26. Family Matters: 3 Tools To Grow Relationships With Loved Ones

So yes,

This holiday season,

Especially it's been a difficult year for many of us.

Take the time to really say how you feel,

To make sure they understand it,

Even own things that maybe you wish you had said more of or done more of.

I can tell you from experience that you will be very appreciative of having gone back,

Prepared,

Spoken about things,

You might still disagree about something that happened 5-10 years ago,

But having spoken about it,

It definitely makes it less weighty on you.

Ask questions,

Just be curious.

I noticed this happened,

Is there something I need to know?

Do you have feelings about something?

Let's talk about it.

If you approach somebody in that way with really a desire to know and to understand where they're coming from because you love them,

You'll be able to probably get where you need to go.

It might take a few conversations,

Especially if you're not comfortable.

And by the way,

The conversation can sound like that.

I'm really uncomfortable.

I'm not sure how to say what I need to say,

But I just want to open this dialogue with you.

Welcome to Spiritually Hungry Podcast episode 26.

Wow,

26 already.

And we are happy to join you for our first holiday season with our podcast.

Yes.

And because we know that people are also on vacation and our studio team also is going to be on vacation,

We're going to have two truncated spiritually hungry episodes over the next two weeks so that we do not leave you in the lurch for these two weeks,

But also letting you relax.

But they'll be tremendously powerful.

Yes,

Even more so.

So as we said,

We're in the holiday season and for most,

It's a time where we reflect on the light of the time,

Of sharing,

Of giving,

Of feeling good.

But I think for many of us,

It's also a time that can bring up anger and resentment,

Even sadness.

Well,

Especially people,

Less so this year,

But more during this time of year,

People are spending more time with their family.

If that could be even possible after COVID.

Yes,

But even if they're not with extended family,

They're still with maybe perhaps the same family members.

So again,

They can feel frustrated,

Overwhelmed,

Different things can come up.

So we want to give you some tools to help you not just get through the holiday season,

But elevate and be inspired and transform and walk away with not just physical gifts,

But more importantly,

Spiritual gifts.

So I like this quote by Mystic Ram Dass.

He says,

If you think you're enlightened,

Spend a week with your family.

And as we said,

Family can bring up a lot of opportunities for us to grow,

Which means that we're often very triggered because family members,

Spouses,

Friendships,

The relationships that are closest to us often are mirrors.

And ultimately it is an opportunity for us to see things in ourselves,

But we need to approach the season with this understanding.

And I've just thought about some examples that we might experience.

Maybe we have an uncle that's always vocalizing his hateful view of the world,

Or perhaps a parent whose passive aggressiveness seems to be getting less and less passive,

Or the sibling that judges every one of your life choices.

Does it sound familiar?

You're not going to answer.

That's okay,

Michael.

I'm talking to our listeners.

So I'm sure it sounds familiar to many because it is a universal issue.

We all experience difficulty with family and kabbalistically we explain why that they are in our movie to show us the thing that we especially need to outgrow perhaps.

Right.

I think there's two parts to it,

Which I think we're going to talk about.

One is my own internal work,

My own internal acceptance if it's necessary.

And on the other hand,

Sometimes difficult conversations,

Sometimes necessary conversations,

We're always have to be changing ourselves,

But also if there's an opportunity,

Certainly in our close relationships to bring about some sort of positive change,

It's our responsibility as well.

Right.

And I think that's what I want to bring up,

How we can use this time to practice spiritual confrontation.

Interesting.

I know many people don't like the word confrontation.

I prefer actually communication.

I think it just depends on how you deliver it and- And interestingly by nature,

You enjoy those conversations.

By nature,

I do not enjoy those conversations.

Because I don't see them as confrontation.

I see them as opportunities.

I think it's very important to advocate for yourself.

And I think it's also important to be able to ask questions from a place of curiosity and also speak from a place of authenticity.

And to be clear- So for all of those reasons,

I do like having difficult conversations.

I think that they're necessary.

And from what I have learned through life,

They are the things that help me get to a new understanding,

Not only of myself,

But of also the relationships I want to bring along with me.

And sometimes they grow and sometimes they wane and that's fine either way.

The ones I want to bring are the ones I want to leave behind.

Absolutely.

So we want to transmute the energy we spend outside of ourselves into an awareness that is directed inward.

I think some questions we can ask in these situations are the following.

When faced with a hard or painful family member or situation,

How are you responding?

Right?

So this is what you just brought up to your point.

