Freedom Is One Step Away

We begin with grace,

Asking for grace,

Asking for the Creator's grace,

For Amma's grace,

For this warm golden grace in which we live our lives.

We live in unconditional love,

Made out of unconditional love.

May we feel this more and more.

May we breathe it,

Allow it,

Live it,

Express it.

And may we have great patience and compassion for the cells of our bodies that have been conditioned into alienation.

And may we have the courage and patience to allow that conditioning to dissolve,

Because it's not real,

So that we deepen more and more into experiencing the grace of unconditional love.

And may heaven celebrate our efforts.

And may our efforts be enough that makes heaven want to celebrate us.

Yeah.

How about that?

Yeah.

Okay.

Jai Ma.

Yeah.

Hmm.

You know,

I told you the story of,

It was Yogananda's teacher,

Or Yogananda's teacher's teacher,

Who,

His wife came into the room in the middle of night,

And he was praying,

Being surrounded by angels that were bowing down to him,

Because he was living the truth on the very rough earth plane.

And that is considered high,

Beyond high.

You know,

We feel like miserable sinners.

But if we actually live in truth,

We get celebrated by heaven.

And it's considered higher,

Even than the angelic realm.

I'm not kidding you guys.

Yeah,

I want you to get your minds around that.

Because if you can't accept it,

You'll have trouble really bringing forth your divinity.

If you can't accept it,

You've got the split of the mind-body split,

Of the,

You know,

Heaven and earth split.

And there isn't one,

Really.

In fact,

When you,

When you wake up,

It turns into heaven here.

Yeah,

I can feel this.

It's like a whole bunch of grade one students who have just filed in,

And they started teaching the alphabet,

And they're looking,

They're going,

What?

Okay,

You guys,

I don't want to upset you guys.

You're very dear.

Oh,

My goodness.

Premasutra has been so,

Cooking so much in the spiritual realm these past days.

Yeah.

So,

Anyway,

Blessings to you guys.

We're all doing our best,

Including Premasutra,

Believe me.

Yeah,

Really.

We're all,

You know,

We're all just dancing.

Yeah.

But think about that,

Because it's true.

And even in,

You know,

Wherever I read it,

Whether it's Yogananda's biography or something,

He'd said that,

Basically.

Right.

We have our church steeples,

You know,

Going up,

As if God lives somewhere else other than here on the earth,

With us sweating human beings.

And it's not true.

The real heart of the journey is in the blood,

Sweat,

And tears of the human being.

And so,

Many of us have trouble accepting our humanity,

Or accepting,

You know,

Humanity in general,

Which is understandable in a way,

Considering what's going on.

But it's how we get to the divine,

Is by accepting our humanity.

We can't bring it in without doing that.

Right.

Okay.

There's a key here.

There's a key.

This is really good.

There's a key.

And some of you are letting it in right where you're split.

It's beautiful.

That's it.

You are one.

You are divine and human.

It's one.

It's one thing.

Right.

It's like talking again to a class of princes and princesses who think they're orphans.

You guys have got very hungry hearts today.

You can really feel it.

Hungry,

Hungry hearts.

Yeah.

Pouring it in.

Pouring it in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Really.

Yeah.

You know,

Jenna made a beautiful clip,

And I will send it out to you guys.

And in it,

I talk about how weedy what I did was,

Like sending love to my hands and sending messages above my light switches and gratitude and on my cups.

And when I look back,

That weedy stuff was the most powerful thing.

Because as I say in the tape,

If you're willing to look foolish in service of the divine,

You could achieve enlightenment.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

You can get that.

Good.

It's really true.

And I remember the years and years where it just seemed like it was taking forever for very small steps,

You guys.

But what happens is it snowballs,

And it gets bigger and bigger,

And you get more and more periods of light.

You get more and more understanding.

Okay,

Well,

May the healing that comes as a result of this satsang be extraordinary.

Because the universe is pouring the love in.

Anybody who's seen Amma recently knows this.

It's just so wanting to help us.

To any flicker of opening.

It's like anybody who's tried to feed a baby,

You know,

Who doesn't want to eat.

You get the spoon in when you can.

It's the same thing.

This is what the universe is doing with us.

I had an experience of this myself.

We're going to move into questions.

But I was looking for my phone,

And I looked all around my place,

And I found it on my chair.

You know,

Like when I've got nice chairs for clients and me to sit.

It's kind of like my throne.

I found my phone on my own throne.

I had to go back to my throne to find it.

Okay,

You guys,

You have to go back to your value.

It's all sitting there on the throne for you.

You have to be willing to accept that you have a throne that's kind of waiting for you.

The throne of your self-realization.

The throne of realizing that you're a divine being.

Right.

And that's where my phone was.

And I thought to myself,

Ah,

Pramasutra.

I don't know if you all understand it.

The other thing,

Big insight this week was home has home in it.

English.

Home is our home.

But you love English.

I know.

That's why we love home.

The home.

Okay,

You guys.

Does anybody want to come forward without being nagged into it?

Maxi,

Is that you?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Oh,

I think I'm like in the most painful pain I've ever felt.

It feels really,

Really tough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I was asking the group to send some love.

I think I could need some.

Yeah.

It feels really.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Oh,

Here's some more.

Lots of people probably don't know how to send them.

Don't know what button to press.

I see you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is your man departed?

Is this what's happened?

Yeah,

That too.

But I think it's part of the pain.

But still,

I feel like it's like a bigger,

Even deeper pain coming up.

So I think it's.

Yeah.

It's been like for three days.

Yeah.

It's been cooking intensively.

Yeah.

And it's to embrace the resistance that is there.

That's what I could feel like an hour ago that I really have problems to really embrace everything there is.

