The Science of Self-Care

Welcome to the Shifting with Marlee podcast.

I'm Marlee.

Thank you for joining me wherever you are.

All that I ask of you,

The listener,

Is to have an open mind and an open heart.

And in return,

I offer you myself.

Today we are going to talk about the body,

Our sacred vessels,

Our home,

The vehicle carrying us through this life.

And just as everything on this planet is connected,

Everything in our bodies is connected.

Our bodies are truly magic.

We're going to focus today on self-care because there is so much we can do to support our bodies and we all deserve to feel good.

And self-care is really the ultimate self-love.

Here to share her wisdom with us today and connect the dots is Kaylee McDevitt.

Kaylee is an integrative and functional medicine dietician and is very passionate about women's health.

Welcome Kaylee.

Thanks Marlee.

Thanks so much for having me.

Kaylee and I have been good friends for over 13 years now.

So this feels like a very full circle moment today,

Recording this podcast together.

Thank you so much for being here,

Kaylee.

I'm so grateful and I love you so much.

Oh,

I'm grateful to be here and I love you too.

I also can't believe it's been 13 years.

I know,

Time flies.

Before we dive in,

Can you let people know where they can connect with you?

Sure.

I spend most of my like educational time over on Instagram and it's just at Kaylee RD.

My website is the same,

So I do post some blogs over there,

But mostly you can find me on Instagram.

Great.

And I just want to point out to everyone listening that Kaylee shares so much amazing information online.

I've learned so much from her and I highly recommend you connect with her online.

So we're going to jump around a little today,

But all topics that affect our whole body and we're going to get sciencey and we're going to talk about how we can support our bodies through self care practices.

So Kaylee,

Let's jump right into a big topic,

Stress.

It's something every one of us experiences at varying degrees every day and throughout our lives.

So how does stress affect the body?

Oh man,

I feel like this is especially timely,

Like just where everybody is right now in the world to talk about stress.

So stress is ubiquitous,

Like it's literally everywhere.

And it involves not just the things that we think about as stress,

Like work or finances or relationships,

But also,

You know,

How we're respecting or disrespecting our bodies.

So are we like fueled appropriately?

Are we dehydrated?

Are we skimping on sleep?

Like all of those things impact that stress bucket.

And when stress exceeds our ability to recover from it,

Then we start to have a breakdown of the way the body works.

So we literally have tissue breakdown when stress is high.

So things like the lean muscle mass that you might be working to build now is going away.

We burn through a ton of really important nutrients under stress,

Like magnesium and our electrolytes.

And then it does throw our hormones into a tizzy too.

And my work is in the women's health space.

And so we deal with a lot of like cycle irregularities or cycle symptoms or infertility.

And really at the root of all of that is unmanaged stress,

Because when the body doesn't feel safe as a result of that stress,

Like one of the first things that changes is our hormone production.

So I got into women's health out of like my own necessity,

Navigating my own hormone issues.

And over the years have found it's really just a way to like relate back to how we're treating ourselves and this whole idea of self-care.

And that's really the sweet spot,

I guess,

Of women's health.

So stress affects literally everything,

Sleep,

Hormones,

Digestion,

Nutrient status,

Muscle mass your brain,

All of it.

Wow.

And what are some signals our body gives us when our stress level is too high?

Yeah.

One of the earliest ones,

At least for me personally,

And we see it a lot in our clients is sleep disruptions,

Particularly either having a hard time winding down at the end of the night,

Like you're laying in bed,

But your brain is still racing or you fall asleep fine,

But you wake up and you're like fully alert and awake in the middle of the night.

And again,

It's like racing mind,

Fully awake,

Kind of stuck in that fight or flight.

So that's one big one is sleep.

Another one is either complete absence of appetite or really intense cravings for like salty or sweet things.

And that really depends on how long the stress has been going on for you,

Whether it presents as less or more in the appetite department cycle changes.

So that could mean missed cycles,

Delayed cycles,

Or more symptomatic ones.

So maybe that PMS is more significant.

And then it can mean some body composition changes too.

