Hi,
It's Barbara.
I'm a certified health and life coach and welcome to part 7 in this series I'm doing about caregiving and caregivers.
By now,
I'm sure most of you know that I have personal experience caring for my late husband as he battled cancer.
I've said this before but I'm really thinking about it today.
I think about the list of things I had on my plate in the days,
You know,
I'm doing air quotes before I was a caregiver compared to the list of things on my plate after and sometimes I really can't believe it.
I can't believe I could stretch that far or that thin but I bet if you are tuning in you are stretching that far.
You are getting things done.
You are finding a way to keep putting one foot in front of the other and today the theme of this talk is to take a moment to acknowledge yourself.
This can be such a thankless experience,
One that many outsiders may not understand or appreciate.
You may even feel taken for granted sometimes and I wanted to suggest what I think is a bit of an antidote to that feeling.
A little something you can do each day to give yourself a small pat on the back.
My challenge to you is to find something each day that you do where you can feel proud of yourself.
Now this isn't something you're gonna brag about or tell others.
It's something just for you to acknowledge yourself.
As a small example,
I remember feeling a little bit of pride when I realized the effort it was taking at each and every doctor's appointment when they asked us to list my late husband's medications.
It was quite a list.
So as a small little thing I typed out the list of medications and had it printed out and I was able to hand it to the nurse when that question was inevitably asked.
And it's such a small thing but it gave me a boost.
It gave me a little feeling of pride that I was succeeding at this.
And looking back it doesn't seem like a big thing but back then it really made a difference in my day.
And the word pride is an interesting one and I'm wondering whether it gave anyone listening a negative reaction.
I was reading an article about that exact thing in Psychology Today and there's a PhD Thomas Scheff and he has a great quote,
Genuine pride does not goeth before the fall.
And he says that the English language particularly confuses authentic pride with what might be called false pride or egotism to the point that it taints the positive meaning of pride.
And the article goes on to detail the distinct differences between healthy pride and unhealthy pride.
And of course I'm talking today about the healthy kind.
And the kind of pride I'm talking about is finding some pleasure in accomplishing or handling things.
It's not about proving yourself to yourself or to anyone else.
It's really about growing your sense of self-worth by putting in the personal effort and energy and noticing the effect it's having.
I was speaking to someone the other day who said you know they felt a little discouraged because these days their partner only wants to eat bland food.
And cooking was something they'd previously enjoyed and where they had previously really expressed their creativity.
It struck me that perhaps there was a way to still find pleasure for them or a way for them to still take pride in their gift of creativity in how they serve the food.
Like creating a beautifully set table as an example.
I'm really trying to impress upon you about the small things that are in reach every day.
And I invite you to seek out something each day that you do and allow yourself to feel that burst of that healthy kind of pride.
Allow yourself that moment of self-acknowledgement.
What things do you know best in your situation?
Which thoughtful things are you doing that no one else thinks of?
Where do you go out of your way or where do you go that extra mile?
Thanks so much for listening.
