Is Self-Knowledge Enough? - L,L,&L W/ Glenn Ambrose

Welcome to Life Lessons and Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello,

Hello,

Welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome.

So,

I'm going to dive right in.

I think as I usually do.

Self-knowledge.

So,

This is actually a big topic.

I'm not sure how,

Like if other people perceive it as a big topic,

But I truly believe it is.

As a matter of fact,

I just went on my podcast,

Which there's 365 now.

A whole year's worth.

And I searched to see if I had done one on this topic before,

Because it's come up just so many times over the years.

The first time I ever heard of it was in recovery at the beginning of my journey,

And it was said that I was taught in recovery that self-knowledge just doesn't work.

It's not going to change anything,

Which over the years I've found that to be true.

Self-knowledge is helpful.

Sometimes self-knowledge can trigger us to want to change things,

To see things in ourselves that we don't want to continue doing and choose to do something different.

So it can be a useful tool,

But more than that,

I think it can be used as a stepping stone to get us where we're going.

At times,

But it's actually not necessary.

We don't actually have to really,

The way most of us perceive this,

We don't necessarily need to have self-knowledge in order to transcend our problems,

To transcend our issues,

To find happiness,

To expand our consciousness.

We don't necessarily need to have self-knowledge to do that because self-knowledge is of the intellect.

It's of the brain.

That's not what we use to transcend a lot of things.

The brain is a very helpful tool on earthly issues.

So sometimes we could solve certain issues through self-knowledge,

Through the intellect.

But like I said,

I mean,

It's,

I mean,

My belief is that spiritual law,

The dynamics of spirituality run the universe.

It runs everything.

It is the foundational principles and laws of the entire universe.

There's nothing that it doesn't apply to.

So therefore if we go straight into that,

Then we don't really need self-knowledge.

We don't have to sit there and go,

Oh,

Okay.

Well,

My,

My,

My teacher was mean to me when I was a kid and told me I was stupid and I actually believed that.

So that's not good.

So therefore I need to change the belief system that I'm stupid because I believed what a teacher said 40 years ago.

You don't,

You don't need to go through that process.

Okay.

As a matter of fact,

Most of my spiritual releasing,

Like my,

My energetic releasing,

Sometimes it can be sadness,

Anger,

Just something I picked up somewhere,

Just negative energy that I'm releasing purging,

Allowing to leave most of the time in the last,

I don't know,

Maybe 10 years,

The majority of times that I'm,

I can feel energy releasing.

I have no idea what it's about.

I don't know.

I could be in the shower and start crying for no apparent reason.

Now,

If that happens,

I'm usually like,

What's this about?

Just because I'm curious.

Right.

And then generally I don't,

I tune into it and I just don't really get an answer.

I go,

Okay,

Well,

Whatever.

I'll just allow it to go because it's unpleasant energy that I don't want attached to me or in me anyway.

So I'm just going to let it go.

I do.

If,

If the knowledge of what that negative energy was attached to were important,

If the universe deemed it important,

Then it would tell me there would,

When I tune in and say,

Hey,

What's this about?

It would say,

Oh,

This was about,

Remember that time when,

You know,

You were going to court for custody with your son and this happened and it triggered this within you.

And that's a bunch of stuff in there and you need to work through that.

Oh,

Okay.

If it was something I needed to work through,

Then the information would come because why wouldn't it?

It's not like the universe isn't playing games.

If there's something I need,

That's going to help me work through something.

It gives it to me.

So,

So the fact that it doesn't give me information most of the time to me is yet another reason why I found that a lot of just self knowledge isn't necessary.

I've let go of things that I don't even know what I was letting go of.

It's just,

You know,

That I have no memories.

There's,

There's some things that have happened to me that,

Or I shouldn't say that I,

Cause I don't have the self knowledge.

I'm pretty sure that there was some things that happened to me at a young age because I felt pockets of energy that I literally don't remember,

You know,

And I've actually had that,

But I've been able to work through them anyway,

Because I can work through that pocket of energy by allowing it to go as opposed to doing it intellectually.

So we don't need to have specific knowledge of all our traumas to be able to work through them.

So,

You know,

This is a,

This is kind of a common mistake that I see in,

In I don't want to say psychology per se,

But,

But the,

The,

The scientific approach to things or the,

The psychological approach to problems or perhaps,

Perhaps it's the lack of understanding of psychological approaches that,

That is the actual problem.

I'll explain what I mean and you can decide what I see in where I,

The,

The place I see people getting stuck and suffering it,

In my opinion,

I'm going to say needlessly because,

You know,

Sometimes like sometimes we all suffer to push us towards something and we don't have it figured out yet.

And it's part of the journey and all that stuff.

So I get the,

You know,

I get all that stuff.

