Listen To Your Listening - Weekly Energy Boost

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good evening,

Good afternoon,

Wherever you are,

And welcome to this week's Weekly Energy Boost.

My name is Ellie Sheva,

And I'm here this lovely morning,

Monday morning,

With David.

And we are talking about listening.

And as you listen to the very words,

Exit my mouth,

You may be thinking that it's not.

.

.

This is an episode you can skip,

Because you love listening.

You're a good listener.

You're an active listener.

You've read books and taken workshops,

And you could give your own episode about listening.

Don't hit the skip button yet,

Because this is not your average podcast on listening.

This is the opportunity we have this week.

And what the Kabbalists teach about the gift that we can unlock in this week is to be the best filterers,

To really be conscious connoisseurs,

Let's say,

Conscious consumers of what we hear and what we put out there.

Now we've given endless episodes,

We've had endless episodes about speaking and words and language,

And just last week we were talking about talking to God.

So instead of talking about talking,

We're talking about listening.

And every week we try to provide our listeners with the most powerful and practical tools to navigate the coming week.

And through that,

You can glean these nuggets of timeless wisdom.

It's not really the fact that it's an opportunity for this week just creates the platform for us,

But the lessons and the understanding are really applicable anytime,

Anyplace.

And so this week as we talk about why it's so difficult to,

Why words are such an Achilles heel for us,

Whether it is in the speaking or the listening,

Hopefully every one of you who are listening right now will walk away with that nugget that helps you identify another way in which you shoot yourself in the foot,

Probably every day of your life.

Well,

I think just a basic place to start is that we are the ones that determine what the universe sends to us and the flow of information that comes to us or doesn't come to us.

By the way,

That's such a difficult concept for people to grasp.

Why would I have asked for this?

Why would I want said chaotic situation?

How am I asking for it?

And people are making that comment from just the point,

From a very limited point of view,

Thinking that if I'm conscious of,

It's the asking that I'm conscious of that should determine what's happening in my life.

But as we've always said,

There's an unconscious asking that we're all doing,

Right?

That subconscious desire that competes with the desire that everybody might know about me,

Right?

So you may tell everyone you want to be a successful human being,

But deep down inside,

There's another desire that's competing with that initial desire,

Which is actually,

I do not want to be successful.

I do not want to be in a healthy relationship because,

I don't know,

Success breeds all these other negative traits that I saw my father have and he abused my mother,

So I don't want to be successful.

Or I don't want to be in a healthy relationship because I actually seen other healthy relationships and they're very boring.

I like the drama of someone who kind of likes me,

Kind of doesn't like me,

Slightly abusive,

And then I can always work to earn their love because that's exciting,

Right?

I need something to work for.

And what's the point of just having an amazing human being who's just great?

So obviously- What is the point?

What's the point of that?

Just comes in a beautiful package all ready to go.

Just wants me to be happy.

What's wrong with that?

He's already figured out his life,

Cares about me,

Doesn't have any insecurity or fears.

Very plain,

Very plain.

Yawn.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Give me some drama here,

Right?

So there's obviously,

No one will say that out loud,

But deep down inside,

These are the desires that they have that are competing.

Now what's powerful about that,

We've always talked about that,

What's powerful about that is based on those desires,

We are attracting certain messages.

So the creator is always giving us what,

Always sending the signal according to the desire.

And this is important for all of us to every moment that we can to hit a reset and say regardless of what I want or I think I want or stuff I don't even know about,

I am asking the creator to send me truly,

Truly,

Truly what's the best for me.

And I'm going to let go of my opinions and my logic because my opinions and my logic are totally limiting me.

Totally limiting me.

Because as soon as you have an opinion,

You shrink your vessel.

As soon as you have an opinion,

You shrink your vessel.

Why is that?

An opinion is a defined desire.

So give me an example of an opinion,

What would be an opinion someone might have?

Being in a relationship is bad.

Being in a relationship is bad,

Being monogamous is bad,

All men are bad,

All women,

People say this kind of stuff after they've been hurt or something,

You start to develop an opinion.

