Social Change And Personal Growth

Welcome to Life,

Lessons and Laughter with your host Glenn Ambrose.

Hey everybody,

Welcome to the show.

So today I am talking,

I just made a joke before we went on air so it's funny and I'm not telling you guys.

So we are talking about,

I got an email from a listener which you know of course I try to respond to all of them,

I think I do,

And it was talking about,

They had noticed that I didn't fat shame on my show which I was like,

Cool,

You know,

I don't think I put a lot of consciousness into not doing that but I'm glad that I don't.

I don't want to do any type of shaming,

You know,

And I was thinking,

I said well maybe you know,

It might have something to do with being a personal trainer for many years.

I think if you're a personal trainer,

You go one of two ways.

Either you lean into the fat shaming to build your business or you start really understanding that everybody's a person because you meet so many different types of people and you start interacting with them that way and you don't focus on the appearance.

So I think,

You know,

That,

I don't know,

That may have had something to do with me.

And so I brought this up to Ben and I'm like,

Hey,

What do you think about this?

And we talked because we met when I was a personal trainer for you.

Yeah,

Spoiler alert for those of you who are not patreon.

Com slash glennambro subscribers and don't get the video.

I am a large boy.

I am a large boy.

Yeah,

So even if he did,

I mean,

The podcast in this form probably wouldn't have lasted very long anyway had he been doing it,

But he never would have anyway.

So I was like,

Yeah,

Let's talk about this.

We can talk about this.

Yeah,

So I mean,

You know,

The initial email was kind of about,

Hey,

You know,

It's cool that you don't fat shame.

I appreciate that and I like it.

And then it started touching on how fat shaming was such an issue in this world.

And I agree it is,

You know,

It's like,

I just watched that Brene Brown special on Netflix last week and she was talking about shame and how big of a deal it is and everything.

And she said that for men,

The biggest thing that we experience shame over is weakness,

Perceived weakness.

And women over body image.

So it's not,

You know,

And of course,

Body image is for men as well.

It's just number one for women.

So if anything's number one for either gender,

It's a big freaking deal.

So I think we've known that for a long time now and it's perpetuated through the media and all that type of stuff.

So I mean,

It's an obvious huge problem in our society.

Not judging people for who they are as people,

But how they look in a lot of different ways.

So it's obviously a huge issue.

And I thought that this was kind of a good time to,

I don't know,

Express kind of how I am and how I work because everybody's different,

You know.

And we need people to stand up socially and say,

Hey,

This isn't okay.

You know,

We need people like that.

But not everyone is like that.

Not everyone.

And I am the,

It's funny because when I was younger,

I was very much like that.

I mean,

My mom used to call me the world police.

If there was a problem,

I was going to be front and center on it.

But the problem was,

Is like,

I didn't,

If somebody attacked,

I just attacked back 10 times harder.

That was my defense mechanism.

And that's so inbred in me.

I should not be on the front lines of anything.

I'm just not good in that type of situation.

It's not my thing.

And I try to live consciously and I'm aware of the social issues and I've spent a lot of time really getting to know myself and what works for me and understanding that what works for different people are different.

We do need people to stand up for social change publicly and speak about it and all that type of stuff.

But not,

Like I said,

Not everybody has to be that.

Sometimes we can support those people in different ways.

But not everybody has to be that.

And I found out that I'm not that.

At least not yet.

You know,

Who knows?

Maybe as time goes on,

There will be something that moves me to head in that direction.

But as of now,

It's not that.

I don't do social change.

It's just not my thing.

So far,

It's not why I'm here.

What I do is one-on-one work.

I help people find happiness regardless of the circumstances.

I'm not out trying to change all the circumstances.

Because I think if,

You know,

I truly believe we should have happiness now.

Like I suffered for 20 years,

If not more.

And once I found happiness,

It was like,

Okay,

Screw this.

I'm living like this.

Happiness is not a destination.

It's a means of travel.

So I want to walk through life happy.

So you know,

Just to bring it back to this topic,

What I want people to do is I want people to find happiness and contentment with them in themselves.

And then if you want to go stand up for social change,

Go do social change.

But don't wait for society to change before you're going to feel happy with your life.

Because sometimes it takes 5,

10,

50 years.

Sometimes it takes 2,

000 years.

