Trust: The Ultimate Lifestyle Upgrade

Hey.

Hello.

Hi,

Everyone.

Welcome to the third episode.

Yeah.

And I just wanted to say very quickly hello to everybody that's subscribed.

We've actually had a couple of subscribers already.

Right.

And quite a few people have seen the video as well.

So I just must.

Hello.

Hi,

Everybody.

And thank you for listening.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Today's topic is trust.

So we've been talking a lot about alignment,

Right?

How to live in alignment with your authentic self,

How to live aligned with like your purpose.

And a big,

Well,

Almost like ingredient to it,

Right?

A big element for that is actually trust.

Trusting the path you're on,

Trusting for your path to unfold in the best way.

And for me,

That ties into basically trust can really elevate your experience.

Why is that?

Because whatever we expect to happen generally,

Whatever beliefs we carry is what the world is going to reflect back to us is what we're going to experience.

So if we trust in the best outcome for something,

If we trust that we're on the right path,

You know,

That is what the world is going to eventually reflect back to us.

So for me,

Trust is actually is almost like a lifestyle upgrade.

A lifestyle upgrade.

I love it.

An upgrade.

We can all do an upgrade.

In so many levels,

A lifestyle upgrade.

I like that.

Last week you came up with the breadcrumbs,

You know,

With the emotions.

This week is a lifestyle upgrade.

I love it.

I like it.

Do you know,

As you're talking,

Like what would,

What would cause someone to mistrust?

What would be,

You know,

The opposite of trust?

So,

You know,

So someone that doesn't have trust,

You would,

Words are kind of coming in.

I'll say what was coming to my mind,

Right?

Yeah,

Yeah,

Go ahead.

See if it's,

See if it resonates or if you've got anything coming to you,

Right?

So the things like uncertainty that you mentioned,

Betrayal,

I guess mistrust is a word.

I guess that's two or three big words really for me.

Uncertainty.

Uncertainty is a big thing,

Right?

It's kind of the opposite of trust,

Isn't it?

It is.

Yeah.

I want to dig deeper on that one,

Because I like,

I really like what you said.

And I think that's absolutely true.

Like betrayal,

For example.

But where's it,

Or like distrust,

Mistrust,

But where's it actually coming from,

Right?

So we can dig one level deeper.

Yeah.

And that's generally from past experiences,

What we've learned,

Quote unquote.

And that can be from this life,

You know,

Can be experiences from this life.

But very often,

It's actually also from past life experiences,

Where we had certain situations.

And we made decisions in those situations that,

Oh,

You know,

If we can't trust that situation anymore,

We can't trust people like that,

You know,

Stuff like that.

And then those patterns are basically in our energy.

And we basically,

When you have situations where that comes up,

Distrust,

Mistrust,

Feeling betrayed,

Stuff like that,

It's a very,

Very good indicator for you that there's something there for you to heal.

So anything really that is stopping you from trusting in any way,

Shape or form,

I would take as an indicator that there is something is like a hurt part of you that would like to be healed.

Before we came on air,

Right,

We were both talking,

It was kind of a personal chat,

The two of us.

Yeah.

Actually,

The topic of trust came up,

Right?

Yeah,

Yeah.

And how if we're out alignment with that trust,

We're giving away our power.

Yeah.

So there is that kind of ah,

There's that kind of thing where trust and power,

They're both kind of almost intertwined in a way.

You know,

If you have your trust,

You have your certainty,

You have your power.

Yeah.

You know,

If there's trust,

There's no trust,

There's no certainty,

There's no power.

Yeah.

No power,

Then how can you,

How can you do anything as well?

Then the victimhood mentality that they can come along with that,

You know,

It's like that kind of constant,

Oh,

Why does this always happen to me?

You know,

That kind of feeling,

Oh,

This keeps happening,

That's giving away your power,

Instead of going,

Oh,

Well,

I'm trusting that this is happening for you,

For my highest good,

For the greater good of me.

Yeah.

And then,

You know,

So actually,

I have two things to say to this.

Go on,

Right,

Go on.

Yes.

And then also,

So this is happening for my highest good,

Right?

But then you need to take it one step further,

Otherwise,

It's not going to go away,

Necessarily.

Right.

Oh,

You,

You then ask,

Okay,

What is there for me to learn?

What is there for me to overcome?

How do I want to move forward from here,

You take it one step further.

So the trust is kind of like the surrender is like,

Okay,

I trust this is happening for a reason.

And that reason is in my highest good.

And then it's like,

There's something for me to overcome,

To learn to grow from,

What is there for me to overcome,

Grow and learn from what is there for me to do?

Like,

Right?

How would the highest version of myself respond to that?

What would stop someone having that?

What would,

What would prevent someone from,

From having that change?

