Metta And Knowing The Defilements

56:59

56:59

Metta And Knowing The Defilements

by Ajahn Sumedho

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4.8

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talks

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Meditation

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Everyone

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Metta as an attitude of allowing all present moment experiences to be without aversion, rather than personal views and opinions about sweetness and approval.

Meet your Teacher

Hemel Hempstead, UK

Meet your Teacher

Hemel Hempstead, UK

Transcript

Composing, Here and now recollecting mindfulness here and now, It's perception to train ourselves to use this as a way of centering, Of grounding, Of being rather than living in the world of self views and worldly attitudes, Believing time is reality. So these words, Satipa, Sampachanya, Satipanya, These are ways of training ourselves, Here and now, Here and now what's happening, It's like this, Sound of silence, Physical posture, Breathing, Just noticing, Observing, An attitude is like the different upayas and skillful means the Buddha encourage us to use, Ways of looking, Of being here and now but with certain attitude. So like investigating, Being the observer, And there's using the Baryatidamma as a way of looking at the here and now and the present, Like the Four Noble Truths, There is suffering, There is dukkha. So that's the scriptural teaching, The first sermon, And then that encourages us to bhatibhata, To look, To observe the suffering or feelings that you're experiencing, Maybe physical discomfort, Different kind of mental states, Moods, Doubts, Worries. So this emphasis on dukkha gives us a perspective of looking at this, Not as a projection of the mind but observing, Being the observer of dukkha rather than the owner. And all into the causes of suffering, The cessation and the past. Like metta pavana, Loving kindness. It's a bit confusing because it all sounds so kind of, May I abide in well-being, It sounds, You know, The structure itself is about, You know, Me wanting to abide in well-being, You know, It's like a prayer, Freedom from affliction, Freedom from hostility, Freedom from ill will and so forth. Or is that a way of an attitude, Is metta, Loving kindness, An attitude to be mindful with rather than position, You know, Is it sakya dhiti, May I abide in well-being or what is it pointing at? Me, Ajahn Sermato, I want to be happy, Don't rock the boat, May I be, That could be sakya dhiti or it could be, You know, An attitude of metta, Of accepting whatever I'm experiencing this time through the body, Through the mind, Emotions, An attitude of non-aversion, Of acceptance of maybe dukkha or unpleasantness or anguish or despair or self-hatred or whatever, May I abide in well-being isn't about my personality but it's a reflection on not creating problems around the realities of the conditioned world in the present moment, It's like this. So as metta practice, You know, It always begins with may I abide in well-being, Then it goes on to may everyone abide in well-being. And sometimes that's easier to do, Isn't it? I find it much easier for me to wish everyone, You know, All creatures the very best, But the self, The sense of may I abide in well-being. And then using and learning to use the attitude, What is metta practice really? Is it kind of just being sweet and loving and uncritical and nice to everything? Does it mean you have to approve of everything and just be terribly kind of goody good about life in general? You can know that life is all about love and kindness and happiness and we can go on into positive thinking or is it more profound than that? Is it cosmetic or is it an attitude of non-criticism, Of accepting even evil and ugliness and misery and doubt and despair, Not approving, But in our own minds to if such emotions, Such conditions arise, Then the attitude of metta then is letting them be what they are rather than judging, Rather than trying to destroy the evil, The bad, Or just trying to cover up everything with positive thoughts. You know, Like evil, There's this pretty powerful word in English. It's, You know, We're culturally conditioned to think we've got to fight against evil, Conquer evil, The axis of evil, The enemy, The devil, Satanic forces. And this is a cultural, You know, Our dualistic culture is to fight off, Resist, Destroy the evil forces. And then with metta practice, You know, It's not fighting, But knowing, You know, Knowing good and evil as conditions