Let's inhale.
Let's exhale.
Inhale and exhale.
Welcome to a hit of hope,
And this is another salty one.
Ram Dass once said,
If you think you are enlightened,
Spend a week with your family.
Another version of this might be,
If you think you are enlightened,
Attend a Zoom meeting with your ex.
Not that I'm speaking from experience.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Whatever the case,
Family,
Friends,
Exes,
There are moments when it gets made crystal clear you can do all of this work.
You can notice your patterns,
You can get stronger and healthier inside,
And then blam!
The universe puts you in a situation with a splinter.
And what do you do?
Maybe you walk away.
Or maybe you take that splinter and shove it under your fucking nail.
Inhale.
Exhale.
It really doesn't matter who causes it.
What matters is what is going on inside of you.
Maybe you ended up saying something you regret.
Maybe you didn't say something and that's what you regret.
Maybe no one else had any idea what you were doing.
Maybe no one else had any idea what was going on in your head.
But there you were.
And the zombies of your past rose up and started feasting so heartily on your brain that gray bits were flying everywhere.
Inhale.
Exhale.
This can be so frustrating.
Because it often happens when you don't expect it.
Or you might think,
But I've worked so hard at moving past this.
Why did this happen?
And so then what do you do?
Chances are you might start throwing those second arrows at yourself.
So now you're not only hurting,
But you're pouring salt into those wounds.
So you say things to yourself like,
God,
That person is right.
You are fill in the blank.
Or you might think you've done all that work,
But you haven't changed and you never will change.
So why try?
Or you might poke your oldest wounds.
The ones that are quick to assure you that you are not worthy.
That you are not enough.
That no one could ever love you.
And then you ask,
Where is the nearest jar of peanut butter and tub of ice cream?
Inhale.
Exhale.
Those are certainly options that you can try.
You might also try giving yourself a little half smile and saying,
Oh,
Sweetie,
You were in that pattern for so long.
Your mind knows it.
Your body knows it.
Your heart knows it.
So why wouldn't you easily fall back into that way of being?
And the longer you were in that particular pattern,
The more ingrained it becomes in you.
The deeper the grooves,
The steeper the sides of the valley that you are trying to climb out of.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Notice.
Breathe.
And meet that wounded self who is doing the very best it can with kindness and gentleness.
You might even say,
Well,
That's over.
And then you can move on,
On your path,
On your way,
Into that amazing self who is there,
Ready to meet you as you begin again and begin again and begin again.
Namaste.