Would it be something along the lines of being unaware or,

Or just accepting or almost accepting,

Like that there is that is their life,

For example,

You know,

That things always happen to them,

Quote,

Unquote,

Would that be?

I think it always comes down to self awareness.

And if you're willing to look at yourself,

Honestly.

And,

You know,

Everybody who's listening to this,

You have the awareness now,

Because you just got it in case you didn't have it before,

We just gave it to you,

Right?

So,

And those awarenesses,

You know,

Sometimes it comes for other people,

Sometimes we just have our own realizations,

It doesn't matter.

It's about being honest with yourself,

Loving with yourself.

And it's a choice to step out of victim mentality,

Right?

It's a choice.

In every situation,

You make a choice.

You know,

Do I just want to keep suffering through this?

Or do I just want to be like,

Oh,

This is so unfair.

Why does this keep happening to me?

And then you repeat the whole the same cycle over and over.

But do you make a choice to step out of it?

By questioning why is this happening to me?

How can I change this?

So last week,

You mentioned integrity,

Right?

And that's,

That's one of the kind of key that seems to kind of come back to this kind of,

It's quite a key,

It's quite a key component,

Really,

Of our reality,

Is our integrity.

And what kind of integrity we have with ourselves.

So we don't have self integrity,

Our own self,

We talked last week about self respect,

There being respect,

So there's no respect of yourself.

There can be no trust,

Right?

And then we're giving,

If there's no trust,

Then we're giving away our power.

So if we're not,

You know,

And then I guess it comes back to that living in alignment aspect as well.

If we're living out of alignment of any sort of aspect of our,

Of our,

Of our beings,

Whether it be like our,

Our own physical integrity or resource,

Resource integrity,

I.

E.

Constantly spending money all the time,

When we don't have the resources to actually spend,

That's giving away a power in a sense.

That's,

That's,

That's,

You know,

What comes to me is that it's almost like,

So for example,

Overspending,

If you actually don't have the resources,

Or it wouldn't be like,

You know,

Responsible in a way to do it.

So it's,

For me,

It's those patterns,

It's like you're trying to cover something up and consciously,

Or it's like you're trying to make yourself feel better,

You know,

Stuff like that.

That could be driven by patterns like that.

Yeah.

Sorry,

I forgot.

I'll come back.

But what I actually did want to say,

What you said earlier about you giving your power away,

If you distrust,

If you feel betrayed,

If you choose to stay in a victim mentality,

And I wanted to go a little bit deeper on that,

Because I think that's actually very interesting.

So yes,

First of all,

If you feel into it,

You can totally feel your power is going away.

If you're like,

Oh,

I'm being a victim of that,

You feel weaker,

Right?

Yeah.

It feels weaker,

You can test it.

Physically,

Mentally,

Emotionally.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

It's just,

Whoo,

Energy just leaves the body,

Right?

Leakage,

Leakages.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And there,

But I think we can also explain it,

Rather than be like,

Oh,

It's just energy going away.

Because actually,

What are you doing?

When you are not trusting somebody,

When you feel betrayed,

You're trying to protect yourself,

You're putting energy in something that could be used for something else,

Right?

So you kind of,

You're putting those barriers up,

Right?

It's like energetic barriers,

But also like,

Oh,

You know,

You're kind of,

You're constantly on a watch out that you don't get screwed over,

That you're not being betrayed.

You're constantly,

If you're a person who is in victim mode a lot,

You might be like walking on eggshells a lot around people.

That takes a lot of energy.

And that energy,

You know,

So basically,

If you choose to move into trust,

And choose to believe,

Because again,

Your beliefs create your reality,

Right?

If you choose to believe that these things and how people treat you is on some level in your highest good,

Because there's something for you to overcome,

Something for you to learn,

Something for you to grow stronger from and gain experience.

That takes you out of the victim mode immediately,

Immediately,

You have more energy,

Because you're not constantly on alert and watch out that you have to protect yourself.

But instead,

You're taking your power back.

And now you're like,

Kind of sovereign again,

You're like,

Okay,

If that's the case,

What can I do about it?

How do I choose to move forward from here?

What is there for me to learn?

You know,

You can just ask yourself all those questions and just see what comes up.

And then you can make a conscious decision,

For example,

That you're not going to react or act out of your victim mentality out of the hurt self,

Out of the you that needs to protect yourself against the mean world or whatever,

You know,

I'm drawing it like very,

Very good picture,

Right.

And,

But rather,

You choose to react out of,

Okay,

I don't want to react like that.

I don't want to feel that I'm I choose to just,

For example,

Stand above it,

I choose that this doesn't affect me,

How would I react?

How would I act in a situation if I would choose that this doesn't affect me?

And that's how you make a decision.