But when I say needless,

I mean that we seem to stay stuck when we don't have to.

And I believe that this is an aspect of,

Like I said,

A misunderstanding of the,

Of the psychological approach that,

You know,

I'm not a psychologist.

So this is why I'm,

You know,

Trying to be cautious with my wording.

I'm,

I'm not trying to offend psychology or psychologists.

It's just a psychological approach to,

To things.

And,

And like I said,

It might not even be psychology's problem.

Maybe it's the,

The mass understanding of psychology,

Which is of course limited because we're not all psychologists.

Right.

What I mean by this is that a lot of times,

We get stuck needlessly because we don't take step two,

I'll call it.

So like we found things out,

Like as a general rule,

People are aware that through psychology and mass media and things like this,

Well,

You shouldn't blame your parents for issues when you were young.

Oh,

Okay,

Good.

That's helpful.

Thank you.

You,

You know,

If,

If something angers you,

You shouldn't stuff it or,

Or deny it.

Or if you're sad about something,

Any,

Any,

Any negative emotion,

You shouldn't deny it.

Good,

Good point.

Thank you.

You know,

Things like this,

But the problem with that is we stop there.

We,

It's just,

And,

And there is no step two,

Which in my opinion,

Causes needless suffering because if you don't know what step two is,

If you don't know what to do with what's transpiring inside of you,

Then you're going to stay stuck.

So if you go,

Okay,

Well,

I shouldn't blame my parents.

They did the best they could when I was young.

Okay.

Yeah,

True.

But if you,

If you have all this trapped energy and anger and resentment towards your parents,

And then you go,

See,

This is a self-knowledge.

I shouldn't blame my parents.

They were just doing the best that they could.

And you put that in your brain,

Nothing happens.

Like the energy from all those experiences when you were young does not automatically release.

You just walk around stuffing it and carrying it with you.

And every time it comes up,

You go,

I shouldn't be mad.

They were just doing the best that they can,

But you don't truly understand it.

You don't truly believe it.

You don't actually implement it in some of these areas.

You don't,

You know,

Some of the ways that,

That you can do better.

You can,

You know,

Talk things out and find healthier ways to look at them.

See,

This is,

You need to change the way you process things in some way,

Shape,

Or form.

And right now,

The solutions I'm giving you are a little bit,

You know,

You need to change the way you process things in some way,

Shape,

Or form.

And right now,

The solutions I'm giving you are a little bit,

I don't,

They're a little bit on an intellectual level.

They're,

These are tools to,

You don't necessarily even need the tools that I'm giving you.

Like they're,

They're spiritual ways of dealing with it.

Okay.

This is what I mean by that.

But I want to give you guys some,

Some earthly tools to,

To,

So I just,

I just want to give you guys some earthly tools to,

To,

To,

To,

To,

To,

So I just don't leave you guys hanging there,

You know?

So,

So like if you,

If something angers you and you go,

Oh,

I have the right to feel angry that,

That,

You know,

Somebody did something to me and,

And I felt anger.

So that's,

That's natural and it's normal.

Yes,

Yes,

You're right.

It is natural and it's normal.

What isn't natural and normal is for you to carry that around for the rest of your life.

That's,

That's called staying stuck.

That's called stuffing your emotions.

Those emotions are going to come out.

So just because you have the right to be angry,

Or I,

I don't even like saying that term as you people know,

By listening to my other podcast,

It's not that you have the right to be angry.

It's just that when the thing happened,

It's a natural response for anger to come up in certain situations,

Right?

There are certain things that when they happen to somebody,

90% of the people are going to get angry.

So it's in the initial response of anger is natural.

Yes.

Okay.

That's fine.

But that doesn't mean that you just stay angry for the rest of your life.

That doesn't serve you.

You're walking around carrying that anger,

That resentment,

That's like poison,

Like blocking your spiritual growth,

Causing controversy within you.

It's very,

Very unhealthy.

So there's no step two.

You have to reframe this.

So you're not a victim of it.

You need to work through the emotions.

You need to find another way to look at it.

That's helpful.

So you're not walking around carrying this stuff.

Okay.

So,

So this is like,

Like I see us stuck all the time in these areas and,

And we go,

But it's an example of self-knowledge,

Right?

We're going like,

Oh,

Well,

It's natural for things to be,

To anger me.

Yeah.

And then what,

Like,

What,

How do you deal with it after?

Like,

Or,

Or you just,

You see what I think what happens is we,

We,

We don't know what we're doing.

So we kind of get excited that we understand something.

See,

Self-knowledge makes us feel comfortable because it gives us the illusion of control.

It gives us the illusion that we know what's going on.

We understand.

Oh,

I understand.

So,

So what,

What is that?

So what you understand who cares that does it really?

