9 Cont. Northanger Abbey - Read By Stephanie Poppins

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Chapter 9 Continued They rode on for some time and John Thorpe's ideas all reverted to the merits of his own equipage,

And Catherine was called upon to admire the spirit and freedom with which his horse moved along.

She followed him in all his admiration as well as she could.

To go before or beyond John Thorpe was impossible.

His knowledge and her ignorance of the subject,

His rapidity of expression and her diffidence of herself put that out of her power.

She could strike out nothing new in commendation,

But she readily echoed whatever he chose to assert and it was finally settled between them without any difficulty that John Thorpe's equipage was altogether the most complete of its kind in England.

His carriage was the neatest,

His horse was the best goer and himself the best coachman.

You do not really think,

Mr Thorpe,

Said Catherine,

Venturing after some time,

That James's gig will break down?

Break down?

Oh Lord,

Did you ever see such a little tippity thing in your life?

There's not a sound piece of iron about it.

The will's been fairly worn out these ten years at least and as for the body,

Upon my soul you might shake it to pieces yourself with a touch.

It's the most devilish little rickety business I ever beheld.

Thank God we've got a better one.

I would not be bound to go two miles in it for £50,

000.

Good heavens,

Cried Catherine quite frightened,

Then pray let us turn back.

We'll certainly meet with an accident if we go on.

Do let us turn back,

Mr Thorpe.

Stop and speak to my brother and tell him how very unsafe it is.

Unsafe?

Lord,

What is there in that?

They'll only get a roll in it if it does break down and there's plenty of dirt.

It will be an excellent falling.

Curse it,

The carriage is safe enough,

If a man knows how to drive it.

A thing of that sort in good hands will last above twenty years if it's fairly worn out.

Lord bless you,

Catherine.

I would undertake for £5 to drive it to York and back again without losing a nail.

Catherine listened with astonishment.

She knew not how to reconcile two such different accounts of the same thing,

For she had not been brought up to understand the propensities of a rattle,

Nor to know how many idle assertions and impudent falsehoods the excess of vanity will lead.

Her own family were plain matter-of-fact people who seldom aimed at wit of any kind,

Her father at the utmost being contented with a pun and her mother with a proverb.

They were not in the habit,

Therefore,

Of telling lies to increase their importance or of asserting at one moment what they would contradict the next.

She reflected on the affair for some time in much perplexity.

It was more than once on the point of requesting from Mr Thorpe a clearer insight into his real opinion on the subject,

But she checked herself because it appeared to her he did not excel in giving those clearer insights and making those things plain which he had not before made ambiguous.

He must know the carriage to be in fact perfectly safe,

She concluded at last,

And therefore she would alarm herself no longer.

By him,

It seemed the matter was entirely forgotten,

And all the rest of his conversation began and ended with himself and his own concerns.

He told her of horses which he'd bought for a trifle and sold for an incredible sum,

Of racing matches in which his judgment had infallibly foretold the winner,

Of shooting parties in which he'd killed more birds,

Though without having a good shot,

Than all his companions together,

And he described to her some famous day's sport with the foxhounds in which his foresight and skill in directing the dogs had repaired the mistakes of the most experienced huntsman,

And in which the boldness of his riding,

Though it had never endangered his own life for a moment,

Had been constantly leading others into difficulties which she calmly concluded had broken the necks of many.

Little as Catherine was in the habit of judging for herself,

And unfixed as were her general notions of what men ought to be,

She could not entirely repress a doubt.

While she bore with the effusions of his endless conceit,

Of his being altogether completely agreeable.

It was a bold surmise,

For he was Isabella's brother,

And she had been assured by James that his manners would recommend him to all her sex.

But in spite of this,

The extreme weariness of his company,

Which crept over her before they'd been out about an hour,

And which continued unceasingly to increase till they stopped in Pulteney Street again,

Induced her in some small degree to resist such high authority and distrust his powers of giving universal pleasure.

