Alternatives To Violence

Hi everyone,

This is Judy Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 329.

I hope you're all doing well and staying safe.

Yeah,

It's the last couple of weeks of the darkest days of the year up here in the global north and I know there's some of you joining from the global south where it's the last few days or weeks of the lightest days.

So wherever you are,

I hope you're finding some joy on this beautiful planet today.

Last week we took a look at chapter nine of the Dhammapada,

Evil,

And the gist of the chapter is crowd out evil thoughts and enhance positive ones.

And I mentioned that the title of the chapter evil felt somewhat alarming to me and then this week's chapter,

Which is chapter 10,

Is called violence.

So there's another alarming title.

But I do think it's a good thing to talk about.

So the chapter opens with these verses.

All tremble at violence,

All fear death,

Seeing others as being like yourself,

Do not kill or cause others to kill.

All tremble at violence,

Life is dear for all.

Seeing others as being like yourself,

Do not kill or cause others to kill.

So I first want to tell you a story about violence line.

No judgment,

But this is the truth about how I feel.

I'm not a vegetarian,

But I was once.

I started practicing mindfulness in 1993 when I basically randomly attended a workshop called Introduction to Mindfulness at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur,

California.

And I say randomly because I was a newly single mother.

My ex was with our baby girl that weekend,

Which was rare.

And mindfulness was what was on offer.

So James Barros was the teacher and he's still my teacher today.

So there's that amazing blessing.

And on the first day of the workshop,

In the first session,

James led us in an eating meditation.

And it's a classic.

Raisins get passed around.

You've probably done this.

Participants are encouraged to taste the raisins.

Imagine where they came from.

All the people that brought them into their hands,

How the earth and the sun make raisins possible and so on.

And it's a beautiful meditation.

It's a powerful meditation.

And I didn't know how powerful it was until I walked into the dining hall that evening and one option was chicken.

And I looked at the chicken and I didn't eat meat again for five years,

Just starting right in that moment,

Which felt really good.

And then eventually I gave up being a vegetarian.

And there are so many moments I really feel that choice.

And maybe because as the verse says,

I experience life as deer and fear of death,

I experience as well.

And I really do think that the cows and the chickens and the fish and the lambs and the ducks and all the animals that I eat also experience life as deer and also fear death.

I look at how lovingly they care for their young,

Just as an example.

So this eating meat is a point of sorrow for me.

And I think because of that,

I feel the truth of these verses.

And maybe one day I'll shift back and forward and stop causing others to kill so that I can eat the animals they're killing.

So that's one relationship I have to violence.

And here's another way of looking at violence in another verse in the chapter.

Don't speak harshly to anyone.

What you say will be said back to you.

Hostile speech is painful and you will meet with retaliation.

And here's another,

Even while doing evil,

Fools are ignorant of it.

Like someone burned by fire,

Those lacking wisdom are scorched by their own deeds.

Right.

So this is the set of verses or mindfulness instructions,

I think,

That I think invites us and I'd say with some urgency to really hold up a mirror.

So I think about how many times I've spoken harshly or I've said something ostensibly not harsh,

But underneath there's harshness and you could say violence.

How many times you could look and see,

Have you done that?

And maybe it's really well disguised,

Maybe it's thinly disguised,

But it's there.

I was talking with a teammate the other day and realized there was an edge to my voice.

I was on a chat yesterday and the person wasn't understanding what I was asking.

And I used all paps to explain something.

So just these brief moments of violence.

And the word itself makes me turn away.

And yet if I'm being truthful,

It's the right word.

And I can tell when it's happening because the tone of the conversation changes.

There is retaliation,

As the verse says,

Even if it's subtle.

Violence begets violence,

As hate begets hate,

As Gandhi and Dr.

King reminded us.

And if the ancient sages had been speaking to lawyers,

They'd probably be even more emphatic because speech is a weapon in the law,

Isn't it?

And when we use it that way,

We can pretty much count on the other person returning the favor.

And then I don't know about you,

But I can also retaliate against myself,

Scorch myself,

When I notice I've said something violent,

Even if only sort of teensily violent,

Right?

I feel dismay.

I feel like I should have tamed my mind better or just flat out been more kind.

So there's that level of retaliation and scorch too.

So we have this invitation or maybe obligation to put some real effort into this and some real mindfulness and virtue too,

Right?

Because if our job as lawyers is to be the most passionate advocate possible for our clients,

And if our job as law professors is to teach our students to be passionate advocates,

Then our jobs as mindful lawyers and law professors is to titrate between using words as weapons because the client wants that or feels they need that.

And also because there's that skewering effect that can feel really good,

To titrate between that and being just a good,

Wise human,

Right?

And I say titrate because I don't think we have to choose one or the other.

I think we can do both.

And one way I try to work in this arena is to use the practice of discernment and to work with the four steps of discernment,

To put that puzzle together.

First,

To set good intentions and really intention setting before I open my mouth personally,

I find to be very useful.

And then second,

To remember that everything we say and the way we say it really matters.

It really has an impact.

And so there's the intentions and then remembering that impact is real.

And then the third piece,

Or the third step of discernment practice,

Do no harm.

Do no harm.

And that's not easy as a lawyer,

As an advocate in an adversary system.

And then the fourth step,

And it's a big one.

And it's the one that's lowest about self-awareness,

I think,

Or at least for me,

And not turning away and not being defensive and not being in denial is to check in frequently.

So check in before you say anything or write anything or post anything.

That's a big one,

Right?

So check in before,

Check in while you're speaking or writing or posting,

Check in right after and then check in a little while after because,

Right,

You can't always see the effects of what's happening right at the moment and see if there's any violence,

See if any harm has been done and apologize if there is.

Make amends.

And also don't scorch yourself with dismay.

So I love this as just one small daily way to address end suffering,

Which is basically what chapter 10 says.

So here's one of the last verses.

Like a good horse,

Or you could say lawyer,

Alert to the whip,

Be ardent and alarmed with faith,

Virtue,

Effort,

Concentration,

And discernment,

Accomplished in knowledge and good conduct.

And be mindful,

You will leave this great suffering behind.

So let's sit.

So just taking a comfortable posture that's also dignified and relaxing into that posture,

Settling in and choosing a home base for your attention,

Whether that's the breath or whether that's the sounds in your environment.

And just allowing the attention to settle in that home place.

Okay,

Cool.

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And letting that settling be an act of love for yourself.

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