So we talked about the loss of lean muscle mass when stress goes unchecked.

And there's usually some midsection like weight gain that happens when stress is high too.

So you might notice,

Man,

I'm doing the same workouts,

But I'm not seeing the same payoff with that.

Wow.

So it's really a full body reaction.

It's kind of scary for sure.

For sure.

So why is it important to manage stress and get our bodies out of that fight or flight mode?

Yeah.

So in the women's health space specifically,

You know,

Men deal with stress too,

No doubt,

But their systems are a little bit less delicate than the female cycle.

When there's stress that's unchecked for long periods of time,

That is literally telling your body,

I am not safe.

That's like the same message we get to the brain every single time.

And if the brain is saying or getting messages that it doesn't feel safe,

It's going to change the way we produce our hormones.

And that affects the symptoms that we have day to day,

Our fertility,

Our mood,

Our brain,

Like literally everything is impacted by hormones.

And so if we don't get on top of this whole stress thing,

We're always chasing these surface level symptoms.

And that might mean like spending a ton of money on supplements or like different modalities or even different tests.

But if we're not looking at what's going on with stress,

That's driving this whole process,

We totally missed the mark.

And we just end up spinning our wheels,

Spending money that we don't need to spend and just not getting better.

And you know,

I should say the goal is not to live a stress-free existence because that's truly not possible in the world that we all live in today,

But it's to build the resiliency to that stress.

So there's certain things we can do with diet and lifestyle to increase resiliency,

And then also mitigating the stress we have control over because we can't just like quit all of our jobs and like abandon our families if those are sources of stress.

But there are other options that are within our control that we can change to help make sure that we've got the capacity to deal with stress that's out of our control.

And when our bodies are in that fight or flight mode and don't feel safe,

We can't heal,

Right?

Absolutely not.

Healing is not a priority,

Survival is.

Right for your body.

Right,

Exactly.

And I think we all want to heal and we all want to feel our best.

And in order to show up in the world fully,

We have to focus on ourselves,

Fill our own cup and honor our body's needs.

Yep.

I think that's what it is.

I think that's a practice in listening to those signs and symptoms.

And instead of being like,

Oh,

It's so annoying,

My sleep is in the tank this week,

Or it's so annoying,

My energy is low.

It's like looking at those symptoms with curiosity and being like,

What is it that my body's trying to tell me?

This is amazing that we get this communication and this real-time feedback of how we're living our lives.

But if we can listen to that and then make some change,

That's the magic.

But most of us are trained to like ignore those symptoms or suppress them.

You're so right.

And I know that stress management is something you work with your clients on since it's so beneficial.

So what are your favorite stress management practices?

So the first one is actually to make sure you're eating enough.

And I think people are generally surprised to hear that recommendation.

Like being a dietician,

I feel like most people think that's helping people lose weight or writing meal plans.

And normally,

If you're somebody that's dealing with hormone symptoms or unchecked stress,

We actually have to make sure you're eating enough.

And there's a lot of purposeful and accidental under eating going on.

Sometimes we just are totally unaware.

But when we think about the sources of stress that are under our control,

How much we eat and what we eat is something that's in our control.

And if we're missing that,

If we're accidentally like so busy that we forget to eat lunch or forget breakfast or just nibble on something between work calls,

That's such strong,

I'm not safe signals to the brain that are going on all day.

And we have to have raw materials from the food that we eat to even replete those nutrients that get lost from stress and have like energy to heal.

So that's the first place that we go is how are we eating?

Are you actually nourishing yourself?

Are you respecting hunger and fullness cues?

Or have you,

Like most of us that have lived through the last several decades,

Gotten really good at just ignoring those things.

So we start there.

The next one would be like hydration and mineral status.

So again,

If we're dehydrated because the day got away from us,

That's a strong stress signal to the body too.

So I'm big on like adding good quality salt into the mix or like trace minerals or magnesium.

There's so many great minerals that we don't get a ton of from our soil today that we used to get much more of.

And minerals for the most part are very calming to the nervous system.

