Change: Your Understanding Of How Change Happens

So the topic that I want to explore with you,

As I mentioned,

That's often unexamined and not considered is,

What is our personal understanding of change?

Our theory of change.

Our personal theory of change.

Like,

How do you relate to change in your life?

How do you make change happen?

Is it about changing yourself?

Is this the way that you relate to change?

Are you relating it to changing others?

Changing in the family dynamic?

In your community?

Are you relating to change as it relates to community?

Are you thinking of change from a societal level or world change?

We're all of us operating under some theory,

Some assumption about how change happens,

And so I really want to look at this together.

Something that I haven't framed change in this way before.

I encounter a lot of people in this practice as a facilitator in this practice who want to change,

But they don't look at or haven't looked at their understanding of how change happens.

They haven't looked at their belief on how change is actually happening.

Some belief is running in the background when change is happening.

So how is change supposed to happen?

Are you in command?

You're like the driver of change?

What's your understanding?

To really start to look at that.

And we have to take a good look at ourselves.

We have to see.

It begins with seeing.

It really does begin with this practice that we do of seeing.

You know,

How do we understand the current circumstances in our world as it relates to change?

How do we understand them?

Are we the driver?

You know,

Do we see the sky is falling?

Is the sky falling for you in the current world?

Do you see the world as burning and there's nowhere to run?

Is what you see hopeless and therefore we just have to give up?

Or do we see the fires that are happening in the world,

The things that are happening?

Well,

Nobody else is doing anything,

So I've got to do it.

I've got to do it.

We should do it.

There's a should in there.

Do we see the world as where goodness prevails?

The arc of the universe is towards goodness?

Or do we see the world as evil prevails?

We're moving towards fascism and we're having another situation like in World War II.

Like,

How are we interpreting the world?

How are we seeing it?

It's very important,

This reflection.

And are we seeing it accurately?

Are we seeing it accurately?

Because,

You know,

Oftentimes there's a belief running or we're influenced by our community,

Our culture,

The people that we spend time with.

You know,

We often see certain things and ignore other things.

This is the kind of the way that we operate.

There are preferences that go into the way that we see.

There are preferences.

So this is where our meditation practice is really useful,

Because as we sit still,

The practice can assist us to see clearly.

Vipassana means clear seeing.

To see clearly.

What's going on in my seeing?

What am I filtering experience through?

You know,

What projections are happening in my mind?

What preferences are operating?

What's running in the background of my experience?

What's running in the background?

And often we see ourselves through the lens of our society.

You know what others expect of us?

What we expect of ourselves?

We compare ourselves with other members of our communities.

Well,

They're all going to the protest,

So I better go to the protest,

Right?

So that's also operating.

Doing the right thing according to our community.

That comparing mind.

I suspect that our understanding of ourselves on some level is shaped by who we're associating with,

Who we're comparing ourselves with.

So when we're comparing,

Is that view accurate?

Are we seeing ourselves clearly?

I don't think so.

I know that I don't see myself clearly when I'm in the comparing mind.

If you do,

You can take the seat.

Change is often seen as happening with having a vision.

Having a vision.

You know,

If you have a great and wonderful vision,

One that you can really stand behind,

It's more likely to happen,

Right?

And if your vision is that there is danger,

And there is fear,

And there are these terrible people,

These immigrants who are committing horrible things to you,

And taking away your jobs,

And taking away your freedoms,

If that's the vision,

Then likely some people will vote for you.

That will be the trajectory,

Right?

If we have a vision of peace in the world,

A vision of a world where people are generous,

Like here,

Kind to each other,

Supporting one another,

Caring for each other,

Then that vision,

Subconsciously,

Begins an orientation in that direction.

Trusting that.

So this is also,

Like,

So as we look at,

You know,

How does change happen,

And what is your vision?

What vision do you live by?

What sense of future do you live by?

Is it one that is inspiring to you,

Or that deflates you?

Is it realistic,

Or is it much more of a fantasy?

This is an important reflection.

What is your vision?

With our current political climate,

And the direction of our country,

And really our world,

I know a lot of us feel like we want to react,

But we're not considering,

In our responses,

The relationship to change.

We get angry,

Like we all go to the protest,

Because we think that that protest is going to cause change.

