oneness.

Identify the flavor in one and where you are having trouble seeing it.

Go attempt to see if you can find that flavor there.

And then you will see the oneness.

Those who had the trouble,

Did you try this?

Those who didn't,

Attempt to see this flavor.

That deliciousness of oneness,

That itself is love.

Are you able to identify the deliciousness of this oneness?

Can you recognize it as love?

Not intellectually.

Actually enjoying the yummy flavor of love.

Instantly brings ananda.

If it doesn't bring ananda,

Means test has failed.

You have not recognized it as love.

There is no smile on your face.

This itself suggests you have not tasted it as love.

You have not tasted love.

Intellectually understanding love and tasting love is different.

Do you get it?

The moment you taste it,

You cannot but smile.

That ananda is natural.

So full.

Yes,

It's so full.

That feeling of completeness itself is ananda.

So it goes from oneness to love to fullness.

To completeness.

Questioner says,

Why so much stress on love between man and woman?

Maharaj says,

Because the element of happiness in it is so prominent.

Questioner says,

Is it not so in all love?

Means all kinds of love.

Maharaj says,

Not necessarily.

Love may cause pain.

You call it then compassion.

So questioner says,

What is happiness?

Maharaj says,

Harmony between the inner and the outer is happiness.

On the other hand,

Self-identification with the outer causes suffering.

So those who have started samadhi today,

Inner and outer.

Did the wall collapse?

Did the closed-eyed samadhi automatically materialize into open-eyed samadhi?

Yes,

If it did,

Then you got a glimpse of this.

That is harmony.

Did you notice that it continued?

The witnessing automatically continued and the mind was really,

Really quiet.

The collapse also happened with open-eyed.

That means you recognized harmony.

Yes,

If it didn't happen,

Take it down as something that I need to notice or recognize in my next samadhi practice.

When you have identification with this physical body and the world,

It's nothing but dukkha.

Do you really see it as dukkha?

That is the question.

Are you still enjoying samsara?

If you're still enjoying,

Then this will be hard to see for you.

If you still feel there is pleasure in the spouse,

Pleasure in the son or daughter,

Pleasure in the parent,

Then you are still raw.

You're not ripe yet.

Shardama says,

Wait.

Wait till you become ripe.

Wait.

Because you've not seen it as dukkha yet.

When you see it very clearly,

It is dukkha.

Then there is no more attachment to the outer.

There is no more identification with the outer.

Then you're completely turned inwards.

And this is a treasure,

Really.

Very few people can get there.

Find that treasure within.

And it's amazing that peace,

It's like a wealth.

Then all this becomes petty.

All this becomes petty.

So that treasure,

You need to value it.

It will not come to you very easily.

I'm giving this to you as a warning.

Samadhi does not come easily.

Samadhi needs to be earned.

You really need to have that interest,

That love,

That turning inwards,

That I am done with this outer feeling.

If you don't have this,

I'm done with this outer,

Then that sinking in,

That establishing in the chaitanya doesn't happen.

So if you find in this retreat that you are raw,

You're not ripe yet,

Then be kind with yourself and give yourself some more time.

And with complete awareness,

Go back into the samsara and test,

Really is there joy here?

What am I lusting for?

What am I salivating for?

What am I running behind?

And run.

Allow yourself to run.

Run like a crazy horse.

And recognize like the dog who runs behind the Mercedes and wins and it overtakes the Mercedes with his tongue hanging outside and then stops and looks here and there.

Okay,

What do I do now?

See if you feel like that silly dog or not.

Recognize the futility,

Wake up.

Only when you're fed up of it,

Then only can that turning in happen.

Then only the wall between outer and inner collapses and that harmony takes over.

That is ananda,

That is happiness.

It's got nothing to do with pleasure from some external object in the outer,

No.

Questioner asks,

How does self-identification happen?

Maharaj,

The self by its nature knows itself only.

For lack of experience,

Whatever it perceives,

It takes to be itself.

Battered,

It learns to look out.

That is viveka.

And to live alone,

Vairagya.

When right behavior,

Which is uparati,

Becomes normal,

A powerful inner urge,

Mumukshutva,

Makes it seek its source.

The candle of the body is lighted and all becomes clear and bright,

Atmaprakash.

You will see this,

Exactly like this.

Exactly.

And that inner thirst is so intense,

You just cannot ignore it.

Then you have to turn with it.

You have to turn with it.

So he's given you exactly the steps that I gave you on day one.

