Listening To The Soul’s Call: Align With Your Inner Values

Welcome,

Welcome to today's live podcast.

The wild becoming podcast live here with community on this beautiful day.

We are going to be tapping into values of the heart.

So we're just going to take a moment to ground into the space arrive here.

We're listening.

Hi,

Claire.

Let me know where you're tuning in from.

Feel free to say hello.

Feel free to put comments,

Questions,

Thoughts,

Things that come up as we start this discussion.

Claire is tuning in from England.

Nice to see you,

Claire.

Thank you for joining us from England today.

So lovely to have you.

And so this idea of values,

We have values.

And what does it have to do with our heart?

Our heart is like this source of truth,

This source of mystery,

This source of energy.

So central to our whole system in pumping blood all over our bodies,

But also very central to our energy system.

And so as we talk about values of the heart,

Maybe start thinking about how your own personal values relate to your emotions,

The energy that moves through your body.

As we start to think about what do I value?

What do I stand for?

What is the guiding light within me?

And our values are very tied to who am I?

Our values are very tied to who we are.

And they can also be associated with the different hats that we wear in life.

They can also be associated with who we're becoming.

But they're less associated with outcomes in the sense that a value is not an outcome.

A value is not even necessarily what society told me I needed to be.

Or I felt that I needed to be in order to be loved.

So we're going to practice non-attachment when we think about our values.

We don't want to attach them to anything.

We kind of want to think about them as they are tied to who am I?

And who am I is really our essence,

Our spirit,

Our birthright,

Who we were born to be.

And as you know,

There's different parts of us too,

Right?

We're shaped by the various parts of ourselves,

Who we had to become,

The different hats that we had to wear,

The different parts.

And as I said,

There may be,

You know,

An association down the line with certain outcomes or an association with the values that we hold in our heart in terms of the hats that we wear.

An example would be like a value,

I value wisdom.

And so one of the hats that I wear is as an epidemiologist.

But the value itself can stand alone in our heart.

And sometimes we can have like a love-hate relationship with our values,

Typically because of attachment,

What we're attaching our value to.

Or the story we're creating around a value in our mind.

Or conflicted with what society is telling us it needs to be and it needs to look like.

Conflicted with other people around us pushing their definition of what it means.

And so when we think about values,

We also cultivate and we want to think about this acceptance of who we are and the different parts of ourselves that have shaped our life.

There's this recognition of who I am and the values that I hold in my heart,

My truth.

And who you are and the values you hold in your heart as your truth.

And so you may value discovery.

You may value love.

You may value peace or purpose or consciousness.

You may value balance or community or family or friendship.

Welcome.

I just joined.

This is my first time.

Nice to see you.

Let me know where you're tuning in from.

Feel free to drop your insights in the chat.

Say hello.

You may value passion or beauty or respect or freedom or truth.

From California.

Nice to see you.

And so we want to spend time in our lives connecting to what are these values of my heart because it can be so easy in our lifetime to be pulled in every direction.

We turn on the TV and we see commercials of things,

You know,

Drawing us inwards.

Look at this.

Look at this.

Look at this.

Our attention is pulled in so many different directions that it can be so easy to forget Who am I and what do I actually value?

Maybe none of these things that I'm seeing are aligned with my values.

And yet I'm bombarded with them.

And so there's this influence on us day to day.

And the influence can either be positive or negative or neutral.

And we want to align with influences that are going to allow us to align with the values of our own heart.

And it doesn't mean that we have to share the exact same values with the people in our lives because there's actually something to be said about the mixing of values.

Sometimes people come into our lives to remind us of the values of our heart.

Maybe we've forgotten about them.

And they shift and change over time.

Maybe there's new values that we want to explore as part of who we're becoming.

But I think the important thing is that we don't lose ourselves in terms of who we are,

No matter if some of the values are similar or different.

When we're coming into alignment with our values,

Some of the positive influences in our lives might actually be the people in our lives who maybe don't have the same values but are the most authentic.

Even though their values are different,

They are still authentic.

So they're still teaching us how to be aligned.

There's still an honoring of this authentic part of self versus maybe some of the negative influences in our lives is relationships where we lose ourselves.

