How To Find The Right Life Coach

Welcome to Life,

Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hey everybody,

Welcome to the show.

So today we are talking about something I may know a little bit about.

That's life coaching.

So I better know a little bit.

So yeah,

We're just gonna kind of discuss life coaching.

Why you might need one,

What to look for in one,

Stuff like that.

You know,

Just stuff like that.

So I mean,

Life coaching,

I think there's so many different ways to describe it.

I think one of them is really,

It's taking the Einstein quote,

You know,

We can't fix a problem with the consciousness that created it.

And the life coach should be the other consciousness.

Because if you're having,

Most of us have issues in our lives.

Okay,

Everyone has issues in their lives.

And it's not because we're not trying,

It's because we're,

You know,

With our consciousness,

With our perspectives,

With the things we've learned and the way we're looking at things,

We kind of.

.

.

We can't know everything about everything.

So we kind of get pigeonholed sometimes into a place where we're not sure how to transcend the block we're at or how to get around it or.

.

.

Because our thinking got us there.

Our best thinking got us kind of at a place where we're not sure how to move forward through.

So bringing in another consciousness that can look at it without all the emotion around it and give us,

Especially somebody that's trained and that can look at it from healthy perspectives,

You know,

That can give us some guidance as to how to move forward,

How to get past that block,

What's at the core of that block,

Stuff like that.

Right,

Ben?

Hi,

Beth.

Hey,

Welcome everybody.

Ben's here.

I didn't even introduce him.

Hi,

Ben.

It's fine.

So I think one of the big things,

I think,

That I thought.

.

.

The first time that I ever heard about life coaches was maybe 10 years ago,

A little more than that.

And my friend's girlfriend at the time had gotten one and she was also a personal trainer and she was a life coach and we ragged on it completely.

I had had a therapist as a child and I was like,

Why wouldn't you just go see a therapist and whatever,

Whatever.

And once I met you,

That attitude changed for all that stuff.

But the thing that I think the initial reaction to a life coach somebody might have is like,

You know,

Glenn and others in this field are not omnipotent.

They're not perfect.

They're not like the people living the perfect life who necessarily have all of the answers.

But think of it in terms of this,

Tom Brady has a quarterback coach.

Right.

Yeah.

That quarterback,

Tiger Woods has a coach that works on him with his swing.

Ted Williams had a hitting coach.

I don't mean to specifically be talking about Boston sports stars,

But all of the greatest athletes in the greatest positions have a coach and the coach isn't necessarily.

.

.

Tom Brady's quarterback coach isn't like Joe Montana,

You know,

It's not the.

.

.

But the importance of it is having somebody who knows what they're looking for and who knows how to help you and why to talk to and to go,

Hey,

I did this.

Like,

What do you think about that?

You know,

Like that outside perspective is so huge.

And me and my friends talk about this all the time.

Like,

Sometimes it's literally just talking about a problem that you,

You know,

Don't want to talk about and or this anger that you have about something and you talk it out and the life coach just goes,

What?

And as soon as you say it,

You go,

Oh man.

Yeah.

You know what?

I get it.

The more that you work,

Like the more that I've worked with you as a life coach,

The more by the time I'm done saying what I'm saying,

I already feel better.

Right.

And then you help me implement,

You know,

Ways to fix it or to go past it or to just go,

Everything's fine,

Ben.

Yeah.

And that's,

You know,

That's a good point too.

There's so many,

I think sometimes it's difficult to explain because there's so many different aspects.

And I've worked with a life coach and I've experienced them on many different levels as well.

So it's like,

I mean,

Sometimes it's just simply when you're thinking about stuff,

That voice in your head,

You can make crazy stuff sound completely reasonable when it's in your head.

And when it comes out your mouth,

All of a sudden you're like,

Wait a minute,

That didn't even make any sense.

Why was I thinking that was okay in my head?

You know,

So sometimes it's just that using somebody as a sounding board.

