Hi,
Let me tell you a secret.
To find yourself is to forget yourself.
Identity is an illusion,
Which generates fear of spontaneity.
In other words,
Identity is an abstract construct that we hold on to in order to get a more prehensible sense of self.
But the more we define our concept of self over time,
The more elements we have to hang on to in order to preserve the whole structure,
And it can get uncomfortably heavy.
Since we're born,
People constantly try to tell us who and what we are.
How many times have we been told,
It is not like you to do something like this?
Or have we been stressing out about an important decision?
Maybe thinking,
How am I going to tell people that I want to do this?
For example,
How am I going to tell my parents that I want to quit business school and become an artist instead?
As if the most puzzling aspect of the situation was to make some sort of compromise between your own ambitions and people's expectations toward you.
Deep down,
It leads us to grow convinced that there is stuff that we simply cannot do.
That,
For example,
Becoming an artist is good for others,
Some special people with a particular background,
But not for you.
Because it would be hard to adjust it to your existing storyline.
It might not match the constructed image of ourselves that we built over time,
Based on what we've been told we were,
And that we feel entitled to,
As if we had some sort of obligation to remain the same.
The longer we're attached to what we consider our identity,
The more rigid it gets.
So the more uncomfortable we get when we consider trying something new that we think is unusual to our own lives.
It is inadequate and dangerous to think that everything can be and should be classified.
The human mind in existence itself cannot submit to any rigid predetermined logic that is in itself a creation of our minds,
But we tend to forget that detail.
We start at a very young age to adopt labels,
And we legitimate them after,
By confirming our own beliefs as they serve our sense of identity.
But it simultaneously limits our opportunities and reinforces our rigid perception of ourselves.
Nothing is fixed,
Neither are you.
Everything is moving in constant change.
This is why we hear stuff like,
What do you think you become,
Which almost sounds dark,
But it really only means that we are creating our identity through our perception.
We put labels on ourselves,
And we end up stumbling on them in the long run,
Because cherishing a self-image is walking on thin ice.
We make choices based on an arbitrary and relative concept,
Which means that there is no room for spontaneity in a self-image based life,
Since every single action is picked carefully in order to stick to the imaginary script,
Or in other words,
To tighten the bars of our prison.
Maybe there's something that you're scared to do,
Something you might always have wanted to do,
But never dared,
Because you might think you're too old,
Too weak,
Too serious,
Too busy,
Too young,
Too inexperienced for it.
It might not feel safe to follow what feels right.
You are not allowing yourself.
You stick to some script that is made up.
So by the phrase,
To find yourself is to forget yourself.
I mean that letting go of who you think you are is the only way to really exist.
Only then you can find yourself,
Precisely because you've stopped searching.
People constantly try to tell you what you are,
But you are none of it,
Because you are far beyond words like everything else.
You are an experience.
Dissolve yourself into the moment,
The action.
You are already it.
It is so tiring to be serious,
In a constant state of resistance and fear.
By resisting,
You're limiting yourself.
You're going against the grain of life.
This is why Zen refers to the world we know as the void.
This doesn't mean that existence is meaningless and empty.
On the contrary,
It means that existence as we perceive it is an illusion,
And we are free to step out from it,
From the moment we realize that it only exists in our minds.
The illusion is the conceptual world,
World of labels,
Where you have a name,
A gender,
A title,
And the arbitrary meanings that they carry.
Deconstructing these labels and seeing beyond them makes you realize that you are none of it.
You are nothing in particular,
Which also means you are everything.
You are what you feel,
Moment after moment after moment.
You are irreducible.
Words can't contain your essence.
Words and ideas are essentially tools,
Labels that we use to help us communicate.
It is purely practical.
The problem is when we get mixed up between the tool and the reality it points at.
It is when we forget the real object behind the representation,
And the tool is taken seriously,
As if there was nothing more to it,
Nothing more to see.
When we don't know anymore how to use the tool,
It is the tool that uses us.
We anxiously grasp to abstractions and symbolic values,
And we trust in them,
For they seem somehow more tangible than real life and its endless mysteries.
But the more we hang on to illusions,
The more we get anxious and desperate,
Since we are chasing nothing but shadows.
Concepts can contain reality.
They are supposed to be at its service.
They can help us see what cannot be seen,
Only if we are willing to let the image go and keep only the essence.
A concept is stuck in time and space.
A word has no shades.
Labels are like a net,
And the essence of things is like water.
It can't be held into them.
It slips away.
Embrace your own mystery.
Acceptance is the only way.
Open up to what you feel,
What you see.
Don't try.
Just be.
In order to breathe,
You must let go of the air in your lungs,
So you can fill them up again.
If you don't let go,
If you hang on to the air in your lungs because you're convinced that you have to keep the air inside to survive,
You won't make it.
You have to trust so things can go their way.
Wanting to control everything is ego-driven.
It gives a false sense of knowledge and power over every aspect of our lives.
And this is where it gets messed up.
Thank you.
Take care of yourself.