Maybe you looked at some data and you say well this is how it is.

And obviously the most successful people are the ones who are doing something opposite with the majority of people are doing with their opinions.

So once a majority of people have a certain opinion,

The trailblazers realize I should do the opposite of that which is an interesting concept because the visionaries,

Those trailblazers see how limited opinions can be especially when masses of people adopt that same opinion.

So we always want to be in a place where we're a blank canvas and we're giving space for the creator to just constantly give us the highest level of content,

Information,

Guidance and wisdom.

How do you do that?

Think about what kind of a person you are maybe in your work or amongst your friends.

Are you the kind of person where your boss,

Your colleagues or your friends feel they can't tell you everything?

They're very limited in what they can share with you.

Are you the kind of spouse that maybe your significant other feels they oh I can't say that to her or I can't say that to him because either they're going to explode or they're going to get sad or they're going to take it personally.

So what happens is we've branded ourselves as a person with a very small vessel and very limited in what I should be able to hear or receive.

And not only are we cutting people off from telling us messages,

We're also cutting the creator off because creator must listen to what our desires are.

You reminded me,

I'm like flabbergasted here because David just touched on something I was reading about just the other day that is written.

Rav Aschig who's the founder of the Kabbalah Center a hundred years ago,

He wrote different essays about different topics and in one of them in a book called Wisdom of Truth he talks about how lack of criticism and opposition is actually at the core of all advancement.

We grow through criticism and opposition.

And anyone who's not growing or anything in our life that is in a state of atrophy,

If it's a relationship,

If it's our own personal growth,

If we're stuck in our career,

It's an important and obviously it's connected to listening because if you're that kind of person that David was just talking about that's branded themselves as somebody who cannot be confronted,

Who cannot be told the whole picture,

Who cannot handle hearing the truth or the criticism or the feedback,

Basically what you're doing is you are stalemating yourself.

And what's interesting,

I had this conversation with one of our colleagues and I said,

I think I see a lot of people who really benefited in that sense,

Benefit is not the right word,

They think they've benefited from the whole work from home,

Isolated,

Insulated,

There's no buffer,

There's no cushion,

There is a buffer now,

There's a cushion between me and my coworkers whereas before we sat in the open plan office and we heard one another talking to clients and customers and now that feedback loop has been closed.

And I was saying in our office we have an open workspace where there's desks all over the room and you can hear other teachers talking and I love that because I learn so much when I'm not talking,

I'm not the one talking,

I can plug in and listen to these other amazing people teaching but also the opportunity it provides us with is actually to give each other criticism and feedback as well.

And there are people that you know you can't say that,

You can't do that with,

There's people that you know that they want it,

They welcome it,

They invite it,

They're probably talking at the top of their lungs so that everybody can hear them and bring it down to earth but that openness to receive is actually what Ravashlage says is a,

What's the word,

Benchmark for growth.

To be able to listen to the opposition and not label it as wrong,

Talking about opinions.

He goes into a whole discussion about right and wrong,

Right and wrong isn't opposition,

Opposition is being open to a different thought,

A different perspective,

A different solution and the truth is even in what he says when it comes to the realm of thought,

Any kind of innovation,

Any kind of growth,

Any kind of,

It's funny because I'm thinking even in terms of medicine and technology,

You have to be open to hear somebody else's perspective and through the collaboration of multiple perspectives,

You might come to a new innovation,

A new strategy,

An approach that maybe we didn't see before but when it comes to my own personal life,

Don't tell me what to do or don't,

I'm doing my best.

You can do your best and still be open to hear other ways of doing it and that to me,

Listening,

I listen to a lot of other people who speak in a similar way to what we do and I'm always looking for new ways to say things,

New ways to present things,

New,

I want to hear,

If I'm giving a class about,

I don't know,

Sharing,

I want to hear what are people saying these days about sharing,

About generosity,

About kindness,

About giving,

I don't just want to be in my cave rehashing the same,

Yes,

The wisdom is ancient but it's got to be practical and relevant.