We don't know when the social change is going to take place.

And if you're waiting,

Like to me,

It's disempowering.

If you're going to take your happiness and be like,

Okay,

I'm going to hand it over to something else and say,

I'm going to be happy when this changes.

Now all of a sudden you just sentenced yourself to an unhappy life until something may or may not change in the future.

And to me,

That's disempowering.

That's why it's just not in alignment with what I teach.

Like I said,

There's a place for it.

It's just not what I do.

So what I do is try to help people find happiness where they are regardless of their circumstances.

And then they can head in the direction of social change if they so choose,

If that's their thing or not,

If it's not their thing.

The big social change element that there is,

If there's any,

To your work is there is one exception to,

I believe,

To what you're saying that you don't do,

Which is the Great Love Project and the idea of,

Which kind of is an all encompassing thing of,

There are so many issues that you can get bogged down in.

And your goal is to get people to approach everything with love and to focus on love and to expand with love.

And I think that that is what,

In a sense,

Brings on the societal change.

And it also is the greatest,

Loving yourself and loving whatever it is that is being shamed about you,

Loving the people that are doing it.

Whenever there's something,

Like you've said it many times,

All work is self work.

And when people attack you,

There's something wrong with them.

So if you can approach that with love and yourself with love,

Then you can take away some of the suffering from this shame that's being,

You know,

This societal change that is,

Or this societal problem that's hurting you is very real.

And the hurt is very real and the suffering is very real.

But if you can sort of reset your perspective on it and understand that the people that are attacking you or saying these things don't know you,

Most likely,

Don't know your story,

And it doesn't matter if they did.

Because they're not coming at things from an honest,

Earnest,

Well-meaning sense.

You know what I mean?

And that's something that I think that fat shaming in particular,

Like you said with the personal trainers,

Right?

Personal trainers can go one way or another.

And I think that a lot of people in the health and wellness community that do fat shame,

Among other things,

Are people that are not,

That's not the purest of intentions.

Your purest of intentions are not just to help these people if you're making fun of them or screaming at them or demeaning them.

Those are my thoughts.

And I agree with you.

And I mean,

Sometimes,

We have to remember that when people are doing things that they shouldn't be doing,

They are living unconsciously.

And sometimes that's with good intentions and sometimes it's without.

So if somebody can be going,

No,

I fat shame because I really want them to live a better life.

Like,

They can actually believe that on a surface level,

But they're living unconsciously.

It doesn't make sense,

But they can think that it makes sense.

And they can really believe that that's what they should be doing.

And that's part of the reason.

But they're unconscious.

They're not seeing it from a truly conscious,

Loving perspective.

So if we're waiting for those people to change before we experience a level of peace,

Contentment,

And happiness in our lives,

We've got a long wait.

And I mean,

I know I started saying that I don't get into social change.

I mean,

I do in some way.

Like you said,

The Great Love Project is a good example of that.

I mean,

I do believe I'm an agent of social change.

But it's not in the typical way that standing in a line and protesting and the loud way.

That's not how I do it.

Because if I go in that direction,

I get sucked into the energy of it.

And I know that about myself,

So I don't do it.

But what I do do is I try to anchor myself as much in love as I can.

And The Great Love Project,

It's easier for me because it is larger,

And it's a big concept,

And it's just love.

And if somebody walks up to me and says,

Glenn,

Spreading love is stupid.

You're an idiot.

Well,

Then,

I mean,

It's pretty kind of obvious that they're really not somebody I need to have a conversation with.

You know,

Like that.

I'm not going to argue with somebody about that.

But if somebody says,

Well,

You should fat shame because of this.

I might take the bait and go,

Well,

That's ridiculous because of this.

Now next thing you know,

I'm knee deep into an argument with this person.

And I don't know how I got there.

And I don't like finding myself in those situations.

That's why I don't do the silly little arguments with people.

I'd rather stick to the bigger concept.

And I truly believe that as each person finds happiness,

It's be the change you wish to see in the world.

If you really want to change the world on a societal level,

Be the change.

Be love.

Be happiness.

Be joy.

Be content.

Be in peace.

Be that.

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

And that's how I believe I'm an agent for social change.

I'm trying to get each person to be peaceful and loving.

