Nisargadatta's I Am That Session 33 Appearances & Reality IV

Regarding this line today,

Are you afraid of the absolute?

I had to laugh at that because that is so true.

Yesterday as I was finishing the spiritual journal,

The chapters 11,

12 and 13,

And it was coming like,

It came by itself,

I am Brahman,

But to write that it was like I am Brahman.

But just imagine what consequences it has.

I have no excuses anymore,

I have no obstacles,

Kya hoga?

Superb.

I think for this,

In this world,

For this body-mind to get used to this huge truth,

I am Brahman,

That is a transformative process.

That's why I tell you,

Little less indulgence outside,

Little more inwards.

So isolation from the world helps this truth get absorbed even better.

Now do you understand why people used to actually go on these isolated retreats or just go into the forest and be with themselves?

Why?

Because they wanted to protect themselves from going back into the old conditioning.

And they would set aside some time for themselves where they would allow this knowledge to seep in,

To go in and become clear.

So that now they become stronger than the conditioning.

Remember I showed you how from babyhood till now,

Till adulthood,

So many years of conditioning is there.

And now just few years of spiritual knowledge.

So the spiritual knowledge has a lot to erase.

And that is why people used to really go for isolation and that helped that,

Okay,

I'm not in that conditioning.

So this helps me to become stronger.

And then after that little isolation period,

I go back out and there you see your real truth,

How strong you have become.

So now we are all householders and we cannot take isolation.

So anyway,

You become isolated in this pandemic,

No?

It is good for you.

Make it stronger,

Become more Antarmukhi,

Turn inwards and recognize,

Yeah,

I am Brahman.

There is nobody going to come and now put you,

Hang you to death for saying I am God.

That was only in Mansoor's time that it happened,

That he was hanged to death because he said I am God.

No,

Nobody's going to do that to you.

You live in a democratic world now.

Most of you are in democratic countries,

You have the freedom of speech.

Nothing is going to happen,

Nothing to be afraid of.

Say the truth.

I am Brahman.

I am God.

And then see how naturally you start seeing the truth,

Why project it every morning.

And it is all a story.

It is not that in this story,

I'm going to find something very sensible,

Huh?

No,

It is all a story.

It is all conditioning.

All conditioning,

All futile.

What is the point?

Why should I indulge?

Just like when your little daughter or niece,

Nephew,

Whoever in the family says,

Come,

Let's play fake house,

House.

And she gives you a cup in which has fake coffee and you fake it.

You drink the fake coffee and you say,

Wow,

You're such a good cook.

You've made such delicious coffee.

You go along with it,

Right?

At the same time,

You're not involved.

Do you see that?

There is no drama happening here.

Here there is an absolute straight line of peace.

Yet you are doing whatever your part is with that niece,

Nephew,

Little kid,

Daughter,

Son.

Exactly like that,

Your life becomes.

You see the body,

Mind playing its role.

You do not get involved,

You do not indulge.

So be strong,

Unafraid.

I am Brahman.

Yes,

Be with the truth.

That is the only way to absolute peace.

There is no other way.

Maharaj said today,

There is no other way.

You have to be yourself.

Your problem is that you are confused.

You take yourself to be in the world instead of the world being within you.

And that confusion gets wiped,

It becomes very clear.

I am Brahman.

Everything is within me.

Whenever I interact with my family members also,

Like what you said,

When my daughter speaks to me,

When my wife speaks to me,

I still talk to them,

I still take the decisions or whatever that is required for them and my intervention is there.

But I always find a gap between,

You know,

What I am saying and internally something makes me,

Internally there is something which is just saying that you are not this and you are saying something to them.

So there is a gap that is there all the time which I can experientially see in a way.

Okay.

Are you clear that the Consciousness or Awareness cannot speak?

Yeah,

I can see that.

Now do you understand that it was the mind telling you,

You are not this,

The Consciousness does not speak,

Does not say you are not this?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Certainly,

You know,

I understand that the mind is telling.