arising ceasing. So accepting of evil, When I say accepting, Then people can get very upset because it sounds like we just go along, You know, Evil rises, We just commit evil acts accordingly. Or accepting doesn't mean approving or acting on it, But allowing evil thoughts or emotions to be the knower of them, Meaning you don't just react with aversion, Hatred, And try to destroy them. But no, No evil from this non-critical metta attitude. It's like this. So one can have metta for the devil. It doesn't mean, You know, It doesn't mean a kind of sentimental, I wish you all the best devil kind of thing. That's being ridiculous. It is, If such devilish images or thoughts arise, Our relationship to it is non-criticism, Non-aversion, Non-hostility. But knowing, Discerning that it is like this. So in the scriptures, Mara tries, After the Buddha is enlightened, Mara comes and puts the Buddha to the test, You know, Tries to tempt him or delude the Buddha. And the Buddha says, I know you, Mara. That's a very, I found that very helpful because it's knowing, Knowing Mara, There you are, Mara, And shoot him, Push him off the cliff. No, No, No kind of violent reaction or cursing, You know, No anger, But just knowing. It's discerning. It's not personal views about Mara, But it's the discerning from the Buddha, Panya level. I know, I know you, Mara, It's like, It's recognizing, It's discerning knowing. Where personal knowing, You know, Say, I have Mara comes in and tries to seduce me, Delude me, And I say, Get out of here, Mara, I hate you. And I try to kill him. And so, And then Mara is successful, Isn't it? He's convinced me, He's deluded me, Seduced me. Now applying that to, You know, From the first practice of metta, May I abide in well-being, And this is, This is a formula, You know, Of metta. But it's not just a kind of, You know, Not superficial at all, Even though at first it can sound, You know, Just being very positive and nice about life. It's a metta, When you really contemplate loving kindness or metta, It is, You know, It's profound, It's not just superficial sweetness, But it's a profound willingness to discern and not take sides, Not be caught in one's personal habits of attraction and aversion. So in, You know, Like in my own practice, For example, This with sound of silence, You know, The conditions, Training myself over the years of monastic life to deal with the anger, Anger, Disillusionment, Jealousy, Fear, Despair, Confusion, Resentments. And knowing, You know, Clearly the personality, The personal habits that arise and the conditioning of the mind, My cultural background and, And, You know, Comic tendencies are like this. Then in recognizing the sound of silence, You know, Just using that as a reference point, Not to get rid of negativity or, You know, It's not to, To annihilate anything, But a reference point in which I can patiently accept pain and anguish and despair. Because it's, I'm not adding to it with, You know, Liking, Disliking, Approving, Disapproving, Feeling guilty, Being self-critical, Or being deluded into, You know, Into attitudes of righteousness and, And that, That quite easily arise in, In the, In any religious aspiration within an individual. So this gives, So this, You can see it as meta, Sound of silence doesn't particularly, You know, It's just, It's, It's not even a sound, Kind of vibration or it's recognizable. And then the, The, The tendency to proliferate about myself and what I like and don't like is, It stops the proliferating tendency of the way I'm conditioned to struggle, Trying to get rid of, Trying to hold on to feeling guilty, Self-critical, Blaming others. The whole panorama of Ajahn Sumedho is, Is then accepted non-critically and ceases. It's not created into anything more. It's not compounded. And so in Thai, The Thai language, They use the, You know, Like compounding or sangkara, They use the Thai words phung dang, Which means to add to something, Season something. So something arises, Then you, You add something to it. So like, Say anger, You feel the condition, Somebody says something abusive to me, You know, So then you feel this resentment or anger arising. And then to compound that arising is how dare you, You shouldn't, And on and on like this. That's bad, It's wrong, Or it can be, I could be, You know, You know, Think I'm being very high minded and think I shouldn't feel anger towards that person. I tried to make it into something about maybe I'm feeling guilty or blaming the person or blaming myself. That's what we call compounding, Isn't it? Adding to the actual condition arising. So like