There are times where you first have to look internally.

Because by the way,

Unless you're also developing and growing yourself,

You're not going to be in the right place to have those confrontations or conversations that are necessary.

Absolutely.

You can go absolutely the wrong way,

Even if in your mind you're doing the thing that you should be doing now because you've always hold your tongue your whole life and now you're going to really speak your mind.

I think that's a very important point because even having the right conversation in the wrong state of mind is not going to leave.

Or in the wrong place or wrong time.

You have to take into so many considerations,

So many different factors.

And also if you're really eager,

Right,

Trigger happy,

I have to have this conversation with this person right now,

The truth is you better wait.

Not only how are you responding,

But what are you doing and more importantly,

What are you saying?

So the first tool or concept that I wanted to touch upon is this idea of Leshan'arah,

Evil speech.

We've spoken about it before.

I love talking about it.

Because it happens all the time,

Unfortunately.

It does.

And I finally have.

.

.

And just to be clear to our listeners,

I'm sure many of them know,

But we're talking about when a person speaks negatively about either somebody else or something else in front of a friend,

Right?

Or about you to somebody else.

It could also be even negative self-talk.

I mean,

It's all of the above,

Right?

So it's seeing,

Speaking,

Judging somebody in an unfavorable way,

And then spreading that information most often to other people.

And I like speaking about it because I don't think people realize how dangerous it is.

For themselves.

For themselves.

And I don't think the people that are listening and maybe not participating in the conversation,

They think,

Well,

I didn't really say anything,

I just stood there.

But bottom line is if you weren't standing there,

The person wouldn't have said it in that moment and certainly not to you,

Right?

And you always say,

Why did they feel comfortable to say it?

To you.

Exactly.

And I know that I've been on the receiving end of that.

I really go to great efforts and strides to not participate in that,

But it is like a cancer.

Once it starts to grow,

It's like little seeds of doubt that's injected into somebody about somebody else.

And from that space,

It grows.

Even again,

About the cell.

So my first tip is in this holiday season,

If you end up next to Aunt Marjorie or Sarah or whatever,

And she starts complaining about the cousin or the one that wronged her or that,

You know,

Even about you,

How you came with not enough food or you didn't bring the right thing,

Whatever it is,

It's really an opportunity to take a step back and say,

Okay,

Why is this my movie and what are my options and how do I want to respond?

Right.

Right.

Because like you said,

Every time we have a negative encounter,

There's something for me to learn.

But at the same time,

There also we have a responsibility to see if maybe we can have a proactive conversation with our aunt or whoever it is to make sure that they,

Whatever ability I have to help them grow and change,

I have that responsibility.

I mean,

It's not enough just to,

Again,

Not say anything or kind of turn a blind eye.

I know that I've been more disappointed,

Not in the ones saying it,

Because I think I kind of expected the people that I've heard talk about me in the past.

It was never a shock really,

Because I've heard them maybe speak about other people.

It was really obvious that maybe they were a gossip.

And I believe that as we spoke about last week,

That people are pretty much capable of mostly anything.

But what bothered me were the ones that heard it and didn't really defend.

I think that if you love somebody or you believe in something or someone,

Then you have a responsibility to do something about it,

To stop more chaos,

Negativity from spreading and damaging.

Because lies,

Once they're out there,

They're out there.

It affects your character and some people will always think ill of you.

And I think that that's really not acceptable.

I would add to that,

It's that not only is it dangerous and damaging to spread lies or speak lies with somebody else that are negative,

It actually is also not good for the individual,

For you to even speak truths that are negative about somebody else.

And the idea is that,

And I think,

Again,

Whether you're talking for yourself or you're sharing this- I like that differentiation.

I don't think people think about it that way.

Yes,

It's very important,

Because people say,

Well,

It's a truth.

No,

Actually,

And this I think is the spiritual law that you have to be aware of.

And why do people need to know this truth,

Exactly?

Exactly.

That if you're a vessel for negativity,

Be it true or false,

You're a vessel for negativity.

Now that simply means that you are now less likely to draw blessings,

Light,

Good things into you.

It's that simple.

And then you don't understand why you feel lack,

Sadness,

Emptiness.

You're doing all the right things.

Let's say you do a lot of things that are positive,

But this one negative thing can actually cover up all of those positive things so that you don't have access to feeling them.

You don't have access to see the blessings,

Feel the blessings,

Experience them,

And you feel in this state of discomfort and disease.

