Isn't it annoying when things don't go the way we want them to?
Isn't it frustrating when we have a plan in our minds about how things are supposed to turn out,
And then they don't go the way that we'd envisaged?
How often have you got upset,
Maybe even angry,
Because things just haven't worked out the way you thought they should?
But I'm wondering,
Is there really a norm?
Is there just one special way that things are supposed to work out?
One way that ticks all of our boxes and meets all of our personal preferences?
Is there one very unique way that life is actually supposed to unfold?
In this episode,
We follow Paul and Isabel,
As Paul has to handle something that doesn't go the way he wishes and leaves him feeling very disappointed and upset.
So if you want to find out how to not get unnecessarily angry when life doesn't go the way that you want it to,
Perhaps you might want to give this story a listen.
It's the end of a particularly tough week,
And as it's Friday evening,
Paul decides it would be a great treat to give his family a night in with a movie and a delicious Italian takeaway,
Lasagna.
Everybody in the family loves lasagna.
So he happily and excitedly dials the number to the takeaway,
Ready to place his order,
And is beyond disappointed when he's told that they've completely run out of his favourite dish.
In a state of shock,
Paul mutters something incomprehensible and hangs up the phone.
He can't quite believe what's just happened.
At first he feels bemused,
Then upset,
And then angry.
And at that moment he hears Isabel and Pablo coming into the house.
Lasagna is a classic and should be prepared in advance.
How can anybody who runs an Italian takeaway ever,
Ever run out of lasagna?
It doesn't even make sense!
Isabel and Pablo have no idea what he's talking about and just stare at him with their mouths open.
Oh,
You don't understand,
Says Paul,
Still feeling so frustrated.
I wanted to surprise you both with Italian takeaway and I'd ordered lasagna,
But they've run out.
It doesn't even make sense.
I mean,
I might have understood if it had been tiramisu.
I understand that tiramisu has to be prepared and left overnight in the fridge and has to be eaten within 48 hours,
But you can freeze lasagna.
They could have had plenty.
It's a classic.
This is the most ridiculous situation to be in.
I can't even put words around how insane this is.
Oh,
Says Isabel,
As part of the jigsaw puzzles begin to fall into place and she sees what's going on.
You had a plan for us and you expected the Italian restaurant to live up to your expectations and life didn't hand it out the way that you thought.
It certainly didn't,
Said Paul,
Still wanting to stamp his feet in frustration.
He was so angry.
Isabel takes a dishcloth to wipe the plate that is lying on the edge of the sink and smiles again at her husband.
Her gaze meets the hammer that Paul used yesterday to drive a nail into the wall and hang up his new painting.
It's still lying on the kitchen counter.
After a few moments,
Isabel's mind begins to come up with a story that's based on a fable that she'd heard many moons ago.
In a quiet voice,
Almost as if she were speaking to herself,
She begins to narrate a story.
Master Dishcloth,
Released from its hook,
Held a soup plate in its arms.
Master Hammer,
On the kitchen counter,
Admired Master Dishcloth at work.
Good evening,
Sir Dishcloth.
How that plate sparkles!
I can hardly believe it with my own eyes.
It's such a marvel.
And when I see you caressing the plate with such delicate movements to make it so beautiful,
I can't help but feel a little jealous.
And the Hammer,
Unable to resist the urge to help,
Slides off the counter and onto the plate below.
And under the impact,
The beautiful plate explodes into a thousand pieces.
The Hammer is utterly shocked by the devastation he has caused and doesn't know what to think,
Let alone what to say.
So Master Dishcloth,
Full of understanding,
Gently gives him this lesson.
My good friend,
Learn that every tool has its role and function.
I excel at polishing dishes,
And you have no equal when it comes to driving nails into walls.
And thanks to you,
The pictures on the wall look beautiful.
Hey Mum,
That story is brilliant!
It reminds me of a story,
An Aesop's fable I think,
That I learnt at school recently about a fox and a crow.
I think what you're trying to say is that when Dad's brain broke,
Sorry Dad,
I mean when you got angry,
When you didn't have all the bits of the puzzle,
Or any of us have all the bits of the puzzle,
And something doesn't make sense,
Maybe it's just that we haven't perceived enough to figure it all out yet.
Maybe there's more to the picture,
Like maybe we're supposed to have Chinese food tonight.
Maybe the way it looks isn't the way it's going to actually need to be.
And Dad,
If the hammer had continued,
Maybe all the dishes would have been broken.
Pablo winks at his Dad,
And his Dad cannot help but smile.
Our intellect offers us a marvellous toolbox that allows us to sketch out ideas,
To draw up plans,
To build projects the way we build bridges over rivers.
But all of those tools are not designed to figure out the mystery of life,
Or to calculate the reasons for the many bends in the river.
So when we get stuck,
And sometimes we will,
When nothing makes sense,
All it means is that we temporarily got stuck in the toolbox,
That we became a prisoner of our intellect,
And there's nothing to worry about,
Because as soon as we remember,
All we need to do is step right back out of it again.
