Impermanence - What If This Is the Last Time You Meet This Person?
by Boom Shikha
Boom discusses the concept of impermanence, death, and how impermanence permeates all aspects of our lives. She also touches on the importance of understanding this concept if we are to live a life with foundational inner peace.
Transcript
Hello everyone!
I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.
My name is Boomshakah and I welcome you to my channel.
As always I'm so grateful that you're listening,
Subscribing and commenting.
I really appreciate the support.
In this one I actually wanted to speak to you about something that I've been thinking about more recently.
More than normal I would say.
I usually think about death a lot as you might imagine.
But reading the book,
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche,
Obviously it's bringing up a lot of things in my mind about death,
About the afterlife,
About what will happen when I'm gone and who's gonna take care of all the different things.
One of the things that is coming up for me right now is what's gonna happen to all my websites and all that stuff when I'm gone.
How is it gonna be maintained and is it just gonna disappear into the ether?
And it's kind of really interesting to have all these conscious thoughts about it right now rather than at my deathbed.
Which is the main point about the Tibetan Buddhism teachings about death is that you start thinking about your death right now not when you're about to die because you're not in the right state of mind to think about it then.
It's better if you start doing it right now when you're happy and you're cheerful and it's an easy thing to think about.
It doesn't affect you that much.
So you think about it now and it helps you when you're about to die.
Basically that's the idea of it.
But one of the things that I realized that was important for me is that it kind of really made me understand that and I mean this is a really important teaching of Buddhism.
It's a hard teaching but an important one about impermanence and the idea of impermanence has been kind of going round and round in circles in my mind as I start reading the book and I start thinking a lot about death on a daily basis because one of the things that I was kind of thinking about and I think I read this somewhere I'm not sure where really I read so many random things and they kind of stick into my mind sometimes and they just come out at random times so really I'm sorry if you know let me know but something like you know how do you know or how do you know that this is going to be the last time that you're gonna see that person or did you know that this is going to be the last time you saw that person or gonna see that person or did you know that this is gonna be the last time you're gonna do that thing or did you know that that was gonna be the last time you were gonna go to that place and you know of course this kind of comes up for me because I left Chiang Mai and I was extremely happy to leave Chiang Mai at that point because it was smoky and it was kind of getting to be a little bit irritating and I was angry at the whole situation because I was like stuck in my room all day long because there was so much smoke and I couldn't go anywhere and everyone else had left and it felt like I mean I was kind of becoming a little bit unappreciative of the beauty of Chiang Mai and so obviously God's like yeah go back to Toronto deal with Toronto and then you'll realize how much you loved how much you love Chiang Mai which is exactly what's happening right now but when I left Chiang Mai you know I was very happy and I didn't think twice I didn't look back twice even you know I didn't look back and say oh my god I miss I'm gonna miss Chiang Mai because I was so excited oh Tron is gonna be fun I'm gonna be there for a few months and then I mean back and it's gonna be better and that's gonna there's not gonna be any smoke in Chiang Mai anymore and by smoke I mean basically what happens is that in November December the farmers start burning all the fields it's a tradition there and basically because Chiang Mai is like in a valley like a like a bowl all of the smoke just kind of like sits there in Chiang Mai it doesn't dissipate it doesn't go anywhere and just it's so bad for your health like the AQI the air quality index goes to like 300 400 extremely hazardous for health and obviously all the Thai people are just roaming around without masks on whereas I'm walking around with like a really high-tech mask and thinking to myself how are these people still breathing this air is so bad anyways I mean they're used to it obviously and they maybe don't think about it also they're really poor so so then you know I didn't look back twice and I was like ah and now I think to myself you know is that the last time I'm gonna see Chiang Mai right I mean not even the fact that maybe I could die of COVID who knows if that will happen or not but the fact that you know who knows what's gonna happen in the future now of course I'm obviously a hypothesis right now I'm making a hypothetical situation right now and so you know but you never know what might happen and will I ever get to see Chiang Mai again you know is that the last time I saw Chiang Mai and is that how I saw it you know with anger and irritation this is not only with regards to Chiang Mai I've been thinking a lot about other situations in my life you know the last time I went to high school and I remember sitting in that bus so we used to take school buses to high school when I was in the Middle East and I remember sitting in that school bus ride coming back home on my last day of high school and oh my god I still remember the emotions that I was feeling the whole emotion of sadness and and loneliness and wanting and longing and wanting to go back and wanting to move forward and it was just so sweet and also bitter at the same time right bittersweet it was just like a perfect analogy to what I'm talking about right now and literally seriously if you can imagine I still if I can just close my eyes right now I'll still feel me sitting in that bumpy school bus remembering the fact that I I'm never