Hello,
And welcome to the Peacekeeper Project.
My name is Ben.
Today,
I want to talk about an important subject,
Misunderstanding.
It's something we all do at some point or many points.
It's a natural part of life.
So this is not about judging it as good,
Bad,
Right or wrong.
This is just about understanding misunderstandings and where that can take us sometimes because sometimes it's not a big deal.
Sometimes we laugh about it when we realize it,
But other times it leads to arguments and conflict.
Now,
Of course,
Misunderstandings are not the only cause of conflict,
But I feel like it is one that happens more than we realize.
Now,
This is also a topic that means a lot to me.
I feel strongly about because ever since I was young,
I was fascinated by how easily people misunderstand each other.
I would see these things happening between two people like a car accident happening in slow motion.
One person would say something,
The other person would react,
Say something back.
I would be thinking to myself,
But that's not what that person said.
Sometimes this conversation would diverge into two parallel conversations in two different directions.
Sometimes they would realize it,
Come back,
But then other times it would lead to arguments and conflict.
I realize that from a very young age.
I feel like this is an aspect to life that we could save ourself a lot of suffering,
Conflict,
Turmoil when we understand it and more importantly,
When we own it when we do it.
What I'm sharing with you here today is really to help you establish more connections within yourself because when we establish more connections between our mind,
Emotions,
Habits,
Behaviors and experiences,
Then we cultivate a greater self-awareness.
So let's explore this by using an example.
Now if you've had an experience like this,
Then recall it,
Recall the feelings of it.
Bring this example to life inside you.
So imagine someone says something and you get upset or you're offended by it.
You feel this emotion inside you.
You might get angry at the person and you might say something like,
How dare you say that?
Or you might get into an argument and explain to them why they are so wrong and why your opinion,
Your perspective is more right.
But this emotion inside you fuels your actions and your words.
But then this person tries to explain to you that that's not what they meant.
That was not their intention.
You see,
The things we say can often be interpreted in different ways.
So then they try to explain to you what they actually meant.
But then comes the challenging part.
Can you acknowledge their intentions?
Can you say something like,
Ah,
Yes,
Now I see what you mean.
I apologize.
I misunderstood you.
I thought you said something else.
I did get a bit heated there.
I got a bit emotional.
Can you own it like that?
Or do you continue to let your emotions fuel your reactions?
Do you continue to get angry and upset at them?
Do you take it too personally,
Even though you know that what they meant is different to how you took it?
Have your emotions got so much momentum that you can't stop it?
Now again,
This is not about right or wrong.
This is just about understanding our emotions,
Understanding what happens inside us during situations like this.
Because if we want more joy,
Happiness,
Connection in our life,
Then we need to understand our inner environment,
The environment of our emotions.
So in a situation like this where there is a misunderstanding,
Can you own the misunderstanding to help you let go of the emotion?
Because the act of owning the mistake helps us to let go of the emotional reaction.
So there's two sides to this equation of interactions between two people where there's a misunderstanding.
There is the person who misunderstands and there is the person who is misunderstood.
Now from that perspective,
Being misunderstood doesn't always feel very good.
Sometimes it can feel like being accused of a crime we didn't commit because we know clearly what we meant but then someone is accusing us of saying something else.
Now that doesn't feel good.
But in this realm of trying to understand each other,
To come together,
Having this understanding or appreciation that everyone is unique,
Everyone interprets things maybe slightly different to what we mean.
Now it doesn't always make it easy to be misunderstood but having this appreciation does help us to come together.
Now I'm talking about understanding a lot here because understanding is one of these magical things that really does help us come together.
And in a previous video,
I talked more about this,
This intimate connection between understanding and love.
If you haven't seen the video,
Then I'll leave links in the description below but I highly recommend that you check that one out.
So whichever side we're on,
When we're having an interaction with people,
It's great to have in our awareness just this understanding that there are different perspectives.
There are two perspectives.
There is the intention behind the words and then there is the interpretation of those same words.
Sometimes they match and sometimes they don't.
So if you are getting upset or offended by someone's words,
Can you hold your emotions while at the same time try to understand what they actually meant?
Now I'm not suggesting that you suppress your emotions,
Just that you feel them to the degree that you're able,
While at the same time trying to understand their intentions.
Now that's not always easy but you need to understand are you on the same wavelength?
Are you talking about the same thing?
Because if you're not,
Are you using it as an excuse to just express some underlying emotion or project it onto someone else?
Now as I said,
It's not that easy but it is something that we can strive for.
Now something that can make it a little easier is holding an attitude of curiosity because curiosity is like a spark of understanding.
When we're curious about something there's really this aliveness,
This wanting to understand,
To know something.
So if you can hold a sense of curiosity just in general it's helpful but especially in situations where we might misunderstand people.
So let me know in the comments below,
Was this video helpful?
Did it make sense?
Have you had experiences like this?
And if you did find this video helpful then please give it a like.
And if you'd like to be notified when I release new videos then you can hit that subscribe button.
Alright so I'm going to leave this here for now.
Thank you for being here.
I appreciate your presence.
Until the next time,
Quiet your mind and live from your heart.
