Moving Into Real Spiritual Integrity And Becoming Happier

2:08:35

2:08:35

Moving Into Real Spiritual Integrity And Becoming Happier

by Premasudha Janet Hobbs

Rated

5

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

139

With her signature humor and ability to put words to vague perceptions and feelings, together with her healing touch, Premasudha's work is life changing. She has a truly great knack of assisting people out of the emotional prison of their ego/intellect into true freedom. This means that sometimes even serious diseases disappear too, as part of the emotional shift into a new more love-based understanding.

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Meet your Teacher

Premasudha Janet Hobbs

North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Transcript

You know, Today, I was thinking about what to express, And I got a lot of silence. One of the few points I want to talk about is that, You know, Integrity, Which is, You know, In our culture, We have integrity, Like following the rules, You know, Paying your income tax, Being faithful to your partner. And then on a, There are a little bit different rules with the connection to your soul. There's an integrity there, That doesn't have much to do with the laws of the society, Or they overlap a bit, But not completely. So I'm going to talk about that and about learning how to give yourself permission to return to your soul and follow it, Even if it feels like a little taboo that you're not allowed to, Because really, The taboo feelings are often just emotional. It's not true. So for example, When I was raising the boys, I think they were 14 and 16. And I went to Peru for a month. Now I really needed to go. I really needed a month of just freedom away from any obligation. I was following my soul. But it was considered, You know, I got quite a lot of static, It was considered, You know, Neglectful. But actually, The boys managed just fine. And it was good training. It's how most of the rest of the world lives, You know, Where kids learn how to be responsible, Pretty early in life. So okay, This is good, Because I'm picking this up about the group. And it indeed may also, Those who are listening to this, Who are not in the group right now, There's a deafness around hearing the rest of your soul. And this deafness is your soul is wanting this deafness to lift. It's like clearing out the earwax. Now, We can feel quite anxious about the proddings. And, You know, Sometimes they don't make a lot of sense. Like some of you have heard this story that when my mom was selling her house years ago, I got a very strong message to ask the realtor out on a date. And I'm like, Oh, No, Like, Stop. No, I don't want to do this. But I learned so I followed, You know, And we had one date. And it was very illuminating for me. And I got the reason why I'd been prodded to do this. And if I hadn't followed that, I never would have known. And by following it and and feeling a little foolish, I made greater room for my soul in my life, Even though it sounds sort of silly. But it wasn't at all. So as much as possible, You know, Don't worry about being foolish. Just experiment. It's like you're in a very important experiment here. And the results of this experiment will determine really how many more lives you have. If you look at it like that, You know, That the importance to use every moment here. Because, You know, At our deathbeds, We just get of what we did, And there's not much we can do. Although I have to say my mom, Okay, This shows the possibility my mom, Who had one foot in the spirit for her whole life, But ran from it on her deathbed. She did kind of a lifetime of work and transcended to the kind of the last two planes where, Or where, You know, Well, It's no where she had like maybe one or two lives left. So you can do those lives in a non-physical way. It's when you're almost finished. So she did that. Now, I don't think she could have done that without having me as a daughter and all the years that I spent like talking to her about this, And her watching my development. I think that what happened to her was very much like what happened to me in my 30s where you realize that there's no point holding on to the old because it just brings you a lot of pain. So you might as well step beyond and step into the unknown, Even if it's just the vague hope that things could be different, That things could be, You know, Better. Yeah. Now have I lost you fellows at all? Or do you understand what I'm saying? You're going to go to the last one. Sometimes it's crazy what my soul is talking to me. And sometimes she laughs when I don't understand. I figure out she laughs sometimes when I'm like this. Yeah. When you're a little confused. Yeah. Yeah. Just laughing with compassion. Compassion. Understanding. Right? Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's it. That's it. And your soul is you. That's you, Lion. That's you. Yeah. No, That's the shift. I figure out she is very funny. And the last month I have had a lot of funny situations with my soul. I can't describe it, But it was funny. Sometimes I have deep feelings, But it was like it's more funny. And I laugh about it. Deep feelings like what? Sometimes I have fear of my own energy. I feel that when it comes. And I talk to me because you know what it is. You don't have to be in fear. And yeah, It's better than the last years. I can more manage it. I feel that. That's it. So I choose the Lion. Yeah. Yeah? The courage of the Lion. Yeah. That's it. That's it. It's when you realize that the fear. The fear came from the little child. Yeah. Zero to two, Who felt she couldn't have her true energy in her family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. And yeah, We can go conscious about the fear. So you feel it. You walk around in it. And it lets go. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It does. It lets go. That's the big secret. Yeah. It's so much more dangerous to be run by your fear than to turn and face it. You become invincible when you turn and face it. Yeah. This is, You guys, It's just, It's the big secret. Yeah. And remember, You know, With the women with this history of the witch burnings and being property, It may take us a while before we realize that we can actually face it this life. There's no witch burnings. We're not going to get in trouble. That's true. Yeah. I just talked this weekend with a young man about witch burnings. It's funny. Yeah. Well, It's really funny. It's really, I think, Why women are ready. Yeah. Yeah. But right now, In this period of time, We are very free. So you know. Yeah. And fear is no picnic to face. But yeah, Man, I have I have faced mountains of fear. Mountains of it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's got a nice outcome. Good. Good lion. Yeah. It's finally, You know, Finally get pushed around by life so much that finally, Right, You turn and face it lion, Right? What happened to you? The pain of being pushed around by life gets higher than the fear. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good. Remember, You are your souls. You are eternal beings. And your, You know, The body, Your body is just like a ring. For your whatever, Three score and 10 years on stage, You know. In this particular play. You're your soul. And you are everything that you're looking at everything you can see the walls of your room are made out of your soul energy. That's why you know, How we treat people is how we're treating ourselves. It's all one. I'm feeling a new gratefulness in some of you as if you're remembering to feel gratitude. Yeah. It's good. Yeah. You know, Really, The spiritual journey is impossible, But the joke is your soul does it. You're not doing it. You think you are you're not. You just say yes or no to your soul. And if you say yes, Your soul does it. It takes you through difficulty and out of difficulty. Yeah. And with every difficulty that you go into and come out of, You get shinier and shinier, Shinier and shinier. It's just hair raising. That's all. It is. It's hair raising. Like, You know, It just is. You know, If you get the sense that there's something wrong going on, Like in your family or in your relationship or. There is something wrong. You know, Something's bothering you. It's real. You might want to take it to take it to your heart, Take it to God, Contemplate it. Ask for illumination. But if you're bothered, Something is wrong. So I want to really spell that out, Because, Again, Women can just, You know, Push that awareness down because it's inconvenient. They don't want to rock the boat or be criticized. You know, With integrity, You have to know. You have to have some sense of who you really are. You have to have some experience of your true nature in order to be able to be faithful to it. Do you see like it's like you need your true north point, Like an compass, You need your true north. And if you haven't had a direct experience of your soul, Then what you can use is your own feelings of, You know, Discomfort or to the other side, Your your own feelings of happiness. What makes you feel blissful? What makes you feel most yourself and steer that way? Again, That's integrity. So Brianna, You look like a little girl right now. So what are you thinking? What were you thinking when I said that? You look about eight. Because I'm tired. Nice try. Nice try. It's not because you're tired. I think that the part that resonated with me the most was the part about when you have those experiences that that feel that bring you bliss or bring you joy or make you feel at home to steer towards those. I was thinking about that that part clicked in for me. Yeah, That's what you need the most permission for. Right. I mean, That's, You know, That's what you haven't felt you could follow that much. