Discover The Wisdom Of Your Life through Your Mother

Hello everyone,

Welcome to the Soul Conversations,

Where I will share knowledge and insights that will inspire you to improve the overall quality of your life.

By the end of this talk,

You will have 7 insights and inspirations to help you understand the wisdom of your life that was brought forward with your mother.

Yes,

You heard me right.

You may not have met your birth mother or perhaps your relationship with her is not the best one.

You dread the thought of going home for the holidays or speaking to her when you see her name on a caller ID.

Get ready to transform the relationship you think you have with your mother and improve your life.

I am Ana Barreto,

Author of the books Women Rising Beings,

Self-Trust,

There is a Higher Power Within,

And The Nine Powers of Women.

Get a cup of tea,

Pull out your journal and a pen.

It will be great for you to take notes.

That's how many people remember what they learned.

If you need to pause,

Please do so before we begin.

Also,

Silence your cell phone,

Close your email browser,

And tell yourself to give you 30 minutes.

This is your time.

If you need to improve the relationship you have with your mother,

You are in the right place.

Why would you want to take this time?

Perhaps you have given up on your relationship with your mother.

Maybe she's no longer here and the thoughts you have about her bring you anger and sadness.

You may feel that you don't have a mother and have written her off after everything she did or didn't do.

She may be in the nursing home or even living downstairs,

But closeness does not define your relationship.

Or yet,

Like many people,

You secretly carry a resentment that only comes out when you feel she pushed your buttons.

If any of these scenarios describe your thoughts about your mother,

Then this talk is meant for you.

Before we continue,

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I was born in Rio de Janeiro,

Brazil,

And I came to New York for a six-month adventure in 1988.

Before that,

When I was 14 years old,

That's when I first told my mother that I would be leaving home when I turned 18,

Even though girls don't leave home until they are married.

Within a week of my 18th birthday,

I went to visit a friend and returned only three days later to pick up my things.

I was on my own.

My mother didn't speak to me for about three months and my dad for a good six months.

Two years later,

I needed my dad to sign my passport so I could leave the country.

In Brazil,

You have to be 21 years old to be fully independent.

So I did what any smart girl would do.

I lied.

I told my dad that the hotel I worked for was sending me to New York for a month to improve my English,

And he believed me.

My first few years in New York were hard work.

I worked as a housekeeper,

Babysitter,

Dog walker,

And any job that would help pay the out-of-state tuition for college and the rent of a studio apartment in Manhattan that I share with my unemployed best friend.

I graduated from college,

Got married,

Bought a house,

Had kids,

Earned an MBA,

Achieved my goals,

And secretly,

I resented my mother.

But I didn't know.

When it surfaced,

It was in 2015 when I was driving to work early in the morning on the Taconic Parkway.

I pulled over and began to write the main points for a book I was going to write.

The lessons every mother should teach their daughters,

But my mother didn't teach me.

I wanted to help women learn those lessons and not waste as much time as I did trying to figure out all the things on my own.

I booked a vacation,

Arranged for my children to visit family,

And three days before leaving,

My mother was hit by a car crossing the streets in Rio,

And she needed surgery.

Actually,

She needed three surgeries.

I canceled my writing vacation and flew home to help my mother.

During the 10 days I stayed,

I nursed my mother after surgery and closed her house.

She was not able to live alone anymore.

Each day,

I finally learned the lessons that she has been showing me all along,

But I was too involved in my drama of my own story and didn't pay attention.

That's how my first book came out,

Women,

Rice,

And Beans.

My lessons were my lessons.

Your lessons are your lessons.

Today,

I share seven insights for you to reflect and drop any baggage you may be carrying about your mother.

My wish for you is that you open your heart and begin to learn the lessons you both agree to teach each other.

So let's begin.

Insight number one.

Know that you choose your mother before you were born.

Yes,

You selected the time,

The family,

The town,

And the mother to raise you.

You pulled the mothering style out of her just for you.

That's why mothers treat their children differently,

Even though they say they don't.

If you were not her favorite,

You didn't want it to be,

And you decided,

With the infinite wisdom available to every soul,

I know what you are thinking.

Why would anyone in the right mind pick her?

Now,

Ask yourself,

Why did you choose her?

Why?

From billions of people in the world,

Why did you select her?

You may be thinking that you don't know,

But you do.

Consider all options.

You can pause now and answer that question.

Insight number two.

Children are the best teachers for mothers.

Yes,

You are a teacher.

Here you are expecting her to teach you,

But she is the student.

Have you noticed that the next generation tends to be better than the previous one?

Are you teaching her a hard lesson?

Did you need her to show commitment,

Sacrifice,

Or dedication?

Some people learn about companionship by experiencing loneliness.

Others learn wealth by not having any money.

Like any school,

The school of life has dropouts too.

Was she a dropout?

Was she that difficult student who needed detention?

Some people don't go back to school at all.

Others return much later when they feel they are mature and ready to dedicate the time it requires.

What type of student was your mother?

Did she need a special teacher?

Were you able to be that for her?

Take the time to understand this insight.

Insight number three.

The bond between mother and child is unbreakable.

The bond of unconditional love exists eternally between the mother and her children,

Even if the mother abandons the child.

The relationship starts at conception.

It is the strongest within a few days after the child is born.