Especially if you are not confronting when you either,

Again,

Hearing it or watching somebody speak.

Again,

It could be truth.

And again,

I think it's so important.

I think the truth is probably worse than the lies because I think most people,

Well,

I don't know,

But we'll try to refrain if they know something's a lie.

But if something's truth,

They feel much freer to share it.

But like you said,

Why do you need to share it?

And most importantly,

Think about yourself.

Do you really want to be a vessel of negativity?

And also,

Is that what you want to see in somebody?

Because what you look for is what you're going to find.

So if you want to constantly point out,

Look,

They did this thing.

So you're constantly training yourself just to see darkness or things in people that they maybe are not even comfortable with.

So I just think that's plain mean.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's probably the first,

I guess- I think that comes up.

I think that's why I thought of that one because I think when we're,

Especially around the holidays,

It's almost the most automatic thing that happens.

You haven't seen each other for a while or even if you have- Or you're Zoomed.

By the way,

In today's world,

Maybe you're Zooming with relatives during this time.

Or there's alcohol involved.

So maybe you're less inhibited and you're just saying things that maybe you would have refrained from before.

But this one thing,

It's hurtful,

It's mean to yourself and to others,

Especially if you love these people.

That's probably the saddest thing,

How many times we've seen people who,

I was going to say- That should have your back.

But actually do love somebody of whom they will still speak negative,

True or false.

Not sure why,

Maybe the energy that it creates,

Maybe it's just something to talk about.

But at the end of the day,

All those involved,

The speakers,

The listeners are becoming vessels for negativity and that simply means less capable to have light,

Blessings,

Goodness in their lives.

And I found honestly that negative talk eventually gets back to the person eventually.

So ask yourself before you're given this opportunity to say something that maybe you know you shouldn't,

Is it worth losing the relationship?

Because this chips away at that.

So what's your tool if it's- So interesting related to this,

Because I think it's really all around communication and it's something that maybe sounds simple,

But having experienced the physical loss of my mother this year,

One of the things Monica and I have spoken about between ourselves is have the opportunity to share with those who you love,

With those who have given you any type of good benefit,

It could be your parents,

It could be your siblings,

It could be your spouse,

Share how important they are to you.

And not just like,

Oh,

I love you and not just.

.

.

But actually say,

You know,

And we've done a few times in this podcast,

And I know I've done this in life and I know you've done this in life.

So you remember when I was 20 years ago when I was this and you were there and there are great lessons after the fact and you've shared many with your father,

For instance,

Who now is not really capable to receive from you your appreciation and thanks.

But so many of us still have so many people in our lives to whom we owe all kinds of debts and all kinds of appreciation and gratitude.

But either,

And I'm speaking for myself,

Sometimes you just feel,

Well,

They know it,

Why do I need to share it?

Or it's something that's a little bit uncomfortable to talk about it.

We withhold sometimes.

I mean,

If they upset us the day before or the week before,

Or maybe they're going through their own struggle and maybe they're not as there for you as they once were,

Whatever it is,

We often give ourselves excuses to behave in ways that the ego will be a little bit happy.

And I'm not going to tell them,

And they know I love them,

But I'm not feeling as if they're deserving of hearing that right now in this moment for whatever reason.

And I know that sounds harsh,

But I think that that is the case very often.

That's interesting.

Well,

So I guess the second thing we're saying is make sure you'd use this time that you're a little bit less at work,

Maybe more with your family or even zooming with your family to really,

I really strongly take an evening if it's just you and your siblings and your parents or whatever that combination of family and or friends is and just share your gratitude with each other.

Who about something that happened this year,

But something happened 30 years ago?

You know what?

Another one that I hear a lot is that the family member will say,

Oh,

You know,

They're just too busy with their life right now.

I don't,

I don't really have a place,

You know,

They don't have a place for me,

So I'm just going to be,

I mean,

There's all kinds of tricks that you go does and it creates more space and more separation.

So yes,

This holiday season,

Especially it's been,

You know,

A difficult year for many of us.

Take the time to really say how you feel to make sure they understand it,

Even own the things that maybe you wish you had said more of or done more of.

You will never regret giving thanks and appreciation.

Giving more.

You will always regret.

You will always regret not having done enough.

Not having done enough.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And yeah,

I think it's so important,

Again,

Something that,

That maybe for some people sounds not so important.

It's really important.

It's important for you because voicing and sharing your appreciation actually connects you to light and connects you to goodness.