If you're walking around with anger inside of you and resentment inside of you for 40 years,

Does it matter that you understand that you're walking through your life with anger inside of you for 40 years?

No,

It doesn't do anything.

Your experience carrying anger inside of you for 40 years does not change because you have self-knowledge that you're carrying anger inside of you.

Let him do a damn thing.

Right.

This is what I mean by self-knowledge doesn't do anything.

And I think,

You know,

The,

The,

The new age quote unquote,

I don't,

I don't even know what terms to use anymore.

Like half the terms are just,

They flip the,

The,

The meaning of the term to mean something negative when it used to mean something positive.

And then now it's,

It has a completely different meaning.

This is,

It's a very,

It's a very ingenious way.

Like any,

Anything that is basically implies anything good on a grand scale,

Like questioning things,

That's a good thing.

This is how we learn more.

And,

And,

You know,

We,

We,

We find out when people are taking advantage of us and,

You know,

Like large scale.

And so like questioning anything or awakening,

You know,

Being awake.

Anything.

They just,

They just demonize it.

Oh,

Being awake me and they make up things.

They go,

Oh,

Being awake means that you think you're better than other people and rules don't apply to you.

And what was something else?

They,

They say,

Oh,

You,

You,

You don't take responsibility for your life.

You just blame it on everybody else.

That's literally the opposite of being awake.

It's literally the opposite,

But somebody says that.

And a bunch of people that don't understand being awake go,

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Those awake people saying things that I don't understand.

And yeah,

That see,

They're bad.

They,

That's it.

They don't want to take responsibility for their lives and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Or,

You know,

Conspiracy theory,

Like conspiracy theory.

Now all of a sudden that means that you're crazy because you're questioning something.

What,

Where there's literally been conspiracies that you can,

That are documented,

That you can point to.

Don't question the science.

Oh,

You mean the science that has been literally proven to have,

They've lied to us.

They,

These company,

You know,

The pharmaceutical industry has paid out literally billions.

I think maybe even trillions of dollars in fines and penalties because of lying.

And then when you say,

Hey,

I wonder if they're lying.

People go,

Oh,

You're,

You're anti-vax.

You're a conspiracy theory theorist.

You're crazy.

It's like,

Why?

Because I said a group of people that have lied to us over and over and over and over and killed people and caused all kinds of diseases.

This is factual.

We have proof of it because I'm saying,

Hey,

They might be lying to us again.

Maybe I don't know,

But they might now all of a sudden I'm crazy.

And I don't believe in any theories of science or something.

The scientists aren't the ones that are deciding what the public hears.

The men in the boardroom are,

The scientists have non-disclosure agreements that they have to sign to work there.

So they don't rat out the people in the boardroom that are killing people.

But if you talk about this,

It's,

It's a,

You're,

You're crazy.

So,

You know,

This is part of what's going on in society.

It's like,

They just demonize things and,

And,

And give it a new meaning because why?

Because it's dangerous.

If people actually wake up and their eyes are open and they question things,

That is dangerous to the establishment that is making money off everybody and getting more power.

That's,

That's why they do it.

Right?

So I'm not even sure how I get off on that tangent.

You guys know that's one of my,

One of my big sticking points.

And it's not because I know anything.

Like,

I don't know what the hell's going on.

All I know is that there might be stuff going on and I like questioning it,

You know,

And then come up with things that I think might be going on and then I can make a decision whether I want to lean in that direction or I want to lean in the other direction.

And when I see,

When I see,

Um,

Agencies and,

And,

And companies that,

That have been proven factually over and over to lie,

I don't trust them.

I don't.

Why?

Well,

Because they lie over and over.

That's why.

Now I'm not saying that they're lying about every single thing.

What I'm saying is I don't know if they're lying or if they're not because sometimes very often they do,

You know,

We've all heard that cry wolf thing.

You can't trust somebody that lies on all the time,

But they've demonized it.

Now questioning ridiculous.

So,

But back to the,

Maybe,

Yeah,

Maybe you guys will know why I went to that off on that tangent,

Or maybe I just went off on it randomly,

Who knows,

But let me get back to the point.

It's just this,

It's this,

This,

Uh,

Self knowledge.

Um,

You know,

You can,

I know all kinds of people in recovery that have studied the big book,

Highly intelligent people,

And they can't get sober because self knowledge,

No matter how much they know about themselves,

It doesn't necessarily induce the inner change required their inner reorganization that's required to,

To actually experience recovery.

You know,

Um,

Addiction is,

Is,

Um,

Is not about the substance.

It's,

It's about being maladjusted to life and then using the substance to medicate ourselves.

So it's about becoming better adjusted to life so you can live happy and you don't need something to anesthetize you because of the pain that you're experiencing.