So when I'm in the pain and I'm just like having this pain baby,

And I kind of feel like forgetting all of what you have taught us to do,

Like not all of it,

But it seems so hard for me to really embrace it,

Like my state fully embrace it.

It's just.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's what your question is,

Or what's your question,

Sweet one?

I don't think I really have a question.

Yeah,

It feels lighter already just talking about it,

Exposing it.

Yeah.

It's just.

Yeah.

You see,

There's part of the problem I feel is like the way you approach life.

It's like there's a level that you haven't woken up enough to take full responsibility for your life.

You're still operating at,

Well,

I want to find a way to navigate where I do good.

And I,

You know,

Get my needs met.

And,

You know,

I'm constructive and can cope with four kids,

Which is just unbelievable to be on the journey and working and have four kids.

Like you are celebrated.

Please believe me.

Maxie,

You're celebrated.

Okay.

Okay.

Can you get this?

So this is no criticism from Pramasutha.

No,

I get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You understand what I'm saying to you too?

There's a level that when you really get on the journey,

You're just unconditionally moving into truth.

And you do it with your career,

You do it with kids,

You just do it.

And you have trouble with that.

And for obvious reasons,

Sweetie,

Like it's like you're like,

It's,

You're not to be pushed at all.

Okay.

Yeah,

I can.

Yeah,

You can.

Sorry.

I can feel this trouble.

Yeah,

I know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

Yes.

So as long as you're not doing this fully unconditional thing,

It will be hard for you to just fully embrace your pain and resistance.

You will be trying to do damage control trying to do fix it trying to do all kinds of things.

You see?

Right.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

This is good,

Because you can hear this and still feel loved.

I'm really glad about this.

Yeah.

Okay,

That is a huge achievement,

Maxi,

To be able to hear this and still feel loved.

And that's what's going to bring you into truth the quickest.

Do you see that you guys?

That is the answer.

It's when we do that.

We just let ourselves be loved.

That's it.

I think you'll feel better,

Right?

You'll feel better after the group.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm lifting some strings of dark,

They're threads of dark self punishment off you.

Like I'm pulling these threads out of your tapestry.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

So you might find that you witness these after,

You know,

In the days after you might notice these threads of self punishment,

And you will see them and you won't indulge.

Do you see?

Mm hmm.

Okay,

This is the power of the work,

You guys.

Prama Sutta lifts some threads off,

Maxi will see it,

And won't indulge in them,

Unless she really wants to go up river,

You know,

Fight the flow.

You see,

This is the power.

This is the subtlety of the female face of God work.

And it's so invisible,

Which is why it doesn't get seen,

And why it gets underestimated.

So this is why Prama Sutta is spelling it out more now,

Because it's tired of the underestimation.

Not personally,

But I just want this energy to do the maximum work with you guys possible.

Do you see?

It has the best effect possible.

Yeah.

So I'm pulling these several threads,

And you're sort of saying to me,

Go for it.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Yeah.

So I'm pulling these threads out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

And they were being used to kind of keep you in denial,

Like keep you a little numbed out,

More numbed out than you need to be.

You've got,

I can feel it,

The universe wants you to rise up.

You're going to,

Maxi,

Don't worry.

Okay.

There's no doubt,

You're going to.

Okay.

So just,

But you will really know what I'm talking about.

If you don't already now,

You will.

Yeah.

And this,

Receiving this help and the love from the group is exactly part of this preparation.

You guys,

I think this may be,

We may be all being called to rise up.

Okay.

Like it's really strong with Pramasutra right now about that.

I'm so feeling it.

So you may all feel it,

But certainly Maxi is being asked to allow a significant rise in vibration.

And it's like,

While she has the time to do it,

I know you're busy already,

But it's like,

I don't know what the future is going to be like.

It's getting like,

You've got the time to do it now.

You've got the support.

Yeah.

That helps me because I've been thinking about career and getting the steps done to open for my patients,

But I feel so much resistance to do it.

So it's,

Here I have some.

Okay.

So were you blaming yourself for this resistance?

I'm asking.

Yes.

Okay.

Hey,

You guys,

This is the key.

This is the miserable sinner stuff.

Yeah.

Right.

Because actually it's like the universe is asking Maxi to rise in vibration.

That's probably impossible to do if she gets really right into the business right away to do what you were talking about doing.

She needs a space to rise in vibration.

And you,

You had asked for a phone call and I sort of flopped you off,

But now we could have it.

Maxi,

Think about what I've said and when you're ready for help with this rise in vibration,

Let me know and we'll speak to it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And I'm leaving on the 23rd for India January 23rd.

So before then,

Hopefully.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good.

Good.

You,

You guys will probably hear that Premasiddhi is teaching differently.

It's different.

We are really being accelerated and it's really important.

Okay.

Thank you,

Maxi.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Hi,

It's Saskia.

Good morning.

I wanted to share something.

I,

I took a step into truth like a week or two ago during satsang,

You shared an experience where you wrote an email to someone where you had a fight or some misunderstanding.

I don't know,

Something where you wrote the person,

How you felt.

I don't know if you remember.

And something went bing in me and I thought,

Oh yeah,

That feels right.

I have a situation with my parents where it's about inheritance and money.

And I'm usually,

I'm either upset or it's kind of distant and I'm okay with it.

And in this moment,

I thought I had the,

I had the impulse to share my feelings about it.

And so I wrote an email and I wrote just one or two sentences.

So I didn't blame,

I didn't say,

I didn't say anything.

I just said how I feel.

So I wrote,

I just wanted to say how I feel about that.

And I said,

I feel it makes me feel worthless.

And it made,

That makes me feel sad.

And it was very difficult for me to say or to write that because we don't talk about that in my parents' family.

And it was,

I don't know,

I felt very exposed,

But then I send it up and right away my dad called and it was funny.