the, Even the thinking mind will call it, You know, Anger. But that's another additive, Isn't it? Compounding, Putting a word to the actual arising is a form of, Is another kind of compounding where the sound of silence, The thinking mind stops, And then the feeling, The conditions for that emotion arise. But it's not making a problem about it, It's allowing it to be, But not attaching to it through getting, You know, Grasping it and getting caught in your own personal tendencies, How you deal with anger, Or trying to suppress it and resist it and deny it. So this is a subtle, This is subtlety, Isn't it? Because, You know, It's ideally, You know, We shouldn't get angry, We should have metas for each other, And so forth. It's all the shoulds of life, The ideals. But we live in the, Not in ideals, But in the way things are. And this is where this itta bhajya dha, This conditioning, When the conditions arise, When, You know, This is the karma of being human, Human individual, Or being a mammal, You know, Dogs and cats get angry. You know, Anger is a kind of primal emotion. Lust, Anger, Fear. These are, You know, These are primal conditions, These are part of the package of being born as a human being, Or as an ape or a dog or a cat. So this is, And then the human problem is that we identify with it. You know, We, When we have ideas of, You know, If we're really mindful, Some of us, Then we shouldn't be angry, We should be full of loving kindness, Even when somebody, You know, Attacks us or humiliates us or or abuse us in brutal and unkind ways, We should, You know, We should just feel loving kindness for them is, Is, But can you do that on a personal level, Can your personality, The sakya dhiti, Is that loving kindness? You know, Can you make yourself love and like something that's totally unlikable as a person, As a, As a sakya dhiti? I can't do that. I can, Through understanding, Discerning sakya dhiti, Then I can deal with, With the condition, The karmic conditions that, That I have to experience in this form, Whether they're praise and blame, Happiness, Suffering, Whatever. Because then one, One is no longer coming from, From this compounding, From ideals, Ideals are compounds, Aren't they? How things should be. They're, They, They, You know, They, We add them to life. But dhamma, You know, This word dhamma is not, It's not about ideals. There's no kind of ideal dhamma. It's here and now, A tangent, It's reality, It's the way it is. It's the discerning, Knowing that is available to us in this human form, With whatever kind of comic inheritance we have as individuals. So, Having met for, Like, For example, Somebody insults me and I feel, And I feel this anger rising. Met for the anger. It's not, It's not poong dang, It's not compounding or adding or making it anything more than what it is. It's totally accepting the feeling. And then that I can do in this reference to sound of silence, Because it's here and now. And it stops the tendency and the habit of making it more than what it is. And then the perspective on it's allowing the anger to be and arise and cease, Because if you don't attach or resist its nature is to cease. What arises ceases and is anatta, Non-self. So when we, You know, When we chant the sharing of blessings and like this, Sharing the blessings of our life with Mara and things like, With the, You know, The devils and the devas and so forth. It's, You know, This is, Is it, It isn't about personal. It's not not trying to, To be something we can't be as a person. You know, To be terribly, To try to make ourselves or convince ourselves that we should be an ideal, An ideal person. And you have this kind of generosity, This willingness to learn from, From evil, From Mara, From insults and despair, From not getting what we want, From wanting things we, We, We don't have and all the whole, The whole range of human immersion, Habit, Tendencies, Wholesome, Unwholesome, Willingness to learn and to discern, To see the anatta of it all and the, The anichaa, The dukkha. So Mara or, You know, Satan in the Christian is really, You know, They will have relentlessly pursue you through your life because it's your best friend. It won't let you get away with anything till you finally totally let go. And he's putting you to the test. So in the scriptures, Mara was still after the Buddha, After he was many years enlightened, You know, Just, And this is, You know, This realm we live in, It's like this. It's not, It's not an ideal realm. It's not, It has, It's good, Bad, Beautiful, Ugly, The whole, The whole range of qualities and quantities, Conditions. Then