Right?

So that that's,

That's like,

It's more than self knowledge.

It's an inner reorganization.

How do you do that?

Well,

You do that through,

Through spiritual means,

Spiritual dynamics.

Awakenings that you can experience.

Now,

Sometimes those awakenings are sparked by self knowledge and sometimes they're not.

Sometimes they're just epiphanies.

This is how you know that you don't necessarily need self knowledge because people have epiphanies and awakenings all the time.

And it's not,

It's not because they learned something about themselves.

It's not because they learned something about themselves.

It's because they opened up to a new way of seeing something,

A new perspective.

And like I said,

Sometimes that is induced through self knowledge,

But oftentimes it's not.

And quite honestly,

The most profound shifts are usually not through self knowledge.

So like there's,

There's,

I did a podcast on this.

This is kind of three aspects of learning.

One of them is basically a version of self knowledge because it can be helpful.

I'm not saying that it can't be helpful.

I'm saying,

Is it enough?

And it's not.

So,

So there's self knowledge is basically an intellectual understanding.

And then there's a inner knowingness that is like a more of a body sensation.

It's conceptual.

It's like,

You just get it.

You can hear somebody say something 10 times and intellectually,

You understand what they're saying.

And if they were to ask you and said,

Do you,

Do you understand?

You'd be like,

Yes.

And you could even tell it back to them in your own words,

Because on an intellectual level,

You do understand it,

But that doesn't change anything.

So then,

You know,

The 11th time somebody says it,

All of a sudden you feel a sensation that's more in your body.

And you go,

Oh,

Oh,

Oh,

That's conceptual.

That's a,

Oh my God.

Like now I really get it.

Oh my God.

I mean,

I understood it.

Like I got it,

But now I really get it.

That's conceptual.

And then we have to live like that.

That's physical because we have a physical body.

We are vibrational.

We are energetic,

Vibrational beings.

So if we can know something and we can conceptually get something,

And sometimes that will spark a,

A,

A vibrational shift if it's deep enough,

Most often it doesn't.

So then,

And even if it does,

Like we have to live like that.

We have to like,

Let's say I'm going to give you guys a example.

Like,

Let's say you're walking around through life all the time and people say,

Hey,

It's going to be all right.

And you literally don't know what it means.

Like,

This is how I was when I was young.

People like,

It's going to be all right.

Like,

I,

I don't understand what you're talking about.

It's already not.

All right.

It's like,

We're literally sitting in a space and time and,

And history and location where things aren't all right.

And that's why I'm upset.

So I don't understand how you telling me that hypothetically someday at some point,

Maybe things might work out and that's supposed to make me feel better.

It doesn't,

It doesn't change this moment in time and location where things aren't okay.

Like,

So that's,

That's where I was when I was younger.

You know,

And then as I lived a little bit more,

I kind of started understanding what they meant intellectually is like,

Oh,

Well things change.

So I will be standing somewhere in the future where this won't be a problem.

Eh,

Okay.

I guess still doesn't really help me now,

But I get it.

I understand what they're saying intellectually.

And then all of a sudden,

You know,

I started having these realizations and these awakenings and then I really got it conceptually.

I was like,

Oh,

Like,

Oh,

Everything changes here.

And a lot of times problems work themselves out.

And even if they don't,

At some point I'm going to be beyond this and it's going to be peaceful.

And that,

That the fact that I,

I I'm very angry right now,

Isn't solving anything.

So what I could do is take my anger and just release that anger,

Find a different way to look at it.

So I'm not angry and then try to navigate whatever problem I'm dealing with from a calm place.

Oh,

And I actually got the feeling that that was possible.

Oh,

Okay.

That's conceptual.

Okay.

Now I,

Now let's say,

Um,

Like that's it.

And I stopped there.

And then every time I get upset,

I have the self,

The self knowledge.

I go,

Oh,

It,

You know,

It,

It's not going to be like this forever.

It's okay,

Glenn.

And then,

Uh,

The conceptual understanding of going,

Yeah,

You know,

Like this isn't going to last forever,

You know,

I don't allow,

I don't allow that energy to leave and I don't reframe it in a healthier way.

I don't go,

Well,

Um,

You know,

Maybe this person was having a bad day and that's why they yelled that.

And it's not nothing personal.

And I don't have to view it like that.

And I'm going to send them love.

Like if I don't go through that little process and do something,

That's actually a physical act.

Like taking the time to reframe something in your head or write out something or release energy.

Those are physical actions.

So if I don't do something about that too,

That's what really shifts my vibration.

And then I'm vibrating at a different level because I am not vibrating at one as,

As one that is carrying the anger.

Because I took physical action to release the anger and to reframe it so I don't keep creating more anger.

