There are events in my past that I now consider to be embarrassing or shameful.
Frequently during my daily life these days,
Particularly during meditation,
Memories of these events come unbidden to my consciousness.
Do you have suggestions on how to stop thinking about these memories or to keep these memories from causing me pain and suffering when they come?
That's because you're regretting what you've done wrong in the past.
That's because you're regretting what you've done wrong in the past.
That's because you're regretting what you've done wrong in the past.
That's because you're regretting what you've done wrong in the past.
That's because you're regretting what you did wrong previously.
That's because you're regretting what you did wrong previously.
That's because you're regretting what you did wrong previously.
To regret something you've done in the past means to regret something you've done in the past means you don't think you are that person or as bad as that person who committed that deed.
So it's hard for you to acknowledge that you are that bad person.
So the person you consider yourself is a good person.
So the person you consider yourself is a good person.
However,
The person that's in reality,
That's yourself currently,
Doesn't quite match up to the ideal yourself.
So that's why you're kind of embarrassed.
However,
The person that's in reality,
That's yourself currently,
Doesn't quite match up to the ideal yourself.
So that's why you're kind of embarrassed or shameful about who you really are.
So it's important for you to be able to accept to throw away the illusory you or the ideal you that you hold yourself up to and acknowledge and accept you as you are,
The reality you,
That can also commit bad things that you might end up regretting.
So if you did something wrong,
Repent and then don't do it again.
But you don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed about it.
So instead of accepting what you did in the past and kind of commit yourself not to repeat them again in the future,
You're kind of stuck in this stage in which you're constantly regretting what you did in the past.
So it's similar to a small boy falling down.
And instead of getting up and just brushing off what he felt or whatever injuries he sustained,
He's kind of staying where he fell and crying about it all the time.
But small kids can fall.
So just because you fell doesn't mean you have to stay there.
So I want you to get up and start running again.
So what you did wrong in the past,
You did wrong.
However,
If you use it,
If you repent it and use it as a lesson learned not to repeat the same mistakes in the future,
It can actually be a blessing to your life.
So even during Buddha's time,
There was a mass murderer called Angolimala who killed 99 people.
Even he,
Once he met the teachings of the Buddha,
Repented and actually attained enlightenment.
Because we're not wise,
We tend to make mistakes and commit mistakes.
I'm not seeking to rationalize whatever mistakes we make.
I'm just saying that the fact that we make mistakes is just a reality we live in.
Even that me,
That me that commits these mistakes,
Even that me should be accepted and acknowledged.
And get up from where you fell and move forward.
The way you can actually kind of address this during meditation is that if you have a thought like this while meditating,
Don't fall into that thought and keep breathing.
If you are suffering from that thought,
It means that you already lost focus on the breath and fell into that thought.
You're kind of pursuing them.
So maintain your equanimity and calm.
And whatever memories come unbidden,
Do not imbue them with any meaning but keep focus on the breath.
These memories will keep on coming and will try to take you away.
However,
Do not let them grab you but keep on your focus on the breath and those thoughts will eventually disappear.
But then it will come again.
And once again,
Do not imbue them with any meaning but it will keep coming.
However,
If you are able to maintain equanimity and not react emotionally and be able to maintain your focus on the breath despite these thoughts arising,
That eventually these thoughts and memories will always come but you won't have any emotional reaction and you won't have that pain and suffering associated with it.
It will just be a memory.
So in other words,
You'll still have the memory of the action itself.
However,
The associated emotions will not be there.