we have these human karmas to live with, Sexual desires, Sexual bodies. And notice how in the, Like in modern life, You know, The Western world, We identify strongly with sexuality. You know, It's me and mine. It's judged as good, Bad, Right or wrong. It's held up as sacred and the best thing that happens to human beings. Or it's considered dirty and impure or vile or whatever. And then there's different tendencies, Sexual tendencies, Karmic tendencies, Homosexuality and so forth. All these that we identify with these tendencies, Maybe karmic tendencies. And then it becomes an obsession of the society, You know, The sexual identities are, You hear it all the time, Everything is, You know, About sex these days. And it's, You know, So it's this sense that I, This is my, This is me. And then we judge it according to what's social, What society regards it as being right and wrong, Good and bad, Allowable, Unallowable. Those are the, The compounds we add in this is right, This is wrong. So whatever, You know, Sexuality is the nature of the body, It's a sexual form. And it's the body is for procreating the species, The male body, Female body are like this. You know, So it's, It's just the, You know, We, We as a community are celibate community, Not as some kind of puritanical position we attack against, You know, Some kind of puritanical view of sexuality but being able to observe it, To be the knower of sexual desire, Of lust, Of one's personal views or tendencies or preferences, You know, Like this. And then the meta isn't, Is non-judgmental, Is not trying to justify or, Or, Or reject or approve or disprove but knowing. And that celibacy of brahmacharya is, It has to be voluntary, You know, You can't force, When you're forced into some kind of celibate life, You know, It's, It's not, It's just a form of tyranny. But becoming a samana is where you, You know what you're doing. You're choosing celibacy of brahmacharya because it's a way of, Say, Looking and observing these sexual energies that one experiences through the body and through the changing conditions that we experience in life is like this. The knower, The discerning, Discerning of sexuality isn't sexuality, It's non-personal. It's not my, Me anymore or, Or the sexual arousal of the present is seen in terms of dhamma of what it really is rather than judged according to social attitudes or personal attitudes about it or identities. Because the conditions, You know, It's one of the insights into conditionality when the conditions arise and this is, You know, When, When for anger, For lust, For fear, For jealousy, Envy, Confusion, Despair, Resentment. Boredom, Aversion and so forth. These are ways of describing certain energetic experiences, But our relationship to them as mendicants, As samanas, As celibate is our soul, You know, The way of practice of developing the path is being aware of them, What arises ceases. And to allow something that has arisen to cease is metta, Isn't it? It's not, It's not trying to get rid of it. But to be patient, Allowing, Say, Evil to arouse that has arisen to let it cease in its own, You know, But not act on it or speak on it, But know it, Discern it. So one have metta for Mara, It means that, You know, When Mara comes to, To delude you, Say, I know you Mara, And then Mara ceases. It's performing its, Its duty as a condition that arises and ceases. Mara is not the unborn, Uncreated, Unformed, Unconditioned. So you can call this transcendent, You know, This relationship of the unborn to the born. But, You know, Whatever words we use, That's not quite it, You know, There's just the limitation of language, Because transcendent, You know, Sounds, Can sound very dualistic, You know, Like, Above it all, You know, We're up here and the kind of conditions are over there, Down there below us. But in this, In this, In the reality of the here and now, Then they are together, The unborn and the born. The born can't, Conditions can't be born if there was no unconditioned unborn. They're not independent agents, But because of human ignorance and identity out of ignorance to attach and identify with the born, The created, The form, Then we are, You know, We are kind of caught in this, The, The sound sorry motion of birth and death. And so then this reflection of being able to perceive, To see from this unborn, Uncreated awareness, The born and the created. Now, Training, Like the sound of silence practice, I found it effective because training oneself to refer to it wherever you are. When you're washing the dishes or walking from here to there or in the London Underground