What are the steps?

What are the steps?

Viveka happens,

Basically.

You start discriminating between what is real,

Which is inner,

And what is unreal,

The outer.

Viveka starts happening as the first step.

Then it develops into vairagya.

Now you're not interested in this.

Because you see this outer as an illusion.

It arises,

It falls.

It arises,

It falls.

I gave everybody the task to see.

The person arises,

Falls.

Did you see that?

How many of us saw that,

Really?

Yes,

The person arises and falls.

Everybody has not seen it yet.

Those who have not seen it,

See that you take it down as a task for tomorrow.

The person arises and falls,

Appears,

Disappears,

Appears,

Disappears.

What is the word?

The word is perception of sight,

Sound,

Smell,

Taste,

Touch.

Did you recognize it?

Appears,

Disappears,

Appears,

Disappears.

What is the meaning of appearing and disappearing?

Not permanent,

Not real.

Does that background,

The oneness,

Does that disappear?

The nothingness?

Did you see it disappear even once?

Yes.

That background of the now is always there.

On that,

The world appears and disappears and this person appears and disappears.

So what should you be holding on to?

That which appears and disappears or that which is stable background of it all?

Hold on to the permanent,

No?

This is vairagya.

Oh,

This is an illusion.

I already saw it.

It appears,

Disappears,

Appears,

Disappears.

Why will I hold on to this?

I will hold on to that nothingness,

The background,

The now.

That permanence,

That nobodiness,

Nothingness,

There is no I there.

How many of you realized even the I appears and disappears,

Appears and disappears?

So not even holding on to the I,

The nothingness never says I.

That background,

Holding on to that,

Holding on to that permanence,

That is the inner.

Yeah,

So therefore,

There is vairagya for the outer.

That vairagya happened only because of the viveka that you saw everything arising and falling as waves.

What does vairagya automatically lead to?

Uparati.

Automatic withdrawal from indulging in that so-called pleasure.

Those who sat down for samadhi or simply closing your eyes and witnessing,

What did you notice?

Now that thought that was so attractive on day one is not so attractive anymore.

It doesn't have that grip on me anymore.

Yeah,

I could just stay as the witness.

It came,

It played,

Played,

Played,

Tried to attract me,

Tried to attract me and it disappeared.

Did that happen?

This is uparati.

Withdrawing from indulging in that pleasure.

Even thinking is a pleasure.

Do you notice this?

Just interacting with that thought.

That is a pleasure.

Uparati,

Withdrawal.

Automatically it happened because of the vairagya.

Because you did this exercise for three days and you recognize,

Oh,

This is impermanent.

This is permanent.

This that I'm holding on to.

And that recognition of the illusion,

The temporariness of perception,

Sensation,

Thought and feeling allowed you to stay as the witness instead of jumping in.

Clear?

Uparati is very clear now to everybody.

Yeah,

Now it will automatically,

If you continue the practice with open eyed and take it back home,

It will translate into sansara.

You will see,

You will withdraw from pleasures automatically.

You will withdraw from pain also.

That which you thought is fun,

Gossiping with the neighbor for half an hour and then getting a headache,

Now you withdraw from it.

Oh,

You see it as pain.

Complete withdrawal.

Uparati.

And as you go deeper and deeper,

You will realize that you don't even want to get up and get out.

There is just this inner pull to stay there.

That is the mumukshutva.

So you'll understand mumukshutva in your samadhi.

Then you come and explain it to me.

Clear?

Question.

What is the real cause of suffering?

Maharaj,

Self-identification with the limited,

Vyaktitva,

This personality,

This body-mind person is vyaktitva.

Sensations as such,

However strong,

Do not cause suffering.

It is the mind.

Bewildered by wrong ideas,

Addicted to thinking,

I am this,

I am that.

That fears loss and craves gain and suffers when frustrated.

So the body is nothing but sensations.

These sensations,

Even if they are very strong,

They don't really cause suffering.

So body is not the cause of suffering.

What is the cause of suffering?

Mind.

Because it is the mind that says I am this body.

It is the mind that says I am this person.

Do you see this?

So it is the mind that attaches this and that.

Then once it is the person,

Then it becomes a female or a male.

The moment it's a female or a male,

Then the other identifications come.

The father,

Whatever the mother,

The brother,

The sister,

The colleague,

The professional,

The successful,

Whatever artist,

Professional,

All these things,

I am this,

I am that,

I am this and that comes later.