When they arrived at Mrs Allen's door,

The astonishment of Isabella was hardly to be expressed,

On finding it was too late in the day for them to attend her friend into the house.

Past three o'clock!

It was inconceivable,

Incredible,

Impossible,

She said,

That she would never believe her own watch,

Nor her brother's,

Nor the servants'.

She would believe no assurance of it founded on reason or reality,

Till Morland produced his watch and ascertained the fact,

To have doubted a moment longer then,

Would only have been equally inconceivable,

Incredible and impossible.

And she could only protest over and over again that no two hours and a half had ever gone off so swiftly before,

As Catherine was called upon to confer.

Catherine could not tell a falsehood even to please Isabella,

But the latter was spared the misery of her friend's dissenting voice by not waiting for her answer.

Her own feelings entirely engrossed her.

Her wretchedness was most acute on finding herself obliged to go directly home.

It was ages since she'd had a moment's conversation with her dearest Catherine,

She said.

And though she had such thousands of things to say to her,

It appeared as if they were never to be together again.

So,

With smiles of a most exquisite misery and the laughing eye of utter despondency,

She bade her friend adieu and went on.

Catherine found Mrs.

Allen just returned from all the busy idleness of the morning,

And was immediately greeted with,

Well,

My dear,

Here you are.

A truth which she had no greater inclination than power to dispute.

And I hope you have had a pleasant airing.

Yes,

Ma'am,

I thank you.

We could not have had a nicer day.

So Mrs.

Thorpe said.

She said she was vastly pleased that you're all going.

You have seen Mrs.

Thorpe,

Then?

Yes,

I went to the pump room as soon as you were gone,

And there I met her and we had a great deal of talk together.

She said there was hardly any veal to be got at market this morning.

It's so uncommonly scarce.

Did you see anybody else of our acquaintance?

Yes,

We agreed to take a turn in the Crescent,

And there we met Mrs.

Hughes and Mr.

And Miss Tilney walking with her.

Did you indeed?

And did they speak to you?

Yes,

We walked along the Crescent together for half an hour.

They seemed very agreeable people.

Miss Tilney was in a very pretty spotted muslin,

And I fancy by what I can learn that she always dresses very handsomely.

Mrs.

Hughes talked to me a great deal about the family.

And what did she tell you of them?

Oh,

A vast deal indeed.

She hardly talked of anything else.

Did she tell you what part of Gloucestershire they came from?

She did,

But I can't recollect now.

But they are a very good kind of people,

And very rich.

Mrs.

Tilney was a Miss Drummond,

And she and Mrs.

Hughes were schoolfellows,

And Miss Drummond had a very large fortune.

And when she married,

Her father gave her twenty thousand pounds,

And five hundred to buy wedding clothes.

Mrs.

Hughes saw all the clothes after they came from the warehouse.

And are Mr.

And Mrs.

Tilney in Bath?

I fancy they are,

But I'm not quite certain.

Upon recollection,

However,

I have a notion they're both dead.

At least the mother is.

Yes,

I'm sure Mrs.

Tilney's dead,

Because Mrs.

Hughes told me there was a very beautiful set of pearls that Mr.

Drummond gave his daughter on her wedding day,

And that Miss Tilney has got now,

For they were put by for her when her mother died.

And is Mr.

Tilney,

My partner,

The only son?

I cannot be quite positive about that,

My dear.

I have some idea he is,

But however,

He is a very fine young man,

Mrs.

Hughes says,

And likely to do very well.

Catherine inquired no further.

She had heard enough to feel that Mrs.

Allen had no real intelligence to give,

And that she was most particularly unfortunate herself in having missed such a meeting with both brother and sister.

Could she have foreseen such a circumstance,

Nothing should have persuaded her to go out with the others.

And as it was,

She could only lament her ill luck,

And think over what she had lost,

Till it was clear to her that the drive had by no means been very pleasant,

And that John Thorpe himself was quite disagreeable.