It was in the middle of Amma's live stream.

So I had my phone off.

So he called apparently five times.

He called Michael and then Michael called me.

So he was very eager to call me and it was,

Oh,

I tell you,

He didn't,

He was very defensive.

Why do I say that?

And this and this and yeah,

But he was very,

And he wasn't sure,

You know,

I can't even get to my mom in person.

So he wasn't sure he would show my mom because my mom avoids all computers.

Anyway,

I was very,

He said,

Why do I feel like that?

And I said,

I don't know how I feel.

That's just how I feel.

I was very calm.

And then he noticed in the end that I wasn't blaming.

I was really just expressing that.

And he was,

He,

In the end,

I think he was good with a book with,

I don't know,

Whatever he makes with it,

But it was,

It didn't do anything with him,

But it was really,

Really good for me.

I felt good about it.

And I could feel a little like a,

A hair size crack in his armor.

I could feel that.

And then we finished the phone call and I thought,

Okay,

And,

But what it did,

And I think that's why it's difficult sometimes to go into truth.

It opened a whole,

A whole wound in me.

It kept working.

And there was a lot of feelings of,

You know,

Being ignored,

Jealousy,

Like all feeling with my family came up and I went through them.

And the nice thing is they were really tough.

And I thought,

Well,

Yeah,

But I went through them.

But the nice thing is they didn't affect my now family life.

So,

I mean,

I feel them and they are there.

It's not that I don't feel them.

I feel them in my heart,

But they don't,

I don't have to live them with my family now with my husband or my children now.

You're containing them.

Yes.

Yes.

You guys are really important.

You contain and you witness this stuff.

And this is where I go like journaling is just,

So it gets it out of you on a page.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That helps a lot.

Yeah.

Okay.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

You know,

I can feel you're still the hopeful little child that something will happen.

And,

You know,

Sometimes,

Yeah,

Sometimes we just have to like,

I gave up on my family.

Just with their crow magnums,

They have no idea.

You know,

I totally,

I just gave up entirely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I do feel more detached.

And sometimes I've sometimes I feel totally detached.

I feel there's just some more.

Yeah,

I don't know,

Cleaning,

A lot of self-compassion for the little child who's still hopeful that she'll get her needs met from her family.

You know?

Yeah,

I can feel you don't want to do this.

No.

Okay,

No,

You won't like this.

Well,

You want to get what you want.

Underneath.

I can feel it's very strong.

I want to get what I want.

Yeah,

That's me.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

And Premasutha is saying self-compassion.

You see,

I want to get what I want.

It's a desire that's taking you out of the present moment.

And it's deluding you because you think that,

You know,

If you do,

Say,

Get some inheritance,

You'll get,

You know,

The physical money.

And you'll get,

You know,

This will mean that they love you.

And,

You know,

It'll make you happy for a month or something.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

But,

You know,

In a way,

You know,

I think you should just do it the way you feel it should be done.

Do you know?

Yeah.

You know,

Just,

Yeah.

Just follow your own guidance about what to do or not do.

And believe in yourself.

Okay?

Believe in yourself.

Yeah.

I just want to feel in more.

The thing is,

The part of you that's like,

I want what I want.

And yeah,

It's everywhere in your life.

It's not coming from your true self at all.

It's actually you with your family conditioning.

Yeah,

It's conditioned,

Sweetie,

This part of you.

I want what I want.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know,

It can happen that we don't get anything we want.

And sometimes that's the highest good for us.

Because sometimes it's what takes us,

Gives us the ability to deepen.

It forces us to deepen.

I feel like I am muddying your road.

You know what,

You know,

Pramasutra is really,

I mean,

I,

We're,

There's all kinds of life tasks.

There's all kinds of levels of evolution in this journey.

And yeah,

You just follow your own guidance.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give it to just give it to Amman,

Follow your own guidance.

And,

You know,

You're on the right track.

Really,

You're on the right track.

In,

In,

In many ways,

Like in some very deep ways.

I got stuck also in that,

You know,

I put a book out on Amazon,

And it sold like crazy,

And then boom,

Nothing,

And it's zero for a while.

And I so I asked Amma,

What's what's happening?

Why is it?

Why does it stop all of a sudden?

And it was interesting,

She showed me,

She showed me the book in a light,

Like a really strong light.

And then she showed me my physical form in the same light.

So she kind of said,

When when that light is in you,

It'll be in the book,

And only then the book can be out there.

That's how I that's how interpreted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

When you make sense,

Valued and loved,

You know,

Then,

Right.

And this whole thing with the inheritance is like you're saying,

Like,

Makes me feel worthless and unworthy.

So yeah,

Yeah.

So this is what you're clearing,

Because we don't need our families to see our worth,

You guys.

Mine didn't.

I just upset everybody.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think they just can't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You don't need them.

And another thing is,

You know,

You don't need it.

Okay,

This is important.

You don't need this money from them.

You know,

As you move into more truth,

You you'll get your own money.

You'll get your own money.

Yeah,

Right.

Okay.

How do you feel when I say that?

Good.

It feels good.

It's true.

It's true.

It's very true.

Yeah.

Okay.

And it touches my heart very deeply somehow.

It's just money,

But it touches my heart.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Because you're this is kind of your universal birthright.

You see,

You don't need it from your family.

The universe has it for you.

Right.

Yeah,

I know.

It's hard to believe.

It can be very hard to believe,

Saskia.

Yeah.

It's true.

I remember parts in my life,

You know,

Where there was such a struggle to just even put food on my table.

Do you know?

And,

You know,

At that time,

I was very it was in my 20s.

And I was very,

Very unconscious,

And had very low self worth.

And yeah,

And you know,

As I developed,

It got easier and easier.

