Gratitude Mini-Series S1/E2: 5 Habits Of Highly Grateful Law

Good morning,

Everyone.

Good afternoon.

Good evening,

Wherever you are.

Welcome to the Wake Up Call.

This is Wake Up Call 326 on November 18th.

Last week was about gratitude for the hard stuff,

Being grateful for the difficulties that we encounter and see them as opportunities to deepen our practice.

And in my experience,

This isn't the easiest instruction,

But it's been very helpful.

So I hope for you too.

For today's Wake Up Call,

I want to talk about gratitude habits or strategies.

And there's been a lot of research on gratitude.

So for example,

People who practice various forms of gratitude are generally happier,

More successful.

They're also more generous.

They apparently donate up to 20% more of their money and time than those who don't practice gratitude.

They're more bonded with their local community.

And maybe that includes their law firms,

Bar sections,

Faculty,

Fellow students,

Why not?

Grateful people experience 10% fewer illnesses.

And have blood pressure that's 12% lower than people who don't practice gratitude.

Apparently their income is about 7% higher.

They're more well liked.

They have more satisfying relationships.

And there's even research that shows that people who regularly practice gratitude live up to seven years longer than those who don't.

So who knows?

I'm always interested in the science.

But with all of the practices that train the mind and heart,

Like loving kindness,

Compassion,

Patience,

Gratitude,

The questions for me are always more about am I happier when I practice?

Am I kinder to others?

Am I able to do a little more good in the world?

And with all of them,

And especially with gratitude,

Especially with gratitude,

I definitely say yes.

When I think about gratitude in the law,

Though,

The first thing that comes to mind for me is how overworked and under resourced and overwhelmed all the law lawyers and all the law professors and all the law students I know are.

And I checked with registration for my mindfulness class at Berkeley yesterday for the spring,

And it's full with a full waiting list.

So it's a waiting list that's as big as the class.

And then a colleague of mine,

Emily Bruce,

Who's a wonderful teacher,

Is offering a similar class next semester at Berkeley.

So there are two mindfulness classes being offered at Berkeley in the same semester,

And her class is also full with a nearly full waiting list.

And then I got a note from a student on my waiting list telling me how difficult things are for them and asking what they can do if they don't get in.

And it's really heartbreaking.

So we need more mindfulness teachers in the profession and actually direct message me if you're interested,

If you're willing,

Because we just took next year's mindfulness in law teacher training completely virtual,

And we still have spaces and the profession really needs you.

So anyway,

All of this begs the question,

What is there to be grateful for in the law when things are so difficult?

And I guess I want to propose that actually at a time like this,

Gratitude might be more important than ever.

So here are five gratitude habits or strategies that I really like for all of us who work in the law,

And I'm just sort of tongue in cheek calling them the five habits of highly grateful lawyers.

So one is slow down.

If I don't do that,

I just end up missing stuff,

Missing the good stuff.

So maybe you stop,

Stop,

Take a breath,

Observe,

Proceed,

Or develop a habit of just taking a breath between one thing and the next and noticing what's there.

Like right now I'm at Tahoe and the sunrise this morning was breathtaking.

I was up really early.

Our dog and our granddaughter snuggled up on the bed.

There's a tangle of blankets on the couch from my partner's nap yesterday.

I only had one email this morning when I checked.

So when I slow down and notice those things,

I can remember to be grateful for the sunrise,

For having both dogs with me,

And for the good things that are happening for having both dogs with us right now for my partner and for the ease of not having too much correspondence to deal with right now.

So one,

Slow down.

Two,

Remember that we're just here for a moment.

Just like each breath and each thought,

We also are just here for a moment and then we pass away and so is everyone else.

We're all in this brief flash of consciousness together and then it will be gone.

So even if it's a difficult moment,

Let's not miss it and let's not miss appreciating it or finding something to appreciate about it and finding something about each other to appreciate.

So let's not miss being grateful for each other.

It's an easier way to go through a stressful day,

A stressful career.

Three,

Be humble about privilege and wealth.

As legal professionals,

And I know all of us probably have multiple intersecting identities,

But as legal professionals,

Whether it's by virtue of education or job status or salary or draw or just the location we find ourselves in,

In society's hierarchy,

We do have privilege and probably enough wealth to be relatively comfortable.