This can be relationship that we have to workplaces,

Relationship that we have in romantic relationships and partnerships,

And friendships.

And attachment.

Attachment to these ideas or stories that we tell ourselves about who we need to be and what our values need to be in order for us to be considered successful,

In order for us to be considered good in society,

In order for us to be liked,

Admired,

Loved.

And what people are imposing on us,

Or what we're allowing to be imposed upon us,

That is telling us what our reality needs to look like,

What we need to feel,

What we need to be aligned with.

It's actually like a form of gaslighting.

And we allow ourselves to be gaslit sometimes by our culture,

By our workplace,

By friendships or romantic partnerships.

We gaslight ourselves.

We have deep inner values that we may not like because of the story or the attachment that we've created around it.

But it's still part of our inner truth.

It's still something that's deeply part of ourselves,

Whether we're rejecting it or not.

And when I say stories,

I mean things like society says family needs to be important.

And some of you may truly value family.

That is part of your truth.

And I think to some extent,

If you were to look at a list of values,

You'd probably be like,

I value all of these things.

But we do have an inner hierarchy in terms of what is most important to us.

And sometimes we suppress that,

The truth of that,

Because of the way that we are shamed or guilted for putting something else first.

Maybe we put something like success before love and we think that's selfish.

So we kind of gaslight ourselves.

I don't want to be selfish.

So I'm not going to align with my value of success.

However,

Depending on how you define success,

Maybe love is part of that in some way.

Having loving relationships brings some source of success to your life,

As an example.

And there are these systems of oppression that continue to kind of have us suppress these deeper values within ourselves.

And I truly believe that diversity in our values and how we value this within our inner hierarchy,

There's actually a purpose to this.

And there would be a beautiful flow,

And there is a beautiful flow within society when we allow people to show up just as who they are,

Just as who they were created to be.

Because it brings this beautiful diversity to a greater whole where we're all able to kind of contribute in different ways without needing each other to be something.

Sometimes we have this need to like,

You need to be this so I can be this.

But in actuality,

I need to be aligned with my values.

And this actually teaches you to be aligned with yours.

It gives you that permission in a way,

That invitation if you need it.

But the truth is we don't need it.

We can align at any time.

The challenge is our values are deeply connected to who we are.

And fear can play a big factor.

So maybe we have a fear of being seen.

And this can be deep rooted.

There are some people who show up to community in the way that I'm showing up to community with all of you.

And deep down inside,

They have a deep fear of being seen.

And so that might be a start to overcoming that fear,

Speaking,

Public speaking,

Or other types of exposure.

But it's interesting because actually fear is what tends to stop us.

We may value love,

But have a deep fear of abandonment,

Or a deep fear of rejection.

So even when we have loving relationships in our lives,

Or we're trying to give ourselves that self love,

We're still kind of running from it in a way.

Because either we fear that we're going to abandon ourselves because we have in the past,

Or we fear being abandoned by someone that we love and care about.

So we kind of stuff that value down.

And sometimes we even tell stories around it,

We justify it,

We say,

If we don't see the outcomes in our environment,

Or we're not filling our own cup in that way,

We might say I don't care about that.

I don't really care about love.

I'm not really interested in romance.

And that could be because we don't have that in our lives.

And it makes us sad.

There's a vibe around it.

There's a feeling around it.

But what if the vibe and the feeling was actually telling us something about our inner values and what we might want to align more with?

Because feelings,

Vibes,

Emotions,

They're information too.

They tell us things about what's happening inside of ourselves so that we can act.

The energy is pointing us in a particular direction or telling us that this is what's up for you right now.

We can also fear success,

We may have a value around success,

And we might fear success or fear failure or fear abundance.

We may fear being alone.

And so we say I don't want a family or I do really want a family.

Our default kind of changes based on who we are and the experiences that we've had in our lives over time that kind of convince us of certain things.

In the chat,

How to overcome fear of being seen by others.

I think that one of the most valuable ways is through exposure.

If you're afraid of being seen,

Act in the opposite direction of your fear,

Gently.

Slowly expose yourself to opportunities where you will be seen in safe environments.

In environments that make you feel safe,

That make you feel an openness.

And so exposure really is the way to our values,

The way to our heart.

But sometimes we don't want to see our values because we've been hurt.