Yeah.

Yeah,

This,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

Just be with all these feelings.

I can feel the shames in there.

You feel ashamed of this beautiful heart of yours.

You know,

There's no reason to it's,

It's so beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

Saskia,

You have a beautiful,

Beautiful heart.

It's true.

Yeah.

Truly.

I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

I mean,

I think your family's almost psychotic.

Do not see this to not see.

I'll tell you.

Everybody in the family got an inheritance except Saskia.

And Saskia has been very good to her family.

And it's kind of like,

Hello.

And then Saskia's mom had some money put aside for Saskia,

But then she ended up giving it to the the other guy.

Yeah.

It's like,

Hello.

I mean,

It's so psychotic,

But it's like,

Oh,

My goodness.

So I'm kind of like,

Why do you spend time with these people?

I think it's clearing,

It's clearing just old,

Very old jealousy.

I feel that's coming up and clearing.

And that's why I do that,

I think.

Jealousy for the siblings?

My brother.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

But you see,

There's a point where you sometimes you could spend your whole lifetime doing the clearing.

I'll tell you what I did with my dad.

You know,

When I,

You know,

I had this moment,

And it was like,

I went like,

I do not want to spend my life living under the shadow of this man.

Okay,

This is a little bit different from you.

But the principle is the same.

Always feeling second best being a woman who can't even do a career properly and everything.

And I went,

I'm going to use that same quality of ambition that I,

I felt in him,

And I had it.

And I,

I went,

I'm just going to put it to the spiritual journey.

I could have spent my life circling around him.

Yeah.

Right.

I didn't,

I pulled back when I want,

I want to do the same thing he did in business,

But I want to do it spiritually.

Right.

Mm hmm.

Okay.

The,

When we feel envy,

You guys,

It's something we want for ourselves.

And it's also something we can have for ourselves in the best version for us.

Like,

Whatever it is,

I had a friend who went off to the Sorbonne.

I was so jealous.

I ended up using that jealousy energy to take myself to England.

Do you see?

Mm hmm.

I took an action that actually so yeah,

I,

Yeah,

I could have circled around trying to fix the jealousy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

So what is it about your brother that just that he's so gets the treated the best or what is it that you're doing?

Yeah,

It's,

It's,

It's when he was born,

You know,

I could live with my mother not giving me enough milk and not being worthless.

But when he came and got it,

All that just broke me.

That was just what I could live with not getting it.

But why would he all get it?

But you're right.

I also want to get out of that clearance.

It's always Yeah,

I mean,

It is always more clearance.

And,

You know,

I really just goes on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know that the men are better.

They're just better.

You know,

Amma said,

Amma said,

Women in that live stream,

You guys may be heard women are more powerful than men.

And the reason she said it very bluntly,

And the reason that that and this is why men haven't treated women.

Well.

Sorry,

There has to be a moment where we like you are no thing of the China,

We're just trying to find freedom and freedom from everywhere.

Yeah,

You don't have to sit under this.

You can just rise up Saskia.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Just rise up and take the space.

You don't need to labor under this.

This is all ancient history.

By even thinking about it,

You're keeping it going.

Like,

Yeah,

You know what you'd be if you imagine being in Amma's body.

That you guys that anything that frees you,

That frees all your capabilities,

Male or female,

Imagining yourself in Amma's body is is sending your psyche the message that you're wanting your freedom.

Circling around in these stories is like killing you,

Actually.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yep.

But sometimes we have to sit and journal with stuff like Premasutra had in the month of November,

I had some journaling,

I had to do with these feelings that were coming up.

And the thing is,

These feelings ended up becoming love power.

They're actually why this work is now getting more powerful.

Because I wrote all these feelings down,

I felt it all.

And it just changed.

I just kept like,

Well,

Where do I want to go now?

I just want it was sort of like,

I want to,

I just want to get closer to Amma,

Right.

And so this is,

It's just this weaving that I'm talking about.

Don't take this stuff so seriously.

It's coming from other lives too.

It's like sewage coming up to be,

You know,

Cleared up.

Yeah,

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Dried,

So it could flake off.

So you don't have to be so affected by this stuff.

My brother always got the front seat.

Oh,

His legs are longer.

No,

They weren't.

He was a guy.

Yeah,

We need the women to rise up to balance right now.

Yeah.

Okay,

So how do you feel right now?

I'm peaceful.

I feel when you said in Amma's body,

That took that made me feel very peaceful.

The more you do it,

The more you will sponge up her energy.

It is you guys,

It is a tried and true ancient Indian spiritual practice to imagine your body inside the body of your guru.

Premasuddha has done it so much.

Yes,

This is a,

It's a zero to 100 thing.

And,

You know,

I know how captivating the storylines are.

But sweetie,

It's just your mind trying to keep you in an old place.

Okay,

You're so funny.

I got that.

No,

I have to,

I need to take that in.

I know.

I say,

Oh,

Well,

That means Yeah,

I it's true.

I acknowledge it.

And it needs to.

Yes,

I,

You know,

I don't want to be stuck in these old stories.

No,

It's part of how you keep yourself small.

Yeah,

You guys hear all this,

Okay,

Because you'll be doing it too.

It's how we keep ourselves small.

Women in the patriarchy learned it's safe to kind of help bound feet,

Keep yourself small,

Keep your head down.

Okay,

So we do this stuff with our heads.

We go round and round and we keep ourselves small.

Right?

It's also sometimes I'm questioning it because it's also the old lives.

And I'm,

I feel like I don't know where to exit the train of clearance.

Yeah,

But what I'm saying to you is,

This is how the patriarchal woman stays small.

When you decide that you want your full intelligence,

Your full power,

You'll notice a sea change.

And you'll just kind of leave this stuff behind.

