Hey guys,
It's Ruben here.
And this is about the inner critic turning toward the part that judges.
So the science of this is always helpful because fighting the inner critic will often,
If not always,
Make it louder.
And this is what we're taught to do,
Right?
Resist can we can we can we can win right but on the inside on our inner world in our inner world whether it's thoughts or feelings what we resist persists what we fight we strengthen so The critic.
The inner critic.
This part of our mind that is.
It has evolved this way.
The inner critic feeds on this resistance.
It's like arm wrestling with yourself.
Turning toward the critic with curiosity,
Starting to recognize this is my mind.
This is what my mind is doing.
These thoughts are automatic.
They just happen.
They're happening.
To me.
Can help us start to make some changes.
So When the inner critic.
.
.
Is happening.
The threat response activates.
But when we can notice,
When we can recognize,
Aha,
Here's the inner critic.
This is my inner critic just doing its job.
Then we start to recognize and.
Cortisol lowers we start to get a sense of feeling more grounded because we're showing up for ourselves with validating self-talk This means unhooking,
Not giving energy to the automatic self-talk which doesn't serve us.
We come to validating self-talk,
Which does serve us.
It does help us.
Validating in the sense of this is not nice for me to experience this critic right now.
I'm going through a tough time.
I don't like these thoughts.
I don't want these feelings.
But right here and now,
I'm here for me.
And this is my inner critic.
And as if it wasn't bad enough already,
Because of what I'm going through,
Here's my inner critic giving me even more of a hard time.
This is part of being human.
And the more we can recognize that,
The more it lightens the load for us and we start to get some distance from our thoughts.
We start to see the inner critic instead of be the inner critic.
See it instead of be it we start looking at our thoughts instead of from them.
And of course,
Of course.
It takes practice,
But the more we do this,
The more we do this,
The better we get.
You're not just getting the benefits in that moment of unhooking from the inner critic.
You're benefiting your future self.
Another important thing to mention.
Is that the inner critic even though it feels like it's trying to destroy us.
It's unkind.
Right.
It's actually.
Only doing what it knows.
So the inner critic only knows how to be an inner critic.
It doesn't know a better way of going about it.
It's just like a six year old having a meltdown.
That six year old in that moment only knows that.
The inner critic only knows that.
The inner critic doesn't have.
Awareness it doesn't have empathy it doesn't have kindness but you do You do have the capacity for that.
So this is where we can start to reframe things and actually at times from from time to time,
Not 100 percent at the time,
Because that's not fair on you.
Right.
Or us as humans,
Because we can't do things 100 percent at the time.
But from time to time to just see.
The inner critic for what it is.
This is a collection of thinking patterns that are automatic.
And right here and now I'm choosing.
Not to give energy to these.
I hope this video was helpful.
And if you're interested,
I've got a body of work called Never Mind Your Mind.
And we dive deep into some of the insights and tips and tools that can be helpful for us.