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good reminder for me. And yeah, Permission. Yeah, Exactly. Mission, You know, Except that she become as little children, You cannot enter the kingdom of God. So you have to sort of fan the flame. I mean, You know, I was an extreme case. But I tiled my whole second floor in my favorite color as a child. And actually, I made the house unsaleable. And it's lucky it was bought by somebody just to tear down because I mean, I didn't even consider that at the time, I was just so focused on returning to the energy of my child that I just did this to as a constant reminder. You know, It's kind of extreme, But you can live that way, You know, You don't you don't get the firing squad or anything. And the house was torn down anyway. So I had no loss of ink, You know, No loss of sale price, Luckily, Because, Like, You know, The fool in the fairy tale, You know, What's your favorite color, Though? It's a it's a sort of this light green with a hint of very tiny hint of gray. And I just as a youngest, And I still love it now. Thanks for asking. What's your color, Alexa? I think it's, It's still blue. But yeah, Yeah, It's blue and something between blue and green, Probably more violet. Yeah, I should ask everybody, What was your favorite color as a child? Elephant? What was? Do you remember? Yeah, I remember my my favorite color has always been blue. Now I like more like, You know, Like a lawn of flowers. It's like, Okay, What kind of blue? It was a dark blue, Actually. Yeah. Like royal blue or royal blue? Yes. Right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Pratipha, What about you? I'm like a peachy pink. That's always been really, Really drawn to that. And I had, I had a, I actually bought it, My mom has made me a sweater that was exactly that color. And then when I was, It was the 80s. I have to remind everyone that it was the 80s. And I bought a bright, Sort of this peachy pink, Like puffy winter coat. I look at it now and go, Wow. But it was, You know, I was very proud of that coat at the time. That jacket. Kind of beautiful, Really. I loved it. Loved it. I still love it. I still search for things of that color. I've bought sweaters and all kinds of things of that color. I love it. Sounds like kind of a fairy tale coat. I like it. Okay, There, How about you? What's your favorite color as a kid? It's hard to pick one because a few stand out. But I do remember when we moved into a new house when I was about six, And I got to choose the color of my bedroom. And I wanted it to be this really, Really bright, Bright pink. And I remember my mom, She wouldn't go the full brightness. She had toned it down a few shades. So it was sort of this soft pink. But I really wanted it to be like a super bright pink. And it's funny because now, I don't feel drawn to that color. But I do remember really wanting that full on brightness. Right, The innocence of the child, Right? Pink's the heart chakra. Right? You could always paint like a cupboard or something bright pink. Really? Well, And it's funny, I never connected these two. But a few years ago, When I was living in a tiny little apartment, And it was really the first time that I was, Well, Maybe not the first time, But it was a significant place for me. It was like just mine without a roommate. And I painted the whole thing. And I painted the bathroom, Which was this tiny little like dark, You know, Tiny little window and super dark feeling bathroom. And I painted it like a bright peachy pink. And I didn't mean for it to be that bright. It was one of those things where I painted it and then realized, Oh, This is brighter than I thought. But, But I loved it. There you go. There you go. Yeah, It's interesting, Because actually, There it I can see the real you beginning to emerge. You know, Not just from, You know, From some of your breakthroughs the past few weeks, But also just this talking, Just what you said, Right? Right then. Yeah, That's very good. That's very cool. Cool. Brianna, You said it was blue. Is it you who said that was your favorite color? No, This was elephant. My color was royal blue. Like, Oh, No, It was the left that you were saying blue too. Yeah, Brianna. I'm probably purple probably still is purple. I have a lot of it around me all the time. The rose purple or the blue purple or both? I don't probably like a cooler purple. I don't Yeah, I'm not I don't really know. Yeah, Come on. You could know blue purple or kind of ready purple. They're two different colors. So you like both of them. Blue like I Yeah, I painted my room when I was younger like a cool purple. Like a blue that like a blue undertones. Okay. Okay. Okay, Cool. Yeah. Blue and green. Green more now but blue or sorry. Wow. I said blue purple. Purple. I was okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, The violet is the third eye and the crown chakras the red, Purple. So well, It's, You know, The higher chakras the know the higher chakras, You know, Connection to God chakras the intuition chakras so, You know, Just just take that information. Just take it in. Okay. No. Lion. Yes. I love the same cream as you this cream like more mint. Yeah. Yeah. Mint. And I love blue. And sky blue. Yes. And I remember remember now that I love pink very much but my mother that you have red hairs. You don't have to wear pink. It's not over you. Yeah, I remember this now pink and I love orange too. Yeah. You know, Here redheads were pink. Yeah, I know but my mother didn't like didn't like at all. No. But I well Pink's the heart, You know? Yeah. So, You know, Lots of us women are running from the heart, You know? Yeah. That's true. It's like I hated pink for years and years, You know? Now I'm red pink. I love pink. So and then look in the mirror and think, Oh, Wow, I love pink. Looks good with my red hair. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Celebrate yourselves. You got yourselves really? I think pink looks fabulous with red hair. Yeah. And when he wears pink, It's amazing. He just looks amazing when he's right. Yeah. Pink is beautiful together. I think blue Alexa did. What kind of blue like? I think I like something like indigo like something in between violet and blue. Okay. Okay. Intuition again. Yeah. So you guys pay a lot of attention to all these things about yourself, You know? And and look at yourselves in a big way. No, Like, It's like me with the color. I mean, I mean, It's ridiculous what I did with the floor in a way except it, It showed my commitment to the journey that I was willing to do that. And I made the mistake when I was younger of talking to people and explaining myself and I was a big mistake. It's like, You know, Lots of stuff we don't really have to say to another person, We can just do it. Just do it. You know, Don't don't talk just do it. Yeah. Because if our own egos are arguing with us, Then the person will make us wrong. Because it's like, We'll just choose a situation where the person can be a spokesman for our own egos. Do you see what I mean? It's not even their fault. Like, We should have just zipped it. I know that situations. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm seeing some some deep connections in all of you guys. It's your attachments. And they're being washed. It's interesting. I'm seeing all this all these kind of cords to things and other people. And the dark, But they're being washed right now. Some of the unconsciousness is lifting you see the more conscious you become like this with your conscious intent consciously steering to follow your soul. The the more the unconscious energy that you're carrying comes up to be washed. It's it's coming up to be cleared. So I'm seeing your attachments to people and everything getting purer, Getting pure attachment to work people, Things pure. And the purer gets the easier it gets to let hold of all attachments so that you just don't even have them at all. But that takes time. And if if they're clean attachments, That's that's pretty good on the human scale. If you you know, Like a consciously mother or you're conscious with your partner, Conscious at work, That's that's really unbelievably rare and fantastic. I'm seeing it in all of you. There's somebody particularly who's working on attachments and trying to trying to get clear of them. But she's actually interfering with the process a bit. She should back off, Back off, Let everything be more. Just let everything be. You know, That is the way of the females letting everything be. We don't have to fix. Just witnessing witnessing. Okay, Now, This is really important, You guys. Just witnessing yourself is all you need to do. Okay, You do not need to criticize yourself. Okay, There's a difference. Yeah, Just witness. That will dissolve your ego. That's it. You don't have to fix. You don't have to fuss. I'm seeing this person kind of biting through these cords. You don't have to do that, Just witness with this. That's it witness. Like oh, I'm doing it again. Oh, Here it is again. Okay, Give it to God