So you see the gap between that space that I am,

The awareness that I am,

Which is silent and the body-mind which is in activity.

Yes,

Right.

So is it clear that there is activity in me,

The silence?

Right,

I can see that,

Yes.

Okay.

Thank you.

In the last part,

In the last question which was not in the English edition,

Dukha and Dukhacha Anta He Manocha Ticha Ukhya Prashna Haith or something like that he says.

And then Maharaj says that should be removed,

That there is sorrow and the ending of the sorrow.

This story should be.

All stories should be removed.

All stories should be removed.

I will read it out to you if you want again.

He's not saying just that story.

He's saying all stories should be removed like wish.

Wish means poison.

Treating them as poison and read it out again.

The questioner says,

Maharaj says,

Wish means poison.

Remove it from its source,

From its origin.

Then everything will be fine.

Clear,

Note it down.

So he's not saying just that story.

Every story related to this waking world,

Whatever takes you into these doubts of there has to be time,

Space,

Causation that creates all more and more drama in all stories.

Just treat them all as poison.

They are only conditioning.

You can continuously work on yourself by coming to the source.

At the source,

There is no time,

There is no space,

There is no causation.

It is all wish.

Wish means poison.

Throw it away.

Do you keep poison in the cabinet at home?

No.

You throw away poison.

Throw it away.

Discard it like poison.

Then everything will be fine.

So what he means is the mind will again and again go back to its old conditioning because it has conditioning from babyhood all the way to adulthood.

So it's going to keep coming up,

Keep coming up with a new story,

New story,

New story,

New story to go back to its old ways.

It loves its old ways,

Its old conditioning.

Again and again,

Neti,

Neti.

No,

Not this,

Not this,

Not this.

Very clear?

You have to keep discarding it.

From mind's level,

There are all these labels are created.

Like what is the,

On the Abhas level.

Yesterday I was,

I was working on a journal.

So there was Abhas of,

You know,

I am working on a journal.

And most of the,

Some of the points from today's chapter that I wrote in the journal and that created like when I heard,

I didn't read the chapter before,

When I heard that there was from the Abhas level,

There is like a sense of,

You know,

Surprise.

Wow,

How come?

Then the labels are created as,

Oh,

That is called as intuition.

Oh,

That is something,

Right?

Something super special,

Something that came in my consciousness or something.

From the consciousness level though,

Everything is available.

Everything is the truth.

Nothing new for consciousness.

So there is this understanding of,

From reality level,

From what is not just Abhas.

It's,

It is there from the Abhas level.

I can understand that if I drop the labels that,

Yeah,

The reality is always there.

The consciousness is always there.

From the Abhas level,

I can understand that.

And still there is Abhas,

Sometimes bold.

So as per the guidance in today's chapter,

As you said,

Just keep working from the source.

That is the only way for the Abhas to drop off.

It won't drop off as the creation will not drop off,

But my association with the Abhas will drop off.

Correct,

Perfect,

Perfect.

Your wrong understanding that I am the body-mind involved in this situation,

That will drop off.

That belief itself,

That is an Abhas.

It is not the truth.

It's not Nirabhas.

It's not the truth.

Yes.

Good.

Right now you are pretending to be Divya,

The body-mind,

The mother,

The daughter,

The sibling.

That level,

There is no pretense.

I am being the conscious and I am recognizing that the body-mind operates automatically as the mother,

As the daughter,

As the sibling,

As the friend.

Right.

So the body-mind is doing its thing automatically.

I,

The consciousness,

Am not doing anything anymore.

Now I see it like a game.

I don't see it like a game when I become the mother.

I get frustrated.

My son did this to me.

My daughter said that to me.

That time I have become really.

.

.

I have become the body-mind.

Only in few moments when the whole scene is over and you are really out of that scene,

Moments you come to the consciousness and that's when you feel,

Yeah,

I was pretending.

Do you get it?