And that's how you move through it and out of it.

That's how you break the cycle as well.

Do you know,

You were saying a word there,

I was actually,

There was a word coming up,

And it was coming to me,

And then you said it,

And you repeat it a couple of times.

All right,

Okay,

That's definitely we need to talk about this.

Protection.

Like,

That's maybe one that asked the question earlier about how does a person get lose trust?

In the first place,

It's quite a protective,

It's quite a protective kind of mode that we would go and go into.

So x has happened to you in the past.

And so you lose trust,

And maybe,

I don't know,

You could lose trust in relationship,

I guess,

I guess that's the most,

I think that's one that people can relate to the most is losing the trust in relationship,

You can lose trust in,

You know,

In,

I guess,

Relationships,

You can lose trust in a family sense,

Or relationship as in the romantic,

In the romantic sense.

And so if you've been at heart,

And in the relationship before,

Then that then almost like in a protective bubble comes over you.

It's obviously fear,

Right?

I mean,

If there's,

If there's no,

If there's no,

If there's no sense of trust,

Then you're living in a sense of fear.

Yeah,

You're trying to,

I think,

What do you mean with the protective bubble?

More like you kind of isolate yourself?

Is that what you mean?

You're kind of trying?

Yeah,

It's almost like you're scared in a way,

Scared in a way to love,

Scared in a way to,

To,

To be scared to be to,

To,

To repeat,

Repeat being hurt.

So if somebody Yeah,

Yeah,

If somebody feels that,

Yeah,

You feel that absolute heart and pain,

That disappointment,

That betrayal,

That,

You know,

You just,

You can't believe it's happened,

Or it just,

It feels like a kind of bolt out of the blue,

Right?

It feels this massive energy.

And the broken feel,

You feel there's a vulnerability with that,

As well.

There's a vulnerability that can come with that.

I know from my own past experiences that I've experienced that is,

You know,

Very much,

There's a sense of vulnerability.

And you end up,

Again,

From past experiences,

You end up doing things that are not really that are aligned with you.

Yeah,

And in line with yourself.

Yeah,

You end up doing,

You off the rails.

And for what,

For one of a better phrase,

Right?

Yeah,

You go off the rails a little bit,

Because then there's all that kind of,

You don't want to kind of experience,

Go through that heartache,

Ever again.

Really,

At the core of it,

You're trying to protect yourself from experiencing it.

Yeah,

You're trying to protect your heart,

Right?

You don't want to,

You've been in a relationship with someone,

You put yourself out there,

Right?

You put yourself out there,

You trust.

You get hurt.

Yeah,

You put the trust in,

You know,

The relationship and there's a bonding with someone,

It's an experience with someone.

And then it ends,

However it ends,

I mean,

Sometimes it can be,

I guess it can be a mutual agreement.

And then that's okay,

That's just not working for me,

It's not working for you.

Quite often,

What will generate that mistrust,

Though,

Is if one person is feeling that everything is happy,

You know,

This is a great relationship.

And then the other person is the complete opposite.

And then a parting happens in whatever way.

Yeah.

So I have a few things to say today.

Oh,

Lovely.

Generated,

Excellent.

Generated it.

Manifesting generator.

I'm going to respond to that.

You're going to respond,

Good,

Good,

Good.

Human design.

So I just want to put this out there.

So if one person is really happy in a relationship and the other person is not,

There is already a disconnect,

Like the relationship is based on a lie.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

So somebody is not being completely honest with themselves here.

And somebody is trying to uphold a lovely picture.

Because if you have a true connection,

You're going to notice if your partner is unhappy or if something is off.

I would pretty much bet on that.

All the time?

Does it happen all the time?

Maybe you don't notice immediately,

But it's going to come out some way or another.

Like,

You're gonna feel it,

Right?

That's the intuition part.

Yeah,

It is intuition.

It's also.

.

.

So I think,

I don't know,

Maybe it comes down to kind of upholding an illusion.

You know,

You think,

Oh,

This is working for me.

This is great.

You kind of know at a very deep,

Deep,

Deep level that something's not quite there.

But you choose to ignore it.

And you're like,

Nope,

This is working for me.

This is brilliant.

And then you get,

Of course,

Disappointed,

And you would feel hurt if that relationship then breaks apart.

But that,

I think,

Honestly,

And it comes back to taking responsibility for yourself.

I think that comes back to,

You've not been completely honest with yourself here.

I would really say that.

And,

You know,

Sometimes,

Even if you feel the relationship is not quite what it's supposed to be or what you would like,

And then it goes apart,

It still hurts,

Right?

And that brings me to the other point.

So what you've been describing,

The distrust,

So basically,

You've created a bond,

You had the relationship,

You've shared feelings and stuff,

And then it ends,

And you don't want to feel that pain anymore,

That emotion,

Right?