help. Yeah. Yeah. No fuss. No fixing. Yeah. It's feel more like I relax more. It's like and, And Stefan is more relaxed and now too. Right. Yeah. Right. We deeply influence our partners. And they mirror us, Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's the issue you guys all of you about relaxing into it more. I empathize with this. Yeah, Just relaxing into the journey more. It's like staying vigilant, But relaxing. It's, You know, You guys, On the higher levels, It's really clear God does everything we we are, We think we're running things we are not. Okay. What happens is you go higher and all your monologues and your mind starts disappearing and you start seeing that life happens when you're not actually doing anything that there's somebody running the show. There's somebody far beyond you running the show. It's not you. I know that feels counter intuitive. But that's what self realization is. It's like you really is basically God is running the show and that God is you puts his bizarre I'm gonna say to that, That I think that's the beauty of a teacher, Because when we can talk the other day, And after, It's like everything kind of blew up, And did for a couple of days. And, You know, I don't, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't had a conversation with you that I might not have been so conscious of what's happening, And that it was so obvious that I can tell that it was my ego like displaying. And it took me Yeah, It's taken me a couple of days. And and then, You know, You wake up and you I woke up and just had this feeling of exactly what you're talking about, Let go, Just relax, Just relax into this and stop laughing and stop worrying about everything and just, You know, It'll get done or it will, It will become really obvious or it will, You know, Like, Maybe, You know, Maybe you don't know anything, And you don't know, Your ego doesn't know anything. It really doesn't. It's like two years old. It's like a two year old, Your ego. It's ridiculous. Yeah. No, That's, That's it. I said, You know, My, My achievement was with this last move that, You know, I mean, I was like thinking, Oh, God, I'm gonna be living in my car, You know, Because the North Van rents are high, You know, And I went to see if God's got a place for me, You know, And I stopped worrying about it, You know, And then this place just landed in my lap. So yeah, But I mean, It's taken me years to be this peaceable, Right? Me, You do it faster than me, Please. Don't really. I'm like the slow boat to China, Really. But I agree with you about the teacher. I mean, This is I'll tell you without my teachers, Like, I'm not the security of knowing that Ama was there and that she deeply understood me. And and even got me like from miles away. In fact, Once I wrote her a letter, And about 10 days later, I felt this huge blast of love come to my back. And I, I knew it was Ama having read the letter. She got the letter. I was reading it because it was immediate, This big blast of Ama love coming to me and I went, Yes. You know, I mean, That's how palpable it gets as you, You guys, Your ego really numbs you out. So there's a great deal of material you see, You. You're not sensitive enough to get. So really, A lot of my work is to just reassure you that it's okay to, To allow the numbness to melt into become really, Really sensitive and aware and present in the moment. Like you were as a child. And you're allowed to now. You know, When I said that you're allowed to now some of you went, So just watch that, You know, So when I say you know, I'm speaking the truth. So notice responses like notice say that you will go no, So you so it's another level of resistance coming up to be cleared. Nothing's wrong, But don't buy into it. Don't buy into the storyline, Witness it, Witness it, Witness it. Witness. So you see, A student once said to me, What she say she said, I felt her like disconnecting. And I said, Why is this disconnecting? And she said that she'd been listening to some videos of mine, And she thought this couldn't be true. And she was discounting what I was saying. And it's like, Better to, You know, If, If you found this one to be in truth from some years of association, Maybe it's better to go to notice your resistance and go, Oh, This is resistance coming up to be cleared, Rather than believing the storyline. Because a teacher is always the teacher step it sees more. So they say stuff that's like, Two and two plus four for them, But to somebody who's not, You know, Somebody else, They might not get the logic of it. So just assume that like, I would just assume that I didn't know. That was a strength and a weakness, Because sometimes I assumed that too much when I did know. But it was also a strength to be humble. And you know, If, If I say something and it's really wrong, Then correct me, You know, Tell me, Don't just secretly turn away with withholds. Like have the courage to go, Okay, Premise Sudha, I think you're off your head with this. And then then the clearing can happen. And believe me, I have enormous respect for anybody who comes forward like that. And also, I know how confusing the journey could be. And, You know, Often teachers get misinterpreted. In fact, They did like, I would say stuff and I would totally misinterpret it for the first couple of years, And then I would get clear about it. So she knew that I was going to misinterpret it. But she knew I'd finally get the clarity. Yeah, You guys, You know, You're, We're just like kids, We don't understand everything at first. Or, You know, If it's too scary to say something to me, Just put it on the shelf. And then ask the universe to help you decide whether it's true or not. You can do it that way. But, But do something with it. Don't just Yeah, Feel that way and ignore it and then keep studying with me like that's not gonna work. Yeah. Lion. Yeah, I, I asked what I have to learn or something like that. When I'm not. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. And sometimes, You know, We do leave teachers. So you know, There's freedom. But yeah, It's actually hard for the teacher if people are sitting there discounting what she says, But yet turning up. Do you know what I mean? Because the teacher will feel this as a very, Very heavy resistance that's drawing on her energies. You see, Like, And it's not comfortable. Yeah. It's like with Ama. I mean, Really? You know, I don't know how to say this. I think it's very uncomfortable being in Ama's body. And I feel that she feels the resistances that we're carrying in her body. Yeah. I mean, There's a thought in the East that once a teacher starts working with a student, Then even if the student stops associating with the teacher, The teacher will still experience that student in her his or her body, And will experience the resistance that students carry. You see, It's an incredibly selfless thing to be a teacher. And I think for Ama that it's because she's such a high being that her coming down into the physical is so such an extreme step that you know, It's really uncomfortable for her. She has said that, Basically, That we couldn't stand, We wouldn't be able to stand it what she walks around in. And it's the resistance that she feels I, I feel I mean, I can't speak for her, But that's what the Eastern thought is. So I feel you guys in my body. I do. Yeah, I do. It's part of how I know how things are with you. Whether we're in touch or not. Yeah. But I'm never criticizing you guys, You know, Like, Never criticizing ever. Yeah. I just notice. Right, Good. Good. Okay, That's good. You you get that and you you're relaxing a little bit. You see, We don't get how deeply we're loved. I mean, Once we get how deeply we're loved, We relax into it. That's what I did with Ama once I got how much she loved me. It's like, Oh, Man. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. And it's like showing me every step of the way how much how how deep her love is how deeply she gets me. Which is what I'm hoping to do for you guys. I mean, As much as possible, As much as I'm capable. As much as this one is capable. There's a little bit of a burnt out feeling with some of you guys. You know, Burnout comes, It's actually the root of it is our early conditioning. It's the anger at our own souls through to burn burnout. Because it's where we, You know, Don't listen to what we need. And we're not we're not we're angry at our souls, Basically. So when we get burned out, We actually have an experience of that. And the feelings of separation that come and grief, Fear maybe. But the cure for burnout is just learning to love yourself, And it won't happen. You won't allow it to happen. You will step in and begin to take care of yourself, Whatever you need. It's like me going to Peru for a month. I was getting totally burned out. You're going it couldn't be that simple. It is that simple. It's exactly that. And our culture is making it so complicated, And turning burnout into a thing. It's not really a thing. It's just the early childhood conditioning coming up to be cleared. Do you understand that once you get that you go okay. Yeah. It's good. The feeling of astonishment coming somewhere. You know, You may be astonished. This maybe I'm hoping for how much easier it gets. Once you learn how to walk the walk, You see when you learn how life gets much easier. You realize you're not alone. But yeah, I think it's really hard to walk this