You won't even,

It'll just be so irrelevant.

Right?

You're going,

I want to grow,

You do.

It's actually the strongest thing in you that you want to grow.

So it is why I'm very optimistic.

Because it's the strongest thing in you that you want to grow.

And there's part that cells of your body have heard what I'm saying to you.

I can feel it.

You guys,

I think if really,

I think you just keep coming to satsangs,

I think we're all going to rise up in a very noticeable way.

Yeah,

It's true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And just go me too.

And pile your own canoes.

Don't depend on Pramasutra doing the work for you.

But understand that the door is so open right now.

Yeah.

Sweetie,

I could be so circulating in Pramasutra's upbringing,

You know?

Like,

How many years ago?

It was like over 50 years ago.

A lot of it was over 60 years ago.

It's kind of like,

Hello?

Do you want it in the here and now?

Do you want this storyline in the here and now?

Even though it's not contaminating your family?

So I mean,

But get that,

Like,

Let this be the last hurrah.

Because I think it's more likely that when you really let go,

You'll get your inheritance.

You see?

As long as you're like,

Hopeful.

Trying to,

You know,

There was part of you trying to make them see common sense.

I'll just be with it all.

Just be with it all.

I'm seeing you in a week anyway.

So we'll Yes.

Yeah.

So good work,

Though.

You did really good work today.

Yeah.

Thank you.

These storylines,

You guys,

They seem so true.

And I'll tell you what happens.

You have a rebirth.

And it's like it all happened to somebody else.

And it doesn't matter a damn.

It has no impact.

You're just in life number two.

It's like you've been reborn.

You know that you've got a new body and new storyline.

Truly,

It happens like that.

So let that happen.

Yeah.

Right.

You know,

At a pace that works,

Don't worry.

Don't worry.

Premasiddha made such a mess that I had to do this.

Most people do it more organically.

And that's a good thing.

So it takes longer in some ways.

But I'm going like I also feel like I'm also feeling and this is for the group how how hard I heard a channel,

A Michael channel once and and the Michael channel,

The energy coming through was how hard you hold on to your ribbons,

Meaning how hard you hold on to the conditioning stories and the patterns of other lives.

And it was sort of like heaven was going,

You know,

Freedom is one step away.

And this energy coming through said how hard you hold on to your ribbons.

And sometimes I can feel this working with you guys.

I can feel how hard you're holding on to the eco storylines and everything.

But,

You know,

We get it when we get it.

It's,

You know,

It's just it's all so good.

You know,

It's just this is you,

You know,

They're playing and evolution slow.

But don't hold on to anything.

If you can just hold on to Amma's feet.

That's what she says.

Hold on to her feet.

Her feet are the image of her wisdom,

Her understanding,

What she stands on.

You hold on to them during every wobbly period.

Imagine you being in her body every wobbly period.

And I'll tell you,

It will really,

Really help.

Some of you guys try to do the things I say,

But you don't do them for very long.

And,

You know,

There's a rush of interest and then it gets dropped.

It's sort of like,

You know,

The constant prayer of the pilgrim,

The way of the pilgrim.

Everybody was excited,

Lord Jesus Christ,

Let's have mercy upon me.

Okay,

So who is saying it now?

Does anybody remember that?

Okay,

This is okay.

Good,

Maxie.

Yay,

Jayma.

Yeah,

Well,

So this is,

You know,

This is what we're like,

But anyway.

Okay,

Who's next?

Corinne,

I haven't heard from you in months and months and months.

Hello.

Okay,

For me.

Your phone so I can see your whole face.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Good.

Yeah.

So how are you doing?

Um,

I think,

Let's see,

I saw I went to see Amma.

And then,

Yes,

I did.

And I actually got to see Maxie and Franka at the,

We got to do the Thousand Names together.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I went in London,

And then I followed her to the Netherlands.

So I did the last two.

Yeah,

I was very happy.

And I,

And all my,

And it was the first day was bliss.

The second day,

All my stuff came out,

Like,

All that.

Because I was asking about the kind of that manipulative,

Little bit like sneaky holding back thing or like,

You know,

And then I saw it,

Like,

It was all over,

Like,

Everything,

Like,

Even in tokens,

Like in the tokens,

Like in everything.

And I was like,

What am I doing?

How could I do this?

And it was so like,

Like,

I had to go back and return a token.

And it was so hard for me,

Because I was like,

Oh,

My gosh,

Like,

I would never have done this.

But I did do this.

And then,

Like,

It was really.

And then works really.

Yeah.

And then I found a token.

It was so weird.

Like I found a token as well.

Because and then I was like,

Well,

Does this mean I go up,

But I'm not supposed and so I went up,

She like found it me.

And then I was like,

Oh,

My gosh.

Like,

And then the next time I went,

It was like,

I wrote her a letter actually about this.

And then she and that was Davy Bava,

I think and then she had she did like,

When I went for my she made eye contact and she I can't remember she like sucked in air and blew it out at me like in me like my mom mole or something.

She said,

I didn't know exactly.

But she kind of like I she never did that with me before,

Where it's like,

She was like looking directly at me and kind of like,

Like kind of breathe in and out on me.

And she held me really like and also the time where she felt she held me really tightly,

Actually,

For that one where I found the token and went up like,

Even though she kind of was a little frowny at the end,

She really held me really tight and rocked with me.

So I kind of,

Yeah,

And then it's like,

Because that whole,

Like that whole time was like,

Everything,

Like everything I did was like,

That like ulterior motive kind of instead of just being happy like that first day and genuine.

Very beautiful,

Sweetie.

Unbelievable beauty here that just what you're saying.

Yeah,

I don't think you know how beautiful it is.

And it's such a good way like that you I've been I've been on Korean about this.