And then you create kind of the distrust,

And you're afraid to step into a new relationship again,

For example.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Different ways for people.

Oh,

You step into the wrong relationship.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Because you really want to avoid this.

Right?

Yeah.

So you don't want to go the love route.

So it's usually,

Well,

Lost is maybe the other thing that we kind of go for.

So basically,

What you're doing in that moment is you're creating a pattern of avoidance,

Because essentially,

All there is,

Is really the fear of feeling that feeling again.

Yeah.

That's all it is.

That's all it is.

Then we will create like a whole pattern around this,

Like,

I'm not gonna do this again,

Because this really hurt.

And then,

Yeah,

You might go into relationships that are not aligned for you.

Also,

You don't have to feel that feeling again.

Whereas if you,

And this is what we talked about last time,

Right?

If you would allow yourself to feel that feeling fully,

But don't take it personally,

Really take a step back,

Observe it,

And see if there is anything for you to learn if that feeling is has any information for you,

Like,

Why is it there and really allow yourself to feel it.

If fear is gonna go away,

Because you've processed the feeling,

Hmm,

You're not gonna have the fear to feel it again.

So essentially,

The fear is actually you being afraid of that feeling coming up again.

Because if you've processed through it in a healthy way,

You're not gonna carry the fear because you've kind of you've dealt with it,

You've grown from it.

And also,

While you allow yourself to process that feeling,

You can have lots of learnings and realizations and stuff is there's a lot of magic in allowing your feelings and really processing for them.

Does it then come back to,

Like in a child,

Does that then does that then come into why would someone would maybe avoid those those experiences?

Because as a child,

You'd maybe it would maybe be a case of you wouldn't have the security,

I guess,

Or the capacity,

The awareness,

The capacity,

The awareness,

It wouldn't feel safe to kind of process any sort of big emotions like that,

Because your your survival would,

Would absolutely depend on it because you would be the survival would be well,

Say,

For example,

Is is something is is between a child and a parent,

Which is quite often the case.

The child will be relying on the parent for survival.

And so if there's any trust and mistrust,

Or,

You know,

Mistrust with that,

Or any heart,

I guess,

Any,

Any heart arising arisen inside the child.

And that's been dismissed.

Yeah.

It gives the child and that kind of signal level is it's not okay to to feel like that.

It's not to,

It's not okay to have that experience.

And so there the survival mode then kicks in with okay,

Right.

So every time I feel I shut it down,

Like,

I just,

You know,

Just know,

You know,

Just shut it down.

And you just,

I just wonder,

There's a lot of things that come back to the inner child.

As I say,

Like a survival,

It's almost like a survival thing that we've been conditioned with.

And,

You know,

And I get it,

I get it.

It's,

It's,

It's there is designed.

The reason these things happen in the first place is designed for growth,

Right?

That's,

That's the those.

That's,

That's the greatest opportunity for wisdom.

I see.

And it's when we experience illness,

Or we experience some sort of loss,

I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's this,

Those,

There's always wisdom in emotion.

Aye.

Yeah,

There's always wisdom in that.

And you notice that when you have,

And it takes courage,

You know,

I'm not saying it's like,

Oh,

You're just processing your emotions.

I know it takes courage.

It took me a long,

Long time to have the courage to face my emotions.

Like a long time.

I started really healing myself and started this work when I was 35.

So I carried around all those patterns of fear and avoidance and kind of keeping stuff down,

The fear of that stuff coming up again.

I went through a lot of trauma when I was a child.

So I carried that in me for like,

Well,

Until I was 35.

Right.

And then I started,

Well,

It is actually my body was kind of like,

You can't walk around with this anymore.

I had depression,

I had burnout,

Like all sorts of stuff.

I couldn't work anymore.

It was really intense.

It was like a full breakdown.

And it forced me,

It kind of then happened naturally to a degree,

But it took a lot of courage,

But it forced me to look at those things.

And yeah,

I think you're absolutely right.

Like the reason why so many people have a fear of processing the emotions or not processing the emotions because they've been dismissed when they were a child.

Or like,

You know,

Like even in my day and age,

I heard people say,

Like to my son,

For example,

Like,

I mean,

We have 2025,

Right?

Right.

No,

2024,

Like last week,

Right?

People say,

Like,

Obviously older generations and stuff,

Oh,

Boys don't cry.

You know,

Like what does that in a child?

Like if you stop allowing yourself to cry and crying is such a good emotional release.

It's like,

It's a function of the body to help you release negative energy.

And then,

You know,

If you're at the right age and an adult says that to you and it sticks with you,

Well,

Guess what?

That boy might never cry in life again.

