So tonight's conversation is going to be paying homage,
In a sense,
To the art of mindful living.
Living more intentionally and present in the moment in order to reduce stress,
Anxiety,
And essentially learning to focus our attention,
To open our attention into the present reality which as surprising as this may seem,
Few of us visit in a lifetime.
Our habitat is the now,
But few of us live here and now.
We are always living somewhere else,
Trying to get there.
We have made life about getting there.
I have been blessed to find early on in my life mindfulness in my late teens.
I was a miserable sod,
Product of war and born in Lebanon,
Raised there,
Became an ethnic in Australia,
The age of 12,
Immigrant,
Identity crisis,
Post-traumatic stress disorder,
Ethnicity issues.
I was a mess.
Fortunately I liked to read and when I was 16 and 17 I used to hang out in these dark corners of second-hand bookshops.
I loved the smell of books and I'd grab a title and sit somewhere and read.
Eventually I discovered meditation,
Mindfulness,
Life of presence,
Somewhere along the way,
And the work of people like Kelly Gibran,
Mantak Shia,
The great Daoist master.
And so my journey through books and through my own daily practice of meditation,
Morning,
Evening,
Sometimes lunchtime,
I worked.
Why?
Because I knew I was miserable and the call to action was convincing and compelling.
The value proposition that meditation offered was immediately convincing to me.
You didn't have to convince me.
Very quickly meditation began to chart an entirely different path for me and I practiced and it began to guide me on this journey of healing and recovery and making peace with the present and allow me to envision a more conscious future based on kindness,
Based on love.
Let's start by dispelling some of the more common myths.
There's probably no greater myth than this one,
That mindfulness is about stopping your thoughts or emptying your mind.
Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts without judgment.
It's not about emptying your mind,
It's about seeing the mind,
It's about detaching from your thoughts.
This myth more than any other myth has stopped more people from pursuing a daily mindfulness and meditation practice than any other.
Another myth is that mindfulness is only about meditation.
Is there a difference between meditation and mindfulness?
In a sense yes,
Because mindfulness is an ongoing thing that we can do in our living reality to be mindful.
You can also be meditative,
Whereas meditation is associated with a practice that we do.
Meditation is a practice that we do,
Perhaps in private or in a group,
But it's something that we sit in order to do,
Or stand if you prefer.
Because mindfulness extends beyond meditation into our living day,
Into the details,
Let's call it,
Or the minutes of our day-to-day.
It can be practiced during daily activity.
You could be washing the dishes,
For example,
And you could be mindful.
And we'll take a look and see what are the characteristics of this,
What does it mean to be mindful.
But first,
Let's just,
A couple more maybe,
Two or three more myths.
How about mindfulness is religious or spiritual?
To be mindful you have to be religious,
Or you have to be spiritual.
Mindfulness is like turning on the light on your day.
It has nothing to do with religion,
Whatever your understanding of religion,
Or spiritual.
There's nothing to do with that.
Mindfulness,
Living mindfully,
Simply means,
It's like imagine that you are living in the dark and you turn the light on your life.
That's what mindfulness is,
Turning your presence onto your current reality.
Now,
It can be secular,
And it can be accessible to all people,
People of all beliefs.
In fact,
Catholicism or Christianity has a mindfulness practice.
Buddhism has a mindfulness practice.
The Sufis in Islam have a mindfulness practice.
The Dogon tribe in Africa might probably have a mindfulness.
It's got nothing to do with religion or spirituality.
Mindfulness simply means you are present in the living reality of your activity.
Another one is mindfulness is a quick fix for all problems.
This one is a strange one for me,
This idea of it being a quick fix,
Because you know what?
It can be,
But it's not a quick fix.
It's an immediate fix.
Why?
The reason is simply this,
Because mindfulness takes us out of the mind and places us into the body,
And where do our problems exist?
All our problems are mind-based.
Thinking about a situation creates a problem.
The situation is not a problem.
It's the meaning that the mind applies to the situation.
Let's say you are in a partnership,
A relationship,
And you have a thought about someone,
Negative thought about something that they do.
Maybe let's say the way they chew their food,
Or the way they speak,
Whatever it is.