Sometimes we don't want to expose ourselves because if the fear is already there,

It's very likely that we had some sort of experience in the past that we did not like.

And so what that can actually do to us is it can begin to kind of close our heart and create this inner conflict inside of ourselves where we have these values.

Sometimes we hate that we have them.

Hello from Morocco.

Nice to see you.

We can hate that we have these values inside of ourselves because of the stories that are created because we don't know what this means for our life.

Sometimes we can also even create illusions.

Illusions of the mind to protect ourselves from either seeing these values clearly and owning them as part of who we are,

From shifting and changing them if they're no longer part of who we're becoming.

And even just maybe the shame we have for where,

For how important they are to us.

And so it all comes back to this relationship that we have to self.

And hi,

Andrea.

Hello from New Zealand.

Welcome,

Welcome.

This relationship that we have to ourselves is the most important relationship.

Because you cannot fill from an empty cup.

And in order to feel your own wholeness,

Which is always there,

We have to be able to give ourselves our own values.

And then this opens us up to opportunities where we may be able to cultivate some of these values with others in our lives,

Have shared experiences around these values.

But if we are completely closed off to them or we can't really see them fully because of avoidance,

Because of trauma,

Because we're feeling kind of separate from self,

Disembodied,

We kind of feel like we're in multiple places at once.

Our minds over here,

Our spirit is down here.

Our body is here,

Maybe feeling ungrounded.

But it's within the self,

Within the heart,

That the seeds of abundance are planted.

And others in the chat can relate to that kind of feeling like not all in one place.

And seeds of abundance,

I mean,

Your values,

Your intentions,

Your desires.

They're planted deep within yourself.

And then because we're connected to a source,

A divine source,

We're connected to nature,

We can water those seeds.

And then the fruit of that seed becomes ever giving,

Abundant.

Because it's of a quality and not an outcome.

The outcomes are what we get to experience as we live the quality,

As we live our values.

And we can cultivate this stronger sense of self without becoming inflated.

We don't want to become so inflated that we're not connecting with anyone around us.

Because that's what makes life beautiful,

That transcendent,

That transcending peace to have the shared experience.

A shared experience of love,

A shared experience of purpose,

Freedom.

Right now,

We're in a shared experience of community.

And so what stops us from that?

Sometimes it's leaning too far into our primal selves.

We can become chameleons where whoever we're with,

We kind of just blend to their values because we don't want to be fully seen.

We have a fear.

I'm afraid that you will leave if I tell you who I really am.

Or I'm afraid for you to see me because I'm afraid of rejection.

I'm afraid if you see me fully,

You're going to reject me somehow.

And our primal selves have a place.

Our primal selves create state safety and stability and just like any other animal in the wilds.

And then we have relational being.

This is represented by the energy in our sacral region,

Our energy of creativity.

Through our creative living,

Through our creative being,

We share things with one another.

Things become relational,

They become shared.

Our values become shared.

Shared in the sense that I can share a value that I have that maybe you don't,

That's lower down on the totem pole for you.

And then maybe you're like,

Wow,

That's really cool.

I'm into it.

There's something about it that draws me in that I like.

I want to explore this more in my own life.

I want to explore this more with self.

I want to go on a little adventure with myself,

With my soul and explore beauty.

Or maybe you and another person value truth.

And so you share these wise truth,

Stories of truth with one another that just holds so much for you.

So much for your journey on your spiritual path.

Or maybe family.

You share this value of family with someone,

Whether that be a soul family kind of vibe or family that you live with,

That you live and breathe with.

And maybe you kind of help one another cultivate that a little bit more deeply because you've had that shared experience.

But I think the point of it is,

Is that it doesn't have to be you have to be the same as me for me to see you or vice versa.

It just is.

It just gets to be.

And we want to live within this freedom where we get to be who we came to be.

That's what life is all about.

It's a birthright.

You were born into the world to share your values.

And it doesn't have to be perfect.

I think we tie our values to these crazy outcomes.

An example might be,

You know,

Me even showing up as a teacher.

If I held myself to unrealistic standards to be perfect all the time,

I would start becoming unwell.

Because even though I'm touching on my value,

I'm tying it too tightly to an outcome.