And it's like,

And then all this negative energy gets like piled up and it needs to escape somehow,

Right?

Like it's energetic hygiene.

You have to,

Like you don't run around with all the dirt and stuff and sweat.

You shower,

You clean yourself.

You have to do the same with your energy.

And you can do that by processing your emotions.

Feeling through them,

Just like,

Essentially just leaning into them and really feeling yourself through it.

And just see what comes up.

Just be curious about it.

Yeah,

It's funny,

I was saying to Ben last night,

Like,

No pain,

No gain,

No pain,

No gain.

That's what I said to him.

You said,

Oh my God,

Graham,

You can't create that conditioning for him.

You won't even have it in life?

No,

No,

No.

What I mean is no pain,

Like to feel the pain.

That's what I mean.

Okay,

Yeah.

I think it's a very important distinction because I'm very much against the saying no pain,

No gain.

I'm like,

No,

That's not true.

I mean,

In the sense of emotional pain,

Right?

We've kind of got to go through the emotional pain of,

Well,

Emotional pain of fear.

You've heard the phrase,

Like,

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Right?

You've got to feel that.

You've got to really,

Really got to go with that energy and go through it.

Because if you're experiencing pain,

Pain is usually an indication that something is off or something is being withheld.

It's also an indication that something needs to be healed.

And it's also an indication that something you need to kind of go through,

In order to come out the other side.

Like we were talking about the wisdom part.

We can only experience wisdom when there is pain.

That's the only time that we can experience true wisdom,

Really learn about ourselves,

Really learn about why we're here,

Really learn about our own personal experiences.

Is that pain,

If we're not paying attention to what's going on around about it,

As you said,

The body will start to,

The body will tell you,

The body will tell you.

I have something to say to pain,

Because I think it's a very misunderstood subject.

Go on then,

Go on.

The pain,

The actual pain only happens in that moment when something happens.

So for example,

If you stub your toe,

If you go through the breakup,

Like if the person says to you,

I don't want to,

This is when the pain happens.

The pain is only here for you to be experienced once.

If you choose to hold on to that pain,

That's your choice.

I know this is very easy to say,

And I know it's not so easy to do sometimes.

Yeah,

I've said that to Ben a couple of times,

Right?

He completely dismisses it.

It's your choice.

You're choosing to feel like that,

Or you're choosing to be like that.

It's not like,

So sometimes you're right.

You're absolutely right.

There is a choice.

We definitely have choices,

But it's been,

What keeps coming back to me is awareness.

It's being aware that we do have a choice.

Some people are unaware that they do have that choice.

And so that's why we get stuck in those repeating patterns all the time.

Because we unconsciously,

Not consciously,

Unconsciously,

We choose to repeat that emotion over and over and over again.

Yeah,

Exactly.

So it's to get back to the pain.

So you experience the pain in the moment,

But then after that,

So if you decide,

Oh,

I never want to experience that again,

You push it down and you don't deal with it,

Then what you're feeling is more like a fear to feel the pain again.

It's not even about the pain anymore.

You know what I mean?

It's the fear now you're trying to,

And the fear then determines so many things.

What's the fear of?

That's the question.

What's the fear of?

Is it separation?

Is it Well,

The pain is not in the feeling,

You know,

It's like it hurts.

Right.

It hurts.

And it's like,

So I'm going to share,

Basically,

So I went through like abuse in my childhood,

Right?

And thinking back about that,

It would hurt.

It would really,

Really hurt.

And,

But the thing is,

It actually only hurt when at a time when it happened.

Right.

Got you.

But then me holding on to it and not processing through this emotions.

And,

You know,

Of course,

It was a child,

Like They shut down.

So I put like,

I created patterns like for my survival,

Right?

So I wouldn't have to do it anymore.

Yeah.

And it shut down as well.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And so the only way to kind of escape the pain,

But not like not escape in terms of running away,

But like to really be free of it was for me to process through it is the only way.

And you're out of it.

It takes so much courage,

Like,

Especially if it's a very heavy topic,

If it's something that's affected you a lot.

It takes so much courage.

So did you think It's worth it.

Sorry,

I'm jumping in there.

I just wonder if you did that then create trust issues then for you?

And yeah,

1000%.

Yeah.

And I also I started to really noticing as well,

Like it would affect my parenting as well,

Because I didn't want my son to experience something like that.

I would like conscious was like,

Going into survival mode all the time,

Like scanning,

Oh,

Where's danger and stuff,

And,

You know,

And it just,

Yeah.

And then I noticed,

Like,

This,

This is all right,

Like,

This is too much,

Like,

I can't,

Can't live like that.

And I'm not doing my son a favor,

Either.

Like being in constant survival and helicopter mode and to like to stop him from experiencing the pain when it might not ever happen anyway.

