I Believe A Lot Of Awakening Journeys Start With Feeling Lost And Not Fitting Into Society's Mold

Hello everyone,

I hope that you guys are doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My name is Boomshakha and I welcome you to my channel.

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In this one,

I wanted to kind of speak to you guys about I think one of the main preemptive strikes that's needed for an awakening process to begin.

Recently,

A friend of mine asked me,

You know,

Why do you think you changed from that lost unconscious being that you were in the past to where you are right now?

And even though I have a long way to go,

Obviously,

In terms of awakening and learning and growing and gaining wisdom,

I know that I'm not that unconscious being that I used to be in the past.

I know that I've learned a lot and grown a lot and moved forward a lot since that moment in time where I was in my teens,

In my 20s,

Etc.

I think it was just under the surface for me because,

You know,

There was a lot of moments even in my teens and even in my tweens,

Like when I was 10,

12,

13,

When I would look at myself and think to myself,

You know,

Is this really the life that I want to lead?

And I was just a child back then and I'd always be asking questions in any case.

But because I was a child and because it was easier,

I decided to follow the tenets laid by society and laid down by my parents.

And that was normal,

That's nice,

That's okay,

You know,

Because it's fine for you to do that as long as you are a child.

It's the way people live,

Right?

You can't just start being awakened or start living that kind of life right away.

Some people can,

But I wasn't able to.

I wasn't strong enough for that.

But I think the trigger for me was the feeling lost part.

And the feeling lost part happened because I got rejected from med school.

I've said this a billion times before to you guys,

I've told you guys.

I applied three times,

I got rejected three times.

And until that point in time,

I was happy to give up control of my future and my life to society and my parents.

So if they told me go to med school,

I was like,

All right,

Cool,

I guess that's what I'm going to do.

There's nothing else for me to do.

I wanted to become a writer,

But it wasn't something that seemed feasible or viable.

So I was like,

All right,

Fine,

I'll just do what my parents tell me to do.

They seem like intelligent people.

They are telling me what to do and they care about me,

So I'm just going to follow them.

And so I applied,

Didn't get accepted three times.

Obviously three times was the limit for me because I was like,

Well,

I think there's a lesson here.

I think I need to stop applying and find a different path.

At that point,

I think is when I kind of started switching over to really asking a lot more questions.

I spent a lot more time trying to figure out,

All right,

If I can't be a doctor and I really didn't have a plan B,

What else could I be?

And again,

I can't be a writer either because I want to be one,

But I'm afraid of it.

And so what's the middle ground,

Right?

And marketing seemed to come up as the middle ground.

So that's what I went into.

But even when I was doing marketing,

I felt very lost and I kept on asking the question over and over again.

What is my life purpose?

How am I supposed to give back to this planet?

Why am I here?

What is the point of my life?

Why did the universe put me here?

And so I would ask these questions over and over and over again in so many different formats.

I would journal about it.

I would ask other people about it.

I would ask books about it.

You know,

I'd read books about it.

And so I felt lost and I asked the questions and then I discovered or I started doing yoga,

Hot yoga.

And through hot yoga,

I discovered meditation and I think that was really the turning point for me.

The trigger was obviously feeling lost and not knowing what to do in my life and not feeling not feeling comfortable with the way society was set up and the way they asked me to do things.

I could have worked in a nine to five job,

But I wasn't comfortable with it.

I didn't like it.

I felt like I was wasting my time.

And so that combination of feeling lost and the combination of not wanting to follow the way everyone else was living their prescribed life,

I did not like the prescription.

It did not jive with me.

I felt uncomfortable with it.

I did not want to live that life.

And so asking the questions,

All that caused me to discover yoga.

And then through that meditation and as soon as I started meditating,

I think that was it.

Because I think that's it for most people.

As soon as you start meditating,

You realize that there is an illusion or the will or the maya that you are living in right now and that it's not it.

This is not it.

This physical realm we're in is not it and there's much,

Much,

Much,

Much more to it.

And you realize that and you start exploring that question because you realize,

Yes,

Yeah,

I have to live in the real world because it's the physical realm.

I have to,

You know,

Do something to make money.

I have to take care of my relationships.

I have to do all these physical things obviously.

But I also want to spend a majority of my time,

As much as possible,

Asking the questions and moving towards perhaps doing something that is going to make an impact on the planet in my own special,

Unique way.

And so that's what was the beginning for my awakening journey.