And if each person is like that collectively,

We're going to change the collective vibration of the entire world and more people are going to start to awaken.

And that's how I think I'm an agent for social change,

But it starts one person at a time.

So let's bring it back to that one person.

Okay,

Ben.

Yeah.

Let's bring it back to one singular individual feeling.

Some people are,

There are a lot of people,

A lot of people when we're talking about societal issues like this,

Not just fat shaming,

But there are a lot of people who are actually specifically targeted for hate.

And that is a terrible,

Terrible,

Terrible thing.

And action does need to be taken about that.

And as you said at the beginning of the show,

People who are taking action and people who want to take action and believe that they are someone to do that and who are going to rise up to take action of that,

That is all fantastic,

Fantastic stuff.

And if you're one of those people,

That's amazing.

Absolutely.

If you are just one of the people who are persecuted for whatever this thing is,

If you're one of these people who feel like a target or are a target of one of these things,

And you're not someone who wants to or feels like the type of person to stand up and make the big fight,

You kind of have to find the way to anchor yourself in love,

Like you said,

And make your life about other things as well.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Find the happiness and find the confidence.

There is somebody that is overweight.

There is,

There's multiple people.

But there are multiple people that are overweight that if somebody attempts to fat shame them,

It doesn't work.

Those people exist.

And it doesn't mean that fat shaming is right now.

It just means that there are people who it doesn't take root.

It doesn't hurt them when somebody attempts to fat shame them.

And the difference between that and somebody who does get hurt is their perspectives.

I'd like to be very clear.

I'm not one of those people.

I will cry.

I will.

No,

You won't.

So,

But no,

You won't.

Okay.

Well,

Maybe not.

Maybe you will.

I don't freaking know.

I don't.

But no,

There is,

And it's just feeling hurt by something doesn't make the problem go away.

So the more confident you are and the more self-work you do and the more you can stand in your own strength and your own happiness and the more you can love yourself,

The more somebody can say to you something negative.

And if you know it's not true about you,

The easier you can bat it away.

But the lower the self-confidence,

The more it's going to hit you hard.

Again,

This doesn't have anything to do with whether it's right or wrong.

It's wrong.

But the more you work on your self-confidence,

The less it's going to affect you.

A little story that I think applies here.

Yesterday I saw a friend at their place of employment and their coworker who is a joy.

Just the coworkers,

Just always pleasant,

Just a wonderful person.

Later I had heard that,

Not anything specifically,

But that that person had had a horrific day way before,

Or weekend or whatever,

Before I had seen them.

And they were still completely joyful.

And it made me think about how we have these interactions with people that aren't our close family or our close friends.

We have these interactions with people and we may pass judgment on them as a person at a store that you go into.

You go into Walmart and the cashier is rude to you.

A lot of people I think say,

Oh,

We don't think about whatever they're going through,

The rude waiter.

What is their day like that they were a little frazzled and that we're upset with them?

But I think that it was great to see the other side of that too,

Which is you can go in and see somebody who is extremely pleasant and joyful,

Who is really struggling with something.

And it's just both sides of the coins of if you're not that person and you don't have extremely intimate knowledge of that person,

Which is probably,

I mean,

I would assume you probably have intimate knowledge of like five to six,

Maybe people on earth other than yourself.

So if you're not one of those five or six people,

Any single person that you're dealing with on a day to day basis is going through things that you have absolutely no idea what they are.

And whether or not they choose to meet you with love or anxiety and stress and all of that coming through is whatever they choose and whatever is happening with them.

Just like you,

You can be having a bad day and you can take it out on somebody or you can be having a bad day.

You can feel hurt and take it out on other people or you can feel hurt and you can still meet people with love.

So I just kind of thought about that because we always think about people that are having a bad day.

Oh,

What's wrong with them?

We don't know what's wrong with them.

But sometimes people that seem like they're very nice are also having a bad day.

Sometimes.

Yeah.

And it's true.

We don't know.

And I guess this is kind of taking it even one step further,

Which you've got to really make sure you're not leaning into any type of victim mentality at all to be able to comprehend this.

But it's taking it and understanding that nobody does negative stuff to other people and feels good about it.

It's not a joyful act to shame somebody else.

If you're shaming somebody else about anything or doing something hurtful towards somebody else,

There is something wrong with that person that's making them think that this is the right way to act in that particular situation.