The question is how,

How,

I think everybody will say they want that,

How do I make sure that the information flows to me so I'm not wasting my time,

I'm not wasting my time doing a habit or behavior that's going to suck hours and days and months and years from my life,

Something that's going to take me to a bad place.

If we could actually hear all the messages immediately,

This is actually the most merciful way to auto-correct our path as opposed to what most people do which is sometimes they give away years and years of their lives to just learn the same lesson they could have learned if they could hear it.

Now there are people who may come and we may hear,

We may hear people telling us what to do but sometimes we still need to put our hand,

We need to touch the fire and see like if it's really hot.

And so it's not about,

It's not even about people coming to tell us what we need to do,

It's about having a profound,

Having a profound realization once somebody does say something.

Well don't you think it starts with intention?

Like you said you have a desire to,

You say in the morning the universe,

God,

Creator,

Light,

Please send me a message about X.

I think that that's the starting point.

As you were talking I was reminded,

You and I,

We were together with a bunch of other people.

Saturday,

Remember I had to go on,

I don't use technology on Saturday which is one of the best ways to kind of just detox.

So I wasn't driving and I had to walk probably about three miles,

No actually five miles,

Was it five mile walk there and back?

Something like that.

It's at least four.

It was at least four,

Yeah.

And I had nothing to do and I was like oh I have to go to this thing where Elisheva was at and I had to walk.

And I said alright this is going to be about an hour and 20 minutes of walking and no phone,

No nothing,

No music.

What do you have to do besides talk to the creator?

And I said well this is a very powerful time for me to do that.

So as I was walking,

I was just talking with the creator.

So if you drove through Beverly Hills on Saturday and you saw a guy walking and talking to himself,

That was David Gamm.

And I always wonder if people see me doing that,

What are they going to think?

As long as you're not moving your hands and making gestures.

I was moving my hands.

It's funny you say it.

I was walking and moving my hands because I was trying to be intense about what I was saying.

Anyways,

I was asking for – I was asking just – because I didn't know what specifically to ask for so I was just asking for the general I want to delete my current operating system and I would like to know what the higher operating system is.

I want to do the update.

I'm forcing an update into my spiritual operating system.

And I can tell you after that hour,

Imagine just saying the same thing over and over again for an hour.

I felt something very divine,

Very magical and it stayed with me that night and the next day.

And the point was that I was literally telling the creator I want to hear,

I want to see,

I want to experience,

I want this to move faster.

Just kind of letting go of old belief systems and inviting new ones in.

That's probably the most powerful way I know how to do it and there's no shortcut here really.

But it is having those conversations with the universal force out loud by the way.

It's important that you do it out loud in order to receive this unlimited wisdom that will come to you without blockage.

I'm thinking about people who have – don't get distracted because you're going to be on the spot in a second.

You don't get to take a break now.

The work that we do with people,

The main work that we do with individuals is we try to help them get to the core of their – if they're open to it of course – the core of their work in this world,

Their spiritual work.

What do they need to transform?

What do they need to elevate,

To grow?

And one thing I see come up for a lot of people,

David,

And I know I want to hear what you have to say about this,

Is that a lot of people have a fear or a worry about being misunderstood.

And they have a life that supports that they are misunderstood.

People don't understand me.

Even if I'm going to say what I think,

They're not going to – they don't know,

They don't realize,

They don't – and the reason I'm bringing it up is because we're talking this week about listening and how the universe really is set up,

As David mentioned in the beginning of this episode,

To give us exactly what we need.

And that's not only in the prayers that we make with our mouth,

That's really in our behaviors.

If we are growing in our impatience with our loved ones,

We are going to attract situations where we could be impatient and then be able to pause and reflect and say,

Okay,

I could be worse – I could be more impatient right now,

But I know that this is something I need to work on and I'm going to step into being more patient.

But in the case where somebody communicates and feels that their communication isn't received,

How do you spin that?

