What Really Wants To End When Hopelessness Turns To Despair

Years ago,

I was deep in my inner work.

Meditating,

Studying,

Confronting old beliefs,

And gradually reclaiming my power from the victim consciousness I'd carried since childhood.

But then I hit a wall.

Out of nowhere,

I was feeling meaningless,

Afraid,

And deeply powerless.

I was terrified.

It triggered a long,

Dark emotional spiral.

I was doing everything right,

Yet I was feeling stuck.

I wanted to end my life.

Those thoughts of ending it all were creeping up from out of nowhere.

The fear felt so real,

So overwhelming.

I even questioned what was the meaning of my life.

Though I didn't act on it,

Thoughts of ending my life had emerged.

That was my red flag.

That's when my spiritual teacher said something that shifted everything.

You don't want to die,

Mikael.

It's not you.

It's the pattern inside of you that wants to die.

The victim,

The fear,

The pain.

It's that old identity unraveling and coming to the surface because it needs to be released to die,

So to speak.

You're still identifying with it,

So it feels like it's you.

That realization cracked something open.

The hopelessness wasn't my truth.

It was a dying identity I'd inherited,

A survival pattern passed down through my family,

And now standing in my truth was causing it to surface,

React,

And resist.

That's why the fear felt so intense,

And I couldn't figure out why or where it was coming from.

It was my victim ego's final grasp.

In order for me to dissolve this,

Reaching out for spiritual help was essential.

The ego can't fix it because the ego is it.

Only your soul,

Your spirit,

Can guide you through this scattered,

Disempowering time into a sacred dismantling.

I've seen this with many clients.

When a person is at the edge,

It often is a breakthrough disguised as a breakdown.

The voice that says,

I want to die,

Is usually the pain speaking,

Not the person.

When you realize that,

You take your power back.

So breathe into your truth.

Remember who you are.

The part of you that's in crisis isn't broken.

It's trying to transform.

The old victim consciousness is ready to crumble and die.

Let it.

And in its place,

Your soul shall rise,

And hope will be reborn.

It's essential to stop identifying with the role of the weak victim.

That identity is rooted in the ego and must dissolve.

It's not who you truly are.

You are a powerful,

Majestic spiritual being,

And it's time to reclaim that truth.