So that's,

That's a physical act and that actually changes my vibration.

Okay.

This is why self knowledge isn't enough because that's just like step one.

We're not doing anything.

And,

And what I just described was,

Um,

I didn't know I was going to do this,

But it's,

It's,

This is kind of like,

Um,

From a psychological perspective to some degree,

It's an,

Um,

It's a tool.

These are tools.

These are concepts that you can take and implement in your life and you can,

And you can receive progress from them.

Okay.

So,

Which is cool and all.

And I think when you see opportunities to,

To do that,

I think you should do that.

However,

I think it's also very important to understand that theoretically or spiritually,

It's not required.

Like you don't have to go through those three processes.

Some,

You can use those tools as stepping stones,

But like,

If you were,

This is hard because I don't know if you guys are noticing,

But like,

I just noticed right there that when I dive into the grand or spiritual stuff,

See,

Spirituality is bigger than our intellect.

And when you're talking about something that's bigger than our intellect,

Then it's difficult to find the right words to represent the concepts in which you're teaching,

Because there aren't words that can accurately describe it.

This is why,

You know,

The Buddhists say things that they aren't.

Well,

It's not this,

It's not that.

And in the Taoism,

They say,

You know,

It's,

It's,

If you can,

If you can say it,

That's not it.

Right.

Because our words minimize things into preconceived ideologies and,

And definitions that we've had.

So it's just not broad enough,

But,

But welcome to my world.

So,

So it's,

It's these epiphanies,

These shifts that we can have without the self,

Self knowledge.

You know,

When,

When I was having all my spiritual awakenings,

They were like in the beginning.

I've had them since too,

But,

But they,

They weren't like,

It was a mess,

Man.

I mean,

My body was literally shutting down.

I was starting to physically die.

And my brain was having trouble like forming sentences and stuff.

It's like,

I started developing wet brain,

I believe from alcoholism.

And,

And it's,

And I couldn't take in information well,

Because I had been on a intense bender for two years.

So it's like,

I wasn't real capable of a lot of self knowledge.

And a lot of the things that were being said,

Like I went through the recovery program and I was read and taught the first,

What is it?

165 pages of the big book,

Something like that,

Where the program is circle this,

Underline this,

This is what this means.

This is what that means.

And it sounds like a bunch of knowledge.

And sure.

Did I gain some knowledge out of there?

Definitely.

Absolutely.

However,

That's not what was really happening.

Like that's not how I recovered.

The knowledge was helpful to some degree in my own journey.

It was even more helpful to help others later on.

But what was happening was when I was being exposed to this information and I couldn't,

I couldn't take in a lot of it.

I couldn't absorb it.

I couldn't mentally understand it.

I didn't even understand what conceptual understanding was.

Like,

But I was just present.

I was trying.

I was giving it my best.

And because of that,

Somehow,

Something,

My,

My consciousness just was taking this in and it was triggering all this ancient wisdom that I had always been carrying inside of me.

That I didn't even know about.

And all of a sudden it just started popping up into the surface of my consciousness.

And I was going,

Oh my God.

Like everything.

I was like,

I was living in bizarro world.

Like I just started understanding life and interactions in life and everything just differently.

I was just seeing things.

I was just seeing things like I'd be driving down the road and,

And something would happen where in the past I would get upset and it wouldn't upset me,

But my brain would notice what was transpiring and it would go,

Hey Glenn,

Did you just notice that that person just flipped you off and screamed at you and almost drove into your car and you didn't do anything wrong and you're not flipping out right now.

Like three months ago,

You would have been hanging out your window.

You probably would have chased them down and tried pulling them out of their car and beating them.

And now you're completely unaffected.

Did you,

Did you even notice that?

And I'm like,

Oh wow.

Oh my God.

That's true.

And then I'd start laughing because I'd be like,

Oh my.

So I'd be like,

Oh,

Why is that?

It's like,

Oh,

Before I thought that it was about me,

But now I know it has nothing to do with me.

It's,

It's like I didn't do any,

How could it have,

How could it possibly have anything to do with me when I didn't do anything?

It's they're living in their own fantasy world where I did something wrong to them.

And their anger that's inside of them is lashing out at me.

And I mean,

I would find it comical,

Not,

I wasn't laughing at them.

I was laughing at myself.

I was laughing at what I would have done before.

And my misunderstandings,

Like I call that spiritual laughter because there's no judgment.

I didn't judge myself.

I didn't go,

Oh Glenn,

You're such a moron.

You were such a moron before.

Or,

And I didn't use it to stroke my ego and say,

Oh Glenn,

You're so wonderful now.

No,

There was none of that.

There's none of that with spiritual laughter.

It's just this open hearted,

Freeing giggle at how silly we can be as humans.

And they used to happen to me all the time.