gonna be able to go back to high school again because that was my last day of high school and in fact that was my from one of my few last days in the Middle East because soon after that we moved to Canada to Toronto there was a lot of bittersweet memories there and so I still remember very clearly sitting in that school business as I said you know a bumpy school bus sitting there in the back and feeling so emotional because that's the last time that's gonna happen I can never go back I can never go back to high school not that I want to now of course but in that moment I was like wow this is the last time so everything felt so real everything was so all the colors felt so clear and everything felt so I was looking at it so I was so present I was so present in that moment all of my friends were around me and you know I was looking at their faces trying to look at it so clearly so I could just kind of picture it in my mind I can still picture their faces right now yeah and I it was so clear right because I knew this is the last time I was gonna do it I think one of the things that Tibetan Buddhism the death teaching says a lot is to remember that to remember that this might be the last time you might take a breath to remember that this might be the last time you might see your parents to remember that this might be the last time you might see that particular pet that you have or that particular person or that particular situation to always remember that you know you never know when all of this is gonna end not only in terms of earth obviously but your own life right your theory you're not your eternal your soul is eternal but this life is not and it might end at any moment and this might be the last time you take a breath so make it a good one right like this might be the last time you might see your family so make sure that you're present with them this might be the last time you might see check my I tell myself and now I'm gonna whenever I go back I was like this might be the last time you might see it so really enjoy it really enjoy it because you might not get to go back or you might not get to see those people again you might not to get Noma you might not get to see those friends again you know I think I read also somewhere in the similar way in that you know you don't think when you're a child that that you know you think that you're gonna see your friends forever and ever and ever but then one day that was the last time you saw and played with them and then you moved on perhaps you move to a different country or do a different high school or something happened and you moved on and they moved on and that was the last time you played with your friends and so how do you know if this is the last time or not right you don't know no one knows right as the point is to remember that this could be the last time and that constant notion being in your head telling you this might be the last time will allow you to be a little bit more present with the situation because what we do we pretend like it's gonna be forever like I pretend that my parents are gonna be alive forever and so I don't have to spend time with them right I don't have to do anything with them because I am I'm telling myself this lie but the truth is that they are here for a limited amount of time I am here for a limited amount of time I might be gone before them and so what if this is the last time that we see each other how would you want to interact with that person if this is the last time you see them how would you want to interact with that place or city or country if that's the last time you see it how would you interact with that high school that situation that job that whatever if that's the last time you see it you know like if you kind of go in with that kind of thinking into every situation that are into every relationship you might be more present through it you might be more appreciative of it you might be less bitter or resentful of it perhaps right you might have different emotions based on it and so I really want to share this because you know I was as I said I was lying in bed last night and I remembered that moment when I was in that school bus and that's that ride home from my last day of high school and realized that that was the last time I'd see these people the last time I'd see my high school the last time I breathe these atoms of air you know the last time I'd do all of these things right on a school bus and all that and it felt obviously very sad and emotional but also I was so present I was so alive in that moment because I realized that it was the end of something also the beginning of something new obviously and I was really excited for the future but also the end of something beautiful and it was so strong that feeling that as I said even 20 years later or more I can still remember that feeling that ride so clearly as if I've ridden that school bus yesterday it's so clear in my mind and maybe you have moments like that in your own life you know where you knew that this is something that's gonna end soon and you were just sitting there so clearly watching everything kind of trying to take everything in because you didn't want to miss anything you you were so alive and aware and present because I was like oh my god it's gonna end soon let me just be really present so I don't miss anything right I don't know if you've had those moments in the past before if you have I would love if you'd share them with me or with us all of us in the comments below but I hope I've been able to explain myself to you this is really important this isn't a really important lesson in general from Tibetan Buddhism and about death because you don't know if this is gonna be the last time maybe this is the last time I'll do these videos right who knows right you don't know when you're going to be gone I don't know when I'm gonna be gone and so to really be present and really enjoy every moment and do the best you can put all your all into everything so that you can never have any regrets and even if you die right now you can be like yeah sure I did it all I was present and I have no regrets I hope this makes sense again thank you so much for listening for watching for subscribing for everything I'm really appreciative and I shall see you the next time around bye for now