And as soon as it comes out,

It's like,

Holy crap,

You see the error right there.

And then sometimes it's you're thinking it's,

You're thinking it and you're going,

No,

I think I know how to handle this.

I think this is the right thing to do.

And perhaps you've even been doing it for a little while,

But it hasn't really bore any fruit yet.

And it's to talk it out and to have the life coach go,

Yes,

You're looking at it clearly and you're heading in the right direction.

Keep going.

And just that confirmation that you're doing the right thing.

When we're doing things,

It's the energy behind it.

And if you're second guessing yourself the whole time,

It's difficult to put 100% of your energy behind something.

But if you've got that confirmation and you know you're heading in the right direction,

Because there's somebody that knows you,

That only wants the best for you to happen,

And they're supporting you in every way,

And you trust their opinions and you trust them,

Then having that confirmation can give you the push that you need to really move forward without second guessing yourself and kind of half-assing it.

So,

I mean,

Those are ways that having a life coach can help you when kind of,

For lack of a better way of phrasing it,

Life coach didn't even do anything.

Those are ways that a life coach can help you when a life coach doesn't even really give you advice.

But,

And of course,

Life coaches work very differently.

It's the wild,

Wild west out there,

Man.

There are people who paid $50 online and now they're a life coach.

So that's why with people I work with,

People are interested in working with me.

As often as I can,

I try to give them a free session or at least some free time just to try me.

And this is also why I like putting up a podcast.

Because you can get a good idea about how I phrase things,

How I look at things.

If you connect with me by the podcast,

By the video podcast,

You can get a lot of that.

And that's really important when choosing a life coach.

It's the connection.

Not everybody likes somebody cracking jokes like I do.

And not everybody likes the straightforward approaches I have.

I crack a lot of jokes,

But I don't beat around the bush either.

If there's some truth,

I'm going to hit you with it right between the eyes.

Because that's what induces the quickest,

Most effective change.

And that's what I like to see.

I love change,

Man.

And my whole world spun around on a dime in 3 months.

So the more massive change that we can have,

The quicker.

I love that stuff.

Not everybody works like that.

So sometimes it's a process.

So we have to honor the person's process.

Which is another thing I tell people.

I don't want to teach somebody my way of doing things.

What I'm doing is trying to help you on your path.

Because the only thing I know about my path is that it's not yours.

It's not anybody else's.

It's mine.

So if I teach you my path,

Then the only thing I know for sure is that somewhere down the road,

You're going to wake up and realize that this isn't your path.

And you're going to go,

Oh crap.

And then you're going to start looking for yours.

And I don't want that to happen.

So what I need to do is just stay focused on helping you find your path.

Holy.

.

.

I wasn't even.

.

.

I wasn't exactly sure what we're going to talk about in this episode.

And it's just like.

.

.

Flowing.

Yeah.

So I think that.

.

.

Personally,

I don't think that I've ever met anybody who doesn't.

.

.

Who couldn't use a life coach.

Yeah.

And I agree with that.

I mean,

That's why I used one for so many years.

It's.

.

.

I mean,

Like,

We have emotion around our personal issues.

I have emotion around my business.

It's not as strong as the emotion around my son.

But it's there.

And sometimes it's difficult getting clarity.

So getting an outside perspective and bouncing things off of people is,

To me.

.

.

I mean,

Even being awake and all the work I did on myself and.

.

.

Like everything that I had gone through,

When I get a life coach,

I saw myself making strides in six months.

That would have taken me three years in the past.

That did take me three years in the past.

So it really.

.

.

I think we're all stumbling in the right direction.

But a life coach can grab your hand and help you walk,

Or maybe even run in the right direction instead of stumble.

That's all.

We're all heading in the right direction.

It's just.

.

.

Boy,

It's a hell of a lot easier ride when you've got somebody there to take you with.

Yeah.