What exactly?

Well,

What we learn is that if that's your tikkun,

Being misunderstood or feeling misunderstood,

So the actors and actresses in your movie are going to behave in a way that supports that.

So you're going to express something and they're going to say,

Well,

What I heard you say was blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Which is the opposite of what you actually said.

Or sometimes it happens as a Pisces,

I know that I'm guilty of this,

Where I say it's fine,

But I don't mean it's fine,

Right?

That the words and the energy are not aligned.

And especially where somebody is feeling misunderstood or has lived a life feeling misunderstood,

They're actually coming – now I'm giving away the punchline,

I thought this is what you would say – that I'm basically telling you with my energy to misconstrue what I'm saying,

To project onto me something that I don't mean,

Because I'm already waiting for that to happen.

I know that when I'm going to open my mouth,

I'm going to be vulnerable and you are going to misunderstand me.

Well,

One of the reasons why if somebody feels that they're constantly misunderstood is because they think it's their words that are communicating what they're feeling.

But it's actually – imagine the last 24 hours,

What your actions,

What your thoughts,

Words and actions were,

Even before you talk to this new person.

That created forces,

Like angels,

That are bottles of energy.

And so then when you do actually talk with this person and you might say 10 words,

What they actually hear are what the last 24 hours were.

So a lot of times we act one way in front of one person and a different way in front of another person and we're not authentic.

The person on the inside is not matching the person on the outside or maybe you are matching but you're someone different to somebody else all the time based on what's convenient for you.

So the reason why people are misunderstanding you and not connecting to what you're saying is because they're not listening to what you're saying at that moment.

They're listening to all you've done in the last day or days or weeks.

And so like children are most sensitive to this,

Right?

So children are feeling your energy,

Feeling what you've – not just what you're saying to them.

They're feeling what you're doing all day and what you've done.

And so they respond to that collective homogenous bundle of energy.

And that's where the miscommunication can come in.

And this is why the capitalists say you should talk as less as possible because people who talk a lot are then just prone to make more mistakes and use words that are wasteful and then create negative forces.

So then the mouth becomes less effective.

If you feel like you're someone who constantly misunderstands people,

Right?

You may be on the other side of the conversation.

Why do people misunderstand also?

I was thinking about something else while you were talking.

Is because while you're listening to the other person and now you can understand the challenge that I go through every week on the Weekly Energy Boost while I'm listening to David but I'm also thinking about what I'm going to say afterwards,

That's okay for a podcast because we're not actually having a meaningful – okay,

It's a very meaningful conversation but we're not really talking to each other.

We're talking to you in front of – talking to each other in front of you.

If you are already thinking about what you are going to say next,

You are not listening and that's perhaps the number two reason,

David gave the number one reason that your energy actually comes before you when you have a conversation and already leaves an impression on the individual that you're going to talk to.

It's almost like footsteps in the sand that you're just walking through once you actually – the words start to come out of your mouth.

What I'm talking about is another version of not being present when you're – David's listening to me right now but he's also thinking and when she's done talking,

I'm going to talk about that person that came to me that told me about blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

So at a certain point,

He stops listening and then he comes back into the conversation.

He's missed 30 seconds.

It's not an accusation.

It's simple science and the 30 seconds that he missed while he was thinking about what he's going to say next when he puts the first 30 seconds and the third 30 seconds with the middle 30 seconds missing,

He's misunderstanding me or maybe he already – we've been doing this long enough that we can fill in the gaps for each other so we don't misunderstand.

But when you're having an important conversation with somebody or even a not important conversation and you are busy building your case while the other person is talking,

You're preparing your rebuttal before the other person has finished talking,

You're actually setting yourself up to misunderstand,

To misconstrue,

To judge,

To accuse and in the end of the day,

The reason that doesn't work energetically,

It's really actually quite interesting is that Kabbalah talks about light and vessel a lot.

So when I'm talking and you're listening,

I'm the light so to speak.

I'm the cause and you're the effect.