So the pretense is in being the mother,

In being the daughter,

In being the sister,

And then getting involved and pretending to be the doer of that action or pretending to be the experiencer of the situation.

That is a pretense.

This is not a pretense.

No,

I agree.

Getting into the role is a pretense.

Listening to you right now as a student of Advaita is a pretense.

Yes.

I get that.

What I'm saying is,

Why?

Sometimes you feel like,

Why do you need to pretend?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Don't pretend.

Okay,

You've become very confused.

You're thinking I'm telling you,

You,

The consciousness,

Have to pretend.

I did not say that.

I'm saying you,

The consciousness,

Do not have to pretend.

You,

The consciousness,

Have to recognize that the body-mind works automatically.

You are pretending that I am working.

That is the lie.

Yes,

You are pretending that I am doing.

You are pretending that I am experiencing that.

You are not experiencing it.

You are not doing it.

You are the awareness in which this little action,

This situation has just emerged.

It is an abhas.

Just let it play.

It will go.

Now,

In that play,

This body-mind has a role.

It's going to automatically play.

If the kid is hurt,

This body-mind,

Which is the mother of the kid,

Is going to go and put the bandage.

You can't say,

I am dispassionate.

I am Brahman.

I will not put the bandage on the kid.

I am not going to pretend to be the mother because I am not the mother.

Now,

You've gone totally tangent.

No,

No.

Divya,

I did not pretend.

I know,

I know.

I know,

Divya,

You get it.

But I am just clarifying for the whole group.

Now,

This is another tangent if you go on.

Oh,

I am Brahman.

I am not going to take care of the kid.

I am not going to cook from today.

Food is going to appear to me because I am Brahman.

Finish.

Now,

You've gone on to some other tangent.

You are not on the path of direct experience anymore.

I don't know which path you are on.

Figure it out.

Wake up.

Shake up.

Again,

Come back.

Okay.

Recognize where is the pretense.

I am pretending to be the mother of the kid.

I don't have to pretend.

Take the step back and notice the body-mind does what it needs to do to take care of the kid.

I am separate from the body-mind.

Has this distinction happened?

Yes.

So,

That's where now we… I told you from this chapter on,

You have to work in detail now.

Chapter 1 to 13 was just like a quick run through.

It was at a very superficial level.

Glimpses you got.

Now,

We are working on detail points.

In every chapter,

You will have detail points to work on this.

Now,

Recognizing,

Oh,

I am the consciousness.

I am the awareness in which this situation has come up.

I don't need to pretend.

The body-mind is automatically aware of it.

It is automatically going to do what it needs to do.

For example,

Right now,

Divya is asking this body-mind the question.

And this body-mind called Ekta is answering Divya.

I am standing beyond and noticing this happening.

I am knowing the answer exactly at the moment the words are coming out of these lips and Divya is knowing.

I am not speaking right now.

Do you get it?

I do not pretend to be the teacher anymore.

When I recognize it.

When I forget this stand and I again become the teacher,

Then I am pretending.

Understood?

Similarly,

If you forget your stand as the consciousness,

Become Divya,

The mother,

Then you are pretending.

Yes.

When you take the step beyond,

You notice,

Oh,

Everything happens on its own.

I was lying to myself till now.

I was fooling myself.

Now let me just see the world happening on its own.

It's a projection.

My projection,

Not somebody else.

I cannot blame somebody else.

I don't know if somebody else even exists.

My projection.

Just watch it at play.

Just watch it at play.

So the example I gave you,

How you play with the little kid and have fake coffee.

Notice the body-mind playing in the world,

Doing its thing.

Yeah.

That time you are not indulged.

There are no emotions.

You're totally dispassionate,

Detached.

A Sangha.

This is Sangha.

This is Sangha.

This is a Sangha.

Clear?

Everything happens anyways.

It's like a program code.

It's going to happen.

But now I am a Sangha.

I see it.

It's all like a game.

I'm playing alone.

I don't have an option.