And what you said about getting to know the person because everybody has different approaches and everybody's different.

There are enough people out there helping that.

.

.

There's no lack of choice here.

And there's no lack of.

.

.

The amount of people that you can find just in your local area,

Or if you can't,

There's tons of people who,

Like Glenn,

Work via Skype and phone and other things.

You can really find somebody that will help you and that you gel with and that you like.

And it's kind of funny that you would think,

Like,

Oh,

Why are they.

.

.

Obviously,

At the end of every episode,

I say,

Hey,

If you want Glenn to help you,

Go to glennambros.

Com and check him out.

So why would we be saying right now,

Hey,

Glenn might not be the right guy for you,

But there's somebody out there who would be a good fit for you as a life coach.

And that's just the whole thing of.

.

.

Glenn,

What is the word I'm looking for?

The excess,

There's plenty of.

.

.

An abundance?

An abundance.

Yeah.

There's an abundance of resources and there's more than enough.

.

.

Everybody could benefit from a life coach,

I should say.

I personally think that everybody could benefit from a life coach and I think that there's plenty to find and there's so many people on Insight Timer that you're probably into this podcast on.

Yeah,

And they have different styles of teaching and it's like.

.

.

When I'm talking to people,

Like sometimes people will ask me.

.

.

It's like an interview.

They'll be like,

Well,

Why should I hire you as life coach?

And usually I try explaining this type of stuff to them.

It's one of the reasons why I'm doing this episode.

I use myself as an example.

Like I'm not supposed to click with everybody.

That's why when there's negative comments on my podcast and stuff,

I don't take it personally.

I'm not supposed to click with everybody.

If you don't like the way I talk and the way I deliver things,

You shouldn't be listening to me.

You should be listening to somebody else that you actually click with.

Don't subject yourself to somebody that you don't enjoy listening to.

Because there are plenty of people out there.

And it's simple.

There's like over 7 billion people on the planet.

I can't life coach all of them.

It's just the workload is ginormous.

I couldn't do it.

So that means that there should be people.

.

.

Because I think we live in a perfect world where the synchronicities and we can all have what we want.

So if I'm incapable of life coaching 7 billion people,

Then that means that there must be other life coaches on this planet.

And they probably would click better with other people that don't click with me.

So that's.

.

.

Find what clicks with you.

Find who clicks with you.

I think that's the most important thing.

You need to feel comfortable.

You need to feel non-judged.

You need to feel like you can be yourself.

And their approach has to be right.

It's just really feeling comfortable.

You don't have to put that many labels on it.

Do you feel comfortable?

Do you feel relaxed?

Do you feel like you could actually hold a conversation with this person?

Well,

Then I would give it a shot.

And if you find out it's different,

Then maybe they're not the right one for you.

Or maybe their approach isn't right.

So I think that that's.

.

.

As far as personality-wise,

I think that's it.

Just find somebody that feels right to you and you feel like you're getting something out of what you're doing.

And I wanted to touch on a little bit more about at least how I life coach because I can't speak for all life coaching.

Right.

Yeah.

That's definitely what I wanted to talk about next was what do you do?

I know what you do,

But if you could explain a little bit about that and what a session is like and stuff.

Yeah.

And with my sessions,

There's very little structure.

It's not.

.

.

I did get an international certification.

I did go through a life coaching course.

And I learned some question asking and.

.

.

I learned some little tricks and stuff,

But I was already doing it unprofessionally before.

And what I do is,

I think two things.

I look underneath the details to the core of things,

Because I think that if we shift the core of things,

Then the details will shift.

Oftentimes,

People are talking about their relationships and they're like,

Oh my god.

He throws things and we argue over stupid things.

And let me tell you about what we discussed over dinner because that was ridiculous.

And then we got into an argument at my mom's house and let me tell you how that went.

And that's all the details.

It's not about like in that situation.

Really,

What I just described,

What the conversations were about,

For the most part,

Really hold no meaning.

