Morning Motivation: You Were Never Meant To Perform

Have you noticed how somewhere along the way you stopped being the real you not because you chose to but because life slowly quietly trained you to perform to be careful to be proper to be impressive to be acceptable and the wild barefoot version of you the one who climbed into strange corners explored messy places and didn't overthink a single move got tucked away under layers of expectations you never consciously agreed to before life taught you to analyze yourself you simply lived before people taught you how to be clean and controlled you were curious and unfiltered before the world graded your existence you didn't even know how to care what they thought and today we're not trying to go back to childhood we're going back to the freedom we lost on the way to adulthood so take a slow breath settle your shoulders and let this story remind you of the self you never outgrew you just stopped choosing so stay with me as we walk back into the wildness the innocence and the truth so when I was a child I played hide-and-seek like it was a profession I'm sure we all did not the clean cute version you see in movies I mean climbing into old construction sites sliding behind rusted metal sheets hiding under broken staircases squeezing into places no adult would approve of I would come home with dust in my nails mud on my knees and joy written all over my face because back then I wasn't scared of getting dirty I wasn't scared of being seen in the wrong place I wasn't scared of what people will think I was just alive curious exploring every corner of the world that called my name and then quietly slowly the world started teaching me a different game don't play there it's dirty be proper be clean don't embarrass yourself what will people say and just like that the training begins not training to be yourself but training to be acceptable training to perform to look right to be someone who wouldn't be judged because the truth is nobody talks about the day innocence ends it's not one moment it's a thousand tiny corrections that teach one big lesson it's not safe to be you it's safer to be approved and then growing up I was often the center of attraction but in the wrong way not for brilliance not for talent but for being the boy who caused trouble the one who teachers sighed about the one who didn't quite fit the choreography of what a good student looked like and maybe that's why the day I won my first award in a painting competition that tiny plastic trophy something cracked open in me not because of the award itself but because it was the first time someone said I see you and when you've spent years feeling unseen validation tastes like the sweetest fruit and the most intoxicating drug I chased that feeling so much so that once I stole money from my dad just to be noticed not to buy anything meaningful not out of greed but because somewhere inside I believed that attention was the currency of worth but the day I handed that money over at least whatever that was left something unexpected happened I didn't see shame I didn't see rebellion I saw myself and right next to me I saw my father in a way I'd never seen him before not as the strict man not as the voice of discipline but as someone who just like me was trying to find order in his own chaos trying to be seen in a world that told him to stay silent sometimes the first time you truly meet your parents is the moment you disappoint them because that's when the masks fall yours and theirs and then comes the corporate race where you don't just perform you polish your performance you speak in the tone that keeps you safe you dress in the way that earns respect you hide your true self in slides and spreadsheets until even you forget who's behind the keyboard corporate life isn't the enemy but the version of you that you abandoned to survive it is because deep down beneath the job titles beneath the deadlines beneath the polished LinkedIn self there's still that kid who used to hide in dusty places not out of fear but out of freedom and somewhere between childhood and adulthood between dirt and discipline between play and performance we forget one of the simplest truths life is not a choreography life is a dance it reminds me when I was 7 or 8 I was in a school dance performance the teacher gave us the steps the timing the costumes the moves we practiced and practiced not for ourselves but so the audience would clap we dance for the people watching us not for the joy inside us and if they had said dance the way you feel the entire performance would have changed it would have been messy chaotic magical a room full of children moving like they were alive not like they were being graded but that's what life becomes when you stop caring what people think it becomes Leela the divine play movement without fear expression without performance living without holding your breath and here we are now as adults with responsibilities expectations history and a mind that has been trained to care about every opinion except our own but here's the truth your freedom didn't leave you just stopped choosing it the same freedom that lets you hide in dusty places the same courage that lets you explore anything the same innocence that danced without choreography it's all still here under the fear under the pressure under the performance under the person you learn to be so the world would approve and the moment you stop caring what the world thinks of your dance is the moment you remember you were born to move freely so pause with me here right in this soft honest space you've opened inside yourself right now place a hand gently on your chest and let these words echo through you I do not dance for approval I dance because I'm alive I do not move to be accepted I move to be real let it settle let it become part of you let it remind you of who you were before the world taught you to shrink so take a slow breath and let this land gently inside you you do not owe the world a polished version of yourself you owe yourself the freedom you had long before you learned the word reputation you were not here to match the choreography of people who never learned how to dance their own truth you are here to move to explore to stumble to rise to get messy to get real to live like the child who trusted life before they ever learned to impress it and if a part of you feels afraid to let go that's okay fear is just the mind remembering old lessons freedom is your body remembering the truth so today walk into your life with one quiet intention let me dance one move that is mine if this message shifted something in you if it helped you breathe a little deeper see yourself a little clearer I'd love to hear from you your reflections mean a lot and if you ever feel called to go deeper into the layers beneath the thoughts beneath the expectations beneath the weight you carry you may find something beautiful waiting for you inside my courses it's called alive again it's not a course about becoming someone new it's about coming home to who you've always been take it if you feel the pull skip it if you don't either way your journey matters for now take one last breath in and let the freedom inside you exhale you were never meant to be perfect you were meant to be alive