Or maybe they snore,
Right?
The situation doesn't have meaning until the mind gives it meaning,
An interpretation.
I wish you would not snore,
Or I wish you would,
Right?
There is a preference that you would do yourself differently.
And it is this that creates a problem,
But the situation is not a problem.
Therefore,
Mindfulness allows you to come out of the mind and into the body,
The sense reality of your being.
And in doing so,
Guess what happens?
You're out of the problem and into the resolution,
Into the reality.
You must always be relaxed during mindfulness.
This is a half-half here also.
Mindfulness brings on a state of relaxation,
That's true.
But there are times during mindfulness when anxiety is releasing,
Because relaxation,
What does relaxation do to the body?
Relaxation allows the body to release.
In other words,
Relaxation releases the resistance to reality.
And in releasing the resistance to reality,
The body starts to release its tensions and its anxieties.
As that happens,
The body can definitely feel very,
Very uncomfortable.
It's hardly relaxing,
But it's the state of relaxation that allows the body to release.
So if mindfulness is not about these myths,
What is mindfulness then?
Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally focusing or localizing your attention.
In the present moment,
Importantly,
Without judgment.
I'll repeat that.
So it's the practice of allowing your awareness to localize in the now.
You see the microphone,
You see the screen,
You see the phone,
You see the books,
You see the shapes of things,
You see your hand.
You're allowing awareness,
The light of your awareness,
To light up your hand.
In other words,
You're looking at your hand and you're seeing it.
You're coming out of the mind and into the being.
So it involves basically being aware.
Mindfulness is always characterized with presence,
With awareness.
And I think of awareness as a light.
It is a light that we allow into the present moment.
So that's the important thing that we have to remember about it.
It involves being aware of your thoughts and feelings,
Your bodily sensations in the present now.
Also the surrounding environment as it opens up before you.
For example,
Right now,
Wherever you are,
Wherever you're sitting,
You're listening to this and you are perhaps trying to type something,
You are whatever you're doing.
So right now you can start to notice these things without judging,
Without acting on them.
So you might have the thought,
I would like to make a comment.
You simply observe it,
You see it,
But you don't.
Or you might,
Let's say,
Feel irritated by something that it said.
You notice that irritation,
But you don't act on it.
Or you might notice that your back has a little pain in it because perhaps the way you are sitting,
But you don't change your posture.
You simply notice.
That's a very important feature about mindfulness,
About meditation,
About presence and the light of awareness.
Mindfulness and meditation is simply about cultivating awareness.
In other words,
Becoming increasingly aware of reality as it is,
Not as you want it to be.
Reality doesn't care what you want.
Only your mind cares.
Reality is already perfect.
Reality is already beautiful.
Your reality is already perfection also.
But because you are not present,
You cannot see the perfection.
Because you exist in your mind and your thoughts and your stories and your desires and your fears,
You do not see the perfection of now that the Enlightened Master speaks about and tries to inform you about and tries to point you to.
Mindfulness is about embracing the now.
It's about making peace with the now,
With an open heart and being non-reactive.
Without resistance.
That's a very important feature of mindfulness,
Being non-reactive.
So presence is perhaps the most fundamental element of mindfulness.
Presence,
Awareness.
Which is to say,
In practice,
Cultivating awareness as I described earlier.
Or I like to say,
To allow awareness to open up into the present moment.
So if you imagine a camera that you open the shutter or the aperture to allow more light.
Really it's something like that.
Mindfulness is the activity of allowing a greater light of divinity or the divine or awareness to enter into the now.
Without judgment.
Which means that without associating or reacting to the body and mind complex.
Another important feature of mindfulness is acceptance.
Which again is about embracing the experience of your current reality without judgment.
So there you are,
You're lying there,
Your partner is snoring or speaking in her sleep or his sleep or whatever.
But your mind is judging this and you notice that and the minute you notice that,
You embrace the being of you rather than the thinking of you.
Another thing is also compassion is associated with this and allowing kindness,
As I like to put it,
To be your attitude.
Not only towards others,
In this case your partner,
But especially to yourself.
