When Should I Tell The Truth To A Child

My name is Sangeet,

And today I want to share something important with you.

So many of us have children or connect to children in different ways,

While others of us don't.

In any case,

We all were children in the past,

Raised by one or more people.

By this,

We can easily comprehend that being a child matters,

Since it is the early stage of our lives in this planet,

Representing the foundation for whatever our life is or will be.

However,

So many of us,

For so many reasons,

Forget how essential this is.

And with this,

So many of us fall into the trap of hiding the truth from children related to so many specific or general subjects.

These little bodies appear to be so immature and so fragile,

And even so innocent and naive,

That we as bigger bodies easily think that these little bodies don't understand or see anything beyond our limited perception of their own skills.

But these little bodies are stronger,

Smarter,

And way wiser than we may think.

And in many cases,

They may actually have the ability to surprise us with how much they know,

With how much they process and feel,

And with how much they are capable to adapt,

And to even show us the path to a more beautiful and compassionate way of being.

But still,

So many of us prefer to close our eyes to this reality and to perpetuate that one thing that none of us really approve or like,

Which is lying.

We keep on inventing stories and excuses to our children,

Deviating ourselves from the truth and from the responsibility to share it with them.

It can happen with little daily things or with major significant ones that we fear that will be disappointing,

Refusing to acknowledge that any disappointment is only bigger when there is a lie in the first place.

With each day that a child believes in Santa Claus comes the day in which the child finds out that Santa Claus is not real,

Right?

Sometimes we keep covering the truth,

Afraid of taking away the magic,

Like with Santa Claus' story.

But what we don't realize is that all that does is covering the real magic,

The magic of life,

As pure as it is.

We keep the very best aside while we give cramps based on false promises of happiness.

And this may happen because we ourselves don't see life as magical,

And so we think that for these little bodies that we call children we have to pretend for as long as it takes as if we were telling them that the only reason that they have some magic in their life is because we are lying to them,

And so they should enjoy while they can,

Because after this it will only get worse.

And it can indeed get worse when they actually realize how much they were lied to by those who were supposed to be nothing but pure love and honesty.

And of course,

Santa Claus' story is just a metaphor for so many lies out there.

Our relationship with children can get so confusing that at some point we may even wonder at what age they should know the truth.

The answer is quite simple,

All we have to do is to ask ourselves until what age would we want to be lied to,

And also until what age are we willing to lie to them.

Truth is what creates healthy bonds between people,

Not the opposite.

The truth is as genuine and as beautiful as it is,

And it is never meant to be harsh as some of us may think.

The truth is only harsh if it comes from fear,

From a distorted perception of the reality,

From an intentional will to hurt someone with negative limiting thoughts,

Words,

Or behaviors expressed through a judgmental projection without any empathy,

Consciousness,

And self-accountability.

The simple and genuine truth is universal,

Pure,

And it comes from love.

For example,

Could a child feel hurt if we told them that his experience in this planet has a limited amount of time?

Yes,

If for instance we would tell them that we all die and disappear at any moment and in horrendous ways,

And that life is terrible and nothing but suffering,

They probably wouldn't even be able to sleep at night.

This exemplifies a fearful perception projected into someone else,

Perhaps during a state of sadness and frustration.

However,

In reality,

Every single experience is different and unique,

Even if it looks bad from the outside,

And we don't know how it is or how it will be felt and experienced by each one of us,

So why would we limit someone else's potential to be happy,

Including happier than us?

So,

How would it be to tell them the truth in this particular situation?

We would tell them that yes,

This story is not forever,

But it can be beautiful and amazing if we keep sprinkling it with colorful moments of joy and affection.

We would tell them that yes,

This story is not forever,

But our love for them is.

We would tell them that we are what is underneath our bodies,

Which is eternal,

And it deserves and aspires to experience way more than just this.

And we would tell them that whatever happens,

There is always a way,

Always,

And that all we have to do is to trust and to keep listening to our heart.

This is the truth and the magic all together,

Which they receive as a seed that grows into all forms of love throughout their lives,

Because it matches their essence and it makes them instantly smile.

This is the truth and the magic all together that stays in their heart forever and that makes them feel safe and protected and even willing to keep the bond with us,

Because there is no fear,

There is only love,

There is no lie,

There is only truth.

Once I was in a waiting room of a hospital and a woman had just given birth to a baby and her husband came out to tell the news to the rest of the family.

In the meantime,

He told his daughter,

Who was a little kid and happened to be there too,

That her sister,

Who was just born,

Had a gift to her.

The girl looked at father with an outraged expression and said,

My sister has a gift for me?

And he said,

Yes.

And she repeated once again,

My sister?

And he looked at the other members of his family and said,

The doctor has this habit of bringing gifts to baby siblings as if they would come from the babies,

So they don't get jealous.

Not only this father completely denied his daughter's natural ability to hear,

Since he was saying this last word to their family right in front of them as if they couldn't listen,

But he also ignored and suppressed their intelligence,

While he allowed himself to be part of an unnecessary lie based on someone else's fear and assumption that all siblings get jealous when their baby brothers or sisters come into this world.

Would it be so difficult to simply love both daughters equally and show that same love to them by simply say I love you and act accordingly?

So,

If we happen to have a child at our care for any reason,

Let's tell them the truth.

And if we are worried about taking away any magic,

Let's just know that no lie is capable of any magic.

It only covers the real one for as long as it is fed and believed until the day it falls apart and bring tears into our eyes.

Let's tell them the truth.

When?

Always.

From day one.

From the very first second until the very last one.

Let's tell them the truth,

Not through anger and insecurity,

But through tenderness and compassion.

We human adults may look so different from children,

And in appearance we do,

But what is inside those little bodies is exactly what is inside these bigger ones.

We and children are us,

All together.

And all together we deserve the truth,

The pure truth in our hearts,

That one gentle truth that comes from love under any circumstances.