So it wasn't like,

You know,

Most of it,

Did I have moments of self knowledge?

Yeah.

Did I have moments of conceptual knowledge?

Yeah.

But most of it was just spontaneous awakenings.

You know,

And those were much more powerful and all encompassing.

So,

So this,

You know,

I'm going to try to kind of wrap it all up into a summation,

If you will.

So it's not that self knowledge is completely useless.

It's not unless we stop there.

If you just stop there,

Self knowledge is completely useless.

Like,

And that's another thing that I've experienced.

So I'll give the summation in a few minutes.

That's another thing I experienced in my journey is like,

You know,

Something I'm struggling with something,

Right?

So I dive in and I,

I gain all the self knowledge and I try to really get it conceptually.

And sometimes I think I did.

Sometimes I don't know if I did.

I try to implement actions into my life to change how I'm interacting with life.

And then I get carried away,

Especially,

You know,

When I was so,

When I was younger and single parent and starting my business,

I was so busy that it's like,

I,

I get lost in doing what I was doing.

Cause I had so much on my plate and then I'd wake up three months later and go,

Wait a minute.

Wasn't I working on something three months ago?

And I'm feeling the same frustration I was now I am now as I was three months ago.

Oh crap.

What happened?

I wasn't,

I didn't implement the change enough.

I had plenty of self awareness.

I even had some conceptual awareness,

But I didn't implement the change enough.

So therefore nothing changed in my life.

That's why implementation is the most important thing.

It's way more important than like,

You can not have self knowledge,

Not even necessarily know why you're doing what you're doing,

But just somebody tells you,

Hey,

This is a better way to interact with life.

And you're like,

Okay,

I'll do it just cause you say,

I,

I should do it because I trust you.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't understand it intellectually.

I don't understand it conceptually,

But I'm just going to do it because this person,

I decided to trust this person and I'm going to do whatever they say.

That's how I was when I first got sober too.

And I was doing that a lot.

It's like my sponsor would tell me to do stuff.

I'm like,

This doesn't make any sense,

But whatever,

If it doesn't work,

I'll,

You know,

I'll surely let him know why it didn't work and that it didn't work and that he was wrong and that I was right,

But I'm going to do it anyway because I promised that I would,

And this is part of the program.

So I wouldn't do it.

And then it turned out he was right.

And I was like,

Oh my God.

Yes.

So I didn't trust my own thinking for the first year,

Year and a half.

I would double check things with my sponsor and other people that I trusted before I took action.

And I started learning to trust my thinking over time,

But that's another way to do it because you just take the action,

Even though you don't understand it.

And it shifts you because that's what shifts your physical vibration.

That's what changes who you are.

By actually living differently and doing things differently.

So it's self-knowledge isn't even necessary there at all.

Right.

So,

So yeah,

So it's,

You know,

Like I said,

Self-knowledge can be used as a tool.

It can be used as a stepping stone,

But it's not going to change anything.

And,

Oh,

That's what I was talking about with now I see where I went off on that tangent.

Yeah.

The new age stuff.

It's like people been,

You know,

Now new age has been around for at least,

Well,

I don't know a long time,

But I mean,

Just like I've been,

I've been aware of it and working on it for over 21 years.

And it was long,

It was around long before that.

So let's just say the last 20 years to make it simple.

Many people have gotten on a spiritual path and it's more of a spiritual thing than a religious thing.

And it's,

It's more,

This is why I use the term new age and stuff and people have been doing it for 20 years.

Like I have,

And it's,

There's,

I haven't just been doing that,

But that's been part of my stuff.

And there's constant work.

There's con,

There's just another thing to work on.

Oh,

You know,

I worked through this.

Now I got to work through that.

Now I got to work through that.

Now I got to work through this.

Oh,

You know,

My,

My inner child has a wound from,

From when I was six,

I dealt with,

You know,

The other 32 wounds from when I was four,

Five,

Seven,

Eight,

12.

But I missed this one when I,

So I got to go back and deal with that.

It's like,

Come on,

Really?

Like I've,

I've never liked that stuff.

It's not that I haven't done any of the work.

I have done some of that work,

But it's just exhausting and it's endless.

It's endless.

So it's,

It's more of a shift within us that we need to do.

It's more of this awakening to who and what we truly are and understanding those big concepts.

You know,

This is why I started a group of existential group study because right now it's more important than ever.

I believe to get out of this pseudo spiritual,

Hovering,

Growing,

But not quite being happy,

Understanding stuff,

But not really changing our lives.

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Stuff like,

Like we got,

We need to transcend this.

We need to actually start understanding deeply that we are spiritual beings having a human experience,

Deeply understanding that conceptually and then walking through life as that,

Implementing that ideology in that reality into our earthly reality.