Is that how change happens,

The protest?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It doesn't seem that way,

Does it?

I'd like to think it does make a difference,

But is it?

You know,

If we look at the whole scenario of our life,

How dire it is in some ways,

Because we're all heading out,

Some of us sooner than later,

It can be so overwhelming.

And we think that if we take a sledgehammer to whatever's going on,

Like power through,

Or get control,

Maybe,

You know,

Maybe we can affect change.

But maybe,

My teacher suggested that maybe it's not a sledgehammer.

Maybe it's more like an acupuncture pin.

Maybe it's just like a little drop.

And that's the point that will make a difference.

I love that possibility.

Do we have a story that somebody else is responsible for change?

You know,

We have this idea that if we want peace,

Those people there are supposed to do it.

Right?

Those other people.

You know,

What is our role?

What is our role?

And what is our contribution?

I think it's quite common that we push our ideas and our agendas of change onto others.

This is what needs to happen.

Who hasn't heard that?

Like everyone,

Everyone here needs to go to that political rally.

We all need to show up in force.

We all have to be involved in the change that we want to see.

But you know,

In my own experience,

If I really want somebody to hear me and to do something for me,

I have a strong need.

Rather than demanding it or expecting it or pushing it,

If I have a need,

I offer that same need to others.

So for example,

If I want to be heard,

If I want to be heard,

Then I will make an effort to hear others.

To really understand and make sure that they feel heard.

And maybe,

Just maybe,

If they feel heard and they feel safe,

They will listen to me also.

It doesn't always work that way.

But I know one thing,

We cannot push our ideas on others.

We cannot.

This is the biggest learning in having a teenager in my house.

We cannot.

It's not how change happens.

It's not.

And we can't make people change by shaming them.

This was my thesis in college.

We cannot shame people into change.

So rather than attempting to make change happen with hostility and animosity,

In this Buddhist meditation practice that we collectively do,

We look at our ethics.

The ethics of the practice are really simple.

Cause as little harm as possible.

And when you cause harm,

Clean it up.

It's not complicated.

You don't even have to write it down.

Am I causing harm?

Yes,

I am.

Can I clean it up?

Yes,

I can.

That's it.

Very,

Very simple.

Non-harming.

And you know what?

It takes practice.

It takes practice.

It's a very high bar,

This meditation that we do,

This Buddhist practice.

But the practice itself can help us shift from the mind being distracted to being collected.

Over and again,

We're training it.

We're training in concentration.

From preoccupation of the mind.

From the judgment to just here with this breath.

From the fear in the mind and the hostility in the mind to get settled.

It's not happening right now,

That fear,

That hostility.

I can get settled now.

They don't have to go away.

The fear,

The hostility,

The anger,

The judgment.

They can all be part of your human experience.

But it's broader.

When we practice,

We broaden the scope of our being.

It's not so narrow.

Our view is not so selective.

And many people,

And I'm sure you know them,

And maybe you're one of them,

Have a narrow view of the world.

You know,

We have a narrow view of the world.

We're seeing the world through a particular interpretation and ideas.

This is the way that the world is.

This is what needs to happen.

And the function of meditation is to widen that narrow view.

To a bigger,

Wider,

More expansive vision.

Wider the sense of wholeness.

Like widen that sense.

And when we do that,

We're more likely to see all of the ways in which we project and have our views and opinions.

What we think we can control.

We're more likely to see,

Well,

What is my view of change?

My understanding of change and how change happens.

We begin to see more clearly our biases,

Our preconceived ideas.

And it's not always the good news when we start to see these things.

It's kind of like,

Oh,

I really don't like that about myself.

But it is the good news that we're seeing.

It's like,

Okay,

I don't have to act on this mind that wants to cause harm.

I don't have to act on it.

So with the time that's remaining,

I would like to consider this question.

What is your theory of change?

How does change happen?

Is it somebody else?

Is it you?

Do you have a theory of change?

What is your vision of the world?

Does the arc of time lean towards justice?

Or does it look like we're not going to have a world very soon?

And we're going to move into fascism.

Do you think that somebody else is responsible for change?

Are we outsourcing our change to somebody else?

How do you understand what's happening in the current world?

So let's explore this together.

And thank you for your willingness.