You Carry Yourself Wherever You Go - You Can't Leave Behind The PAIN

Hello everyone,

I hope that you're doing amazing wherever you are in the world.

My nose is getting red,

It is cold outside,

Oh my goodness.

But it's so beautiful,

You know,

Fall as I've said,

It's such a beautiful time of the year and everything is red behind me as you can see,

I love that red color,

It's so vibrant.

In this one I wanted to speak to you about a very basic concept about healing,

I would say.

That a lot of people kind of miss because it's easier to miss obviously.

But it's a belief that people hold,

That I held for the longest time myself,

That if I am unhappy somewhere,

It's the fault of the place that I'm unhappy.

So if I leave the place and if I go somewhere else,

Then I'll be happier.

And I did that throughout my 20s where,

As you might know,

You've watched my videos,

You might know that I used to save up a bunch of money,

Not that much,

Usually 10,

000 at a time,

Quit my job and then go traveling for 9,

10 months around the world and then come back,

Get another job,

Start saving up again,

Save up for a few years,

Go do this again.

And I kind of did this for so many reasons,

But one of the main reasons was because I was unhappy in Toronto.

And I imagine that I was unhappy because of Toronto.

And I also started blaming,

You know,

I used to blame,

Oh it's because of the 9 to 5 job that I'm unhappy.

Partly it was true,

But not completely.

And then I started blaming my parents,

Oh it's because of my parents that I'm unhappy.

And very,

Very partly it was true,

Like a miniscule portion of it was true,

But mostly it wasn't.

It wasn't their fault,

It wasn't the city's fault,

It wasn't my job's fault,

It wasn't anything else.

It was me.

It was something to do with the fact that I didn't realize what my values were and I was kind of running after things that were not something that I wanted.

And all of that inauthenticity was creating friction within me and was causing me to be unhappy.

But my main solution to all of this,

Every single time I became unhappy,

Because you know I'd have moments of happiness and joy and then all of a sudden I'd be like,

Yeah,

I don't like it,

Alright let's go.

Let's go somewhere else.

Or let's move to a different country,

Or let's find a new boyfriend,

Or let's find a new job.

So always my solution was to go outwardly.

To be like,

Alright let me fix something on the outside and as soon as I fix that,

Everything's going to be perfect,

Everything's going to be fine,

Everything's going to be dandy,

I'm going to be back to being happy again.

And of course,

As you might know,

The moral of the story was that it wasn't all of those other things.

It wasn't the fact that Toronto made me unhappy,

Because now I come back to Toronto and I'm really happy here.

I've been here for seven months now and Toronto hasn't made me unhappy at all.

It wasn't Toronto's fault,

It was an inward thing,

It was an internal thing,

An internal friction that I was feeling that was causing me to be unhappy.

And I've said many times,

I am very happy in Chiang Mai,

But it doesn't necessarily mean that if I come back to Toronto that I'd be unhappy.

I come back to Toronto and I'm still happy,

I do miss Chiang Mai because it's my home now,

But I carry my happiness with me in my pocket or in my heart rather than having it associated with outside factors.

You might have noticed a trend in a lot of the videos I'm doing.

Maybe I'm in this phase of my life right now where I'm thinking about a lot of these things in hindsight.

But I also notice a lot of my friends doing these kind of things,

Who are younger than me,

Of course.

And I notice that they always have this idea inside of their minds that,

Oh,

I'm unhappy here,

So if I move somewhere else I'll be happier.

And then they move there and then they're not happier and then they're disappointed and they don't know what to do about it.

But instead of going inward again and asking,

Okay,

What's really going on here,

They're like,

All right,

If this place doesn't make me happy then let me move to another place.

Maybe that place will make me happy.

And then they move there and it doesn't make them happy.

And then the process keeps on continuing on and on.

And of course I'm sitting there thinking,

Okay,

I've been through this so I could give you some advice,

But will it really work?

Will it really be actually useful?

Doesn't it matter that you actually have to learn the lesson for yourself?

I've shared these videos many times before,

And I'm sure you'll be listening to these videos many times as well,

And you'll hear the words,

But unless you actually perhaps take the lesson yourself or learn the lesson yourself in your own life,

Maybe you won't actually even understand what I'm talking about.

And so maybe the whole point of this video is moot,

But I really still wanted to do it just to share my experience with the fact that it is not on the outside.

You're not unhappy because your job sucks.

Yeah,

Partly it is that.

Yes,

Of course.