As we spoke before,

Speaking negatively actually diminishes your own light.

Speaking kindly and with appreciation to people who have given you so much.

Actually forget about any love and connection that it creates between you and your family or friends.

It actually connects you to light.

So I would strongly recommend for every single one of our listeners to take a night,

To take an hour with a family,

With your spouse,

With your siblings,

With your friends,

And literally be as.

.

.

Sometimes we feel a little too vulnerable when we're saying,

But I've had- I love vulnerability.

Yes.

But I've had so many times when I sort of questioned,

Should I share with this person how much they mean to me or should I share with this person?

Have you?

Yeah.

I don't know because not everybody is sort of emotionally always open,

But I say go full force.

Do you think it's really true that people aren't emotionally open to receiving love and sentiments of love?

I don't know about a lot of people.

I've had this situation where I could tell that the person was uncomfortable.

It didn't stop me at all.

I was very happy that I shared.

Are you happy drunk or what?

How much love are you giving?

No,

No,

No.

Because you don't do.

.

.

I mean,

I think you overwhelmingly show love to me,

But I don't see you running around.

No,

But I'll share with people that I care for,

That I love.

Well,

Certainly in our family,

I don't feel.

.

.

I have no restrictions there.

But with friends,

And every once in a while you sense that,

Oh,

They're a little bit uncomfortable.

Just because,

Not because they're not happy you said it,

But it's not their vocabulary usually.

But my point is that nobody ever takes it the wrong way.

Nobody ever takes it the wrong way.

But like I said,

I've had unfortunately or fortunately,

However you view it,

Many conversations with people who've lost a significant person in their lives.

And they just wish they had one more conversation.

And I bring this conversation up.

I say,

Did you take the time?

And often the answer is no.

And often I just wish they knew that,

And I wish they knew that,

And I wish they knew that how I saw them.

And I was just recently talking to a friend who had lost one of his parents,

And he was saying,

My father never knew how much appreciation I had for them.

Again,

This is a longer story to tell,

But it's so important.

It's so important for you.

It's important for them.

My family is big on birthday cards and any big milestone,

Occasion,

Happy occasions.

And we really write a whole thing about how much we love and appreciate.

And even though,

And we're also very,

I mean,

We're middle Eastern,

So it's not,

We are very I think expressive emotionally.

But I've looked back through,

I have a box of my favorite cards.

And I looked back actually not too long ago and I found a card my father had written me on my 18th birthday.

And I'm so happy that I saved it and that,

Because he can't write anymore to see his handwriting and he was very,

Very,

Very emotional person.

And anyway,

I don't think I was behaving so amazingly because I was turning 18 and we were fighting.

But he wrote something in the card and I even appreciate that he expressed it to me because I think it helped me even as a parent.

He said,

What do you think because you're 18,

You don't need me anymore.

And when I read it recently,

I got emotional as I am now because I still know that my dad knows how much I love him,

How much I've always loved him because we express it so often.

So my point is even finding a card like that where I wish I had never caused him any pain.

And so clearly in reading that card,

I was reminded of the ways that I have.

I also have a whole box of cards that he knows just how much I do love him and I've always appreciated him.

So I don't have any regret even though I can't,

It's not obvious how he receives it.

I still tell him I love him.

But again,

I have all of these memories and not just him with my sisters,

With my mom,

Because you're going to fight in families.

There's no question.

You're going to hurt each other.

You're going to bring each other pain.

Or if you make sure that you express love and appreciation more than that,

Right,

Through the years throughout your lifetime.

And even if you're only starting now and hearing this podcast and in this holiday season,

It's just so important to do because I don't have any regret.

And I love this quote.

I use it so often.

I'd rather the pain of discipline,

Which this is a discipline,

Right?

Do something that you're uncomfortable doing.

Perhaps you're not comfortable expressing yourself than the pain of regret.

When you're left and there's nothing to do about it.

Beautiful.

So what I would say is,

Again,

To every single one of our listeners,

If you don't do this at all,

Definitely step up.

Even if you do,

You'll never regret expressing to people who have done for you,

Whether simply they gave birth to you or supported you in any way,

How much they mean to you,

How much you love them,

And how much you appreciate them.

So I want to get to the next idea for me that I think- Okay.

We're running out of time.

No,

We said two tools each.

It's the holiday season.

These were gifts.

So I think that resentment comes up for a lot of people,

Especially in family dynamics.

So I just want to unpack that a little bit because there is a hidden gift of resentment because it can show you where you are in integrity.

