Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

Okay,

In this episode,

We are going to talk about imposter syndrome.

Who the hell do you think you are?

I can't tell you how many times earlier on in my teaching career,

Not that it still doesn't happen on occasion,

But where I would get ready to teach and think,

Who the hell am I to be doing this?

They're going to see right through me.

How much enlightenment can there be in this little body?

So I want to go over how to work through some of this imposter syndrome,

But first I want to talk about the five kinds of imposter syndrome.

According to a writer,

Dr.

Valerie Young,

I really like her structure and system for this.

So I'm going to walk you through those.

And then just a few insights on how to work through imposter syndrome,

Maybe as an entrepreneur,

As a teacher,

Guide,

Mentor of some kind,

Or just wanting to make an impact in the world.

When we go to do that,

That means we have to be seen in some way,

Shape,

Or form.

And being seen can be pretty scary and triggering.

So do we hide?

Do we barrel through it?

Or is there another way?

All right.

So the five types of imposter syndrome,

According to Dr.

Valerie Young,

I like this.

The first one is the perfectionist and the voice of the perfectionist might say,

If it's not perfect,

I'm a failure.

If it's not perfect,

Then the whole thing is a failure,

Which means I'm a failure.

So the perfectionist.

The second is the expert.

And the expert says to itself,

To himself,

Herself,

I just don't know enough.

I don't know enough to be doing this.

I don't have a triple PhD.

I can't teach.

I'm not ready.

I don't know enough.

The third one is the soloist,

Which is I have to do everything myself.

Okay.

If I get any support,

If I get any help from anybody,

That just means I'm not good enough to be doing this.

That's the soloist.

And then the natural genius,

As she calls it,

I like this one.

If I struggle,

I must not be talented.

If I struggle,

Then I'm not talented enough because everyone else who's in this world doing their thing,

It seems so easy.

I'm the one who struggles.

And so I must not be good enough for this.

That's the natural genius,

As she calls it.

And then the superhuman,

I have to do it all and never fail.

I have to do it all and never fail.

The superhuman.

Now you might be thinking,

Well,

I'm all of these.

At any given moment,

I could be two,

Three,

Or four of them.

Sure,

We all oscillate.

And the insecurity,

Which is what imposter syndrome is,

The insecurity of it shines out in different ways.

Sometimes we're comparing ourselves to others.

Other times we're worrying about perceived judgments.

What do my parents think,

Or my friends,

Or the general public?

Other times we're judging ourselves.

And as we master ourselves in life,

Which you have to be mastering your being,

Your spirit,

And your character,

You have to be waking up,

As they say,

And growing up.

As you do that,

You have to work through these insecurities.

And it's not a switch.

I think a lot of people think it's a switch in some way,

Shape,

Or form.

They're worried about being seen,

About failing,

About imperfections.

It's called being human.

If you had no imposter syndrome at all,

Right out of the gate,

I would be much more concerned.

And I would be thinking,

Is this person a psychopath or something?

So we should probably all have some fear around failure,

Being imperfect,

And being an imposter.

It's okay.

Now,

As we go along the path,

So say for example,

You're a content creator or a teacher,

Right?

Even if you're afraid,

If you move forward and teach,

If you get on stage,

If you hit record,

If you write a blog,

If you meet one-on-one with somebody,

Whatever it is,

Every time you do it in the face of fear and insecurity,

There's a muscle in you that gets stronger.

The imposter syndrome voice doesn't go away,

But it might recede into the background.

And over time,

Your skills,

The repetition of the practice in your skills become more powerful than the pull of the insecurity.

I'll say that again.

The repetition of the practice and the skills that you develop become bigger than that imposter syndrome insecurity voice.

It starts to overpower it over time.

It's just like stage fright.

A lot of people are afraid of public speaking.

It's not a switch that you're afraid,

Then you're not afraid.

No.

It might take a thousand times in front of an audience until you gain more experience and practice where the fear shrinks.

It might never fully go away,

But it'll shrink.

It'll recede into the background.

So a couple of things.

If your imposter syndrome is not receding,

My first question to you would be,

Are you really putting yourself out there over and over again?

And if you are and nothing is changing,

If you truly feel like nothing is shifting,

Then you should work with somebody.

You know,

Maybe you need certain mechanics to help you that you don't understand or know.

Okay.

There might be some deep seated pain there and fear that needs attention.

Maybe you do need to step back from doing the work until you feel ready.

And it is possible that you're not ready,

Right?

If you have 10 minutes of experience meditating and you want to be a teacher because it's cool,

I want to be cool like David,

Even though we both know I'm not cool at all.

Maybe somebody else is a better example.

Sarah Blondin or Tara Brock,

Jag Cornfield.

I want to be a cool meditation spiritual teacher like them.

And I have 10 minutes of experience,

Then the imposter syndrome might be justified.

And that's feedback that,

Hey,

I need to go get more training and experience and then get out there in the world and gain feedback.

Oh,

And the world will give you feedback.

You know,

When I teach on Insight Timer,

Some of my tracks will have thousands of comments,

Thousands.

And I'm not bragging.

I would get terrified in the beginning when I would see the comments.

And even if there was one that was mildly critical out of hundreds,

It would be,

It would feel debilitating.

I'm like,

Oh no,

Someone doesn't like me,

I did a bad job and I would shrink.

That was in the beginning.

Does that happen anymore?

Not so much.

If someone writes something really rough,

Then,

You know,

I'm human.

Of course,

I would not enjoy that,

Right?

I would go eat gummy bears and chocolate chip cookies and then when I was done crying,

I would come back and record something else.

Not quite.

So we all have imposter syndrome.

Some of it is justified because you don't have enough experience.

Some of it is not.

It's the world that tries to convince you that you're not good enough.

But overall,

You just need to put in the hours,

The time and the energy of being seen by the people you're afraid of being seen by over and over and let the repetition of the skill become so masterful,

So masterful that that imposter syndrome recedes.

So just as an example,

You know,

Like Michael Jordan hitting a jump shot.

How many jump shots did he hit before he won the NBA championship with a buzzer beater jump shot?

Thousands upon thousands upon thousands,

Right?

He missed thousands as well.

But even if he was nervous,

Which I think he actually might not have been,

The repetition is the repetition that saves you in those moments.

It's the muscle memory,

Even the muscle memory of just speaking as a teacher and knowing your content,

If that's what you're doing or helping somebody through something,

Right?

You do that over and over and over,

Even when you're not sure where to go,

When you've walked that path a thousand times,

There's an intuition and a skill set that comes in that goes beyond your conscious egoic mind that says,

Can I do this?

So can you do this yet?

Yes.

Can you do this?

Yes,

You can.

Are you ready?

That is up to you.

Okay?

So don't let imposter syndrome paralyze you from finding success and happiness and making a difference in the world.

It's mostly an invitation to grow.

You are not an imposter.

You are a real human being that has something to offer the world.

So get out there and do it when you feel ready.

Thanks for being here with me.

As always,

I'm going to go eat some cookies and yeah,

Anyway,

See you next time.