4.6 (9)
Recent Reviews
Rebecca
December 3, 2020
This is probably the single most important concept to have helped me slow down and be present in my here and now, rather than continuously looking ahead and racing towards the future. There is a poem by Maria Eugenia Baz Ferreira that speaks directly to impermanence, and it made a huge impression on me in my hugh school (university) years - then took on an entirely new meaning as I read it often while serving in the military. It's essentially a toast to the world- the first line is, " To all that is brief and fragile, superficial and unstable..." and concludes with, "I toast in breakable glasses...." The "glasses" reminded me that glass is not actually a solid - it is an extremely thick, slow-moving liquid. Change naturally takes so long we do not observe it, yet glass is "solid" enough that it can shatter if handled improperly. I realized I take much for granted (solidity of glass) that is not actually a true reflection of how things are. Not only that, but the way I see things at any given time can be shattered unexpectedly and with no hint of warning. Later, when I married, the old advice to "Never go to bed angry with your spouse" meant much more to me that many newlyweds, I observed. I recognized that I couldn't always follow through with that specific advice, but I could (and do) always ask myself if this is the last memory I want to leave this person with, or for me to have of them. It's okay to remain angry, but be at peace with it, understand why, and if possible, let it go - at least enough to part on good terms (even if only in your own mind/spirit/heart) so you have no regrets. This is particularly true now in the time of COVID, as I heard that one of my favorite college (university) professors, whom I sat next to for hours on a plane traveling overseas for a philosophy and Classics month-long excursion, had passed away of COVID halfway across the country from where I presently reside. I had always figured I would see him again at a Homecoming event, or read something he had written in a newsletter or journal. But it was not to be. And while deeply saddened to hear of his passing, I was also content in that by then I had already began my awareness of impermanence and I was at peace with my last memory of our interaction, and fairly certain that my own general conduct and conversation would have been a positive last memory of me in his mind if he were ever to think of me. So for me, not only is it a personal awareness of the present and the beautiful fragility of it all, but also a greater self-awareness of how I may be perceived. I cannot control other's thoughts, but I can do the best I can, to my own standards and satisfaction, to ensure my legacy in the memory of others is as representative of me as a being (and preferably positive in nature) as I can make it. All I can do is live with right thinking and right action (channeling my inner Epictetus and Aristotle here) as outlined by the Stoics of ancient Greece. In doing so, I have found I can not only an fir the future with a clearer mind, but be more fully present and appreciative of the here and now, which includes my interactions with others. I may leave this world at any given time, or never return to this place after this moment. The same is true for them. So I attempt to drink in every vibrant color, every brilliant shade of Iight and shadow, savor the robust and delicate tastes and odors wafting by in infinite combinations, revel in the sublime touch of sunlight and breeze on my skin, and listen not only with the ears but also with the heart to the chorus of life and existence taking part in the spiral dance and cycle of life all around me. It is breathtaking in its awesome vastness and complex intimacy all at once. Over time, I gradually returned to my own poetry writing and photography to help others see the world as I do, or some approximation of it, at least. If they are ready for that, I am present with them. If they are not, perhaps my words and images may strike a deep resonant chord somewhere within them that will gradually swell to become heightened awareness of their own. I can show them the path, but I cannot walk it for them, and my own path is unique to me as well, unable to be precisely duplicated by anyone else in all of time and space. As the saying goes, you can only step into a river once. The next time you do, it will not be the same river, for the water is different, the riverbed may be different, and you yourself are different. Our souls may be eternal, and we may reincarnate or we may not. This is an uncertain thing. For me, I am certain now only of my present moment, each one of them, and though I make plans for the future, I have learned how to maintain a certain amount of detachment (enhanced greatly by my meditation practices) so that my future plans do not consume all of my present energy and thoughts. Impermanence is, in my life, one of the most powerful and life-altering realizations, and probably the one which has led to the greatest sense of peace and tranquility overall. Thank you for sharing your observations. I too often ask myself that "what if this is the last time" question. Far from being morbid or depressing, I find it empowering and an opportunity to evaluate my own way of being in this world, both for myself and in my relationships with others and the planet as a whole. Again, thank you for sharing with us here. I see you and the light within you. Be well. 🤲🏻❤🤲🏻
Suzanne
December 1, 2020
Love it Boom! This made me remember my last time was with a favorite tree..I loved this tree and everyday I would see it I would thank it for being there and express love from my heart. One day I stood under it and a leaf fell and I laughed thinking the tree was giving me a gift. The very next day a huge storm hit and that tree came down and was destroyed. I’m forever thankful for the trees last gift and being grateful for it while alive. Your sharing reminded me of the importance of doing just that everyday! Thank you!✨🙏❤️