So that's a big part of our initial framework for stress.

So food,

Hydration,

And minerals,

We look at their exercise and make sure that we're not doing too much.

You know me because we've been friends for so long,

But I used to run marathons,

Which is hilarious to think about.

And I thought I was like the epitome of health in those days.

But exercise is a stress.

It can be a good one,

But only if we have adequate recovery.

And sometimes when people are really stressed,

They use exercise like high intensity training as an outlet for that stress,

But it ends up adding insult to injury.

So we want to make sure that movement is supportive and not taking more resources.

Thank you.

That is so amazing,

Kaylee.

And beyond those lifestyle choices with stress management,

What about focusing on mental health?

Because I know you like to work on that with your clients as well.

Yeah,

For sure.

And I'm a big,

Big fan and proponent of therapy and any other mental health teammates we can get into somebody's care team.

But even as simple as starting a gratitude practice or some journaling in the morning or focusing on your breathing is a really big one too.

I think a lot of us run around really shallow chest breathing throughout the day,

And that directly tells your nervous system,

Okay,

We're in a high stress situation.

So if we can just slow down and actually breathe using our diaphragm,

Like breathe into our bellies,

Instead of sucking that belly in so tight all day,

We can calm the nervous system down.

So I like that as a stress management tool,

Because you can actually feel that in real time.

I like meditation as well.

Something somebody can develop a practice.

And then recently I've been playing around with tapping.

So like the emotional freedom technique,

And there are great YouTube videos for all of this.

You can just play an app,

Just YouTube this and you'll find some good stuff.

But I really,

Really like breathwork and tapping because you feel a change in your nervous system then,

Whereas like meditation is fantastic and journaling is fantastic,

But that's like a,

Over time you start to notice differences.

So I love support on that end too.

And what are your favorite breathwork techniques?

Cause I know you've dabbled in a bunch.

Yeah.

I think the most accessible one is if you just go to YouTube and type in like box breathing,

That's such a good starting point.

It's gentle.

Um,

The goal is that we're having longer exhales really so that we can slow everything down.

And if you do it on YouTube,

You'll see like a nice video that counts down for you,

But it's usually like four counts in hold for four,

Exhale for four,

Hold for four.

And it's just like slowing you down.

So I like that one a lot.

And then I've done some like in-person Wim Hof method type trainings before too,

Which is,

I don't even really know what the name of that style breathwork is other than probably the Wim Hof method.

And it's much more intense,

But really cool too.

So there's like endless breathwork out there.

There's so many resources out there and free apps too,

That can help you with the breathwork and prompt you.

And everything you just mentioned is so powerful,

Especially with consistency.

And we all need to find the practices that work for us and are sustainable.

And that will look different for everybody.

Absolutely.

Before we started recording this,

Marlee was sharing with me like how she prepped for this call and the space that she created for herself.

And I think like we all have to take an aspect of that into our day-to-day lives.

And I know things are busy,

Especially the parents that might be listening to this and everybody's busy with their work and everything like that.

But if we can't give ourselves like five to 10 minutes a day to just like ground and breathe and think about things that give you a sense of gratitude,

Then man,

We can't expect healing to happen if we can't do that.

So even if it's five minutes,

We've just got to gift ourselves that five minutes to just get centered because otherwise energy is just flowing out all the time and never back in.

Yeah,

Kelly,

That was a really great,

Great summary of why we're even doing this episode.

So thank you.

Yeah,

For sure.

Shifting gears now to another full body topic,

Sleep.

And you've already mentioned how stress and sleep are so connected.

And I really want to focus on it today and give it some time since it's so,

So,

So,

So important.

So do you see sleep issues commonly in your clients?

Yes.

Almost every client that comes in has some kind of sleep issue at the start because that's such a common manifestation of a body that doesn't feel safe.

How do sleep issues affect the body?

Yeah.

So there's a couple of really cool things that happen when we sleep.

One of them is that your brain literally cleans itself when you're in deep sleep,

Which is so cool.

So we have a system called the glymphatic system.

