Welcome to Journey to Self sessions.
This is a guided meditation for couples in conflict.
In this meditation,
You'll find out how to find compassion,
Understanding the unresolved conflict.
Now this meditation is done with your partner.
And yes,
You will be setting really close to each other.
And you will be touching each other's hearts.
Now,
If if you're in a place in your relationship where it is really uncomfortable to touch each other,
You can do it just sitting across from each other face to face.
But to receive the full benefits of this meditation,
I highly advise that you follow each step in this meditation.
Now this meditation is all about understanding how your partner is feeling.
You will be guided through a visualization of putting yourself in your partner's shoes.
Often in times of conflict with our with our partners or significant others,
We often only see our hurt,
Our pain.
In conflict,
We get triggered and fears come up and doubts and resentments and blame and all these other negative emotions.
And when we feel these,
It's so hard for us to take ourselves outside of ourselves and understand how our partner is feeling.
So in this,
In understanding how your partner is feeling and sharing compassion for them,
You can often find out what the underlying issue actually is.
Because we'll be taking,
You'll be taking yourself outside of yourself and putting yourself in your partner's shoes and seeing this conflict in a different light.
And this can often bring the truth.
Now,
As we get started,
Find a comfortable spot on the floor,
Or your bed.
Get really close to each other.
Interlock your legs and place your hand on your partner's heart right in the middle of their chest and gently close your eyes.
Now sitting here with your partner,
Your loved one,
Your significant other,
Feeling this hand on their chest,
Start to begin to take some deep,
Slow inhales through the mouth and exhaling deeply through the mouth.
And as you're inhaling and exhaling with the mouth,
Feel your partner,
Hear your partner and how they're breathing.
Get in tune with their breath and allow it to sync up with yours.
You can begin to start taking some inhales through the nose slowly and exhaling through the mouth slowly.
And on each inhale,
Expand the belly.
And on each exhale,
Feel the belly fall.
Become completely aware of your breath and your partner's breath.
Now we're going to do a quick body scan.
We're just going to scan from the top of the head,
All the way down to the tips of your toes.
So still with your hand on your partner's heart,
Just become aware of the entirety of your head.
The top of your head,
The sides,
The back,
Your forehead,
Your eyebrows,
Your eyes and nose,
Your cheeks,
Your lips,
Your chin.
Just become aware of any sensations that come up in your head.
Whether they're tingly,
Whether your face is warm or cool.
Maybe it doesn't feel like anything.
Just become aware of any sensations,
Aware of the weight of your head.
And just slowly work your attention down into your neck.
Feel any sensations in the neck.
Sometimes we can carry tension there.
If you do find any tension throughout this body scan,
Just take some deep inhales through the nose.
And as you exhale,
You can say in your mind,
I release this tension.
And you just do it over and over until you feel the tension release.
So now moving your awareness down into your shoulders,
Down into your arms,
Your biceps,
Triceps,
Elbows,
Forearm,
And all the way into your hands.
Now whichever hands are placed on each other's heart,
Really become aware of the feeling of your hand on your partner.
What does it feel like?
What does their skin feel like?
What does their clothing feel like?
Can you feel their heartbeat?
Can you feel the movement of the breath?
Become completely aware of the sensations on your hand and what you can feel in your partner's body.
Now bringing your awareness back up into your shoulders.
And slowly moving down into your chest and upper back.
These are also areas where we can carry a lot of tension,
Especially in the upper back,
In the shoulders,
Upper back.
So again,
Just sending those healing,
Deep breaths to those areas of discomfort.
And slowly moving the attention down into the diaphragm,
The mid back,
The stomach,
The abdomen,
And the lower back.
Becoming aware whatever sensations are going on in the stomach,
In the back,
In the entirety of your torso,
Your core.
Now just becoming aware of the entire upper body.
Doing a quick scan from the abdomen to the top of your head.
And as you come down into your hips and pelvis area,
Your glutes.
What sensations are going on in these areas?
Do you feel tension or discomfort?
Or do you feel the weight of your body contacting with the floor?
Just become aware of these sensations.
Become aware of the grounding where you are.
And if your legs are wrapped around your partner,
Start to move the awareness to your legs,
Down into your knees,
Down into your ankles and feet.
But also just feel the contact with your partner.
Is there a warmth?
Is it uncomfortable?