It's one of my favorite words and where you aren't.

So being judgmental and resentful means that you're overly focused on the other person and where they aren't meeting your expectations.

And we know expectations are so dangerous.

They kill most romances and love because you can't even access it anymore.

You stop appreciating them for who they are,

Especially when you just expect them to give you,

Give you,

Give you.

But it could be in every relationship,

Right?

Your children,

Certainly we can get to a place where we don't have great experiences and even with other family members.

And upon hearing this word even,

I'm sure that you could recall bitter arguments,

Right?

When you hear resentment,

Right away your mind goes to,

Okay,

Well,

Who do I resent and what came up?

It could be a toxic relationship dynamic or the boss you had who never seemed to get it.

The chief characteristic of resentment is a feeling of powerlessness,

Which I love too,

Right?

Because when you feel powerless,

That's when you're like,

Oh,

That person,

Look what they did to me or they didn't do to me or how they saw me or they didn't see me.

It's either a person or a situation and it almost always takes up more of your mental energy than you'd like.

So the key word here though is that resentment is a persistent feeling of somebody who wronged you or insulted or some kind of injury in a way.

And it builds over time because it's every repressed emotion.

So when you didn't say something like you wanted to,

Right?

That's like what we said earlier and then you have the wrong conversation at the wrong time.

Or when you wanted to speak up and you didn't,

Every time you felt your feelings were not valid.

And it often is masqueraded as anger or frustration or sadness.

But really this is what is at the core of it.

So I think that when we realize that it's up to us to have conversations we need to have,

That we need to say what we need to say,

How we feel,

What we think,

Of course with thoughtfulness,

Then you can never put the blame outside of yourself.

I don't believe in blame anyway.

But instead you're now taking responsibility for your experiences with people.

So you're not powerless.

You're very powerful because now if you feel that your boss is doing X,

Y,

And Z or your partner doesn't show up and give in ways,

The way to flip this,

The number one tool is to ask yourself in those moments,

Where am I not giving?

So a simple example,

And I don't want to trivialize this,

But let's say that your partner says,

What do you want for your birthday?

I mean,

I've had one of our kids is like this actually,

Or even like I want to do something for your party or dinner or something.

No,

I don't want anything.

And then of course,

When the birthday rolls around,

They're disappointed,

They're sad,

They're depressed.

Why didn't you celebrate my birthday?

Well,

I asked you and you didn't want to,

Right?

So it's your responsibility to actually express what it is you want.

You can't look at your spouse or anybody else saying,

I have to do all the heavy lifting when they offer and you don't actually take the offering.

And it could be in any single scenario.

So the way to get out of this is in those moments where you're looking at how this person is the cause of X,

Y,

And Z,

Stop and ask yourself,

Where are you exhibiting the same behavior or where are you not participating in changing it?

Interesting.

But because the point that I wrote down again,

We don't speak about it,

We talk about the topics.

Well,

Yeah,

I was saying have those difficult conversations,

Right?

Because you're talking about how the individual handles the resentment,

How do they deal with it?

But I think at times,

And I mentioned this before,

That one of the great blessings with my mother is that she really made sure we had all the difficult conversations.

We spoke about everything.

But by the way,

That was a big transformation on her part because she did not like to have confrontation,

Especially with people she loved the most.

Right.

I mean,

That was the hardest for her.

She rather,

You know,

But towards the end of her life,

She really,

She went all in and she wanted to have those conversations again and again until it was repaired.

And therefore,

I think the other side,

Like you said,

I think it's very important what you said about how the individual needs to deal with their sense of resentment towards anybody.

But I do think it's also important to really look through the important relationships you with,

You know,

Parents,

You know,

Family,

Certainly partners and spouses,

And go back and have those kind of,

There's something still sitting on your heart.

You'd rather talk about it than not address it,

Especially with the people you love,

Especially the people you care for.

And I think where we get tricked here is that we feel because resentment is connected to feeling powerless,

We feel powerful when we're like,

Oh,

You know,

I'm going to blame that person or I'm angry at them.

There's an energy there.

But that is completely backwards and it's such an illusion to really let go of this and to actually be powerful and to not be a victim in any situation because victims blame,

Right,

Is to be able to say,

OK,

I don't know why this is happening,

But let's talk about it or ask questions.

I always say,

You know,

And that's really the art of communication.

Ask questions.

Just be curious.

I noticed this happened.

Is there something I need to know?