So in a way,

In a way,

You're protecting your,

You feel that you're protecting your son.

But actually,

You're really protecting your,

Your own self,

Your own self,

From experiencing the same,

You don't want him to go through the same experiences that he went through.

You're really honest.

Yeah.

If you're really,

Really,

Really honest with yourself.

Yeah.

Of course,

You know,

I love him so much.

And I wouldn't want to go for something like that.

But the pattern in me is trying to protect me.

Yeah.

And that's the thing is that you because you do love him so much.

That's,

That's why the protective mode comes in.

And it's a kind of funny,

It's a funny.

There's a kind of funny thing,

I'll just call it a thing,

Because things fine,

Fine,

Things fine for the minute,

Where you're,

You're,

You're fearful,

But at the same time,

You also have,

You acknowledge inside you,

There's also that love inside you,

That is protecting,

Is an act of,

Is it?

I'll ask that question.

Is it an act of love?

Or is it an act of fear?

Or the protective thing?

It's an act of fear,

Because you are,

Well,

I speak from my experience.

So yeah,

It might be a kind of,

You know,

I wouldn't feel the same way,

I wouldn't have felt the same way for somebody I don't know,

Necessarily,

Like,

I wouldn't be on the lookout for protection.

So yes,

It's,

Of course,

Because I have the connection with my son.

And,

You know,

If I feel like in a way,

He's part of me,

I mean,

He's come from me,

Right?

He carries part of my DNA and stuff,

Like he's literally a part of me,

Right?

So yes,

Also,

I think that's biologically wired,

Because parents are biologically wired to protect their offspring,

Right?

Yes,

Yes,

Yes.

So there is that.

So that connection and the love would kind of create the the stage for it or the scenario that that would kick in.

It was still driven by my own fear,

By my unhealed patterns.

And just showing me and that was actually after I've done a lot of healing on that stuff,

Like,

I still notice it to be there.

And that's my experience with healing,

Actually,

Especially with like,

Heavy stuff,

Stuff that's doesn't even need to be heavy,

Stuff that's affecting you a lot.

You sometimes feel like you're going circles,

Like,

Oh,

I'm here again,

I'm here again.

But actually,

What it is,

It's a spiral,

And you're going upwards in a spiral,

And you look at it from a higher and higher and higher perspective,

Until you feel it completely.

And so it took a lot of events.

But and so you get those pointers,

Right?

Like that,

Observing that,

That I was like,

In this protective mode with my son,

I was like,

Oh,

There's still something there for me to heal.

Like,

This is not completely gone yet.

And I just chose over and over to heal and look at it.

And until I'd moved through it,

And honestly,

I'm so glad I did.

Like,

There's so much freedom and joy on the other side,

It's well worth it.

And that's the thing,

Isn't it?

The podcast is named Spirituality,

It's fun.

It may sound like a fun conversation.

But I guess that's the point is that it's funny thing with spirituality,

Right?

When people ask about spirituality,

The one thing that keeps coming back to me is,

It's just,

It's life.

Do you know,

Like,

I mean,

I guess the spirituality is in the sense of we can relate it to religion.

And in various different meditation practices,

And this,

That,

And the next thing.

But for me,

Spirituality is just life.

It's just,

It's just people say,

Are you a spiritual person?

There's no one on this planet that's not spiritual.

If you're a soul,

You're a spiritualist.

It's spiritual.

Ben refers to me,

Ben refers to me as the spiritual man sometimes,

Right?

That's lovely.

The spiritual man.

We're taking the spiritual man.

The other funny thing is that when I'm doing like,

I find myself doing meditations,

And he's around,

He'll say,

Oh,

There's a Bluetooth connection going on again.

So at least he's recognizing I'm connecting to something,

Right?

Oh,

Yeah,

It's so interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

But it's just so the whole spiritual thing is just so fascinating,

Because it's,

It's almost feels like,

Oh,

You're this and you're that.

No,

We're all,

We're all spiritual.

We're all spiritual in that sense.

And the way I was going with the fun part,

Excuse me,

Is that,

Excuse me again,

Is that once we get to that,

My voice is starting to go,

Throat,

Throat chakra.

Once we get to that point of healing,

Like healing patterns,

And like you said,

And that's when the fun element starts to come out.

That's when,

That's when you start to experience the different timelines,

The different possibilities.

Yeah.

The creativity starts,

Things,

There's realms of possibility there that were never there before.

Because otherwise,

It's just kind of,

Yeah,

Yeah.

That's,

I guess that's the whole point.

Spirituality is fun.

