Seeing The Delusion Of I, Me And Mine In Our Divided World

Tonight,

I'd like to talk about what we think of as the core teaching of Buddhism.

And it is attributed to the Buddha,

Beginning with the oral tradition and eventually written down.

But the Buddha is supposed to have said,

Nothing whatsoever is to be clung to as I or mine.

Whoever has heard this has heard all the teachings.

Whoever practices this has practiced all the teachings.

Whoever realizes this has realized all the teachings.

That's all we have to do.

Just not cling to something as I or me or mine.

It sounds pretty easy.

And of course,

As we know,

It isn't.

It's a radical concept.

It was radical in the Buddha's time.

And it is radical to this day.

Teaching that the idea of a separate self,

A fixed self,

Apart from the world,

That that's a delusion.

And that's confusing because our minds tell us everywhere we look,

With everything we do,

No,

No,

I'm separate,

I'm me,

I'm doing my thing.

And when we try to talk about it,

It's confusing.

For some of you,

Our reading tonight from Dogen may have been confusing because he is often difficult to understand.

But it merits the effort when you have the time and when you have a support group to help you read Dogen.

Well,

It looks to us in so many areas of our life,

Like when one person gains,

The other one loses.

And we talk all the time about winners and losers.

I mean,

All we have to do is watch two toddlers playing with one toy to understand how this works.

You know,

Somebody takes the toy from somebody else and there are tears and maybe somebody gets hit.

And of course,

What we try to do is help our children learn that when we share,

There are less tears,

There's less suffering,

There's less violence.

But then,

Of course,

We have to ask ourselves,

How well have we learned this lesson as adults in our world?

There was an article recently in the New York Times about zero-sum thinking.

It's a concept in psychology.

It's a worldview,

The idea basically that there are finite resources,

Limited things that are good to get,

And that when one person gains,

The other loses.

It's a very common mode of thinking,

But in fact,

Research shows us that there are very few situations where that is actually the case.

But we see it everywhere.

We think we see it.

I mean,

We see it in our own lives when someone in our family gets all the resources we think we need,

Or at work when somebody else gets the promotion,

Or somebody else takes credit for my idea.

And we have these myths in our cultural life that immigrants steal our jobs,

That when women get ahead,

Men lose.

And think about America first.

I mean,

That is writ large,

This idea of zero-sum thinking.

And in fact,

When that became the battle cry of the political movement that we all know,

Several years ago,

A humor group in the Netherlands put out a little video that essentially was an advertisement for the Netherlands,

Saying,

Okay,

America will be first,

And then the Netherlands should be second.

And they had people dancing in wooden shoes,

And they had windmills,

And everybody was really happy.

To point out the absurdity of saying that any body,

That any country is first,

That some countries are lesser,

That some people are lesser.

And the Buddha pointed this out because he saw it everywhere.

And this zero-sum thinking is in contrast to that saying that you've probably heard,

A rising tide floats all boats,

That when people prosper,

Everybody prospers.

When people are well,

Everybody is better off.

And in Buddhism,

We have this metaphor of Indra's net.

That's a metaphor for our interconnectedness.

This idea of a net with jewels at each point in the net,

Each place where the threads cross,

And each jewel perfectly reflects every other.

It is a metaphor for us,

For our lives,

For every human being,

Every creature,

Every one of the 10,

000 things.

We all reflect each other,

And we're all completely interconnected.

Well,

If the Buddha is right,

Then why are we lost in this loss-and-gain thinking?

This zero-sum thinking,

What keeps us hooked?

Well,

Usually,

This thinking is based on fear.

It's based on the feeling that I won't have what I need,

Or I won't get what I deserve.

Or,

In the deeper sense,

That I don't matter enough.

And in the still deeper sense,

The sneaking suspicion that this self that I want to protect and get more for,

That this self is really a fiction.

Many of you know the Dalai Lama's famous saying,

The wise,

Selfish person takes care of others.

What does he mean by that?