And it was just part of her conditioning,

Learning this manipulation stuff and that you've taken it to heart like this and took it to Amma and then saw it.

I'm like,

This is really good.

This is you know,

Cindy's League.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there.

Yeah.

So what do you think that meant that the frown and the holding you and rocking you?

What was your my take was that,

Like,

It felt really like,

It felt very like she was holding me closer almost and like,

Like a baby,

Like kind of that rocking,

Like really like a baby.

And then the frown was kind of I think because well,

What I had taken because like,

And then I was like,

Oh,

I should what it was is like,

What really hit me was like,

Oh,

Playing these games is not good.

Well,

I know this,

But it's like really hit was like,

It's like,

I want everyone to see Amma.

So why am I being so weird about forcing my way in?

Like,

It'll come when it comes.

And then,

Yeah,

It mostly felt like being a baby.

And really like warm.

Yeah,

I think she was loving you.

And,

You know,

That you're so lovable,

No matter what,

You're so valuable.

And these things are just human.

It's just your conditioning.

It's not you and Jesus holding you is this precious one that you are,

Which is what you need to get how precious you are,

Because you,

You wouldn't do these things if you knew how valuable you were,

How precious you are,

How worthy of love you are.

Right?

I mean,

The mother of the universe held you and rocked you.

I mean,

You know,

I actually have this feeling that your whole life can make sense from now on.

It's very beautiful.

It's as if this hug got you on all levels.

It reached you on all levels.

In a very beautiful way.

It's as if freedom will be easier for you.

Just even with after this one hug.

So sweetie,

Tell me to tell everybody the whole thing about the token.

So there was one kerfuffle with the token,

Something that you did,

What was that?

Okay,

There was actually like,

Multiple,

Like,

I was like,

Off the like,

Off my rocker.

Like,

I like,

I would never do that.

But I did.

Oh,

My gosh,

Like embarrassing.

But yeah,

I'll tell.

But this will heal because we're all nuts.

Okay.

So it's like multiple times during the day.

Because there is.

So in the morning,

I came early and just to get in line.

And then,

And then it came like,

Oh,

You can't get a token.

But the gentleman had said,

Oh,

You know,

Everyone's lined up,

It'll be hard for you to go out.

Why don't you just stay here.

And then when you get to the front,

Tell them that you've already like,

Don't take a token.

And so I went and I just like,

Without thinking,

I just took a token and sat down.

And then and then I was like,

And it was at the front.

You just stopped,

They'd said that you couldn't have a token.

Why not?

Because I had had a hug the other day.

Okay.

All right.

Yes.

Yes.

And so yes,

And then I took it and just like,

Without thinking,

I kept walking.

And then it was at the front.

And I was like,

Oh,

I can't.

And then the lady next to me,

She was like,

Oh,

I took a token and I'm going up and,

And I was like,

But they said,

And I'm holding this token.

I was like,

Okay,

I can't go up.

Like I prayed about it and stuff during the during the whole and also I was like crazy in line.

I was like,

I want to hug I want to hug.

Like,

You know,

Kind of right?

Like,

Yes.

And,

And then when I was sitting there,

And they asked me to go up and it was like,

And the light the spotlight was on me because I had to say,

Because I was in those front rows where they take you up right away.

And I had and I had to be the only person like,

No,

I can't go.

And she came to me even and she like tried to bring me and I had to talk to I had to say it multiple times.

Like,

Actually,

I can't go.

Like,

It was like,

Looking at me.

And then,

And then I like went off.

And then I kind of went off during the day and I had my token.

And I just like,

You had to put it away.

I kept it I didn't give it No,

This was like,

This is what I mean.

Like,

I was like,

I can't go but I can give up the token.

And I should have but I didn't.

And then later in the day,

Like,

And then after the after the holy water part,

They were like,

There was a chance like,

Oh,

Maybe,

Like,

Go talk to them after see like for the people who've had hugs in the tour.

Go and check with them.

And so I went.

And like,

This is where I also went to crazy town.

It was like,

They had multiple lines.

And then like I went like,

I just kind of there was like,

One line,

And then I misunderstood if you've had a hug.

You can't.

But if you went,

If you haven't,

If you've had a hug elsewhere on the tour,

You can go.

Okay,

So I went through the line.

And like,

You know,

It's kind of like,

So I went through that line,

I had the token.

And then they said,

Oh,

If you can't remember what it was for the second line,

But I went through that line too.

And it was like,

Kind of like,

Okay,

And then,

And then I was like,

Oh,

I'll return this token.

But then it was like,

I can't actually,

Like neither of those applied to me.

So I had to go back.

And I,

It was really hard for me to give up these tokens.

And I was like,

Why did I even go through?

Like,

Why did I?

So I was hovering around the ladies who are giving up the tokens.

And I went,

I was like,

Oh,

Here,

And the gentleman was like,

Oh,

You don't want to go?

And I was like,

Here,

We're not going.

And I kind of like,

Just ran away.

But then I had the other token.

And because they called so much attention to me,

I was embarrassed a little.

So I circled around back and I was like,

But I was like,

How did you have another?

Yeah,

Because it was it was all like,

They kept fastly calling like,

So I went through the wrong because we were all clumped there.

And then they were calling people forward.

Yes,

Yes.

Yes.

And so I had to go back.

And I was like,

Oh,

I could just keep it.

And then I was like,

Oh,

Yes,

I get one back.

And then I had to go and I actually there's a chair where I could see them like,

Just very,

Very close.

And I went I sat there and I like meditated and prayed because I was like,

Why can't I give it up?

I should just give it easily to the lady.

And then I was like,

Oh,

But I want the hug,

Like,

Kind of garbage.

And then I was like,

Okay,

You have to give it back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I went to the lady and I avoided the gentleman who called attention to me.