alone. I mean, I know it is because I know that I spent 20 years mostly on my own doing it. Okay, Good. As soon as you started talking about burnout, I felt and still feel this really, Really heavy fatigue come over me. Which I know you've said before is denial coming up. It's just interesting to see, To notice, Okay, I'm feeling this, But I feel really calm about it. I'm just going to keep walking through it. And just let my eyes close and go to sleep. But like, Okay, I'm feeling tired. But I can keep going because it's just tiredness. Okay, Like, Okay, I'm tired. I need to I need to stop now. Okay. There. I'll tell you, Though, When I got that I would lie down. And I would lie down till the feeling went away. So you could experiment, Even while we're doing this talk with maybe leaning back, Closing your eyes, You see, What would happen is I would, I would go right into it, I would just lie down, Just be with it. And it would lift. Hmm. Yeah. And sometimes I got an insight. Sometimes not. But I feel you're too tight with yourself. And maybe just, You know, Lying down for 15 minutes, Even if the kids are like playing all around you, Like, Like, I used to play a game with the kids, Which was, Could they do this? How long could they do this for? I could get some peace. You know what I mean? I was ruthless about this stuff. It's like, Yeah, Yeah. I have been doing that more with the kids. Like, Just finding ways where, You know, They are just I'm on the floor laying down and they're literally okay, Playing around me. And I yeah, I was talking more about like, Right now while you're talking. Yeah. And I know in the past, There's been times in conversations where I feel this tiredness and it's like, I see myself just kind of checking out and it's hard to listen. And so did you hear what I say about just leaning back and closing your eyes and going into it? Are you? Yeah. Or has it gone now? It's it's subsided a little. But okay, Yeah, That's that's permission that I would never imagined was okay to do. Yeah. So please feel free to do it. Really and I will just let you do that. Because I understand what you're doing. Like you guys, It's all of you. I'm trying to teach you how to love yourself in a really big, Big way. Not having a list of rules, Or a straight jacket. We were talking about how the early conditioning makes a straight jacket of what you think's okay and what's not. And it's like this work is to unlace the straight jacket. Yeah. You can even say, Okay, Premise suited, Denial's up. I'm checking out for a bit. I'll go. And even if you don't, If I just see you with lying with your eyes closed, I'll get told she's clearing denial. This is no really you guys. This is a huge permission. Like I get it. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, It's sort of just like working with toddlers and me too. You know, It's like you let toddlers be that you don't interfere with them too much. Just a little. I will also say that having two toddlers right now. Yeah. It's so it's so eye opening to like to just to see me treat them. I can see like when I'm harsh with them, How I'm harsh with myself and like that. The ideals of how I would like to say, Be more patient with myself the way, You know, A mother is patient with her children. And then I think, Oh, But I'm not as patient with them as I would like to be. And so I can. It's just so immediately clear. When I'm. Yeah, When it's going smoothly or when it isn't. And yeah, The effects and the changes are so immediate. Right. Right. I'm a little. You're right. But I know you bear so I know that you can stand on top of the wall of kind of this objectivity. And it's better to. And dance, Dance in this wall, This objectivity. And what I like is more like. For it to really upset you when you're too harsh with them and to, You know, Remember that it that it matters. You see, You can either love yourself more and then be good to other people, Or you can love them more. And as a byproduct, You get better with yourself. Do you understand? So I, I moved into a lot of self love through my work with people. I love people. And then I eventually learned to love myself. Some people love themselves first, And then they share it with people. Yeah, You see, Your, Your perplexness bears because I'm wanting you to come off this wall where you spend your life. How are you feeling right now? Definitely like brain fog. Right. Easy. Like I'm fine. Like I'm trying really hard to follow it. Yeah. And your face looks sad. So I think actually, What's happening is there's sorrow in there, And you're, You're not aware of it. And you've just gone into fog. See, This is what our ego does. It takes us away from the truth. And and and tries to steer us to play in a in another less dangerous area. Right? Static fog. Yeah. Right. So how do you feel right now? A little relieved. Wow. Yeah, It's still a little foggy, But kind of relieved at recognizing it. Like relieved that there's a dancer to the fog or a possible way out of the fog or just an explanation of it. Or just that. Yeah, That and and also like it's okay. Oh, Yeah, It's okay. Totally. It's okay. You're okay. Any state you're in is okay. Like, It's all okay. Good. So, But your faith has just been looking profoundly sad, As you talk the whole time you've talked to see what I mean. So there are levels that you're Listen, There's a picture of me just before I married my husband, My ex husband who I'd married several times before and each time he left me. Okay, So the picture of me on my wedding day, I look absolutely stricken. Did I feel stricken? No, I thought I was happy. This is what I'm talking about. But this phase, You can see that I know I'm walking into like a slaughterhouse. Yeah, But I was so out of touch with it. So this is what I think is going on with you about this story. You're just not yet. You will. Just hearing this will make the veils more porous actually in all of you. Yeah. Right. I'm seeing you writing poems, Bear, About this and helping yourself that way. Yeah, No, Sweetie. You're a good mom, By the way. Look here. Good mom. Just as you are. Even when you go on the wall dancing on the wall, You're still good mom. This is just waking up work. So it's beyond being a good mom. Right? Yeah, You look absolutely stricken. Yeah, No, Sweetie. Yeah, Cuz I when I am impatient or harsh with them, I know it matters. And I I do feel that and in the moment, I feel like I can't do anything different. Right, Right. But you can. Okay. Yeah, Good. You can. It's like as a little kid, You were in a straitjacket. Yeah, But you can. Oh, Everybody's crying. Oh, Yeah. Oh, Yeah, You can you can you can pray. You can pray. You can say to your kids. Mummies really cranky. Today. I used to say to my boys, The milk stride up. The cow, You know, The all the milk's gone. There isn't any milk. And they would go off and leave me alone. It's okay. You know, We don't have to be perfect. But this is this is waking up work. So you know, You know, I wish somebody told me this when I was raising mine. You know, It's not to feel bad about yourself. It's to help you find more peace. Put some music on, Ask your partner to take them. Because I'll tell you what, There are a million things to do. A million things you can do in the moment. See, This is what happens to women. It's like we're trying so hard to be good. And then with this waking up work, We, You know, It's like it. It's not good enough. We're not good enough. And then, You know, You have to wake up more and face your ego and everything. And it can seem a lot but it's, It's not it's doable. You know, It's like once you lose being invested in sort of not doing it right. Like you'll, You know, The more you see that you're a divine being, And infinitely powerful. Just pray and follow your heart. Like think of me like inviting the realtor for a date, You know, Like, Whatever it is to do with the kids when you get like that, Even if you're just you get to that you should do a handstand, Do a handstand, Do a headstand, Open a pack of sugar cookies. I don't I don't know what your soul your soul will help you through it though. So just open to it. It's just your mind that's caught you. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, And you could have a hat that you wear when you're cranky. Really, Like, We could, You know, I'll tell you this world would be so much happier if we women got like, We can just be ourselves as we raise our kids. You know. Listen, I remember once asking my mom if she thought it was okay that I used the boys, The dog's voice to send the boys to bed. So it stopped us. We never had a fight. But I felt like I was doing something kind of taboo, Something not allowed. Do you see what I mean? That's what it's like. And I went, Shit, It's fantastic that you do that. But I felt like, Oh, It's not allowed. It's not proper. But of course, It's brilliant. I had two chorus boys. You could have fought every night about bedtime, You know, Where the dog knitted. There was no fights, I'll tell you. And it went on till they were like 11 and 13 or so it just kept going. We didn't have one fight. And they go, Okay, Belle. I go, Okay, You guys time for bed. And they go, Okay, Belle. And they went to bed. It's like, I know. It's like, I love it. You see, I had to give myself permission to do this. That's all sweetie. You just need to be a bit foolish. And just experiment there like, You know, Listen, Consider it an impossible situation. And if there is one minuscule improvement, That's good. Okay, Look at it like that. Okay. And I mean that seriously. Okay. Okay. Okay. And you can also pray for a breakthrough about it. So you just get easier with yourself. Okay. Oh, Funny. When I said that pray for a breakthrough, I could feel like your ego doesn't want a breakthrough. Okay, This is what we're like. Okay. But even me saying it. Sorry. That's how I feel. I'm so angry. It's like, Like, Right now, There's a lot of not a lot, But when it happens, It gets really intense. There's just this struggle like this defiance. And I know that there have been times where getting kind of goofy really works. But at that point, I'm so past goofiness. Like, I just want them to listen, And they won't listen. And then I feel like I failed because they won't listen to me and they're out of hand. And I'm blaming them because they're just being two and four. And I feel how angry and stubborn I am. It's like I don't want to pray. I want them to. I want it. Like, I feel like I'm also a little four year old with him. I know. What bothers me about all this is that you're very good observing, But you're going along with it. Like you're seeing the darkness of it, You know, But where's your will for screw this? I'm not doing this anymore. That's what I'm this where I mean like that you like dancing on this wall. You'll dance intricate dancing of all the reasons why whatever it's like, Just stop doing it. Like choose freedom. Because I'll tell you, You're you're just staying bound up. The other thing you know, There's time out. I once will tell you what I was staying with a woman once who had a very difficult child. And I took a hose and I poured water all over them. And that they never, They never bothered me again. Yeah. And when I when I did it, I thought, Oh, No, I'm really going to get in trouble from the mom but she totally understood. It was just no dealing with this kid. So you know, I don't know, Get a squirt gun. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, Just really a squirt gun. Well, You know, After put out there, Ask them to put out their hand and then squirt their hand. And this is like really serious punishment. And then they'll probably laugh, You know, Like, But, Sweetie pie, I look, It's really easy. I'm not in the situation. I don't have any karmic connection to your children. Do you understand like, You know, Just do your best. And if you make any small victory, That's good news. And if you can't do anything, Just imagine me hugging you or I'm hugging you, Or angels hugging you. Okay. I remember for them, You're like a monster. You're way taller than them. So we're like, We forget that. We're powerful like monsters for them. I mean, It's why kids grow up and then they're, They're too hard on themselves. They're way too hard on themselves beyond what their parents want them to be. It's just because parents seem so big to little kids. Just Yeah, You know, Just go through it. Just do your best. You know, You're not a sinner. Okay. I mean, It's fantastic that you're even talking about this. Do you understand like you're in the 1% of the mums who even admit all this. You know, I once yelled at John so hard before kindergarten once that he went pale. And when we went to kindergarten, I was maybe it was preschool, I was really upset. And and worried and I and I spent the afternoon with him. Because I was so upset at how what I done and that he'd gone into shock over it. And I remember speaking to a mom about it. She said, Oh, That's just normal. I'm going like, Oh, God. This shouldn't be normal. This shouldn't be okay. No. Yeah. Okay, I can feel actually, You know, Sweetie, It's it's the underlying powerlessness that's bothering you. You know, Our era is max, It's an extreme with the powerlessness of the individual. Okay, The socialization is like this huge tractor is running over all of us. And you know, My life is testament that we can tap into the soul and we become really invincible and all our troubles get solved. But I would feel run over by a tractor often. So it's not surprising you feel powerless. Just do your best with it. Okay. Do your best. And you will come up, You know, Maybe my solutions won't work, But your own will. But I'll tell you, If you look back in the future, And you go, Wow, I really did my absolute best with my kids, Then when, When they go through trouble, You can say that to yourself. Do you know what I mean? Like, You know, Like, With my kids, I've always, I always had that that I absolutely did my best, I mean, Mistakes, But I absolutely did my best. Yeah. Uh huh. And so it I haven't had a lot of guilt associated with them at all. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, I mean, I do see my mistakes, But I really, Really, Really tried. So one sense into me. Yeah, Mom, You just tried too hard, You know? Okay. Thanks. I did it wrong. It was just, You know, Pouring salted. Yeah. Okay, Good. Thank you. Yeah. So this is what soul growth is like, Isn't it? You guys? I mean, It's even if the issue isn't parenting, This is it takes us to that vulnerable hurt. Scared, Frightened. Self. Yeah. Yeah. It's all healable. I just want mother bear. Give a kiss. Yeah. Thank you. Actually, She is wonderful. Yeah, Yeah, She is. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And do you know if you try to mess with the kids of a mother bear, You know what happens? That's good. Good lion. I feel so much love to all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, You're, You're pressing, You're letting yourself, You know, Feel you guys. It's good. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, You know, It's all okay. Like at the end of this lifetime, You will wake up and you'll be present with your soul energy. And this will just be the latest dream. It's not the truth of things, You guys. And there's huge love and understanding going on, On heaven. And, You know, We're greeted with just immense support for what we've been through. And there's no judgment. And there's just like a whole bunch of love and, You know, You know, I remember once I had a very difficult experience, And I went and saw Ama. And she greeted me like I went up for a hug and she before she hugged me, She said, Are you all right? It was like, I went, I'm fine. I'm fine. But then I afterwards I thought, Why she say that, And then I was thinking about this difficult experience. And then I realized how much she loved me that she, You know, I had just sort of sucked it up and marched on. You know, Like we do, Right, Ladies, We suck it up and just keep going. And when she said that, I realized what a big experience it had been for me, How difficult it had been. And also how loved, How much she loves me, The chair of it and would be walking with me through it when I didn't even think she knew about it. She knows like, That's how big the love is. That's what I'm wanting. You guys like, You know, I'm not Ama, But there's a lot of love coming a lot of love and understanding. Yeah. Not as much patience, So I have to say, But I don't know who could have the patience on that. I mean, I'm a guitar, You know, They know that if we'll do it this life or next life. How are you doing these days, Alexa? Well, Yeah, Well, Like in the 3D, Rather relieved a little bit because I had a roommate who was quite problematic for about three months. So she left yesterday. So I'm happy about this. Yeah. So. Oh, Good. Yeah. Yeah. So right now it's like it was a good day today. Okay, Good. Yeah. It's all stressful living conditions are tough. Yeah. Well, You have to get a roommate or can you just live by yourself? No, No. Actually, It was just a woman with her son who lived in some kind of house for yeah, Like where women go when they have problems. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know, I just agreed on taking her into my apartment with her son and her son is a good boy, A nice boy, Everything. No problem. But she turned out to be quite borderline. So I'm very happy that I don't have to deal with her anymore. Yeah. Yeah, That's so you that you would take her in. Yeah. Well, I know. But it is. But yeah, You said like the other people are just ourselves. Right. So yeah, I really took that in a little bit more. And yes, So I guess I only have to ask myself, What is it in her that it's exactly that is me actually? Yeah. So, Um, Yeah. Yeah. So be careful with that. Be careful, Because we can blame ourselves on shame ourselves, You know, Like, You know, So with the sharing this work, I have been very democratic, And I would share it with anybody and when I, When I had a rental place, I would rent out to people who showed interest in in the training. And what I learned was that I kind of work works best with a certain kind of people. And I shouldn't even try with other people, Although all of us are equal in the eyes of God do understand, But there's no point me putting honey on hard rock, You know, So, You know, You, You, You know, It just told you more about yourself. And, You know, I don't know, Maybe. Maybe you need your own place for you. I don't know. Like, I just think it's No, No, I don't I don't regret this experience. I'm just telling that it's over. So yeah, Good. Of course. Yeah, Well, I'm thinking why Why is it that I meet certain people all the time that are, You know, This certain kind of way? So like, Meeting