There's still too much attachment there.

And the heart wants to be free.

The heart is,

The heart is about truth moment to moment.

And aligning that with an absolute truth,

A greater truth.

And so we want to build our values into our lives in a way that has a greater level of endurance.

Endurance meaning that over the course of our life,

We're going to be walking the path and discovering different aspects of these values,

Different aspects of the truth of who we are.

And so we don't want to be tying ourselves to all these different outcomes,

Because I think it kind of takes away the discovery and the mystery and the beauty of it all.

But it also can be very energetically draining.

You may have noticed that when you have a strong attachment with something,

Your mind is over here.

And it can drain all of your energy.

Just because you're thinking,

You become,

You can become obsessive,

Right?

You can ruminate on a particular outcome.

It has to be this way.

And the more control,

The more we're directing our energy and our willpower into that attachment.

And the thing is,

As we know,

It may not work out that way.

And then we've gone down the rabbit hole of the attachment,

Instead of realigning ourselves with the discovery of the truth of the value that we hold inside of ourselves,

That we are not only experiencing in the world,

But that we are gifting the world.

Each and every one of us gives value in the world just by being who we are,

Just by our own system of values,

Our own hierarchy of values.

And we get to have higher levels of thinking and use our willpower and direct it towards right action in alignment with our values,

In alignment with our needs,

And then in alignment with our thoughts and our energy.

We want the stories and the thoughts and the energy,

We want there to be beautiful alignment there,

Because what actually creates this friction inside is when our energy is going in a different direction.

Our heart and our mind are going in different directions.

Alignment is same direction.

We're going in the right direction in alignment with who we are.

Pathways towards living our values.

And some thoughts create pathways away from our values.

Some energy within ourselves,

Some emotion,

Like fear.

We may have a value around truth,

And then fear inside of us causes us to create an illusion so that we don't see truth.

And then there starts to be conflict.

Or love.

We may have a deep value around love.

I want to feel love in my lifetime might be the outcome.

But again,

It's not the value per se.

It's just associated with desires that we have.

It's like a spiral.

The value creates and creates and creates and creates.

It's like the fertile ground for which we plant the seeds,

The desires aligned with the values.

And then yet we can block them.

We can block them with fear.

We can block them with illusion.

We can block them with attachment.

And sometimes,

Like I said,

People can come into our lives and it can kind of create like a chaos.

Sometimes a drama,

An unnecessary drama,

Because I think there's a big difference between drama and chaos.

But sometimes a beautiful chaos in a way to say,

Hey,

You have this value too.

I see that.

I see that in you.

So why are you acting this way?

Like I can tell that you really value this by the way that this connection is going.

And yet you act like you don't.

So how can we come into deeper alignment?

I think it's really about building it into your life,

Creating space for it.

Fighting against the resistance,

Lifting the heavy weight because it's worth it for you.

Sometimes there's a lot of resistance,

I don't know if anyone has noticed this,

But a lot of resistance to just being your authentic self,

Whether it be in a family even.

You're discovering more of who you are as you grow.

And maybe in your own family or your own group of friends,

Sometimes it's like you're acting different.

I don't know who this new person is.

And you're like,

But this is me.

I just did a lot of healing work and I've discovered me.

Because usually our healing is the work to walk with the fear,

To expose ourselves in a way that we're no longer afraid in the ways that we used to be.

And so as you become more and more of who you are,

You can actually kind of feel resistance or you can feel pushback,

Whether that be from people who knew you from before or even self-resistance,

Like this feels really awkward to actually show up as me.

To actually be silly and funny and wise all at the same time.

To really and truly be me.

Or maybe you've put on this tough girl or guy persona because the people around you did the same thing.

The environments that you exposed yourself,

There's this tough,

I have to be tough persona.

But deep down inside,

You're actually highly emotional.

And when you show that side of yourself,

Other people are like,

Wow,

This person really shines.

This person really is beautiful.

Why don't they show up like this more often?

And then also it kind of has an interesting effect because healing will allow you to show up more as you.

But showing up more as you is also healing.

And will allow you to create that space to live your values.

And then there are some practical things too.

So you can align certain types of experiences in your day to day to practice your values,

To live your values.

And I would say allow yourself to feel in to moments that are both big and small.