You're the vessel.

So if you're the one who's talking and I'm talking to you in my head,

We're both trying to be the light in that moment and there's no circuitry.

It's like a light bulb.

There's got to be a positive pull and a negative pull for the electricity to flow,

For the circuitry to happen between us.

So what we're doing and for the people who get misunderstood,

Pay attention to this.

If the other person is talking and you're fighting with them in your head or you're saying to yourself,

Here we go again,

They didn't hear what I said,

They're judging me,

You're both trying to shove energy into a vacuum.

There's no space there for you to give while they're giving and being aware of the give and take or the circuitry of energy between you and any other person,

Right?

What is the hardest thing to do when you're defensive,

For example,

When somebody is criticizing you or giving you feedback and you're defensive in your head,

You are literally not letting it in.

You are literally misconstruing their words in the moment.

And so we want to be,

We want to pay super,

Be hyper vigilant this week about how we're taking messages in,

What messages we are opening ourselves to,

What messages we are blocking ourselves from hearing.

And I think more than anything,

Paying attention to that inner dialogue and being very cautious about how we show up when we're in conversations,

Whether we're in a group or one-on-one or even listening to a recording of something,

How are we convoluted the message with everything else that is swimming around in our minds?

You know,

I'll close it with this analogy that will help people kind of visualize it and taste it in their mouth.

I was looking at this water bottle I have here,

I have this water bottle,

This blue Yeti water bottle.

Not a paid promotion.

Not a paid promotion.

We don't do those here.

And I remember one time I was warming up some soup and so I put it in one of these like water bottles.

We have like a ton of them at home.

And then my wife comes and said,

What are you doing?

I said,

I'm just warming up some soup,

Putting it in this bottle.

She's like,

Do you realize now that whenever I drink water from that water bottle,

I'm going to taste this butternut squash soup for the rest of my life.

So now I can never actually connect with the water.

I'm having butternut,

Garlic flavored water.

Tinge of butternut squash.

A little tinge.

And why this analogy is so powerful is when,

You see where I'm going with this,

Right?

Absolutely.

Right?

We have to keep the vessel pure and clean.

And when we're listening to someone and we have a layer of butternut squash soup kind of like in our consciousness,

It doesn't matter what they say.

It's just going to always taste the same to you.

And so that's the limitation.

You're never going to actually see and feel and taste the true quality of what people are saying unless you've cleaned yourself out fully.

Unfortunately,

Like the water bottle,

It takes hundreds of washes before it can go back to what it once was,

Which was tasteless.

So how do you do that?

Don't just throw that out to people.

How do you make sure that you're not convoluting the water?

Well,

Number one,

I think just by people hearing what we're talking about today,

They realize the need to wash.

People aren't even washing the water bottles.

That's the point.

They're having soup and then pouring water in it.

So there's like particles of soup in the water.

If I can make it disgusting.

So now we're saying,

Well,

What I desire truly as much as possible is the cleaner and cleaner and cleaner vessel so that the messages that come through are pure.

And to your point,

The way we clean our vessel is just the desire to want to hear the messages more clearly.

That desire,

Me wanting to start over,

Me wanting to reset my system,

Me wanting not to close myself off from what people have to say or what the universe has to say is very important.

It's very important.

Otherwise you're just going to fall behind and learn lessons in ways that just don't have as much mercy.

So that's hard.

It's hard for those of us that maybe have those conflicting desires of I want to be successful,

But I don't want to work too hard.

I want to be open,

But I also don't want to be offended.

Those are two very conflicting desires.

And hopefully with everything that we talked about today,

The openness that we've created and that desire to hear the pure message,

To be the pure container,

Not the butternut squash garlic container will inspire everybody.

If you're listening now,

We'd love you to pause and rate and review and share with everyone,

Share the episode even.

Every time we find ourselves in the hands of a new listener,

We're flipping,

You're flipping on the light for having shared it with them.

And we appreciate that immensely.

And also,

And we'll see you next week on the Weekly Energy Boost.