It sounds like lymphatic and it drains into the lymphatic,

But it's specific to the brain.

And that only is in motion when we're in deep sleep.

So if we never get deep sleep because the sleep quality is a mess,

Our brain doesn't get to clean itself,

Which means we've got brain fog.

We can have mood disturbances down the road.

We may be looking at like chronic neurodegenerative diseases if we can't get some of the metabolic waste products out of the brain.

So that's one big thing.

A lot of our hormones and even like digestion and detox related enzymes operate on the same circadian rhythm that we follow with sleep.

So if we're all a mess with the time that we're sleeping or the quality of the sleep,

We don't get like the reset on a lot of those really important hormones and enzymes.

So we get hormonal effects,

Our digestion's impaired,

Our ability to move toxic compounds out as impaired.

So like truly miraculous stuff happens when we sleep.

Absolutely.

And like you mentioned earlier in this episode,

Sleep issues can manifest as a symptom of underlying issues as well.

Yep,

Absolutely.

And there's one other thing about sleep that I want to add to this that I think could maybe connect the dots between some lived symptoms.

When we don't get enough sleep,

Our ability to keep blood sugar stable is significantly reduced just the next day.

Like one night of bad sleep will do that.

And when we typically think about how we feel when we're stressed,

It's like a snacky or really strong sugar cravings or man,

I stress eat so much chocolate.

And it's like,

If we mix high stress and poor sleep together,

It's like a recipe for disaster blood sugar and the types of foods that we gravitate towards.

Yeah,

That's a really great point.

So what should our optimal sleep goals be?

What does a good night's sleep look like?

Yeah.

So we want to establish consistent sleep and wake times for the,

You know,

For the most part within reason,

I know there's probably going to be some nights that you end up being up later,

But ideally it's around the same time every night we want to be asleep and around the same time every morning we want to wake up.

That gives us the best chance of being in sync with that circadian rhythm or the 24 hour body clock.

We also want to make sure that we are aware of light exposure.

So that's the other really big influence on that circadian rhythm is can we see the sun during the day,

Preferably in the morning if we can,

Although this time of year is challenging with how dark it is when we get up,

But light exposure,

Like sunlight into the eyes is telling your body like,

Okay,

It's daytime.

Here's where we are in the circadian rhythm.

And then on the other end of the spectrum at night,

We want to be careful with light exposure too.

So if we get a ton of blue light before bed,

So that's like phones,

TVs,

Computers,

We now don't make melatonin and we're changing our circadian rhythm.

So we want sunlight in the morning and then in the evening creating some routines that either are screen free,

Like that would be the ideal state.

Like we're reading,

Journaling,

Doing a puzzle,

Like anything away from screens.

Or if we're using screens,

We've got some blue light blocking options like glasses or filters that you can use on different screens so that we're not messing with sleep.

So that is what sets the stage for you to actually be able to fall asleep.

And then the sleep environment is key too.

So cold,

Dark,

And quiet ideally.

So if that means getting an eye mask or earplugs or a fan,

I mean,

I use all three of those.

I'm like super high maintenance about my sleep.

Me too.

Yes.

I remember this from years of friendship.

We take sleep very seriously and we always have.

Yeah.

That stuff goes a really long way.

And then the way that we breathe when we sleep is really important too.

And I don't want to get on too long of a tangent on mouth taping because it could probably be its own episode,

But we want to breathe through our nose when we sleep for best oxygenation of our brain and the best chances of deep sleep.

A lot of us don't breathe through our nose very well because we've kind of evolved over time to change the shape of our palate.

And we've just gotten out of the habit.

So literally using like a tiny piece of tape to put pressure on your lips to keep them closed so your mouth doesn't fall open at night can encourage nasal breathing and like will transform your sleep if you've been breathing through your mouth.

Wow.

Yeah.

I need to try that.

I've heard you talk about it and I haven't dove in yet and I got to commit to that.

I'll give you some tape when I see you in a couple of weeks.

Oh,

Perfect.

Yeah.

So that's big.