Or is it?
Do you feel connected?
Whatever sensations,
Feelings or thoughts arise,
Just observe them as they are without judgment.
And then come back to becoming aware of the sensations.
And now just bring your attention to the present moment.
Letting go of the focus on the body scan.
Just becoming aware of your breath.
The inflow through the nose,
The outflow through the mouth.
With the breath.
Every time we inhale,
We're giving to ourselves.
We're receiving healing.
And every time we exhale,
We're releasing what's not meant for our body.
What's not meant for for us.
So becoming aware of this,
Receiving and letting go,
Receiving and letting go,
Can bring a sense of peace of relaxation.
So as you're focusing on your breath,
And if any thoughts or feelings come up,
Just observe them without judgment.
Kind of like how we just did the body scan.
And whenever you felt a sensation,
You just observed it.
You didn't label it.
You didn't obsess about it.
You didn't judge it.
You just became aware of it,
You observed it.
Now use the same practice with your thoughts and feelings.
The mind can easily wander.
So if the mind ever does go,
Or feelings ever get overwhelming,
Just gently and curiously acknowledge them.
You can say lightly in your mind,
Huh,
I'm thinking right now.
Or huh,
I'm feeling right now.
And then gently guide your attention back to your breath.
Letting go.
Your thoughts are like your breath.
They come and go.
Your feelings are like your breath.
They come and go.
So to spend the next couple minutes focusing on your breath,
Observing thoughts and feelings and letting them go.
Now letting go of this focus on the breath.
We're now going to jump into our visualization for our partner.
So again,
Going back to that awareness of your hand on their chest.
I just want you to visualize in your mind of your partner in front of you.
Not just seeing them physically,
But attempting to perceive their emotions and their inner world.
Just imagine stepping into your partner's shoes.
What is it like to feel your partner's emotions?
What is it like to understand their thoughts,
Their perspectives?
If you've been with your partner for a long time,
I'm sure you understand who they are,
How they speak,
What their perceptions are,
How they feel.
Take the time to just really,
Really jump into their shoes.
Now that you're in your partner's shoes,
Feeling what they're feeling,
Seeing what they're seeing,
We're going to now visualize a recent conflict that happened.
In this conflict,
What was it about?
What was the experience?
What were the emotions felt?
Except this time,
You're not viewing it from your perspective.
You're viewing it from your partner's.
How did they feel?
How did they perceive what happened?
How did they behave?
If you're aware of your partner's past,
And you understand if there's any pain or hurt in their past,
You can maybe find some compassion here for how they reacted in the conflict.
Do you notice any new feelings or insights that arise from observing this conflict from your partner's point of view?
What comes up?
What's different about the conflict now?
Can you feel this deeper love?
Can you feel this deeper level of understanding and compassion for your partner?
Now,
As you're sitting there with your hand on your partner's heart,
Just send any compassion,
Forgiveness,
Understanding to your partner.
You can either say it silently in your mind.
You can also whisper it,
But just say these phrases of,
I understand your pain,
And I forgive you,
And ask for your forgiveness.
Let's say that to each other two more times.
Silently say this to your partner in your mind or whisper,
I understand your pain,
I forgive you,
And ask for your forgiveness.
I understand your pain,
I forgive you,
And I ask for your forgiveness.
If any other words of compassion or love come up,
Maybe just a couple words,
Express them silently in your mind to your partner.
Now,
As you let go of this visualization,
Bring yourself back into your shoes,
Back into your perspective,
Body sitting here with your partner,
Back any new insights or feelings of empathy that you gained into yourself.
As your hand is placed on your partner,
Visualize your hands turning into this connected light,
Bridging,
Connecting each other,
Connecting your hearts.
This symbolizes a path of understanding and compassion that you have for one another.
Take a few deep breaths into your nose and out to your mouth,
Letting out big sighs,
Relaxation,
Their peace.
When you feel ready,
Gently open your eyes,
Stare into their eyes,
And just feel this deep sense of love,
Compassion,
And understanding for your partner.
I encourage you after this meditation to maybe journal about any new insights that came up and have a discussion with your partner about the perspective,
About what it was like to be in their shoes,
And just hold the space for each other to open up and be vulnerable without judgment,
Without interruptions,
Just hearing each other and seeing each other and feeling one another.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Have a blessed day.