Many women report finding this bond at the moment of birth,

Others within a few days.

The mother-child connection is there even for those who for some reason can't connect.

This divine connection is what mothers report as knowing.

It is responsible for mothers receiving the intuition that she is needed before she gets the call.

The mother-child connection begins to thin out when the child reaches puberty,

But it never breaks.

It seems to fade,

But with a tiny drop of intention,

They reestablish the connection.

Insight number four.

Mothers are humans and have free will like everyone else.

A woman's influence is limited by the mother's capacity to act based on the level of consciousness she has at the time.

Somehow the world has decided to hold mothers accountable for everything.

It's easy to have an opinion about someone else's action.

No one knows what a mother lived through,

Her upbringing or her level of awareness.

Once a woman becomes a mother,

She is to learn the manual of conduct that no one taught in school and no one has agreed on what the curriculum is to be a good mother.

At best,

She learned from her mother by watching what she did who learned from her mother.

It's convenient to point fingers.

It's easy to resent.

But today,

I ask you to do the hard thing and that is to forgive.

I ask you that you give your mother the benefit of the doubt and consider that perhaps she was broken.

We don't step on a dog with a broken leg,

Do we?

We may not take the dog home,

But we feel compassion and offer assistance.

If we could follow back her trajectory of life,

We would find a time where a lack of awareness impaired her free will.

Forgiving can be difficult but not impossible.

Give her the benefit of the doubt.

Insight number five.

The universe has many ideas for love.

What if God or whatever power you believe that is higher than you intended or wanted to allow another woman the opportunity to care and be loved by you?

What if your relationship with your mother was the best way for you to connect with the soul of a mother?

I mean the mother you were raised by or the mother that you will become or choose to marry.

Knowing what we don't want help us know what we want.

Let me repeat this so you don't miss it.

When we know what we don't like,

We learn more about what we like.

Clarity is a blessing because it takes away the guessing work.

What if your complicated relationship with your mother or lack of it led you to pause today and decide what type of mother you plan to be?

Maybe there is a lesson in love for you by releasing any resentment with understanding.

Unconditional love is there even if you don't see it in physical form.

Can you see the lesson in love?

It's there somewhere.

You could pause now and feel the lesson.

Step number six.

Everyone becomes their own mother.

When I left my husband and called home to tell my mother that I was getting a divorce,

My mother said,

I had a worse marriage than yours and I put up with,

Why can't you?

It was true.

She had an abusive marriage splashed with domestic violence and she tolerated.

After that call,

I fed my anger and resentment when I realized that I had learned to endure domestic violence from my mother.

Unlike my mother,

I had a high paying job,

Good credits,

The rights for my house,

And only two children instead of six.

How dare she suggested that I stick with an abused husband for the sake of marriage?

I got swollen by my drama and all I could see was that I was not going to teach my children to tolerate violence.

I didn't know then,

But her words pushed me to move ahead.

At that time,

I thought I was protecting my children,

But I was protecting me.

I had to be my own mother and nurture me back to life instead of having my mother do it for me.

It's not a bad thing.

It's not a bad thing after all,

Because that's how children learn,

By watching adults.

Please take what you learned from what your mother didn't or didn't do,

Use it for yourself.

It's so healing.

Insight number seven.

Our expectations of motherhood are only fantasies we learn in stories we read in childhood and watched in movies.

At one time or another,

It seems that our friends have better mothers than we did.

However,

I learned that we all have the perfect mother for what we need to grow as individuals.

Everybody does,

With no exceptions.

Ultimately,

It's always up to us.

When we find that we have a difficult mother,

We just have harder lessons to learn and teach.

People with stronger bonds and challenging relationships are called to accept others just how they are,

Especially if they are our mothers,

Our first home,

And our precious,

Genuine physical and emotional connection.

Take the plunge.

Once we learn to accept our own mother,

Everyone else will be a piece of cake.

I hope you have enough insights to release your mother from the emotions of the past.

If not for her,

Do it for you.

We feel their feelings from the moment of conception.

We are eternally influenced by our mothers,

Even if we didn't grow up with them.

Their essence lives in our energy field in addition to our DNA.

Mothers are also companions in life after life.

Don't be afraid to release her.

Please,

Don't hold it back because your anger will lose meaning.

It may feel that you have carried this burden for too long,

And if you release her now,

What could you carry instead?

How about joy or freedom?

How about hope?

It will be a lighter load.

It's okay to lose your resentments.

It's okay to lose your reasons for resentment.

You have the right mother.

You always did.

Now embrace who she is and allow your old judgments to phase over time.

She is who she is or was.

As you do,

You will notice that her moods,

Distance,

Or memories no longer influence you.

It's like you can't see her from your soul perspective,

Infinite,

Pure,

And connected to you.

Let her wisdom be the catalyst for your freedom,

Acceptance,

And unconditional love.

It takes a strong character and a deep soul commitment to be the volcano of pain in a child's life when you are her mother.

It's not an easy assignment.

At least recognize the work of the soul.

Again,

Release the resentment.

It will not take long if you work through these seven insights.

Listen to them again.

Read your notes.

Answer the questions.

If you found this class,

It's because you are ready to begin.

Have a fantastic journey.

If you feel this has given you value,

Please share it with friends who complain about their mothers.

This is Ana Barreto signing off.