Episode 1 What is the mother wound?
Welcome to this 10 part series Unmothered The Mother Wound Beneath High Functioning Anxiety I'm really glad you're here today.
Whether you stumbled across this series or came here intentionally searching for clarity and healing I want you to know this space is for you.
This is the start of something important something healing and hopeful.
Today we're going to explore a concept that may already live in your bones even if you've never had a name for it.
I want to talk to you about something many high achieving women carry quietly inside them.
The Mother Wound.
It's a kind of emotional pain that often goes unseen but deeply shapes how we feel about ourselves our worth and even how we show up in the world.
So what exactly is the Mother Wound?
It's the emotional pain,
Trauma or grief that comes from having a ruptured or unfulfilled relationship with your mother that in some way didn't meet your deepest needs.
That is something that might sound simple but it runs deep.
Our mother is meant to be our first source of safety,
Comfort and mirroring.
She's our first home.
When that relationship is absent chaotic,
Emotionally unsafe or overly dependent,
It can leave a lasting imprint on our nervous system our sense of self and our ability to feel worthy.
Let's break this down.
Maybe your mother was dealing with her own struggles trauma or emotional limitations.
Maybe she wasn't able to offer you the nurturing safety or unconditional love that every child deserves.
When that happens it leaves a kind of wound.
Sometimes it looks like emotional neglect like feeling unseen or unheard.
Or maybe it shows up as enmeshment where you felt too responsible for her emotions or had to manage her feelings more than your own.
Sometimes it's feeling like love was conditional something you had to earn by being perfect,
Pleasing or succeeding.
Other times the wound is wrapped up in comparison or criticism where your unique self was dismissed or measured against someone else's expectations.
That someone else could have been a sibling.
Now let's be clear,
This isn't about blaming your mother.
This is something that comes up when I'm working with women in a one to one capacity.
They feel bad they feel guilty or they feel like a terrible person for talking about their mother.
So once again,
Let me be clear,
This isn't about blaming your mother.
This is about understanding what you experienced so that you can begin to heal those parts of you that were left waiting for love and validation.
And here's the thing,
If you identify as a high achiever,
Someone who's responsible,
Maybe even a perfectionist,
You're not alone.
Many of us learned early on that our worth had to be earned.
That love was tied to performance.
On the outside,
You might look like you have it all together,
Always getting things done,
But inside there's this constant anxious energy,
A feeling that one mistake,
Just one mistake could mean losing respect or love.
That's high functioning anxiety.
The silent struggle many women carry for many years.
You become the woman who does,
Who achieves,
Who meets every expectation but rarely feels like you can rest or just be.
You may have learned to seek your sense of worth from what you do,
Not who you are.
The narrative you develop is,
I'll be loved when I'm useful.
I'm safe when I'm achieving.
My needs make me a problem.
Emotions aren't safe,
They're too much.
Let me ask you this,
If you feel safe right now,
Take a moment and think back to your childhood.
What did you long to feel from your mother?
What did you long to feel from your mother?
Was it safety?
Warmth?
Validation?
Unconditional acceptance?
That longing matters.
Your story matters.
This series is here to hold space for you as you begin to make room for those parts of yourself that still need love.
You are not broken,
You adapted.
And now together,
We will start untangling what was never yours to carry.
Thank you for being here today.
If you're feeling a little raw after this episode,
That's perfectly normal.
Allow yourself to release any and all emotions without judgment,
Without criticism,
Without holding it back.
You've been holding onto it for years.
It's time to begin letting it go and this is the best place for it.
In our next episode,
We'll explore how the mother wound actually shows up in your everyday life.
Until then,
Take good care of yourself.