Yeah,

I guess that was my point.

It's just that,

Why is that?

You know,

Why are you alone?

I'm trying to stop the projection which is not going to happen.

You're stopping the projection.

You're stopping the projection because you think it is,

I am suffering.

It is causing suffering to me.

I am suffering.

That is why you want to stop the projection.

If you see it all as a game,

All as a play,

Then there is no desire to even stop anything.

Even the desire to stop,

I want to stop it.

Means I've forgotten that I have awareness or consciousness.

Again,

I have become the body-mind and I want to stop it.

There is resistance.

Ego has come up.

It does not like something.

That's why it wants to stop it.

When you're a Sangha,

There is no question of wanting to stop anything.

It doesn't matter what is,

Is.

And it's all okay.

Do you understand?

I see myself as awareness.

I don't see myself as this body-mind.

I don't have a local kind of attention towards myself.

I don't know focus towards myself,

How to say it.

I see myself like that.

Infinite.

Yeah.

I see myself as awareness.

I don't see that the awareness is a small thing inside this body's mind.

I don't see it like that.

My clear-cut recognition is that I am the awareness.

In I,

The awareness,

I can hear sounds from there.

I can see somebody far away there.

Yeah.

All these are in my awareness.

They are not outside my awareness.

They might be far away from this body,

But I am not this body.

So similarly,

If there is a person in this room,

The person is in my awareness.

This clarity is there.

Yeah.

So there is nothing like labels of this person being ignorant and this being a teacher.

Not at all.

I am simply watching what this body-mind is programmed to do and what that body-mind is programmed to do.

Both are equal for me.

There is nothing nearer or far away.

Both are in my awareness.

Both are me.

So it is me asking that question.

It is me answering that question.

There is no two for me.

I am asking the question.

I am answering it.

I am asking the question.

I am answering it.

I am simply seeing that I the consciousness have a beautiful play going on right now.

No point resisting the play.

Whatever it is,

Let it go on.

Whatever it is.

Yeah.

Even if there is drama in this play.

Drama is there.

Good.

There is pandemic in this play.

Okay.

Good.

Now you have to wear a mask only and go out.

Okay.

Good.

There is no problem in anything.

Everything is happening in me,

The awareness.

So this is who I am.

This is not who I am.

Is this clear?

That is also me.

Shailaja is also me.

Divya is also me.

Maheshwari is also me.

Prema is also me.

Satyan is also me.

Jasprit is also me.

Do you get it?

These are just labels given to something which is far away and there is a label given to this.

This is a label Ekta.

But all this is me.

Is this very clear?

So now if all this is me,

How does it matter if that there is suffering or there is tragedy or there is comedy or there is whatever relationship or finance or whatever is going on.

It's all fun.

Yes.

So this is one way to become free of suffering.

All is me.

You are free of suffering.

If this is difficult for you,

Then the other way seeing it that I am only this light.

I have got nothing to do with the pictures of light.

I am only this light.

So if I am only this light,

Then pictures don't matter.

They are light.

None of it is me.

Nothing is me.

The pictures are not me.

The pandemic is not me.

The suffering is not me.

Those simply label stories.

So either all is me or nothing is me.

Whichever works for you.

For me all is me works very well because even in dreams we do that.

No?

Has it ever happened to you?

In the dream only you make a mistake and you correct yourself?

No?

Give you an example.

In the dream,

I was giving a phone number to another dream character and I knew I was making a mistake in the phone number and then I woke up correcting myself.

That was the first realization.

Aha!

I am the one who is this dream subject and I am the one who is the dream object.

Both is me.

Questioner and answerer.

Both is me.

The dream is who I am.

The dream world is who I am.

The waking world is who I am.

Do you get it?

The darkness of deep sleep is who I am.

So the contents whatever they are doesn't matter.

All is me.

Okay?

Whichever works for you.

Whichever works for you.

Everybody is different.

So maybe nothing is me works.

That's fine too.