And when I was sitting with my friend,

Kind of going through it with her,

It was kind of interesting to me to realize that it wasn't really that,

Like it wasn't like a lightning bolt hit me and you know I'm like,

Oh wow I'm awakened all of a sudden.

It literally was a very slow,

Gradual process of awakening.

It literally happened over a long period of time,

20 years or so I would say,

Where little by little I learned a little bit more and I grew a little bit more and I learned a little bit more and I grew a little bit more and eventually same thing with meditation.

It wasn't like the first time I meditated was a lightning clap that hit my shoulders and my head and boom,

I'm like awakened.

It wasn't like that and I meditated in the beginning.

It was tough and I didn't like it.

I stopped,

I started,

I stopped,

I started,

Kept on going with it thankfully because I was so concerned about the way I was living my life and uncomfortable with it.

So I was like,

Well meditation might give me the answers.

So I kept on going with it,

Kept on going with it and then I kept on meditating and I think eventually after eight,

Ten years of it,

I was like all right yeah I think I'm here.

I think I realized some of the answers for myself,

Not for the entire universe,

Not for everyone on this planet for sure,

But I did realize some of the answers for myself.

Not all of the answers for myself again,

But a few answers and they made sense to me and they jive with me and they made my heart feel at peace.

They made me feel at peace.

They made me connect with my spirit more.

They made me connect with the universe more,

With God or the whatever you want to call that supreme being,

The divinity and it made me connect with my deeper spirit,

My deeper soul and with humanity in general,

Nature,

Mother nature,

Mother earth.

And so in general I started feeling like I wasn't as lost anymore and I think that's where I am right now in this moment in time is that I don't feel that feeling of being lost,

Of being in a chaotic space where I have no idea what's going on and I'm just a really trying to figure out my space and time and and this world.

And I like it.

I really like it because this is what I've been seeking.

Now of course this is not the end and that's what excites me is that this is just the beginning for me and for every one of us.

We're still figuring out the answers,

We're asking questions,

We're moving forward and for me this is a really exciting time to be alive.

Particularly obviously because I have a few of the answers and I'm working on them and it makes me feel good.

It doesn't make me feel as alone anymore because I know the universe and God is always around me and mother nature and I have all these interesting communities around me and my family is supportive of me and so in general I'm kind of moving in a direction where it feels really good to be alive.

It feels like I'm making an impact in my small way and it feels good and I want to keep on doing that.

I want to keep on writing,

I want to keep on writing my novels and creating videos and doing all that stuff little by little moving towards more and more learning,

More and more growth,

More and more wisdom and even more and more awakening.

Now I think I've done a video in the past where I don't really,

I don't think my end goal in this lifetime at least is enlightenment.

I think I have a lot more to learn and a lot more lifetimes to get there but I know that my friend said that her goal is enlightenment and I thought it was really fascinating to me that yes some people do have that as their goal and it's interesting and it's great to have that as a goal because even if you don't reach the stars you might end up among the clouds or among the sun or among you know that level so even if you don't get all the way to enlightenment you might get somewhere closer to it and that's great but I wanted to share this with you guys just to kind of give you a glimpse into how slow the process can be really as I said it took me 20,

I would say obviously 36 years because I'm alive,

I've been alive for 36 years but really from the time I started doing this process about 20 years and it was very slow and very tumultuous and chaotic and uncomfortable and at points I wanted to give up and even now sometimes I go through moments where I'm like what am I really doing with my life?

Is this really how I want to live my life?

Am I really a productive member of society etc.

But of course the past is quickly thankfully but this is how it is so if you are on this journey right now I know if you are on this journey you probably don't know that you're on the journey that's the the real essence of it is unless you actually get to a certain point where you're like oh right this is what it is this is my awakening journey you don't realize that you're on this journey and you just kind of fumble your way through it so I thought I'd share my own journey with you perhaps give you a little bit of an idea perhaps you can realize where you are on it and just to kind of you know talk about it it's just fun to talk about this journey we're all on it's just such a great time to be alive as I said I just love it so much and I'm so grateful to be able to share this journey with all of you hopefully to do this until I die until the end of time.

If you have any questions about this obviously comment below and I shall do a follow-up video this is obviously a very abstract topic to speak about so some of you might be like what is she talking about that's okay you might not be there yet or you're far far ahead of me and so you're like well that's just basics really and so that's okay that's all right I mean listen to it if it appeals to you if it doesn't then skip over to the next video more than happy to for you to do that if you want to support me further you can do that by going to my Ko-fi link it's linked in the description below and I shall see you guys next time around bye for now