There is a deep belief in us that we can control whatever happens outside and that deep belief has deepened the misunderstanding that for me to be happy,
For me to be peaceful for me to not suffer things outside,
For instance people and situations need to be morphed,
Molded to fit my expectations so we spend most of our lives,
Most of our energy trying to fix what is outside to make it align with what we want,
What the mind wants so it's a two-fold that we hold suffering first that we hold our happiness,
Our peace hostage for something that will happen in the future and second that something needs to happen outside somewhere so now we put our energy to make that something happens and maybe this doesn't sound absurd to you because that's just the normal quote-unquote normal way of living,
Operating in life but the suffering that we experience on a regular,
Regular basis,
Frustration,
Helplessness is a testimonial that something's wrong and of course the mind might appropriate this and say something is wrong with him,
With her,
With that,
Let me go fix it something is wrong but that wrong is not outside and it wouldn't even be categorized as wrong because we just don't know what to do,
We just know one way of operating which is forcing things to happen forcing people,
Forcing situations,
Forcing actions and then demanding fulfillment,
Peace at the most what we get is relief,
Relief from the tension that we created in our own minds by keeping our own happiness and peace hostage that's the extent of what we get relief in the process we sacrifice the sanity of our minds the energy of our body and the harmony of our life and the body ends up with some dis-ease because the mind is constantly obsessed so I have these three pillars of my teaching,
Of what I have to offer one is clarity,
The other is congruence and the third is harmony and the peace,
Clarity is so important where clarity comes from understanding from deep seeing from deep observation of how things are from the truth once we see that we cannot control what's outside,
We cannot control the winds,
We cannot control the waves we cannot control traffic,
We cannot control how people drive,
We cannot control how people our parents,
Our kids act what they do,
What they believe in most of the things are out of our control forcing them to happen is like banging your head on a stone wall only you will bleed in suffering the thing that is in our control,
That we are free to do is to understand align ourselves to recognize this,
To have clarity and then be congruent with this clarity think,
Feel and act according to this clarity to have inner congruence it would not be wise to know that we cannot control most of the things and yet we spend most of our time and energy trying to force people into doing something or trying to force situations into happening or disappearing imagine you are heading somewhere,
You want to go somewhere and you are going to drive there so now you turn on your maps app and you put the destination and the route that you know is completely red because there's so much traffic but out of habit you decide to take this route anyway then you're caught in traffic that's when the suffering begins because we think the traffic is unnecessary,
This person is stupid,
Why would they do this,
Why would they drive this way etc.
Etc.
And we are stuck we are fooling ourselves that we are trying,
The mental forcing is in effect but things are not happening things happen on their own,
The traffic happens on its own and the traffic resolves on its own I'm amazed to see so many times on interstate once I'm out of traffic I realize that why did the traffic even happen here,
There's no accident it's mind-boggling how things happen and things resolve but our mind is trying to force things while the other option would be when you see the traffic on your maps and you really want to go somewhere,
That's the piece of clarity,
You should know where you want to go otherwise you'll just resort to habits and once you see the traffic you can decide to take an alternate route and get to where you want to go same is true about how we are leading our life once we understand that we can't force things to happen,
We can't force people into action the other option is to navigate situations,
That's where skill is necessary,
That's where education is necessary,
So there's no resistance from the mind when I say you can't force people to act a certain way because the mind believes,
Truly believes that it can we can't make kids act a certain way,
Forget about adults the clarity of the understanding coupled with the congruence of the skills of the execution of the clarity brings about such deep sense of peace even while doing complex things because we are not trying to force things,
We are efficient with our energy,
With our time because we can take a step back and decide,
We are not married to any solutions,
Any habituated patterns we can take alternate routes when we see traffic because we are not interested in perpetuating our habits,
We are interested in going there we all have projects at home,
In our relationships,
At work,
The projects need to deliver something,
For something to happen not everything needs to be an uphill battle,
For that we need eyes to see,
To see the options,
To the sensitivity,
To recognize some options are bad and some options are great and the courage to choose the uncertain,
Unhabituated option just because there is a possibility of it happening the third pillar,
Harmony,
Is extremely important because let's say the mind is completely sold on this idea that it can make things happen,
It can make people act you can't make people like you you can't have love in your relationships,
You can't have friendship in your relationships you can't make your kids look up to you if you use force harmony is when things happen effortlessly and the effortless is not the physical effort but it's the lack of mental drain of banging our head on the wall this entire three-pillar approach of clarity,
Congruence and harmony is a very and extremely intimate process the first step of clarity is dependent upon how open we are for something new the humility that i might not know this,
I don't know this,
And even if i think i know there is something more to know,
Not as a concept but as a living experience of being humble,
Being open,
Being a student of life humility is a sign of wisdom,
Openness is a sign of wisdom,
Arrogance is a sign of being an animal aggression is a sign of being an animal,
It has its own place but at that point we are in jungle as long as we are identified with what we know as long as our identity is invested in our education,
In our college,
In our accumulation of possessions,
Mental and physical,
In our skills,
In our information arrogance is natural because that's our identity and we don't want to be threatened but if you recognize yourself as the witness,
The presence and your possessions,
Your skills as fluid,
Changing,
Evolving finessing attributes,
There's nothing personal humility is a sign of wisdom and also a sign of allegiance to truth truth of who you are without the openness,
Without the humility,
Getting clarity is very difficult,
If clarity needs to take us to harmony,
Needs to take us to congruence,
A lot of the times what we want,
What the mind wants,
The end goal becomes the driving force,
Becomes the thing that dictates what we should do and we discipline our way,
Brute force our way into getting it and no wonder we suffer along the way and we at the most get relief after we get what we want,
If we end up getting what we want but to lead a life of clarity,
Congruence,
Inner congruence and outer harmony humility and openness is a must,
Being a student of life is a must truth is a must in order to implement this clarity so that our thoughts,
Our actions,
Our feelings are congruent with it,
It requires a lot of courage courage to stay true to your understanding courage to pick what your heart wants,
What your understanding dictates,
Not what is easy,
Not what is habituated if you ever thought living a peaceful,
Happy,
Fulfilled life was easy,
It's not it's not for the faint-hearted the courage is needed for us to understand and take that understanding into actions and congruence happens and it's not a binary thing whether you are congruent or not,
Congruence is an ever-growing,
Deepening experience as things become more and more clear,
Your life becomes more and more congruent and once you understand that it's grace that makes us open humble otherwise why isn't everyone listening to these words it's because you are ripe and you are ripe because of grace when your eyes see something,
That is grace not everyone is seeing it and once you see it you need to summon the courage that is within you to facilitate congruence and as we start becoming more and more congruent the perfume starts spreading around us there's harmony between you and other people and events and actions but you also are cognizant of the fact that it is extremely difficult to let go of your habits of the easy of being an animal it's difficult to be human to be wise,
It's very easy to be animal so there's empathy when we are interacting with others gratitude and empathy go hand in hand because you recognize that how lucky you are to be able to see it to be able to do something about it to be able to be happy and peaceful all the sharp round corners start rounding off our entire life becomes a dance of clarity,
Congruence,
Harmony on the stage of openness,
Courage empathy and gratitude thank you