Otherwise we're,

We're just glued to this human experience without this broader spiritual understanding that actually saves us.

When we understand we're here to evolve and that's what triggers are,

They are the,

The protagonists,

If you will,

They are the,

The,

They are what incites the,

Um,

The,

The change.

It's,

It's what captures our interest to where we decide to do something differently.

No,

All the problems in the world are just polarized events to incite our own growth,

To get us to evolve consciously into a new level of being,

You know,

And if we don't even,

We,

If,

I mean,

Do we need to fully understand that?

No,

No,

We don't.

We could just pop open one day and yippee ki yay.

But like,

I don't know that many people that that happens to.

So we can use these stepping stones of learning stuff,

Not self-knowledge sometimes,

Sometimes taking action first,

Sometimes learning conceptually.

See,

That's the thing with the three levels of learning that we have intellectual,

Conceptual,

And physical.

It doesn't have to be in one order or another.

I mean,

Most often people learn from intellectual,

Which is basically self-knowledge and then conceptual.

They really get it deeper and then they implement that physically.

That is,

If there was one common series of order,

That's the most common order in which development occurs.

But by no means is it the best.

I just think that the only reason is,

Is because we depend on it so much.

It's probably the least effective because self-knowledge is the least powerful part of that conceptual and physical is much more powerful than intellectual.

So,

And it's cool when you open up either conceptually or physically first,

Like sometimes,

You know,

Like I said,

If somebody just says that you trust,

Well,

I'll take this action.

You go,

I don't really know what you're talking about,

But I ain't living like this anymore.

So you take the action.

And then all of a sudden your life changes for the better and you open up and you're like,

Oh my God.

Then all of a sudden you start getting this conceptual understanding because you just experienced it.

And then you get this intellectual understanding of what just transpired.

That's more profound and often a deeper change,

You know,

So my point here is don't depend on self-knowledge.

We're in one of the,

This is the reason that this is so dangerous.

I think,

I don't mean,

I mean dangerous in a way that it keeps us stuck is that we're in the information age.

Like there's just so much information out there.

There's so much it's,

It's just,

It's infinite.

Is it like,

If you want to spend your time learning,

About yourself,

You could do that for 200 years every day.

And you wouldn't even scratch the surface of the information that's out there.

So don't get hung up on that.

If you're not happy,

It's not because you don't understand something like this is the problem with being addicted to information is that it's like,

We think information is going to save us.

We're so addicted to our intellect that we think that's the end all be all.

And it's not.

In fact,

It's the least,

This is,

This is,

This is why people like with high education and intelligence just simply don't impress me.

They,

They don't because it's,

Most of it is useless.

Now don't get me wrong.

Like if there are some people that use their intellect in,

In a healthy way to,

To,

To inspire change,

To make things better than cool.

Like,

I mean,

I get it.

I'm not,

I'm not demonizing intellect.

I'm just saying that it's,

It's,

It's like,

If you want to be happy,

It's not that important.

You know,

Like in recovery,

They say I've never met anybody to,

Or I've,

I've never met anybody too dumb to get sober,

But I've met people who are too smart.

And that resonated with me,

Not because there's anything wrong with smart people or people with lesser intelligence.

It's because it,

People of lesser intelligence generally don't have the intellect to complicate things so much.

Rationalize so much dance around the truth so much.

It's more simple and straightforward.

You know,

Think of Forrest Gump.

It's like,

I'm just going to,

I'm going to run,

Running,

Just run.

That's it.

It wasn't going,

Should I run?

Do I have the right sneakers to run?

How,

What's the healthy amount to run each day?

How am I going to eat like that?

It's just run.

Right.

And everything else took care of itself.

That's the whole movies about that.

All the different things that he did.

He just focused on one thing and,

And just did it and everything took care of itself.

And,

And he was amazing.

He didn't overthink it.

See,

And I've,

Myself,

I've,

Whenever I got into trouble with recovery where I had my problems,

It was when I was overthinking it.

The times that I saw people struggle,

It was because they were overthinking it.

The most,

I mean,

There are other struggles,

Of course,

But so self-knowledge just isn't enough.

It just doesn't.

It's,

It's just,

It can be used as a tool to help us move towards things,

But we have to implement.

So it's a lot of people when they're addicted to the,

To the information,

They,

They go like,

They take in all this information and,

And they feel better.

Our body gives us a,

A symbol or a symptom when we're doing something good.

So self-knowledge can be used as a tool.

So then we,

So our body is,

Is going like,

Yes,

That was good.

You learned something and you can feel this sense of pleasure or accomplishment or something that's positive feedback for doing something good.

But we think that that's it.

And we get caught in that loop.

That's why people stay stuck.