Because a deep moment that's even just a moment can have a longer lasting impact than something that lasted hours.

It might be so aligned with who you are and that deeper part of yourself,

That value,

That you will never forget that single moment.

And it could be something simple.

It could have been seeing snow falling from the sky,

That sense of wonder,

That sense of beauty that it sparked within you.

You'll never forget it.

Or watching that flower bloom.

Or seeing love between a mother and child that you cross paths with.

Whatever your values are,

There are opportunities everywhere for you to experience them.

Can you see the blessings that are all around you?

Or are you too busy with the stories that you don't have it yet?

Are you too busy with needing it to look a certain way?

Somebody says,

My breath is a blessing.

Yes,

Thank you.

Can you see the blessings all around you?

Can you see the moments in which you are already living your values?

Because this is really linked to our core beliefs,

The things that we tell ourselves.

If deep down inside we believe I am not worthy of love or I am not loved,

It's going to be very hard for us to see the opportunities of love and the blessings of love that we value so much that are already there for us.

We're going to discount them.

Sometimes we even destroy relationships because we have this idea of what it needs to be or what it needs to look like.

Or we see somebody living the value that we care about so much in a particular way.

And so we self-sabotage that relationship in some cases.

Or we could sabotage relationships because we feel that our values are not aligned anymore.

I don't know who you are,

You don't know who I am.

So I'm just going to throw this relationship to the side.

And then we realize the sadness of that there is only one of you.

And in workplaces it can also feel like it's very easy to be replaced because jobs,

Titles,

Hats,

Different hats that we wear,

Sure they can be replaced.

I can buy a new hat.

They make so many of the same kind.

I can buy a different color if I want.

But when it comes to people,

People cannot be replaced.

And that's why we feel so much grief sometimes when we have loss in our life.

Whether that's the loss of a relationship,

Loss of a person,

Life.

We feel grief because there is only one of you.

There is only one of you who operates in this way.

The beauty of your soul,

The essence of your soul.

We can try,

We can try to replace one another,

But it's a bit of an illusion.

And that's what makes it beautiful.

The flower that blooms in your garden will only be in that season,

Will only bloom once.

And the same is true for the human.

And so where can we honor that within ourselves?

Where can we take that and use it as motivation to live our life in a way that values the values inside of us by discovering what they are?

And I'd encourage you,

Discover what they are.

You can discover what they are by putting a hand to your heart and just breathing in and asking your heart,

What do I value?

Experience it.

You can also cognitively look up lists of values and just check off some of the ones that are really important to you.

You might need a refresher.

Go online,

Say,

Give me a list of values.

Give me 200 values.

And then just check off the ones that are most important to you and see how you can.

I think even just by knowing what they are,

You're going to start to align yourself with things in your day to day,

But you can also make a point to do it.

If family is really important to you,

Schedule time in to be with family.

If romance is really important to you,

Pick a day to go on a romantic date.

If purpose discovery,

Consciousness,

Spirituality is really important to you,

Schedule time every morning or a couple times a week to really tap into these spaces within yourself.

But I think the important thing is,

Is that we stop waiting for someone else to deliver this to us because the person that awakens it within you may not be the person that's going to deliver it to you fully.

How can we cultivate it within ourselves so that we can attract more opportunities that align with it?

But we have to get the alignment within.

If our insides are all crisscrossed and zigzagged,

Then we're going to be attracting all kinds of things.

Zigzagged and crisscrossed,

And we get tied up real quick that way.

Then we find ourselves bound.

But when the alignment is aligned from within,

It's easier to kind of see the opportunities in our environment that we've attracted.

It's easy to see the blessings.

A lot of people will say,

Amanda,

Your life seems so beautiful.

Your life seems full of wonder and synchronicity and magic.

How?

Wonder and beauty and magic is one of my values,

And I'm aligned with it from the inside.

Within myself,

The relationship that I have with myself in a healthy way.

And so sometimes I can see the blessings.

I can see it in my environment.

It doesn't mean it's perfect.

I've attracted some interesting things spiritually,

Some things that didn't turn out to be magical in the end.

But I learned a lot.

And it's what makes life worth living,

This adventure of discovery,

Discovering your values.