You're lying there,
Someone is snoring and it's a difficult experience.
I mean,
You've got to be kind and gentle with yourself.
Don't punish your partner and certainly don't punish yourself.
Or gratitude.
Be your only attitude is the next one that I would like to bring into this conversation.
Gratitude is an important feature.
It's a quality of mindfulness.
It's also an extraordinary power,
A manifestation power that very few human beings put to use because they're so fixated on what is missing in their life.
As opposed to taking the time,
Willing the mind to consider and see what is available.
The light,
This microphone,
My hands that are in service of my reality every day.
Gratitude is another attitude to cultivate and mindfulness can do that.
Finally,
Probably the last one I would like to say about this is non-attachment is another attribute or characteristic or defining feature of this idea of mindfulness and this idea of being non-reactive,
This idea of being grateful,
This idea of being kind,
Non-attachment.
Just let things go.
Let it go.
Don't cling on to your thoughts.
Don't cling on to the story.
Now easier said than done,
Of course,
If you don't already have a mindfulness practice,
If you don't know how to distance from your thoughts and connect with the reality of the body,
If you don't know how to just observe and be aware of your observation,
To be aware of your awareness reality rather than your thinking reality.
So all this and more,
But all well and fine,
Okay.
But why should the individual,
If all the above that I have just spoken about is not a compelling reason for the individual to take up?
Because it's not the value proposition.
It's not like,
Say,
Going to the gym.
The value proposition is clear.
When it comes to mindfulness,
And this is the issue why it has taken this length of time for mindfulness or meditation to make it into the everyday life.
Because the value proposition has not been clear for people.
What do I get out of it?
Do any of you experience stress and anxiety in your daily life?
What about confusion and doubt,
Self-doubt?
Would you like mental clarity?
What about focus?
What about self-esteem,
Self-confidence?
Do you deal with emotional,
What about emotional turmoil?
Do you deal with that stuff?
Would you like emotional regulation and resilience,
To be resilient emotionally?
Not to take life personally.
You know,
Not to make the sun,
Just because it's a cloudy day,
To take it personal.
It's about you.
Everything that happens,
You're driving in your car and someone cuts you off,
Oh,
It's about me.
But the ego makes everything personal,
Makes everything personal.
So how about learning to be universal?
What about mindfulness helping you to strengthen your relationships,
Your empathy?
Would you like more inner peace?
How about cultivating a deep sense of inner peace,
Where you feel like you're standing on solid ground,
Nothing in life can move you?
It reminds me of the Saint San Francis of Assisi,
Standing on top of a mount,
Overlooking in a valley below and surrounded by his students or disciples or members of his congregation.
And one moment he looks into the valley below and with a sweep of his hand he says,
None of this can move me.
In other words,
The valley represents the world of things,
Of changing realities.
And all the things that we deal with,
The troubles and the relationships and the work and the money and the savings and all of that.
He said,
None of this can move me.
In other words,
He is stabilized in a certain reality of his being that nothing of the world can move him out of that inner peace.
Mindfulness is the skill of being aware,
The skill of being present,
The skill of being open,
Non-confrontational,
The skill of being non-reactionary.
It can also help us to minimize hardships in our lives.
The mind causes separation,
Duality.
Mindfulness allows us to come back into singularity.
It consolidates our diversive energies.
As we become more authentically ourselves,
We discover love to be our essential nature,
Not hatred.
War is a product of being separated from our essential nature.
So the cost of not being mindful is just too big.
Stress,
Anxiety,
Burnout,
Jealousy,
Envy,
Fear,
Resentments,
Failed relationships,
Trauma,
Post-traumatic stress disorder.
What about missed opportunities?
What about limited perspective?
Let's say you live in maybe Syria or in a less advantaged part of the world,
And you think that,
Oh,
You don't have as much opportunities.
As long as you have a connection with the inner divine,
Your inner power,
Do you think a geographical location can stop you?
And for that,
Of course,
It's important to set up morning,
Mindful morning rituals and to begin to live your life like a mindful art.
Have a morning routine,
Mindfulness,
Meditation.
Allow yourself to take daily mindful breaks at work,
Washing dishes.