Spirituality takes you to the fun,

Fun part.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I love what you said,

Because it's true,

Like,

Life is spiritual,

Because you have a soul,

You're having a spiritual experience in terms of you're getting the challenges,

You're here,

You know,

To heal and overcome,

Or your soul has chosen at least,

You know,

You still have free will and be like,

Yes,

Or not,

Like,

That's your choice.

And that's okay.

Either way is fine.

And the thing is,

As you say,

Meditations and stuff,

Those are just tools to help you on the journey.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Self help tools,

Really.

I think it's a good way of,

Of,

I mean,

There's so much stimulation nowadays,

Isn't there?

Maybe we could go on information overload,

Intellectual mind,

It just feels like it gets overbombarded with so much like flicking WhatsApp,

Flicking on Facebook,

Flicking on Instagram,

And this,

That,

And the meditations I find come in useful to almost disconnect,

You know,

The brain getting overstimulated.

Connecting back to the self.

Yeah,

It's just coming back to yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so interesting,

Because what does it tell you that there is so much stimulation going on at the moment?

And for so many people,

Like for the majority of the population?

What does it tell you?

What does it tell me?

Yeah.

You mean in terms of like meditations or?

No,

In terms of the human experience.

Oh,

Well.

Wow.

Where do we go with that one?

Where does it tell me?

Sorry,

I didn't mean to call you out.

I was just curious if you had anything to say.

No,

Where was it telling me?

I guess it's just,

There's,

There's just an excellent,

It tells you sometimes that life is,

Is a big,

Can be a big challenge for a lot of people.

It's not to say that everybody comes here with a whole bucket of things to,

To heal.

The majority of us do,

The vast majority,

But I would quite say there's a slight few that,

That are probably spared,

But there may be,

Or come here to help those of us that are healing.

There's also the thing that you kind of,

Kind of have the holiday inclination where like,

Okay,

Just need to,

You know,

If you hit a lot of hard ones,

And then you kind of have an easier one to kind of,

Yeah.

So yeah,

There is lots of,

So basically what I wanted to get at was,

I think,

I believe there is always like,

Depending on the time you're living in,

There's always kind of a global theme that humanity chooses to go through and overcome.

And it's,

For me,

It's very telling that there's so much distraction going on at the moment,

Because I just see that.

And like,

It's true for my life as well.

Like,

The theme here is,

How do we overcome this and learn to go back to ourselves?

And that's why all the distractions here is doing us a favor,

Really,

Because there's something here for us to overcome and learn and grow.

Right.

Okay.

So,

You know,

You can see this as big or small as you want to,

Any challenge really is here for you to help,

To help you grow.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Exactly.

That's the thing,

Isn't it?

Every single challenge that we face is actually a growth challenge,

Right?

It's an opportunity,

Really,

To experience a higher timeline.

And that's the thing is like,

Do a lot of people believe that that higher timeline is there?

That's,

That's the other thing I wonder sometimes I kind of look around as I did.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Exactly.

Yeah,

Trust.

Yeah,

Trust that there is a higher possibility for them that there is a greater amount of,

There's maybe a greater love out there for someone else.

There's maybe in terms of relationships,

There's maybe a greater abundance in terms of,

Of well being of,

Of,

Of maybe a greater terms and greater sense in terms of,

You know,

And experiences and of helping people of self,

Self,

Self fulfillment,

Self,

You know,

It's a feeling like,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah.

And do you trust in it?

Because if you trust in you,

You know,

You're probably gonna get there.

Well,

That's the thing,

You do everything,

You do everything in your power to get to that point.

Yeah,

Because the trust really is like,

It's like an inner knowing.

So if you already know that it's gonna happen,

Of course,

There's no way you're not gonna get there.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Exactly.

You know,

Again,

If I can use an example of,

Of,

Of,

Of the journey,

Being well being on a path,

And we can see where we're exactly where we're going,

We can see the destination in our,

In our sights,

But there's certain challenges on the way,

But we know we're going to get there.

Anyway,

You know,

But so we keep pushing through a challenge and we keep pushing through.

Careful about that word pushing through because there's a,

There's a danger there of pushing through and ignoring the,

The emotions or the emotions that would come with the challenge.

You really want to flow through it.

Flow through it.

That's a better way of putting it.

If you can,

If you can.

If you can flow through these challenges in order to get to the destination,

You can see it,

You know,

It's there.

Then it becomes a whole lot easier because we don't have that.

There's nothing physical for us to kind of,

There's the invisible,

Right?

A lot to do with spirituality as well.

It's all energy.

It's invisible.

It's the things we don't see,

The things sometimes we don't feel.

It's trusting that that is there and it's there for our highest good and it's there for them in order to,

Well,

In order to grow,

Grow ourselves and grow humanity on a much,

Much bigger level.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And there is one more thing.

I know we've been going for quite a while.

A while,

Haven't we?