or Heathrow Airport meditation hall, Whether you're feeling healthy or sickly or whatever, Things are going your way or things are going all wrong. Everybody loves me or hates me. Then the sound of silence, Training oneself, Remembering this scintillating, Resonating vibration. And then remembering it. And as you cultivate, It means you keep extending it. So you're staying with it for a longer period of time because it is like a stream. It doesn't just begin and end. Maybe your attention, You have it and then you lose it. But it's always here and now. And it's not obliterating anything. It's not like it just takes over and obliterates all other conditions. It's like space or background or consciousness. It has the unborn, Uncreated. It can function like this because as you acknowledge it and kind of cultivate, Rest in it, You begin to notice it everywhere, Wherever you are, Whatever you're doing, Whatever state you happen to be in. So it can be seen as meta practice also. Because when I'm resting in this silence and this stillness, Then I can accept whatever. Not resisting, Judging, Struggling, Analyzing, Criticizing, Caught in maybe personal emotional habits or reactions to conditions that are happening. I can stop just getting caught up in the habitual patterns. And then it allows me to give me space or ability to accept something I don't like and don't want, Where I can have that discerning ability to see that I don't like this, I don't want this is like this. It's an emotion that arises is like this. And in the sound of silence, It's not an annihilation of it, But it's not a perpetuation of that desire. I'm not feeding it nor resisting it, Suppressing it, Or attaching to it. So then you have to discern this for yourself. Is that liberation or not? Is that suffering or not? Letting things go, Being what they are, Is that dukkha or non-dukkha? And so like investigating, Is that self or non-self? Is this awareness in the silence? Then my intuitive sense is that's non-self. It has no personality, Not a condition that I create out of ignorance and desire. But it gives me the perspective on those tendencies, On those habits that I've developed in my life as a human being to create myself and believe in my own thoughts and emotions and feelings and so forth. If I didn't have this perspective, I would be just fumbling around in the same old way with all the conditioning I've acquired. So then loving kindness, That's putting a more positive, You're saying loving kindness is a more inspiring way of looking at something. But it can be, It's not sentimental or superficial. It's profound. It's unconditioned, Non-violent awareness of the nature of conditioned phenomena. And the patience, Being patient with the very things that on a personal level we're very impatient about. And then on a personal level, We suffer a lot from impatience. I don't like this. I don't want that. I don't approve of this. How can we get rid of this and so forth? Anger is always a sign of a lack of patience. So with this stillness, This sound of silence, This patience, With this flowing, Resonating, Allows us to not make problems or compound the condition that has arisen. So then I can affirm non-suffering is like this. This is not suffering. So I'm using the words dukkha and non-dukkha, Attachment, Non-attachment, Self, Not self. Or just take the Pali words like lopadosa moha, Greed, Hatred, And delusion. Greed and non-greed. Can you discern when there's no greed and when there is in your consciousness? We tend to not notice, Not recognize, Not discern non-greed or non-hatred or non-delusion. But because we're so identified with greed, Hatred, And delusion with views about it, Greed is, That's not, We shouldn't be greedy. Hatred, We shouldn't hate. Deluded, I don't want to be deluded. So those all have pejorative meanings, Greed, Hatred, And delusion. And the causes of suffering. But ignorance is the cause, Isn't it? Ignorance of greed, Hatred, And delusion. So it's not getting rid of greed, Hatred, And delusion as some kind of annihilation. But knowing, Discerning when non-greed is like this, Then the sound of silence, Maybe greedy feelings, Then you're aware of them and their presence and then their absence because they arise and cease. Greed, Hatred, And delusion. Alo pa adosa amoha. These are words to remind yourself, Is there greed or non-greed? Now, In this resonating silence, There's a discerning of non-greed right now that I'm experiencing. So it's discerning non-greed is like this. Non-aversion is like this. Now, Delusion isn't so clear, Is it? Greed, Lust, And that