What is the adventure of my life?

I have this value inside of me.

What will it grow to become?

Who will I grow to become?

By aligning with something that is deep within my heart and my soul.

So we're going to take the last 10 minutes to do just that.

Spending some time in here in community today with ourselves,

With one another,

An experience of both self-actualization and transcendence in community.

So I'm going to invite you to either close your eyes or keep them open if that feels more safe for you.

Feeling safe is what allows the transcendence to take place.

It needs to be a balance with our primal selves and our more evolved self or the part of self that thrives more than survives.

And so feeling the connection here today with one another,

Maybe envisioning within your mind's eye us all connected through a circle,

Sitting in a space with one another,

Connected to the earth and just feeling this sense of safety,

Feeling this essence of transcendence that holds you in the space and maybe rooting down through the base of your feet,

The base of your spine to the earth.

So you feel grounded and supported by the earth,

Seeing that there are multiple layers for being held in space.

And now I want you to travel inwards.

So placing your hands on your heart,

You can also place one on your heart and one on your womb space or your willpower,

Which is your belly button region,

And start to go inwards.

Not losing the connection between where you were held,

But bringing your awareness inside of you,

Feeling the warmth or the chill on your skin,

On the surface,

And then feeling the essence of what is on the other side of that,

Your skin,

Your skin barrier,

What is inside,

What are the layers,

The layers of protection around your heart,

Which also serve a purpose.

But telling yourself,

I am safe to explore my own heart,

Telling yourself,

I've got you And just allowing yourself to go deeper into your own essence,

Your own heart,

Your own body.

Who am I?

And what do I value?

And just breathing the life force energy of nature through your body and allowing yourself to hold that question.

And if some thoughts or answers or more questions come,

See if you can witness them without attaching,

What do I value?

And how might I want to cultivate that more and more?

Bring it out,

Share it with the world.

I am safe to share who I am.

I am safe to share what I value.

This is my life.

And I want to relate to people in the beauty of life.

So just taking a deep breath in,

Allowing that to settle.

You know,

Sometimes when we're coming into ourselves,

We're like,

You know,

The crazy party girl knocking everything off the walls.

Dancing so hard that we're just knocking everything over.

You know,

And maybe there's a lot of emotion and a lot of things that are still need some healing,

Need some space created so that you can shine through more fully.

Allow yourself the space to do that.

Invite yourself to take that step.

We don't need to burn the place down while we're coming into our authenticity.

We also don't need to hide.

You are safe to be seen.

You are safe to be your authentic self.

You are safe to live your values.

You are safe to discover what your values are and you're safe to change.

You're safe to allow them to change and to be truthful and honest with yourself if they are changing.

You're safe to let certain values go if they no longer align with you.

It gets to be what you want it to be.

It gets to be what you desire,

What your heart desires,

The truth of your heart,

The truth of who you are.

You don't need to lose yourself in that relationship.

And you know,

Maybe for a time you did.

Maybe you were still finding yourself.

And maybe that person was a safe space for you.

But this is your home.

You are your home.

Come home to yourself,

To who you are,

To your values.

And let that shine out in the world.

Because the world needs you,

As you,

Living your values.

And it won't be without challenge,

I'm sure.

It won't be without people coming in and out of your life because they don't understand.

It's all part of life.

And the more you can be who you are,

I think the less regret and resentment you will live with because you know that you are showing up fully.

And the more grateful you will be for the life that you're living day to day.

But also when that transition comes one day,

There's no particular way you need to live it except aligned with the truth of your own heart.

Can never be regret for that.

We'll take that in.

Thank you so much.

All 88 of you beautiful souls,

Thank you for joining me today.

Thank you for being here and showing up for yourself.

Feel free to connect with me.

You can support this podcast.

You know how to do that.

You can click on my picture,

Stay connected,

Send me a message,

Say hi.

Let me know how you're doing.

Let me know how this landed for you.

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You know,

Let's stay connected in different ways.

Thank you so much.

Sharon says thank you.

Ezra says thank you.

Paulo,

A magnificent talk.

I'm very glad I tuned into this.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Have the most beautiful,

Beautiful day,

Everyone.

Take care.

Sandy says that was deep.

Bye everybody.

Love you all so much.