Partly you're unhappy because your boss is a tyrant,

But it's also the fact that you are unhappy with yourself because you're not courageous enough to take the step towards your own dream and your own dream job because you're not courageous enough to leave the job that you just like to go find something else because you're not courageous enough to live the life that you want to live rather than the life that someone else wants you to live.

And a lot of different factors play into it.

I'm wearing gloves,

By the way,

Guys.

And so a lot of factors play into it.

It's not just the fact that your job sucks and that's why you're unhappy.

There's a lot of different things accumulating and that accumulation is causing you to be unhappy.

Right.

And so you can kind of pinpoint it and say,

Oh,

This one thing is making me unhappy.

And if I just change that one thing,

Everything's going to be perfect and I'm going to be awesome.

And life will finally make sense.

I'll finally be there.

Right.

And all of us have this idea or probably have had this idea when we were younger that if we could just fix that one thing,

Just that one thing,

Just that one little thing.

If I could just fix that one thing,

Everything would be perfect.

Maybe you've had that thought before.

I've had this thought many times before and my thought always kind of moved towards the city I was living in.

And now I realize it's not the city.

A lot of times when I was younger,

I also had the thought,

Oh,

Maybe if I just found the right person to be with,

Then my life would be perfect.

And then I would find a person,

Kind of the right person for the time,

But I was still not happy.

And so,

Like,

I think that the universe tries very hard to keep us in the right direction,

Like pointing us in the right direction.

So it keeps on pointing us towards the fact that,

Oh,

No,

That doesn't make you happy.

Maybe you should look inward.

And instead of looking inward,

We're like,

Well,

That didn't work.

Maybe I should try something else.

And then that doesn't work in the universe.

Like,

Well,

That didn't work.

Maybe you should try looking inward.

And you were like,

Well,

You know,

That didn't work.

So we keep on doing this until we're like,

All right,

I'm sick and tired of it.

I've tried.

I've changed everything in my life.

I've turned my life upside down and I'm still not happy.

Maybe I need to start looking inward.

Maybe there's something else that I need to look at.

I'm missing something here.

And so I'm sure you've heard of this quote before.

Many different people are probably said it in many different ways.

But something it goes something like you carry yourself with you wherever you go.

You carry yourself with you wherever you go.

And I feel like it's such a true statement because I really whenever I think,

Oh,

I should do this because I can escape the current situation.

No,

You're not going to escape it.

You're going to carry yourself with you wherever you go.

Like a shadow.

It's attached to you.

And so if you think that you moving from one place to another is going to change anything,

It's not going to change anything.

Yeah.

You if you think that you moving from one place to another or like giving up one person from here to there,

Getting a different job or throwing out all your clothes or getting a new wardrobe or any of that stuff,

If you think that's going to change anything and make you happier,

Maybe you'll get a momentary spike of happiness.

Even if that,

But then you'll be back to normal again and you'll be wondering,

But I made so many changes.

What happened?

I thought I'd be happier.

And it didn't work right.

I mean,

You're sitting there thinking,

Whoa,

OK,

What do I have to do here?

And the reminder,

If you're watching this video,

Is perhaps the reminder that you need that you carry yourself with you wherever you go.

So moving jobs,

Moving lives,

Moving boyfriends,

Moving homes,

Moving places,

Moving whatever.

You're still going to take yourself with you and all of your traumas,

All of your sadness,

All your depression,

All of your internal angst,

All of that stuff that you're carrying around with you.

You're going to take that with you wherever you go.

It's not that suddenly you move to Morocco and it's all disappeared.

That's that only works in the movies,

I think.

Or maybe not in the movies,

But in real life,

You carry yourself with you.

And so if you are imagining that suddenly you're going to be a different person,

You're probably not.

You're not going to be a different person.

And so look inward.

Figure it out from the inside out.

And the universe is probably going to give this lesson to you many,

Many,

Many,

Many,

Many times.

It definitely did for me.

I got this lesson so many times that look inward.

You're not looking inward.

This is where you do look inward.

And particularly right now as well with the coronavirus,

You know,

My inclination is to be like,

Well,

It's Toronto's fault.

If I was in Chiang Mai,

Everything would be better.

Maybe it would be slightly better because it'd be warmer.

But besides that,

It wouldn't be that much different because I'd be carrying myself with me wherever I go.

Right.

So I hope this makes sense.

I know it's a very simple,

Basic spiritual learning or lesson,

But I find that it's so useful to come back to this to these kind of spiritual basic lessons over and over again,

Because these are the basics that really change lives.

If you have questions about this video or any other video,

Comment below and I shall do a follow up video.

I'm so grateful to you for watching,

For subscribing,

For commenting.

I appreciate the support and I shall see you the next time around.

Bye for now.