Do you have feelings about something?

Let's talk about it.

If you approach somebody in that way with really a desire to know and to understand where they're coming from because you love them,

You'll be able to probably get where you need to go.

It might take a few conversations,

Especially if you're not comfortable.

And by the way,

The conversation can sound like that.

I'm really uncomfortable.

I'm not sure how to say what I need to say,

But I just want to open this dialogue with you.

Absolutely.

And like you said,

I think it's you talking about things that are happening now.

You could also say,

You know,

When I was a kid,

This happened and this is how you dealt with it.

Maybe whatever the situation is,

You know,

10 years ago,

This happened.

And all I can say,

Again,

You have to do it from a thoughtful place.

You have to do it from a place of not being reactive or angry because the chances of a conversation really developing in a positive way are limited in those situations.

But I can tell you from experience that you will be very appreciative of having gone back,

Repaired,

Spoken about things.

You might still disagree about something that happened five to 10 years ago,

But having spoken about it,

It definitely makes it less weighty on you.

So again,

Integrity looks like taking responsibility for everything you say,

You feel and you do.

So then it's a real commitment actually to make yourself,

To yourself to speak up and to share what it is that you feel.

So when you notice your feelings of resentment arising,

These are a few things you can ask yourself that I think will help you get there very quickly.

The first is,

Are you honoring and communicating your feelings?

Right?

So now we're back into the space of you and therefore there's no blame to be had anywhere else.

You need to acknowledge the true feelings,

Right?

If you feel scared,

Angry,

Sad,

The key is to have a proactive conversation about it.

So that was the first thing.

The second is,

Are you taking responsibility for your part in the conflict?

Right?

So let's say you were here earlier with a birthday.

If there's an argument about anything and you have these expectations that you probably never verbalized or expressed,

Are you now able to look at yourself and say,

Okay,

Well,

When this came up,

I probably could have done it this way and maybe the outcome would have been different.

And the third,

Which I think is really powerful is where can you offer forgiveness?

So when we're hurt,

It's easy to see things in black and white.

And of course,

When we're in that space of hurt or pain,

We never see it that way.

We think we see the whole picture and I see everything and I'm right and I'm justified in my feelings.

And if we could realize that the other person rarely,

If ever,

Meant to hurt us.

And if they did,

They probably came from some space of lack that they're in that we're not privy to.

So the point here is that to be able to offer forgiveness,

You need to bring in some kind of empathy.

What might they be going through?

What could be another narrative?

What is the benefit of the doubt?

Again,

Where is your part?

Because the whole way to get past resentment is to find your integrity,

Which is to own all of you and how you express that into the world.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

I think these are three very important.

.

.

One,

Two,

Three.

One,

Two,

Three.

Three ways for hopefully all of our.

.

.

That's a cheery mistake.

No,

Our listeners to make sure that this time of year,

We know spiritually every situation has a purpose and it's not just,

And it's great to be relaxing during this holiday season and to just enjoy our family and friends.

Beautiful.

But also there's an opportunity for spiritual growth.

And I think as we said,

Addressing negative speech in family,

Friends situations,

Making sure that we're having active appreciation conversations with those who we love and are close to us and having a difficult confrontation.

And like you said,

Living with our own integrity,

Which means in taking being more proactive in the moments that we feel resentment,

Because the more we can do for ourselves to remove resentment either through conversation or through internal work,

The more beautiful,

I was going to say beautiful,

But powerful our conversation,

Our relationships become with those who we care about.

And something happens on a spiritual level I've noticed is that when you're able to do that,

When things come up that would have upset you before,

Again,

When you're practicing things,

I almost see them now,

Like I'm watching a film,

It's kind of entertaining.

And there's a role for me in it.

And I'm able to be an observer,

Be non-emotional about it or less emotional about it.

And then from that space,

You certainly can be proactive and choose something else.

So I don't know,

I always get a little smile even in the dramas,

Because that's what it is after all.

It's one big movie.

Happy,

Happy holidays.

And enjoy this very important time with family and friends.

And use it well.

Yes.

Don't forget to keep going to Apple Podcasts,

Spotify,

Wherever you can rate and share this podcast so that more and more people can access this podcast.

Keep sending in your stories,

Questions,

And everything to monicaandmichaelatcabala.

Com.

We will try to share as many stories,

Answer as many questions throughout the rest of the podcast.

And let's all make this unique special time,

One that is more filled with light,

Appreciation,

And love than we had before.

Bye.