You're putting your clothes on.
Instead of putting your clothes on while your mind is racing about what you're going to do,
Feel yourself putting your pants on.
You're standing under the shower.
Instead of just standing mindlessly thinking about all the things you have to do and poor me being a victim,
Feel the water cascading down on you.
Turn your life into a mindful art.
You're washing the dishes.
Enjoy the beauty.
You're sitting somewhere doing a talk,
And you've got the microphone in front of you.
Your hands are moving.
You can't see anybody.
You're just looking at the screen,
Your face.
You're just laughing at yourself.
And you're mindful.
You're noticing.
You're eating your mindful meal.
Slowly,
Watch yourself chew the food.
Don't let the mind have a say.
At some point,
You're going to have to take control over your thinking.
You're going to have to grab the bull by the horns and guide it.
Otherwise,
The mind is a most terrible,
Terrible enemy under your guidance.
Then it is a most remarkable power that can cause the universe,
That can cause the divine to usher into the now.
Many ways of being mindful,
Right?
Many ways.
You can walk mindfully.
Feel the ground touching your foot.
Sitting there,
You can feel the weight of you,
The being of you.
All these.
So these are in practice.
But you can also have self-compassion in life in general.
Have an understanding.
Let your mindfulness be based on the understanding.
Life is hard work.
You have to come out of your mind,
The momentum of the mind,
Into the no-mind.
Because ultimately,
That's what mindfulness is.
It's a journey from mind to no-mind.
And that's what a mindful morning routine can help you.
That's what taking mindfulness pauses in the day.
There is one particular practice.
It's called STOP.
S-T-O-P.
In the middle of whatever you do,
You're just STOP.
S-STOP.
Right now,
Stop what you're doing.
Stop what you're doing.
Take a deep breath.
T-S-T.
Take a deep breath.
A soft and deep breath and let fall.
That's T.
Now observe.
O-S-T-O.
Observe.
As your body is soft and breathing,
Just look around.
Observe.
Have a look at real things.
The wall,
The window,
The hinge on the window,
The button on the light,
The surfboard.
Just observe.
S-T-O.
Don't judge.
Don't analyze.
And then P.
Proceed.
Continue.
S-T-O-P.
Stop.
Take a breath.
Observe.
Proceed.
You could do this daily to interfere with the momentum of the unconscious.
Mindfulness is the antidote to unconsciousness.
Mindfulness is consciousness.
Mindfulness is the opposite of being on automatic.
You're walking the street.
Stop.
Nobody will notice.
Take a breath.
Observe people walking past.
Observe your being and the reality of the now.
And then proceed.
You have to intervene on your behalf.
Because if you don't intervene,
I can tell you exactly where your mind is going to take you,
Where you have always been.
The help is already here.
This is work that you have to do,
That you signed in by incarnating in the physical form.
And mindfulness is the way to help you do that.
My friends,
In conclusion,
Mindful living is just a practice.
It's a way of life.
It's a way of life that can profoundly transform every aspect and every area of your experience.
Mindfulness is an invitation to embrace each moment with open arms and a receptive heart,
Non-reactionary,
Centered in being.
Centered in being in the midst of change.
The world around you is up and down,
Left and right.
And you are centered in the midst of your being.
Nothing outside can move you out of your being,
Like Saint Francis of Assisi.
So,
My friends,
This is my call to action to you.
I encourage you to begin your mindfulness journey if you haven't begun already.
Who amongst you has a mindfulness routine?
Are you able to take daily pauses?
Some people say,
Well,
I don't have time.
You don't have time to take stop,
S-T-O-P?
How long is that going to take you?
10 seconds?
Or like the Zen saying,
If you don't have 20 minutes for meditation every day,
Then an hour will do.
If you don't have 20 minutes in your life,
In your day,
Then you really need to meditate.
So an hour for you,
Then you will have 20 minutes.
Because meditation,
Mindfulness buys you time.
It makes you more creative.
It makes you more productive.
It's an invitation to embrace each moment with open arms and a receptive heart.
So,
This is all I have for you today.
Thank you for joining me.
Wish you well.