is quite strong in hatred, Anger, Resentment. Delusion, Moha, Doubt, Worry. You can start doubting, Am I just fooling myself? Is there a moha? Or maybe there's a slight bit of moha still there. So we start getting caught in trying to figure out whether there's a moha or moha or delusion. But in this perspective, Emphasis on the unborn, Uncreated sound of silence, Then the doubting tendency, Am I deluding myself, Is seen as a condition arising and ceasing. Doubt, And wikikeecha, And your own tendency to be self-critical, And fears, And guilt, And all these forms of delusion can be. There's a discerning. They're present. And then through letting their presence, Acknowledging their presence, Then you're aware of their absence also, Because then they cease. And amoha. And then this is peacefulness too, Because one is peaceful rather than, Because the sangsara is not peaceful. Lopa dosamo are not peaceful states. Make the sangsara a peaceful place. But you can abide in peacefulness through awareness and discernment. So this discerning non-greed, A lopa. And that's why there's a trusting yourself. You're the one that knows what's happening inside you. On a personal level, That's why you can be caught in a kind of doubt, And worry, And feelings of self-doubt. Or confusion around it. And as long as you keep operating from the self-view, From sakkha-dhiti, Then of course, You're just perpetuating the self-view. So it's not getting rid of self-view, But discerning it. And so this is my suggestion. You have to find out the result of it from your own practice. But it's a matter of learning to trust this. Not yourself, Not your personality, Or your views or opinions, But to this, This awareness. And then it puts me in a state of alert attention, Listening. And then one can be the observer of the arising and ceasing of lopa dosa moha. And so that's why I'm saying that. The observer of the arising and ceasing of lopa dosa moha. And so it's like, I know you, Lopa. Isn't aversion to lopa, Is it? It's knowing. I know you, Dosa. I know you, Moha. It's just letting it, Knowing, Discerning, And letting it be what it is. And of course, The lopa dosa moha arise and cease according to conditions. So because we have these sexual forms to live with, The human form, Then the conditions for sexual, For lust arise. Conditions, And of course, Celibate life, We're trying to live in a way that isn't particularly promoting a lot of sexual temptations. Shaving head, The robe, And so forth is a kind of way of not perpetuating, Or exaggerating, Or personifying the sexual tendencies one has. But still, Within the celibate life, We have to, We're aware of that because that's part of the karma of this species. And so our relationship to it is knowing, Discerning, Non-acting on it. Not because of the vow of celibacy, Commitment to celibacy, Non-action. So one of the epithets for the Buddha is knower of the worlds, Knower of the world, Loka-widu. And so this is, Don't think that loka-widu is a quality of the Buddha of India 2, 500 years ago. And that he did it, But you can't. It's not that we become Buddhas, But it's like when we're in this, When we discern this unborn, And our relationship to the born then is a knower, Knower of the world. The born is the world, Isn't it? The born that created the form, The condition. This is the world. This is me. This is you. This is England. This is on and on like that, You know, To create the world, Knower of the world, Loka-widu. Don't sell yourself short by thinking that you're just an ordinary person, And nothing like the Buddha. The Buddha was an enlightened prophet, And you're just a neurotic, Screwed up personality. Don't believe it. Knower, This is within this whole purpose of the Buddha. This whole purpose of this convention of Buddhism is to like taking refuge in Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha is isn't about me as a person. It's a reminder. Lokawidu, Buddha, Being the knowing, Trusting in this awareness, And discerning and cultivating it. Bhavana, Bhattibhatta, Meditation. Ayaṁ na saṅkha-tattva-bhātta-bhagavate. Ayaṁ na saṅkha-tattva-bhagavate. Ayaṁ na saṅkha-tattva-bhagavate. Ayaṁ na saṅkha-tattva-bhagavate. Ayaṁ na saṅkha-tattva-bhagavate. There is an unborn, Unoriginated, Uncreated, Unborn. It never comes what is unborn, Unoriginated, Uncreated, Unborn. An escape from the world of the born, The originated, Created, And the formed will not be possible. But since there is an unborn, An unoriginated, Uncreated, And unborn, Therefore it is impossible to move out of the born, The originated, Created, And the formed.