The fact is,

You have a problem communicating with the person you're in a relationship with.

There's negativity there.

You need to learn how to communicate with a person like that.

You guys might need to set up healthy boundaries.

About what's reasonable and how you talk to each other.

And it's not about the details.

And that's where everybody gets caught up.

It's about what's underneath.

So underneath all that is,

Oh,

We argued about this,

That and the other thing.

And underneath that is lack of respect.

That's a core underneath that.

So if you work on respect and communication,

Then those things will shift.

And that's how I work.

It's get to the underneath stuff.

Don't learn how to.

.

.

I don't want to solve a problem over which dinner set to get for your wedding.

I don't care which dinner set you get.

And neither should you.

But if you can't hold a conversation to figure out which dinnerware to get set,

There's a communication issue that you need to figure out.

And you should do it before you get married.

So that's what I mean by going underneath and working with the core stuff.

And then also,

Because if you handle the core stuff,

Now all of a sudden,

You can figure out the dinner stuff.

You can figure out every other problem that comes along in your life because you figured out the core stuff.

And you can figure out the core issue when you shifted that.

And that's what I think the biggest difference is between having a life coach and like having a friend you can talk to.

Yeah.

That's true,

Man.

A friend who listens will really let you get bogged down in the details.

And then will address those details.

When you're ranting to a friend,

That friend will likely take your side,

Address the details of whatever the conversation is.

Of course your dinnerware set is better.

Because you're absolutely right.

Why would.

.

.

Oh man,

A pattern?

That's crazy.

Instead of going like.

.

.

And maybe the best you'll get is like,

Well,

You should probably talk and like it's not worth the argument.

But instead,

A life coach is somebody who you can rant to and do all of that stuff and feel comfortable just like you would a friend.

And then they're able to,

Because they're trained in this and they're compassionate and all of this stuff,

But they're able to go.

.

.

That's not.

.

.

Especially you.

You're the only one that I can speak for.

But that undercurrent of what's actually going on,

The core root of the problem,

That's what the issue is.

And there's so many times that you and I have had conversations before I was even working with you as a life coach,

Just when you were a personal trainer for me,

Where I would have a long conversation with you and I would get so into the minute details.

And you would just.

.

.

We're friends,

Obviously,

First and foremost.

So you would just laugh at me and say,

I don't need to know.

What are you talking.

.

.

This conversation was a half hour longer than it needed to be.

And because we're friends,

You were definitely comfortable just stopping me while I was a mid-sentence.

But.

.

.

Yeah.

And actually.

.

.

And really,

That's how I work.

People.

.

.

The stuff I do with clients,

If anybody else were to do it,

I always say this.

You'd probably be offended.

But I'm doing it out of love.

I'm doing it out of your best interest.

So the things that I do with clients,

People don't get offended when I do.

I do stuff like that all the time.

People start going down.

You're paying for my time.

I'm not going to sit there and listen to you whine for 45 minutes about specifics of stuff that isn't going to help you.

And all it's doing is,

As you whine about it,

It reinforces it in your head,

How right you are and how wrong they are.

And that's not what I want to do.

I want to empower you to change the situation for the better.

And that's what's important.

And so if somebody's going.

.

.

I try to be a little bit more relaxed than the beginning.

If somebody's going on and on and on,

It's like,

Okay,

Wait a minute.

I can help you here.

Well,

Yeah.

But you didn't.

.

.

I explained the appetizer in the dinner,

But we didn't get to the dessert yet.

Wait till you find out what he did during the dessert.

I'm like,

It doesn't matter.

I got it.

You guys had an unpleasant dinner.

Can we just address it now?

And we'll just get right into it.

Get into the solution.

We're so focused on being problem-based.

We need to be solution-based.

And that's what I have to offer people is,

Here's the situation you're in.

What can you do to get out of it?