There is some sort of ignorance going on in their mind that makes them think that this is necessary and proper for them to do.

And that could go all the way back to childhood,

Their upbringing.

We don't know.

We don't know.

So instead of trying to change people that we don't know their story,

We don't know what they're doing,

If we focus on love and what's in our control,

We're going to be a heck of a lot happier.

And social change will come actually quicker the less we fight.

I'm not saying don't stand up against.

But if you have a shamer that's filled with anger,

And then you have somebody that they're shaming that's filled with anger,

And they go,

I'm shaming you.

And they go,

You shouldn't shame me.

You're bad.

And they go,

No,

You're bad because you're overweight.

And they go,

Well,

You shouldn't say that I'm overweight and I'm bad because you don't know.

That's just a ball of anger getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.

That's how things never get settled.

That's one of the reasons why we have all the social problems now is because we've been doing this for thousands of years.

We just argue with each other.

So social change is,

And I've said this a lot in the past,

Social change has taken place when you look at Martin Luther King Jr.

,

When you look at Nelson Mandela,

When you look at Gandhi,

Large social change has always taken place when you embrace your enemy instead of fighting them.

And you didn't fight back.

You stopped because somebody had anger and they were attacking.

And instead of attacking back,

The side stopped attacking and said,

Wait a minute,

I'm not fighting with you.

I just want to open a dialogue.

I don't want to fight with you.

I just want to open a dialogue.

When they came from love instead of anger and attacking,

That's what has induced large social change.

And that's one of the reasons why I don't get involved in this type of stuff because it's too juicy for me,

Man.

I'll get sucked right into it.

I'll be like,

You know?

So I just lean back and really stay focused on the love because I think that that's where I'm most effective.

And that's where I think a lot of people are most effective.

And even if you are going to go stand on the front lines,

If you stand on the front lines and an energy of love instead of attack,

You're going to make more ground because everything's energy.

So if you've got a ball of anger and you bring in another ball of anger,

Just because,

Well,

You have righteous anger and they have bad anger.

So it's different.

No,

It's just anger.

It's anger.

It doesn't matter if you're right and they're wrong.

It's simply two balls of anger coming together to make a bigger ball of anger.

So nothing gets solved that way.

But if you bring in love and stand and go,

I just want to open a dialogue.

Now all of a sudden,

You start connecting with people on the other side.

That's what starts shifting people's opinions,

Not attacking.

I remember trying to teach my son this when he was younger.

And I was like,

Has anybody from another team ever come up to you after a soccer game and said,

Your team sucks and you guys are all horrible?

And then you were like,

Oh yeah,

Thanks for explaining that to me.

You're right.

Like,

No,

You're never going to look at the other side and go after they attack you and go,

Oh,

Thank you for helping me see the truth.

I really appreciate that.

You just attack and defend.

So stand in love.

That's what really induces large social change on a large scale.

And standing in your own self-love and confidence and understanding that you can be happy.

It's possible if you do the work to be happy on your own,

Regardless of your circumstances.

And then once you find happiness,

Then you can decide whether you want to go stand on the front lines of a particular issue or not.

But if you do,

You're going to be standing in a space of love while you're on that front lines.

And that's what's really going to induce a social change.

So either way,

You start with yourself,

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Once you change you and you're experiencing peace,

Love,

And happiness that you want,

Then you can spread it to others.

But we can't bring peace,

Love,

And acceptance to others if we don't even have it for ourselves.

Wow.

I wish I had a mic to drop.

Oh yeah,

Don't drop that.

You already had problems with it.

Yeah.

So this usually doesn't happen,

But we have like three minutes left.

And I just thought,

I wonder if this is going to be a controversial episode.

I don't think so.

I don't think so,

But it could be.

We'll find out.

We'll find out.

And if it is,

It's just,

You know,

It's stuff like this gets controversial depending on how much people are locked into that victim mentality.

So that's probably going to be the most controversial thing I said in the whole podcast,

In my opinion.

It's because if somebody is locked into the victim mentality and then you tell them they're locked into the victim mentality,

That really pisses them off.

So we'll see.

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Oh yeah,

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Yeah.

I have a lot of friends,

Of course,

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Yeah.

All right,

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