borderline people? Yeah, Yeah. Well, A couple things. One is, When I, I have embraced my wildness, But before I embraced it, I used to just, You know, If I went downtown, The nuttiest person on the block would come directly to me, Like you would happen all the time. Or asked to sit down with me just, But then the wilder the more I, I woke up and embraced more and more myself. So that'll settle down. Yeah, Raise my own craziness. Yeah, Craziness. Yeah, Basically. Yeah. Yeah. I can see that much better now. And you told me that it's all Yeah, It's me. The other people are me. So it's like this. Yeah, Just showing me who I am. Yeah. And the more insane bear with you, The more the love and acceptance love, Love of self and self acceptance solves everything. It really does. And you know, Guys, I used to have such trouble with males. And it's the opposite now. You know, Even the you know, The property manager, Who's a really evil guy, And that I bagged it to the, You know, The, The, The gate, The garage. And, You know, He, He actually went the extra mile for me on this. And so, You know, In the old days, I would just be judged and and what's it what's that expression judged and held out to dry or hung out to dry? Yeah, Get blamed, Get you know, And it's it's the opposite that happens. Not good. May it continue. Yeah. So Alex, Bear that the it's for you to love and accept yourself. Okay, Don't measure. Don't measure your child rearing. Okay, Don't focus on that. Focus on love of self and self acceptance and the child rearing will get easier as a byproduct. Okay. Yeah, We make stuff a problem. And we fight it and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. So just take it away from Yeah. Make your focus love self acceptance. Okay, Just do your best. Yeah. And remember, The journey speeds up is more years you've had. So it's harder in the beginning. You know, The first five years are the hardest. Okay, That's good. Okay. You know, I'm feeling this with all of you that there's more willingness to move into the light. It's like you're beginning to understand its sweetness and its bigness and you know, Like I want to say something to you that helps you value yourself. Value yourself like yourself. You're solid gold. Okay. Truly, You're 24 karat gold. Please start with that. Work with yourself. Okay. You are 24 karat gold. Truly. There's levels to which you walk in integrity in the, In the outside world, Like that I've never seen before. Really, I've never seen it. Yeah, Somebody navigate a profession with as much integrity as you do. I've never seen it my whole life. And like taking in this, You talked about paying taxes. I don't do that all the time. So yeah. So, Well, I don't know what to say about that, That the humanity with which you, You know, One of the things about taxes is I usually earn so little but taxes weren't really a problem. Yeah. So I think that you're kind of there. Yeah, Well, There's also like, Doesn't belong to the amount of it. I can't hear this distortion. You have to pay it, You know, You have to pay the VAT tax so you can still not pay taxes when you have income below the tax gate. But yeah. Well, This is just keep steering to the highest good. Okay. So keep steering to the highest good. I once didn't, I couldn't deal with my taxes for three years. And what happened is, Andrea, Your friend Sharon, Did all my taxes for three years. That happened through me knowing Pratibha. So it all got solved. And I was okay with the tax system. So just I faced it when I could. No, Just just give yourself the benefit of the doubt just to Yes, Well, I don't have a bad conscience. I mean, I just don't have this level of integrity concerning taxes. But yes, Well, You know, Finally, What happens, The more you go on, You get you get the integrity with everything. Actually, It's you just do it, You do it all around with everything. As you get higher, You just do. Yeah. But anyway, I feel you sidestepped what I was trying to say to you. I want you to receive what I said said to you. Okay. Because I pick up on energies I pick up on the truth of you. I pick up on the truth of you. So I mean, That is the truth of you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Because that will help you moving into truth. Yeah. Aha. And I'm totally Yeah. Is there anything that you guys want me to talk about? Or any questions or any topics you want discussed? Maybe resistance or, You know, Like, When you kind of have critical thoughts on, Let's say you tell us some truth, And then we maybe don't understand it straight away. Yeah. So how to, You know, Navigate through the resistance, The best. Okay, There are a couple things. One is, You know, With your any thought you have, If you guys understand that thoughts, You determine your vibration by your thoughts to understand. So say the more a person plays in, You know, And I'm not addressing your question, Particularly, I'm talking about this first. Supposing you've got a charge about people and family or anything, And you play there a lot, You are just choosing a low vibration, You understand? Like, You will think your thoughts are real, But they're not. You'll think they're true, But they're not. You're just choosing to play low. Okay, So if you have the effort to, You know, Keep a mantra going or giving everything to Allah or God or whatever, Like catching yourself and, You know, At least observing your thoughts, And if you can't do that, Then I mean, You know, If you can't replace them, Just observing them is enough for you to start playing higher. Okay, I want you guys to really understand the storylines, Any of your storylines are just baloney. Okay. Like, Really, It's just baloney. Okay. So, So every 3D problem we have, We just didn't think about it so much or? Yeah, If you've the more you think about like, Who am I really? You think about the Creator, You go like, You focus on, You know, Amma's imagined sending petals of love to the whole earth. The more you steer that way, The more your problems will dissolve, And your vibration goes up. Yeah. So, You know, With stuff I say, Yeah, Like, There's stuff that just won't be understandable for a while. But as you go up, Then it becomes like two plus two equals four, You go, Oh, Yeah, How could I never? How could I not understand what you say? You go now I get it. Because part of you, It's like, I feel that you're, You've, You're stuck in this little bit of self negation of thinking of yourself as faulty. Not good. You know, If our early life if our family life, I'm not saying about your family life, I'm just saying generically, If our childhood family life was fairly dark, We're used to the dark. In fact, The child gets scared of the light because she had to turn against her own light here she had to turn against her own light to fit in. So we get scared of the light as adults, And we feel more happy negating ourselves thinking of ourselves as just kind of chronically unhappy, Or we'll never get out of it. It's all hopeless. It's just what the child learned to do. Yeah. And you know, The thing is, So I'm seeing some light coming to your belly, Alexa. So as this light comes, What will happen is you might have an experience of darkness. It's like, But this darkness is clearing. So this light can come in and be integrated in like one of you, Katiba, You had the experience of finally kind of realizing God was in your body, Right? Okay, When you realize that the whole game changes, It all changes. You start a higher journey of actually learning how to embody your divinity. And this is this is why I wanted you in the group. And it's why I said like, You have to stay for a year. No escape. So you could walk through this and come in because you're just on the cusp and it's good. I'm traveling and I'll be able to see you. Because there's this light coming to your belly and it's like, You can go like me too. I can do it to me too. All of you guys say, You know, Me too. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Me too. You too. This is it. It's gradual. It's gradual. Yeah. That's it. And and as I was saying to Patipa too, Like, You know, You get or maybe it was somebody else you get you get used to like, Walking around in sort of this dense stuff, You know, For maybe a week, Stuff comes up. And and then, You know, You get much lighter. Elephant, We were just talking about that, You know, Stuff comes up and is heavy and things like but you know, Within a week, It's been moved through and life is good. You know, That's, That's how it works. You know, And you just get patient with and you know, That's the point of having a teacher too because the teacher really knows like, I really know how dark it gets like. Yeah, I know how terrifying it can get. Yeah. Yeah. So you're, You're considering what I'm saying, Alexa. So that's good. Yeah, I'm not worried about you at all. Like, You're doing fine. Like, It's all good. You just go through whatever you go through. But you're getting it. Aha. It's it. Getting it. That's what I've always said about this work. You can't, You can't be near me and not get it. Like anybody who hangs out with me will get it. You will, You will. You just can't help it. Uh huh. Yeah, It just comes in gradually. So the whole point of a teacher makes it is the easiest way to grow. This is by far the easiest way. Yeah. It's the fastest, Easiest way. But it's still unpleasant sometimes. Like, I get it. Yeah, It's