And and he was just because he just wanted like,

It was probably like,

Mind blowing.

Why wouldn't you go get a hug?

You have a token like he's probably trying to make sure but the one who called attention to me.

And you could have said I had one yesterday.

Yes,

Yes.

I said I already had one.

And I like but I but I kind of mumbled it.

And I think I said we like because I was ashamed to say that I had gone through this line again.

So I but then I went and I was thinking about how I don't I'm not honest.

And then I was like,

Okay,

Well,

You need to go up to her and you need to say you need to actually say properly,

Like,

I've already had a hug.

Like,

So I went,

I went to the lady who was handing tokens to,

Like,

Handy,

You know,

And I went,

I just touched your hand,

I put my token into her hand.

And I said,

I've already had a hug.

And she just smiled at me and like was like,

You know,

Like a loving gaze.

And then I just went off.

And then it turned out,

I still hovered around there because it and then it turned out that I last the very last line,

You know,

This was,

This was the last day to like,

Wait,

What happened was the first day.

Okay,

And then the second day,

I didn't.

And then,

Yeah,

So I didn't.

And then I didn't go.

And then I left at the end,

Like,

And I and then I found a token.

Like,

As I was leaving,

Like,

Just on the table,

Like,

I found one.

And then I was like,

Oh,

Does that mean I was meant to go?

And I just like ran off to get a hug.

This is the rocking hug that I'm talking about.

Because,

Like,

Well,

I think Prima Suda would have done that.

I think if after all this,

There was a token on the table,

I would have gone,

Ahma is giving me one.

Truly,

I think I would have thought that way.

Yeah.

And,

And I think the frown,

You know,

I can't Okay,

First of all,

Really big red flag Prima Suda has,

Who knows what Ahma means?

Okay.

Okay.

I don't know.

But if it were me,

If I was there,

You giving getting giving you a hug,

I would give you the frown as part of because you expected it.

And it was expecting this.

Right?

As I did,

Because I thought it was bad.

And yeah,

And bad girl and and part of it like a bad girl,

Because Oh,

I do all this stuff.

Yeah.

So it was like you expected it.

And it was a clearing of it.

Do you know like then this rocking hug?

I mean,

That's if Prima Suda was doing it.

So I cannot speak for Ahma.

Okay.

Yes.

Okay.

But that's what and in my experience with how Prima Suda how Ahma has been with Prima Suda.

It is like what I speak,

Where there might be a frown,

Because I was expecting something.

And yeah,

But the hug and the rocking,

I mean,

She's,

She's like,

She's bathing you in this,

You know,

Love and compassion,

Because you deserve it,

Corinne.

Okay,

You deserve it.

Yes.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Say,

Okay,

Good.

I heard the yes.

Yes,

I do.

Yeah,

Yes,

I deserve it.

You do.

And you really picked up your cross with that,

Like you really struggled with the issue.

I call that picking up the cross,

Where you're right in there with the issue,

You're banging your head up against the wall,

You get embarrassed,

You make a fool of yourself,

You know,

All this stuff.

Like,

I'm not saying you did it all.

You felt like you made a fool of yourself.

But I don't see it as you making a fool of yourself.

I think big congratulations are in order and that you got yourselves to these retreats.

Fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then on the last day there,

I actually did get a proper,

Like,

Because I did get an extra hug on the last day in London,

Because I had only gotten two hugs.

So they're cutting you off at three.

And I was like,

Okay.

And then I went to the Netherlands,

And I met a girl in line in the front.

Like,

I didn't actually get a hug that because I had the three,

But I didn't mind really.

Like,

I was happy to sit there and I got to do the Thousand Names and meet and see,

You know,

The ladies and Trillerton as well,

I think.

And it was really like,

And I met another lady in line who hadn't seen Amma for a really long time.

And we kind of hit it off.

And then I got a really good seat with the view of her.

And then the girl got a seat behind a pillar.

And I was like,

Oh,

And so it was really,

Again,

I was like,

No,

I want to see Amma.

But I was like,

Oh,

You know,

She hasn't seen her.

And so I gave her my seat.

And then I was behind the pillar.

And then the lady next to me,

I guess they all saw in this area,

Because my friend was like,

No,

No,

No.

Or the not friend,

The new Amma friend,

I guess.

No,

No,

No,

Right?

You know,

Like,

No,

You take it,

You take it.

And then I had to offer it a second time.

And then actually a third time,

Right before Amma started,

I was like,

No,

Like,

Amma wouldn't like it if I,

Like,

I felt that,

You know,

It would be better to do this.

And then so I sat back there and I was like,

I can't see.

And then,

But the lady next to me,

She actually,

I guess they had bigger seats over there,

Like more space and bigger actual seats.

And the lady was tiny.

So she just moved over.

And she was like,

You can sit on my half of my seat.

So I'm and then I got had a direct view of Amma.

And so I sat on this girl's like,

Half my butt,

Half on hers,

Half on mine.

And I could see a woman,

I should say she's older,

Older than me.

Yeah.

Oh,

Adorable.

Bryn,

This is what I've always seen in you.

It is.

It is this saintly quality,

Truly.

You're truly saintly.

Totally.

Oh,

You do at heart.

You have a very,

Very good heart.

I am premise it is thrilled to bits that you are that you tackle that,

You know,

Trickiness.

And look what happened.

The mother of the universe rocked you.

And,

You know,

In my experience,

You know,

Again,

I don't want to speak for Amma,

I don't know how to say this,

Any teachers like thrilled when a student actually goes to the meat of it,

You know,

When the when the student really steps up to deal with their conditioning,

Really,

I'll tell you the ecstasy that teachers go into is like,

Oh,

My God,

Somebody is actually doing it.

They're not just talking about it.