And there are counselors and therapists and psychologists that do that as well.

So I never want to say,

All life coaches do this and other people don't.

No.

It depends on the person and what field they're in and what their training is and who they are as a person.

So who knows what does what.

But I think it's important to find somebody that can get you out of where you are into where you want to go.

If you've been talking.

.

.

Let's put it this way.

I saw somebody on TV that had a shopping addiction.

There was this guy that had a shopping addiction.

And he was talking about somebody he was seeing.

And I don't remember if it was a therapist,

A counselor or what.

But he said,

Oh my god,

I love this person in my life.

I've been seeing them for 20 years for this addiction.

And I was like,

Are you kidding me?

You've been seeing this person for 20 years for a shopping addiction that you still have.

He was telling.

.

.

He was talking about how he was acting on his addiction two weeks earlier.

That person is not good for you.

You should not be seeing somebody for 20 years for an issue and never transcend it.

So it's like,

It needs to be action-oriented.

It needs to be change-based.

It needs to be.

.

.

If you want a better life,

Go have a better life.

Do something to actually accomplish where you want to go.

So there.

I'm passionate about that part because I think that everybody deserves a happy,

Fulfilled life.

I think that that's what's happening in this world right now.

The awareness that we are supposed to be happy and fulfilled is awakening within us.

Every one of us.

Not every one of us.

A lot of people,

It's awakening.

And that's never happened on a grand scale before.

So I think that that's why life coaching is taking off because it can help you find that.

And that's that purpose.

I don't think we should be.

.

.

I think we can be happy and fulfilled 15 years from now.

Like,

Oh my god.

We got some issues.

Let's just get past them.

Let's get over them.

Let's transcend them.

Let's get you to where you're going.

And let's do it as quickly as possible so you can start enjoying this life.

So that's what I think.

And one more thing.

So the other thing I wanted to say,

Just because it keeps popping into my head,

It's like the way that I work,

And I know some people are going to identify with this and some people won't.

I get out of my own way.

As soon as I start talking,

As soon as I get on a call,

It's no longer about me and my life.

It's about the person that I'm with.

And I've been doing this for years.

And it's just something that I learned right in the beginning.

I disconnect from me.

And I connect to that person.

So I'm just focused on that person and what they're doing.

And I think I had a lot of training doing that from personal training all those years.

Because with personal training,

In my opinion,

If you're doing it right,

You need to lock on to that person consciously.

So I did that for many years in personal training.

So when I came to life coaching,

It was very easy for me to do that.

And the reason that I learned that is important is because I'm not teaching tools that I learned in a book.

I'm using examples that I've learned through life.

I use examples of.

But the information that's flowing and the way that I work is I believe that divine wisdom is guiding the conversation.

I don't think the information is coming from me.

Because I use examples sometimes,

Hypothetical examples that click with people and they're like,

Oh my god,

Why did you use that example?

I'm like,

I don't know.

I literally have never used that example before.

It just popped into my head when I was looking for one.

And they're like,

Well,

That is a reference to my childhood that there's no way you could have known.

So I see stuff like that all the time.

The coincidences.

The people say,

Oh,

I want to talk about this.

And then 15 minutes later,

We're talking about something completely different.

And that's exactly what they needed to hear.

All this stuff lets me know that it's not me doing it.

I just need to open,

Stay out of my own way.

And I tell people,

I don't.

.

.

The thing that I do well is when I'm working with people,

I get out of my own way.

And I just let the information flow through.

And it's me talking.

And I talk a lot.

And that's how the flow goes.

It keeps me in the flow.

And where the conversation goes,

It goes.

And people always get what they need out of it.

And I don't think that I'm that smart.

And I don't second guess it.

I just let it go.

So that's why I'm not sitting there going,

Oh,

Well,

You have this issue?

Well,

When somebody has this issue,

We do this,

This,

This,

And this.

When somebody has that,

No,

It's not like that.