still really hard sometimes. Yeah. Uh huh. So there are three paths. There's the path of wisdom, Which and the people are called Yanis. And they, They go through their experience and then knowledge of how the universe gradually develops. And finally, When they get high enough, They start really experiencing devotion. They see that true knowledge is really devotion. The way of the devotion, The person's loves right away, Loves and serves. And gradually through helping people, What happens is they develop knowledge, Like of what works and what doesn't work. And so the Yanis, The people of wisdom and the people of devotion, They meet the top, Like they get it. There are different ways, There are different roads to Rome. And the way of the karma yogi is to do through service in the world, Like work and action and doing everything for God. So they're not attached to it, Giving everything to God. And that's another way. And I think the West, We need to know that because I didn't know that I was a Yani, The path of knowledge. I didn't understand what the matter with me was. I'm just like classic, Somebody who doesn't want to do anything other than just pray and find out about God. And that's their life's work. They don't really have a career. I just thought there was something wrong with me for years. My family is like, Get a job. The boys when they were little, They said, Mom, Will you please get a job at Chuck E. Cheese, Please, Mom. I'm like, No. I remember my dad really wanted me to get a job and I just couldn't, You know, And people in devotion will, You know, They'll, Whether they're working or not, They will just, You know, Be devoted, Like invite single mothers and children into their, Deliver them for three months. That's my hat off. So those really are the three ways, You know, So you can think about which way is your way. And the Yanis, The path of wisdom, I mean, The negative part of it is it's easy to be heady about the journey in the early years before you really start tapping into the devotion, Before you really start tapping into self love and start sharing that love in a devoted way. So but when I look at my progress, The reason I've progressed was because I was so devoted to helping people learn this. So actually, All the three, We do all the three ways, But usually we're more pronounced with one aspect. So I was devoted to but still this path of knowledge is strongest in me. Does this make any sense? Are there any questions about it? Just helps to know which which one you are? Yeah. I would share my love with with others. So I don't know how I will do this, But I will do this. I don't. Yeah. I think like, Teaching you mean or sharing, Sharing the I think it's a part with my artwork and, And teaching, Maybe I don't know. Yeah, You'll, You just, You'll just get propelled and you know, Maybe you're doing it already, You know, Be just doing it. I mean, I kept on waiting to like waiting, But all along, I was just doing it. Yeah. You know, The most powerful thing we can do is just increase our vibration as we live our lives. If we don't do anything else, That is the most important thing. Really, You don't have to work or even help people or anything. If your vibration goes up, That is the biggest help for humanity. Because that strengthens the truth of everybody on the planet. Okay, You do that. Yeah. Okay. As I would love to be myself. Yeah, Just that. Yes. Just be myself. Yeah. Yeah. I think, You know, The paintings, Maybe they'll, You know, Maybe they'll be going on beyond your life. You don't know. Yeah. Mm hmm. And we were not in control of that. It's like, God's in control. Yeah. Just every morning, You know, If you get up, Like Ama said, Every every day, Ask, How can I help? Hmm. You know, Okay, I write down this. Get out of bed, Like give the day over to God and ask, How can you help? You know, Other people, Yourself, All of it. But go conscious. I mean, This is what this training is that you like, You know, You pick up your cross and you walk. Christ said, You know, You pick up your cross, You have to carry, You go forward with the wounding that you've got, And you just do your best with it, Focused on serving God. That's what you see. Sometimes people when they come just want to use the love that's coming through me and prop them up, Prop their egos up. There's been a lot of that. That's not it. That that won't work. They'll do nothing for you. Every morning get up. How can I serve? How can I understand more? How can I help here? Then anything from me or you know, Coming from this one or coming from the Creator, It will all speed your journey, It will all enhance the world. Don't, Don't just use it for your own to feel better. Won't work. But egos always start doing that, Like they start off doing that, Then you realize that doesn't work. So we're all the same. When we start, We don't really even know that there's something other than our egos. You know, We might know it theoretically, But we might not have felt it. So some of you are feeling left behind. I don't need to do that. I wanted to spur you on you guys. I mean, It's like, That's what I did. Like these are things that I did that got me here. You see? So do them. Oh, I can feel, I've got this big veil, These big walls come up. It's like, Oh God. It's what we're like, It's okay. It's what we're like. It's like the witch burnings, It's not allowed. I don't want to do it. I'll lose my security. I don't know, I'll get fired. My husband will leave me. I don't know, Whatever it is. But anyway, I'll tell you, It's safest to do what I'm doing. To do, To really, But it's okay if you don't, You'll just get the results. If you don't do it, You'll get the results of that. Or just wait patiently till you're able to do that. It's okay. I get enthusiastic sometimes. I told you Abraham felt like I was just so resistant. So he almost was trying to write me off. So it's okay, Guys. I get it. I get it. I'll tell you, If you do stuff like that, You will start growing fast. Yeah. Just play with it. See the thing is, You guys are divine beings. You're not who you think you are. So and so born on so and so day. So and so parents. No, That's not you, Really. It's just a coat you're wearing. And happiness comes. Happiness and power comes as you realize who you really are. But really, Ladies, I get it. We have to have patience with our humanity. And you know, When you've got little kids, It's you have to stay stable for them. You know, Like, You know, Maybe don't get too much time off or if you're working, Got to work but just remember you get your deathbed, You know, So it's it's whatever you choose. See, Yeah, I want to say this. You see something like this. It's kind of like club. So it's a lovely club membership and patting on the back and I'm doing it. I'm doing it for club but I get you know, Seen and but I'll tell you there's a bigger club to join which is the creators club. And when you actually walk your talk more, You join the creators club and that is way better than anything. That's way better than anything. So that's where I'm wanting to steer you remember the creators club and it's the most fun of all. Just do your best and you're beautiful the way you are. And we've done a lot today. I may just have ended you know, We may just have reached the threshold for what you can handle because we've been doing this two hours and it's pretty intense. Yeah, But there's always room to walk your talk more you guys and if you make that your growing point, You will blossom this life. Yeah. Okay, Good. Okay, Good. Okay I'm feeling this higher awareness coming to you all it's kind of what I felt like you're all willing you just you know, You just don't know but I'm feeling this higher awareness you're getting get glimmers of this higher awareness of the creators club and I'm talking about of the people who actually really embody it. You know, And it's you know, Sure the fear and everything and when the eco is clearing it's awful but the upside is just stunning. It's just stunning. And you won't have to do it next life. Really, That was the end like you know, Next life when maybe they're not so many teachers around. Are you know, Like half the world's radioactive. I don't know. It's like, Carpe deum, You know, Seize the moment. Who knows what it's going to be like? And maybe as we all do it, Maybe then we don't have to have a radioactive world. That would be nice. I know what I wanted to say before I started, Which is you guys, The scariest thing is to embody the truth of your nature. It's way easier to just yell at someone or be a bully. Be aggressive. You know, Really, Even though that kind of behavior is not sanctioned for women, It's way easier to behave like that, Than to do the deeper work of turning to embody your divinity. And that's kind of the choice. No, That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's why you guys love me because I've done it. I do it. It's way scarier. It takes way more courage. It's way more noble. You know that dear little 16 year old who's doing the work for Mother Nature and everything. I think we're going to have to move in love. Don't think the anger thing is going to work. I think we have to move the love. You guys hold on just a second. We've got an Amazon delivery, So I had to buzz him in. I'm ordering ragi flour because it's high protein and high calcium. In Amazarsarab, We have ragi pancakes, Which are just so delicious. So