And Kaylee too.

So we should fall asleep fairly easily and then correct me if I'm wrong.

It means staying asleep throughout the night,

Correct?

Yep.

Yep.

And there's a lot to troubleshooting that too.

I think it usually comes down to like hydration and minerals and blood sugar.

If our blood sugar drops while we're asleep,

Because maybe we didn't have a balanced dinner or maybe we ate dinner super early and it's been like six hours since we've eaten and we're fasted overnight,

Low blood sugar will increase cortisol.

So we get that like fight or flight hormone into our system and it'll pull us out of sleep.

So I love making like as part of my evening ritual,

Some kind of a beverage that's going to have some magnesium and maybe a little bit of tart cherry juice,

Which is a natural source of melatonin and a little bit of a snack,

Like some carbs,

Some fat together so that I can keep blood sugar nice and steady overnight.

So if you're finding yourself waking up throughout the night,

That's like one of the first things that I would try is a bedtime snack.

Hmm.

Yeah,

That sounds nice.

I think the solution to a lot of things in life are more rest and more sleep.

Amen.

Amen.

And everything you shared are simple and powerful tips.

Thank you,

Kaylee.

Yeah,

Of course.

So let's shift away from sleep.

And I really wanted to bring up today,

Mindful eating practices,

Because I've learned from you,

There is a lot we can do around mealtime to support our body in digestion.

Can you talk a bit about that?

Yeah,

I'm really glad you asked this because this is a really big deal if you're dealing with stress,

Which I know is a hundred percent of people listening to this.

When we're stressed,

Our digestive capabilities are decreased because we really have two modes for our nervous system.

We have fight and flight,

And then we have rest and digest.

We can't be in both at the same time.

So one of the best things we can do at mealtime to set us up for the best chances of digestion and the least chances of digestive symptoms,

I'll also add,

Is to step away from your workspace if you can.

I know a lot of us are working from home and workspace is also kitchen,

So the best we can there.

And take a few deep belly breaths,

Like breathing with your diaphragm.

You can literally put your hand on your belly and make sure we've got some movement there.

And just slow the body down.

Help shift to that rest and digest state so that we can actually make digestive juices.

We can actually break down food,

And we have a chance to actually be in touch with that meal.

Is it good?

Am I enjoying this?

Do I notice hunger and fullness cues?

If we're eating in front of a work report that we're working on and we're scarfing it down and not thinking about it,

Oftentimes we don't even remember that meal.

And then we'll deal with digestive symptoms through the rest of the day because digestion was just not ready and willing to receive that meal.

So the deep breathing is big.

And then chewing.

And it sounds so silly to even tell adults to chew their food,

But I kid you not,

That tip alone will solve 90% of the symptoms that our clients come in with as far as digestion goes,

Like chew your food.

Wow.

Yeah.

And when you pay attention to this,

You'll realize you've probably never really chewed.

It should be applesauce consistency before you swallow it.

And that's a really important part of digestion.

We're physically breaking it down.

We're getting digestive enzymes from our saliva working so that by the time it gets to the stomach,

It's not this huge workload for a system that may be already a little compromised with stress.

It's like literally life-changing and it slows you down too.

So you get a chance to be mindful about that meal.

Digestion starts in the mouth.

I've learned that from you.

Yes,

It does.

And we're not a 24 hour diner,

You know,

Like we can't just throw things down the hatch and expect things to happen.

It's like,

We've got to calm the nervous system,

Break it down and just slow down.

And what I love about this,

Kaylee,

And why I wanted to bring it up today is that these practices help our bodies digest better,

But also help us be more present throughout our days.

Yeah.

I think that's what it all comes down to.

It is.

Yep.

I've started doing some,

Some deep breathing and meditation before eating this past year when I can,

Of course.

And it's definitely been a game changer.

Yeah,

I believe it.

So getting away from the more science-y part of self-care,

I want to end today by talking about the moon.

I know this is less scientific,

But it is fascinating and something you and I are both really passionate about.

And it really highlights how connected we are to our world.