So for me,

It's an important part of gratitude practice to remember that I'm not entitled to that privilege or wealth,

That really it's a gift.

I was born into circumstances,

Some easy,

Some difficult,

But circumstances and in a location and with the intelligence and with the drive to get where I am.

And so whatever I've accomplished or contributed,

Sure,

I've worked for it,

But it's also something to be humbled by and to be very grateful for.

And maybe for you as well.

Four,

There's a practice called mental subtraction,

Which I really like.

Take a moment each day to think of the humans and other beings you love and the humans who take care of you at work and your mentors and family and friends.

And then imagine your life without them,

Really without any one of them.

And then remind yourself that right now they're still here if only for a moment and notice if that helps gratitude to come alive even more.

And five,

Practice gratitude out loud.

Gratitude isn't a solitary practice or it is,

But it only really works if we also take it off our crew.

It is,

But it only really works if we also take it off our cushions and express it.

So definitely it can take the form of a silent prayer,

Like when gratitude is arising because of a sunrise like it did for me this morning.

But even then,

It's good to share.

I'm so grateful for this incredible sunrise.

And then with other humans,

Be grateful out loud.

Say thank you a lot and with joy.

And be specific.

Appreciate people's good intentions,

Their labor,

The benefit that you've received.

Make it a practice to really see everyone who offers support,

Acknowledge their offering,

And appreciate the difference they've made in your life,

However small and however fleeting.

So slow down.

Remember we're just here for a moment.

Be humble about privilege and wealth.

Practice mental subtraction.

And practice gratitude out loud.

And let's sit now and we'll do a little gratitude practice together.

Practice together.

So first taking a moment to settle in.

Whether you're sitting,

Whether you're standing,

Walking,

Lying down.

Just notice what posture you're in.

Relax into the posture if you can.

You can do a little body scan if you want.

And just noticing any tight places.

Invite whatever relaxation is available to you.

And then think of one small thing that you're grateful for right now.

It could be as simple as that right in this moment you're warm and safe from whatever the elements are outside.

Or it could be for a meal that you had today or are looking forward to.

Or for whatever measure of good health you have right in this moment.

And just let that feeling of gratitude kind of bounce around inside,

Flow around inside.

Wherever it's located,

Let it spread out and see if you can invite gratitude to kind of inhabit you.

Inhabit your heart,

Inhabit your mind,

Inhabit your body.

And let it spread out.

And as you stay with this sense of gratitude,

What else comes to mind?

Just inviting things about your life or people in your life that you feel grateful for or whom you feel grateful to.

Just to pop to mind.

And as they do,

Just say silently to yourself,

Thank you.

Thank you.

And sometimes for me when I do this practice,

What can happen is that people I don't particularly feel a lot of gratitude towards in the moment pop up or situations I'm not happy about.

And so if it's available to you and that happens,

Try saying thank you to those people as well or for those circumstances.

Thank you.

And now see if there is someone whom you would like to be grateful for.

And maybe it hadn't occurred to you until now.

And call them to mind.

So first,

What came up easily?

Second,

What came up almost instead and now reaching out with the heart?

Who would I like to be grateful for?

And I hadn't thought about them for a little while.

And same practice,

Just say thank you.

And then in the moment,

I just want to say thank you to those who have been there for a long time.

And then in the last minute of practice together,

Call to mind three people and it could be any of the people you've been practicing with already or could be someone completely new.

Three people.

And set the intention to acknowledge them for something that they've done.

And appreciate them out loud.

Today.

And if three is too many,

Then two.

And if two is too many,

Then one.

Thank you,

Everyone,

For being on the wake up call today.

I want to dedicate today's wake up call to Mary DeSchaepel Radcliffe,

Who was my first mother-in-law and my daughter's beloved grandma and who died yesterday at the age of 95.

May her memory be for a blessing.

I'm very grateful to her for her life.

Take care,

Everybody.

There won't be a live wake up call next week,

But there'll be a recorded call.

So look for it.

Be well.

And have a nice Thanksgiving and a good Native American Heritage Day next week.