They're doing it.

Thank God.

Totally.

Yeah.

You're frozen.

Oh,

There she is.

There.

What happened to you?

I don't know.

It froze.

And then it said I had to rejoin or something.

Oh,

Okay.

That's so interesting.

You know,

Sometimes I think even being removed from the satsang is clearing people separation when they sometimes you know,

They get expelled.

And,

And sometimes,

You know,

If the premasutra sometimes premasutras not let somebody in who was already in there.

And they just got expelled.

I thought they were a late comer or something.

So they hadn't experienced it's clearing separation.

Okay.

Yeah.

Trin,

I'm thrilled out of my tree.

Yeah.

How do you feel?

Um,

I feel very,

Like,

I was so happy that I actually went like that.

And right,

You know,

And I feel it coming back now that happiness.

Like,

Because I was feeling a little bit,

I guess,

Separate and also tight,

Kind of tight and like,

In my body,

And then also around that control,

Like,

Quite tight there at this heart,

Like,

Even when I would stretch backwards,

Like,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

So I guess I was feeling the ego a lot.

Well,

It coming up to be cleared,

It can come up.

You know,

In satsangs,

It's coming up to be cleared.

It's okay.

But you're getting this soft,

Soft landing,

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like you guys,

All there is is love.

This is what we need to get through our thick heads and bodies.

It just takes time.

It just takes time.

Corinne,

Honestly,

You've made my day.

I just my week.

Well,

Truly.

Yeah,

For current coming forward in her true colors.

Oh,

My goodness.

Because I understand the level of the challenge.

And I really understand the weight of the conditioning.

And I understand that it's been a tall order and you're doing it.

Yeah.

Right.

So great.

Yeah.

No,

Really,

It's really I get that I almost I have this feeling of bowing down to the innocence of you doing it.

Truly.

You know?

Yeah,

Really?

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because,

You know,

To really do this work,

To face our conditioning like this,

It's like,

You know,

It's about 10% of all the spiritual seekers,

In my experience,

Actually do this deeper work.

And it's really rare,

Because think how rare spiritual seekers are.

And then it's only about 10% of the spiritual seekers that go near this material.

I mean,

That's premises experience.

That's why the world is as it is.

So when you do this,

You're actually reducing the levels of earth.

Yeah.

I'm just really just really touched my heart.

And you've touched the whole sad thing.

Truly.

Truly.

Yeah.

And it's so funny.

The real journey is it's just like the fool in the fairy tale.

It's like being a bumbling idiot,

Right?

You felt like a bumbling idiot.

This is it.

It's like the fool in the fairy tale is just doing their best.

And it's like,

It's,

It's the heart of the journey.

It's fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

May you carry,

You know,

More self esteem for your whole life.

And I feel like that hug that Amma gave you did more good for you than you know yet.

Okay.

It was a deeper clearing that's going to sink in as time goes on,

Then you realize quite.

Yeah.

Okay.

That is the information that is coming to me from the angelic realms.

Yeah.

Right.

And yeah,

And they're saying put an exclamation mark behind it.

Like really,

It's,

It's not woo woo.

It's not wishful thinking.

You know,

It's,

It's really true,

Corinne,

That that hug from Amma,

There was more purification in it than you realize.

And more of a reset,

A reset,

A realignment,

A reset,

Like,

Yeah,

It was a very powerful thing.

Yeah.

Again,

I feel a little hesitant to say all this because this is Amma's thing.

But this is,

I'm getting it from the angelic realms to sort of scream this to you,

With exclamation marks and to make it really,

To sort of help open you to receive the fullness of the hug that was offered,

The fullness of the love that was offered.

So you don't shortchange yourself.

Yeah.

But I can feel we've gone into wobbly land.

So just,

You know,

You can,

You can listen to the satsang after.

And,

You know,

Amma is infinite.

She's,

She's an infinite energy,

Like we are too,

But she's like,

She's a Christ.

So the power of the things she does is,

Is way bigger than what we think is possible.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's the,

That's the heart of it.

It's like,

Remember,

She is a Christ.

Right.

You know,

A walk on water Christ.

Right.

And she touched you at a very,

Very deep level.

Right.

Yeah,

Just sit with it and you'll,

You'll get more hugs in the future.

But yeah.

Yeah.

Even you guys thinking about Amma,

The,

The power of that.

Yeah.

It's the power of it.

No,

She,

You heard the story of when she turned water into pudding,

Right?

Everybody was demanding miracles.

And she said,

I won't do miracles.

I just want to love you.

Right.

But they were demanding it.

So she did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then they were convinced that she knew what she was talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

But love in every single cell of your body and strengthen the love that's already there.

And because of that,

That you were,

Went up with innocence.

She could access such a deep level.

Oh,

Okay.

I'll put it this way that you made it possible for love to reach you at a very deep level.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Good.

You could accept that.

All right.

Right.

Okay.

Good.

Premasuddha is unbelievably thrilled with his satsang,

You guys.

Just,

I'm so touched by your innocence and that you keep going and your openness and we're all bumbling.

Yeah.

I mean,

Look at Premasuddha's spelling mistakes,

Really.

No,

Really,

It's so funny.

And I looked at that thing before I sent it and it still went with November.

Yeah.

So just like Premasuddha just accepts this.

When I'm making big shifts,

My spelling and grammar go to hell.

So just accept stuff,

You guys.

Don't make it wrong.

Don't make it wrong.

Don't make yourselves wrong,

Please.

Yeah.

Okay.

Bless your dear hearts.

I'll send this out.

And remember,

If you don't get an invitation,

Turn up.

Yeah.

Only if,

I'll tell you if there's not going to be one.

Yeah.

Okay,

You guys.

Bless your dear hearts.

Bye.