So Kaylee,

How does the cycle of the moon affect women's bodies and periods?

Yes.

I'm so glad you put this question in here.

I think it is so cool.

So what we have noticed throughout the years and years is that a naturally cycling female tends to be synced up with phases of the moon.

It's not always perfect.

And if yours is not synced up,

I just want to make,

Be very clear.

That doesn't mean anything bad,

But I do think it's a really cool thing to pay attention to.

So in like the olden days,

We used to have what were called red moon cycles and white moon cycles.

And those were like the two main classifications of ways that we could be synced up with the moon.

And the moon cycles are exactly the same number of days that the female menstrual cycle is on average,

Which is by no coincidence,

I'm sure.

And the most common cycle form was called the white moon cycle.

And that meant that you ovulated at the full moon and had your bleed on the new moon in the dark.

So ovulated in the light theoretically,

So that it was easier to find your mate at that time under the light of the moon.

And then you bled during the new moon when it was dark.

Now the women that are synced up with the moon in that way are typically thought of as like the mothers.

And that doesn't always mean that your focus is on like actually mothering a child,

But it could also be that you're working on bringing something new to the world,

Like birthing something,

A project,

A service,

An offering,

Or an actual human being.

So a lot of our clients that are shifting to focusing on building a family will notice their cycles shift to the moon like that.

And it's most closely matching the phases of the moon when you're a light moon cycler.

Now the opposite where you have your period during the full moon and you're ovulating during the new moon was called the red moon cycle.

And this was historically the women that were the helpers,

Healers,

Priestesses,

Or maybe even witches,

Depending on where you're reading about this.

And they were the ones that were typically there to help the other women because their cycles were offset.

So they could be there to help the other women while they were bleeding.

And they tend to be more focused on putting energy out.

So instead of bringing energy in birthing something,

They're putting energy out and they are expanding consciousness,

Teaching people,

Their ideas really big on just like leveling up the community around them,

Which is really cool.

And if you've never looked at where you are in relation to the moon,

I would really recommend you do that because you'll probably find that you are matched up one way or the other.

And this does change over time,

Which is really crazy.

Mind's changing right now,

Which is nuts.

Kelly,

Thank you.

I love it so much.

And I actually wanted to bring up that it can change throughout a woman's life based on what we're going through.

Yeah.

And this stuff like blows my mind all the time.

And I always do like a little question box about this every full moon on my Instagram.

And it is astounding the amount of people that this matches with their life priorities.

And then they'll notice that it's shifting when like they've changed focus,

Or maybe they need to go through a season of bringing energy back in.

Like we've been hustling and going and putting energy out,

And now we need to slow down a little bit.

It's really,

Really fascinating.

And I think just feels like magic.

And like you mentioned,

A connection to our world,

Which is always cool to bring it back to that.

Yeah.

Our bodies are truly magic and hold so much wisdom.

If only we'd slow down enough to listen.

Yes.

So Kaylee,

Thank you so much for being here today and sharing your passion and your knowledge with us.

Do you have any final self-care tips or tools you'd like to share?

Sure.

So it's been a pleasure talking about this.

And I think,

You know,

Your,

Your first step on any journey in self-care or correcting hormone imbalances is to like slow down and get in touch with yourself.

And if that means looking up the phases of the moon,

So we can see if our cycle matches up or if you've never paid attention to where you are in your cycle,

Learning how to track that and have that awareness,

Or maybe it's slowing down at mealtime and like checking in with how am I enjoying this meal?

Is it fueling me?

Does it nourish me?

Am I hungry or satisfied?

Literally just being curious.

And instead of moving through our day so quickly and ignoring or suppressing signs from our body,

Acknowledging those and being curious about them.

I encourage you to start listening to your body.

Our bodies are intelligent and are always communicating with us,

But we have to be willing to slow down and listen.

Prioritizing self-care is one of the most loving and supportive things you can do for yourself.

Self-care is the bridge between mind,

Body,

And spirit.

And as Diane von Furstenberg says,

The most important relationship you have in life is the one with yourself.