Oh,

I went to a workshop and I worked through something and I felt better.

Okay.

So now I don't feel good again.

So I'll go to another workshop and I'll work through something and I'll feel better.

Okay.

And then the next week you got to go to another one and another one and another one and another one,

Or you read something and your,

It changes the way you look at something.

So you gain a little self-knowledge or some intellectual knowledge and you go,

Oh,

Okay.

And your body gives you that positive feedback.

Oh,

This feels good.

I'm learning.

Oh,

Okay.

I think that that's it.

Like that,

That's all we get caught in the addiction of that.

Oh,

Whenever I take in information,

I get this high from accomplishing something or learning more.

My body is telling me this is good.

So I will continue doing it.

It's like,

Well,

There's more to life than just that.

Like that's,

It's not the end all be all implementation is more important.

So you have people that have been studying spirituality for five years,

10 years,

20 years,

And they're not really happy.

And what they're doing is studying more spirituality.

It's like,

That's doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

That's insanity.

Like you have to go beyond intellectual knowledge.

You have to take this stuff and implement it.

If,

If you have taken in,

Oh my God,

So little information.

Like I said,

I didn't understand anything when I was getting sober.

And that's when I had most of my spiritual awakenings.

But if you've been taking in a lot of information or fair amount consistently for years,

And you're not happy,

It's not because you don't,

You didn't take in the right information.

It's because you're not implementing enough.

I mean,

Really think about it.

How often have you heard people explain mindfulness,

Consciousness,

Awareness,

The presence,

The power of now,

Uh,

It's all the teachers are saying the same things now.

And they have been for the last 10,

000 years,

The same,

The same things.

It's not complicated.

Spirituality is extremely simple.

It's profound and mind blowing,

But it's simple.

If you want to get closer to the truth,

You simplify.

Okay.

So it's,

It's not that you don't understand something.

It's that you're not implementing enough.

You're not living it.

You're not taking it and living it.

So this is,

I'm going to end on this.

So,

So to take it and live it,

Find,

Create literal,

Physical activities to do to implement it.

I'm constantly setting reminders on my phone,

Sometimes morning,

Afternoon,

And evening to remind myself of something that I'm working on,

So I can sit with it.

If I'm going through a period of suffering,

I am met instead of meditating every morning,

I'll meditate two,

Three,

Four times a day,

Even if it's for five or 10 minutes.

Why?

Because it's an action to,

To get me to disconnect from my old repetitive,

Habitual way of thinking and lock into the,

The vibration of what I'm trying to do,

Of what I'm trying to change.

Put sticky notes all over the house,

Reminding myself,

You name it,

Just,

You know,

Whatever it takes to,

For it to be at the forefront of my mind.

So I can physically behave in a way that is in alignment with who I'm trying to be,

Or the,

The,

The,

The concept that I'm trying to embody.

That's what I do.

And that's when I get the,

The,

The most help.

And a simple one to start is just connect to source.

I've said this countless times.

It is nothing better than,

If you could forget everything that I said in this podcast,

And you'll come to the same conclusion,

The same understanding,

And the,

The same,

You'll get the same results.

If you just connect to source as many times throughout the day as you can.

That's it.

Even if it's for two or three seconds,

Just connect,

Meditate for five or 10 minutes,

Three times a day,

Just open,

Just,

Just,

And you don't even have to ask any questions.

You don't have to pray for anything.

You don't have to do anything.

Just get into that space and,

And just,

Just,

You could,

You could visualize your consciousness opening up.

You can just feel the connection and love that you have with your source.

And if you do that consistently regularly enough,

What happens is you're opening up the portal to divine wisdom.

And,

And,

And all of a sudden new ways of looking at things just come to you.

Things that used to bother you,

Don't bother you anymore.

It's just when you're,

When you're connected to,

To,

To the oneness,

To source,

Whatever it is,

It's just the more you're connected to that,

The more it flows through you.

And all of a sudden you'll start having epiphanies.

You'll start having,

Having awakenings.

You'll start coming to knowledge of self-knowledge of,

Of things that you need to work on or ways that you can do better at them.

It'll just come to you.

So,

Yeah,

That's enough for now.

So self-knowledge can be used as a tool,

But it's not the end all be all.

So,

Um,

The implementation is more important.

Connection to source is more important.

This stuff can happen just organically,

Spiritual awakenings and stuff just organically.

Um,

But yeah,

You,

You,

You have to dive in and not be stuck with the intellect and the self-knowledge.

All right.

Hopefully that helps.

Thank you all for,

Uh,

For listening,

Following,

And my mouse isn't working.

Okay.

I won't use it.

All right.

Thank you.

All right.

Thanks for,

Uh,

Thanks for watching and listening there.

Bye.

I will talk with you soon.

Peace.