Well,

Of course,

He means that what goes around comes around.

That if we really want to be good to ourselves,

We will be good to others.

Because the suffering that goes around comes back to us.

Again,

This is so hard to understand,

Because often,

In the short term and in the narrow view,

It looks like taking care of others means we lose.

I mean,

We see it everywhere.

I see it in my hometown of Newton,

Where,

In fact,

It looks in the short term like people without children or people with grown children shouldn't be willing to pay more taxes,

More property taxes,

To support the Newton schools,

Which are very good.

But when we take the broader view,

It turns out that one of the reasons why our houses hold their value is because the school systems are good.

And so people want to live in Newton,

And people want to live in Newton if we maintain the quality of the education that we give to our children.

Think about housing for homeless people,

And how often we see opposition to that.

And yet,

If we leave people unhoused,

Uncared for,

Our cities become almost uninhabitable in certain places.

Or finally,

As any epidemiologist understands,

Indra's Net is very real.

Those who don't want to be vaccinated,

Who don't want to have their children vaccinated,

Are certainly not taking care of others,

Not taking care of those vulnerable children who might have compromised immune systems.

But they also then set us all up for the spread of diseases that don't have to spread.

Again,

A short-term view,

An individual focus that leads to long-term widespread suffering.

So,

How does this relate to us as students of Zen?

Well,

We can notice where this operates for us.

So each of us has our places where we feel like someone else's gain is our loss.

We have places where our hearts close down,

Where we jump to defend what's mine.

I know one of my places,

Because I live in an academic world,

Is when I feel like I don't get credit for my idea or my contribution.

When in the grand scheme of things,

Who cares?

But it can cause pain and suffering.

Where is it for you?

What are the places where you find yourself contracting?

Where you find yourself holding on to I,

Me,

Mine?

Those are the places to look.

And how do we practice with it?

Well,

Dogen says,

To study the Buddha way is to study the self.

To study the self is to forget the self.

To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things.

And in fact,

When we practice,

Particularly allow ourselves intensive practice,

There are moments where body and mind fall away.

And there's just the breath,

The heartbeat,

The feel of the breeze,

The sun through the leaves,

All of that.

And the sense of I,

Me,

Mine falls away.

Many people find this a wonderful experience.

Some people find it very disconcerting.

But we don't need to have any special experience in practice to be able to see the way that our actions,

Our generous actions,

Promote everyone's well-being and our selfish actions make us all suffer.

So one way that I like to practice is to notice when I don't want to give something.

When I don't want someone else to get that last chocolate chip cookie on the plate.

It sounds ridiculous,

But I can care about these things.

Or when I don't want someone else to get an award.

All of these ways that I notice myself contracting.

And that's where we can practice.

And when possible,

To practice giving in those instances.

Giving what's hard for us to give.

Giving the support that allows someone else to succeed and thrive when it's hard for us to do it.

And as we notice these places where our hearts contract,

This can soften.

We can become more generous.

We can become more certain that we don't need to cling to I,

Me,

And mine.

And then we feel more able to see this delusional,

Zero-sum thinking where we see it in the world.

And to name it.

To call it out.

To step forward and speak the truth of what we know.

And to point out the suffering that ensues when we separate ourselves out.

Whether it's America first,

Or me trying to grab that last chocolate chip cookie.

At every level,

This separation is what the Buddha pointed to as the generator of the suffering,

The destruction.

The unnecessary pain in our world and in our hearts.

And so,

I want to come back to Uchiyama that we read in our Sutra service.

Usually we set up a world in opposition to our self.

And then go about trying to pocket as much wealth,

Power,

Or happiness from that world as we can.

Yet when our way of life accords with the Buddha Dharma,

We no longer construct a world in opposition to what we think of as our self.

When you accord with Buddha Dharma,

Your true self is the entire world.

And in this world,

There is no possibility of exchange.

The life of the self,

The true self,

Is not apart from our functioning in the world.

Everything we encounter is our life.

Thank you.