I'll be working with one person.

I was working with somebody recently,

And I won't get into the specifics,

Of course.

But they asked me a question.

And I told them what was coming through me about that specific situation.

And it was the exact opposite of how I handled my own life.

And I was like,

Isn't that interesting?

You would think because of my experience,

I would say you should look at it this way.

But you shouldn't.

You should be looking at it this way.

Because that's what's right for you.

So I like it when things like that happen,

Because it lets me know that I'm not in control.

And the guidance of the conversation is coming from something that is a lot more intelligent than I am.

And I believe that to be divine wisdom.

So if I can get out of my own way and just allow the conversation to go where it needs to go,

That's the beauty of it.

That's how it works so well.

So it's not me implementing a strategy that I learned in school.

It's just flowing.

So if that clicks with you,

It sounds cool.

You want to try it,

Then try it.

If you're like,

Oh my God,

He's a nutball.

I can't work with this guy.

Maybe you shouldn't.

So this is,

Again,

If you're listening to this episode around the time when it comes out,

It's January and we just started a new year,

Which is a big time for people to try to make positive changes with New Year's resolutions and all of that stuff.

The last episode that we did was three steps to implement a change.

And I think that's a really good thing.

So I think that's a great way to implement a change.

And really,

This is a great companion piece because for me,

At least,

I think if you're trying to implement a change and you're trying to set a plan and you're trying to create a process to take action,

And then you're trying to make sure that you do everything out of self-love,

I think one of the best ways that you can do self-reach these goals is to get a coach.

Honestly,

I think that that's a great thing.

I was really excited to do this episode.

If you want to try Glenn,

I think that's awesome.

I highly recommend him.

He's done a lot of amazing stuff for me.

GlennAmbros.

Com.

And if you want to find somebody else that you think would click with you better,

There's a ton of people out there.

Right.

Right.

And that's it.

I used to tell people this when I was training too.

The biggest problem we have,

I think,

To living a different life is that we get caught up in the shoulds.

I used to tell people,

Like,

Do you know how many times people.

.

.

I talked to personal training with people and they go,

Well,

No,

I'm not going to hire a personal trainer because I should be able to do it on my own.

Well,

Yeah,

But you're not.

Yeah,

But I should be able to.

I should be able to motivate myself.

I should be able to.

I should.

.

.

Yeah,

But you're not.

Don't sit on the couch and tell yourself what you should or shouldn't be doing.

I mean,

If you want to make a run at it and try to do it yourself,

Then by all means,

Go ahead,

Try.

But if you don't succeed,

Then get the help you need.

And I believe that to be true in any area.

Personal training,

Business,

Life coaching.

And I mean,

That's.

.

.

What's cool too is like with the life coaching that I do,

I work with people that are CEOs and very large.

.

.

In large businesses that I'm not in their business world,

But the principles that I teach work in every area of life all the time,

Always.

Otherwise,

They wouldn't be spiritual principles.

And that's what I teach.

I base everything off the bottom core spiritual principles.

So they work in business,

They work in relationships,

They work in sports,

They work in every area of life,

Because they're based in the core truth.

Which is cool.

I love implementing it into different areas.

But don't sit there and I should be able to do it on my own.

Either you are doing it on your own or you're not.

And if you want to try doing it on your own,

Then go try doing it on your own.

But if you don't,

And it doesn't work,

Then get the help you need instead of wasting another year or two years or five years going,

Well,

Yeah,

But I should be able to do it on my own.

And I don't even understand why we think that anyway.

We have this innate desire for connection and community.

Why?

Because we're not supposed to be doing it on our own.

We're supposed to be connecting with one another.

We're supposed to be leaning on each other's strengths and we're supposed to be doing this as a unit.

So I don't think the argument holds any water there either.

So there.

All right,

Man.

Well,

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That's it.

That's it.

So reach out and if you have any questions,

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Reach out if you have any questions,

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