There is one more thing I wanted to talk about,

Which for me has been one of the biggest traps.

Oh,

Traps.

Okay.

So,

You know,

So I have to trust,

I'm trusting I'm going to get there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have like even the vision.

I know where I'm going.

I trust that I'm going to get there.

And then what often kicked in for me was waiting,

Waiting for me to get there.

That's the trap.

Waiting is a trap.

Why?

Because waiting,

So on an energetic level,

If you're in a state of waiting,

What it does is it creates more waiting.

It creates more scenarios,

Situations for you where you're going to wait.

So nothing's going to happen.

Nothing happens in a space of waiting.

Other than creating more waiting.

And so the thing is,

I realized that waiting is not actually a situation.

So because I came to that,

It's very interesting.

I did a lot of waiting in my life.

And that was partly because like I had to do lots of commuting to university and stuff like that,

Right?

Right.

Because there was a lot of like waiting for trains,

Waiting to be picked up by my parents,

Waiting to like,

I know it's just it struck me,

It really jumped out to me.

And it was like,

Why is that?

And I came to the realization.

It's not that the situation was,

Is waiting.

It's I chose to be in a state of waiting.

I could have done a million other things in a time that wouldn't feel like waiting to me.

Like it comes down to how do you choose to spend your time?

It's a state.

And how you choose.

I mean,

I guess by waiting for someone else,

If you put it like that,

You're giving away your power as well.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then what happens if we wait?

If we wait for somebody?

The time feels like endless.

Yeah.

Why?

Because you're creating more waiting for yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just take action.

Take action.

That's what takes you out of waiting.

And it can be whatever you want it to be.

You can choose to practice prime numbers.

You can,

You know,

It can be anything you can choose to like,

I could have chosen like to do my homework or whatever,

You know,

When I was like,

I am now in my like spiritual journey,

Like,

I have the vision,

I trust that I'm gonna get there.

And then I'm like,

In the waiting,

I can't,

I just,

I just have to wait for divine timing.

Like,

Bullshit.

There's no such thing.

The divine timing happens.

I heard that somebody said it recently,

It really struck a chord with me.

It's like the divine timing happens when you are a resonance for that thing you want.

So if you're not there yet,

It has nothing to do with divine timing.

If you're not there yet,

It means there's still something for you to do to get there.

So instead of waiting for it to come in,

You're gonna get your ass off the chair and take action,

Do something.

So in a way,

Divine timing is waiting for you.

And you're waiting for divine timing.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It's just there.

If you have the vision,

It's there for you.

It's there.

There's no like,

Right.

But you're not gonna get there by waiting for it to come to you.

It's not gonna,

You have to get to it.

See,

That's the thing,

Isn't it?

I just,

I believe that there is a,

There is a,

There's a greater experience out there for all of us,

Really.

And sometimes I just wonder like,

You know,

How much the very,

Very few of us,

How many people are actually aware of it.

But I guess that kind of comes back to is this people,

A lot of people I find just accepting of what their life is,

Right.

It just accepting that this is their life,

Then that's it.

Yeah.

And it's,

You know,

And it's,

It's,

It's,

It's,

It's,

It's,

It's just recognizing that or having the trust and the belief that there is a greater,

There is a greater thing out there for us all,

You know.

Yeah.

And there's a difference between accepting and surrendering,

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you,

If you just accept,

Okay,

That's how my life is,

And it's just probably never gonna change.

Well,

Then you're gonna keep on living in those patterns on a timeline that life.

If you decide,

Nope,

Not accepting that,

I wanna change it and I'm gonna change that.

But then you surrender to the flow and what comes up and then you go through it,

But in a state of surrender,

Knowing that everything that happens and comes towards you is in your highest good and for you to actually design specifically to get there.

Yeah.

That's different.

So with surrender,

You're not accepting your state,

But you're accepting that there are certain things for you to go through in order to get there.

It's accepting the moment.

Yes.

And accepting,

So it's accepting what is at the moment,

But not accepting that you're gonna carry on and relive that moment over and over.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Accepting that there's a difference between accepting what you're feeling and accepting that this is it for you.

Because that's basically giving up,

Right?

Well,

That's it.

It's the limiting belief aspect of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Cool.

Wow.

Another deep one.

Yeah,

It was really deep.

It was like up and down today,

Wasn't it?

It was.

I enjoyed it.

Me too.

Me too.

Me too.

Yeah.

And we're looking forward to the next one.

Yes.

Yes.

Absolutely.

Probably.

Thanks,

Iris.

Thank you.

And thanks,

Everybody who is listening in.

Yeah.

Let us know in the comments,

Reach out to us.

We'd love to hear from you.

Who are you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Identify yourself.

All right.

We'll see you in the next one.

Bye.