now I've got a kitchen. I'm going to be making ragi pancakes. My big excitement. So any thoughts or feelings? This is higher awareness coming to you all. I can feel it. When you were talking about moving in love rather than anger, Were you saying the 16 year old is moving in anger or are you saying she's moving in love? Are you talking about Greta? Hold on just a sec. Well, I don't want to talk about it too much. I just it's just the principle of that. Whatever we do in anger won't work. But, You know, You could show anger out of love. But, You know, This is and that would work. And if it's anger out of anger or out of a desperation, That won't work. It's like Gandhi. Gandhi's demonstrations got the England out of India because of his capacity for love. Yeah, That's what did it. Yeah. So that's how change happens. Yeah, Does it really help? I wish it did. It really helps because I thought about Gandhi the last time. I don't know why but it was in my. . . Well, Yeah, I did this video. You know that if we he just told the Indians not to fight the British and the British slaughtered them, Right? But finally, The British got grossed out by their own brutality and left and lost the will to oppose it anymore. You see, This is the power of it. So this is why witnessing works. If you can witness your own darkness and brutality, It evaporates. Do you understand is the same principle? You work inwardly like that. What Gandhi did outwardly. It also works outwardly though, Whereas you know, What is it that, You know, A gentle answer turn away wrath when you're gentle, People's anger disappears. Right. What works in the way of the universe is very feminine. This is it. The universe is actually basically feminine. You know, We start off the baby start off as a female and then that other chromosome comes in. The other chromosome starts manifesting and when men become older, They get more feminine. So yes, Yeah, In the way of the Tao, It's the feminine. It's all the feminine. So this, This is why being women is such a plus because it's just your instinctive way. And once you realize that you don't have to suppress it, And that it has this incredible love part, You'll be able to come forward and, You know, Share the great love power within. This just changes the world as a byproduct. That's it. That's it. So I just felt this big release of love power in my heart. So that will be with all of you guys to just be patient. Remember it's like been doing this decades and hanging around masters for decades. You know, Any comments or questions? I'm experiencing a lot of anger in myself at the moment, Being burned off. I've got these heat flashes in myself. And I, I sometimes I think, I feel like there is some anger in myself, Which is like coming out, But I'm not angry. But it's, You know, It takes all the room of my love for myself. Right. So I'm, Yeah, All the time, I feel the heat, I think, Okay, Again, Some anger burning off. That's good. Yeah, Yeah, I can. It's good. Yeah. So it's in your thoughts to see if you can see your thoughts. Yeah. Or just understand that your thoughts will be running it too. Right. Oh, Yes. Oh, Yeah. Yeah, No. Okay, This is this is Yeah, So you can see you don't buy into it again. So you know, My body's bought my thoughts are running it too. And it's burning off anything that helps you open the door to the Creator. Do you understand? Yeah. Oh, Yeah. Oh, Yeah. Yeah, Because we've all been trained to stand on top of the wall. But you know, We're losing the earth. So we don't want to do that anymore. So you guys to remember, You can send me questions or, You know, You can even you know, Whatever. I'm here behind you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So bear you still look a little stricken and I couldn't Can you just like have a get out of jail card for me or something? Can you just like you're beautiful. You don't have to feel bad at all. Like it's just great. You're just in progress. Yeah, Yeah, No, I do feel much better. I I really do. I'm feeling really inspired and uplifted. Okay, This talk. Yeah. Okay, Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah, You're, You're, We're entitled to be ourselves. You can be yourself. I mean, That's it. You just you come back to yourself, You're yourself and you just evolve. That's your identity you evolving. Or any job description or anything, It's you evolving. And it's the hardest walk of all but the the blessings are the biggest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I used to wonder why the story of my son with the leukemia wasn't picked up more, But I realized it was because it had to do with showing that we have a lot of power to see in this time where people feel so powerless. The story of the leukemia is like the power of the power of just saying no, The power of asking for for something else than the usual to happen. For going outside the box. Yeah. So it requires effort work. Yeah, And points to that, You know, We have a lot of power. And this is like, We're an extreme right now of powerlessness, The pressures on the society are extreme for the individual powerlessness. So that's this deeply waking up work is a solution to the mess that we're creating. And it's also the most radical thing you can do. But it's much happier than going along with like being run over by a tractor. So like, Why would one do it? Right? Because it's just too depressing to walk around within the usual powerless mode. Yeah, Being asleep. It's like when, You know, With my mom's example of just going, Being unhappy and going that turning off all her soul powers to fit in with a corporate life. And it was, You know, Just watching that I couldn't do that again. Just the stupidity of it, I just couldn't do it. And then I knew that my sons would have even more difficulty than we had. Because I knew better. And if you know better, But you do something, Then the results are disastrous. In case you haven't noticed. Have you noticed that yet? If you know better, But you do something, It always backfaddling because you're not allowed to do that. Especially on the journey, I'll tell you. I want to scare you. But as soon as you get humble, The backfire clears and it's all alright again. Just like dealing with, You know. Once they're open to learn, Then you can go sweet with them again. You know, Bear, I like the idea of the squirt gun in the hands, Putting their hands out. You squirt. Yeah, They would get a kick out of that. They would. But you know, They might, You know, It might work. Just experiment. Just experiment. Yeah. So that's, You know, That's where it's like the single mom, With the boys, The dog's voice was just came out of my desperation, Really. You know, Two Taurus boys with opposite temperaments. I was like, Oh God. So it brought out the best in me. Okay, Well, I'm going to think. Oh, I was just going to say, I had a conversation with John, With my husband the other day around and he said something or asked me something about, Like, He was talking about something in the news, You know, Like he follows a lot of the geopolitics and things that are happening and gets really concerned. And he was telling me something and I just was kind of like, Oh, Oh yeah. And his comment was like, You don't seem that interested. You don't seem that like. And my, It was the first time I felt I was able to really clearly and articulately say that I felt like the best impact I could have was doing my own work. Like to what you were saying, Just a minute ago about like raising your vibration. And it was really cool because it's something I've struggled with. You know, He's so much of a doer. Yeah, World. And you know, As my journey progresses, And I feel like I have this different focus, It's like, Well, How do how do we coexist? And how do I respect like, What he feels is important. And also he respects mine. And it was just a really cool conversation where I was able to just say it. And he really heard it. And it wasn't an argument. And it wasn't like, One way was better. It was just, Right, Like, That is taking your power. And it often comes after a lot of internal work. Check this, It took a lot of internal work to get there. But then you did it. It's just like that. That's it. That's it. Yeah, It's such a really, Really validating. It's fantastic. The fact that it's very feminine, You just speak it, You know, Clearly without charge. That's it, Ladies. Cool. Okay. Okay, Very last call for any comments or questions. Okay, Well, This has been a joy, You guys like, Oh, Anna, The elephant. Did you want to say something? Oh, I just want to say thank you. And it was, It's always so many things coming into me and working with me internally. And so I don't know what to say, Just thank you. And it will, It will give me some new impulses for the next weeks, I suppose. And I know already. So but I can't articulate them. So yeah, Just prickly. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Blessings, You guys. It's wonderful. And I'm, I'm, I'm just thrilled, Happy that we're walking together like, And some of the shifts that I felt happening. This one for all of you, This higher awareness, All of you are going to understand it better in the next few weeks. This, This is really I'm like, Blissed out. Absolutely blissed out. Good work, All of you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Blessings, You guys. Blessings. Thank you. I'll see you erroneously.