The “I” Is The Eye | Jewish Meditation: Ayin, Parshat Vaera

The role of a spiritual teacher is to remind you of your essence and then to show you the way to awaken that essence.

In this episode of the Tour of Awakening Jewish Meditation podcast,

We'll look at an amazing verse which accomplishes both of these things from Parshat Vayera followed by a guided meditation based on the Hebrew letter Ayan.

I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter Brooks.

Enjoy.

Okay,

This is a verse we're going to be looking at in the Parshah Shemot 7-1.

Vayomer Adonai El Moshe.

Hashem said to Moses,

Re'ei,

See,

Netaticha Elohim lefaro.

I have made you a god to Pharaoh.

Ve'aharon achicha yiyeh neviyecha.

And Aaron your brother will be your prophet.

It's kind of a strange verse saying that Moses is going to be a god.

What does this mean?

The Talmud relates the following story.

Rabbi Yochanan was a great miracle worker and healer.

When he visited a sick person,

He would ask,

Are these afflictions dear to you?

If they would answer,

Neither they nor their reward,

Then he would take them by the hand and they would be instantly healed.

One day Rabbi Yochanan fell sick.

Rabbi Hanina went to visit him and asked,

Are these afflictions dear to you?

Answered Rabbi Yochanan,

Neither they nor their reward.

Just then,

As Rabbi Yochanan had done for so many others,

Rabbi Hanina offered his hand and healed Rabbi Yochanan.

The Rabbi Yochanan need Rabbi Hanina's help?

Let him heal himself.

It then answers its own question.

Ein chavush matir atzmo mi-beit ha-asorim.

A prisoner cannot release himself from prison.

Just as a prisoner needs someone else to open the jail cell from the outside,

So too a teacher can help us get free in the spiritual sense.

But once the cell is unlocked,

The prisoner still has to walk out on their own.

In the same way,

A teacher can unlock our inner prison by imparting knowledge,

But we still have to walk out of the prison ourselves.

How do we do that?

We do it by simply seeing our prison of thoughts and feelings.

Why is simply seeing the key to liberation?

Because the part of ourselves that sees is already free,

In a sense.

The part that sees was never stuck in the first place.

This is why the morning blessing says,

Baruch atah Hashem,

Elokeinu melech ha-olam,

Sheh lo asani aved.

Blessed are you,

Divine being,

Our own divinity,

Who has not made me a slave.

This blessing said every day is not merely to give thanks for not being a literal slave.

It's affirming that at the deepest level of our being,

The awareness behind all experience,

We are not trapped by any thought or feeling.

Ego is not all there is.

No matter how stuck we feel,

Our essential identity is still bigger than the stuck feeling,

Bigger than the patterns of thought and personal stories with which our consciousness tends to identify.

Our essential identity,

Beyond the me,

Is already free.

Of course,

When we're stuck,

We lose consciousness of this fact.

We call this being unconscious,

As Moses was complaining to Hashem at the burning bush.

Hein,

Behold,

Ani aral sifatayim,

I have sealed lips,

V'echi sh'ma elai paro,

How is Pharaoh going to listen to me?

But Hashem reassures Moses in an incredibly surprising way.

As we've seen,

Re'ei,

See,

Ne'taticha Elohim lefaro,

I have made you God to Pharaoh.

So,

Moses is God.

What does this mean?

But the key is in the first word,

Re'ei,

See.

That which sees,

The awareness that looks through your eyes,

Is the master over all the other elements of me.

It is the God within,

Your essential identity.

If you don't know that,

You identify with all those other elements,

With feelings,

With thoughts,

With memories,

With ideas,

All those strands that make up the web of the personality of Pharaoh.

But as soon as you hear the divine command to see,

As soon as you hear the divine command to see,

Meaning receive the teaching to be aware,

Then the exodus can begin and your essential identity can begin to awaken.

And this is because your awareness is not only the master over your own personality,

It is in fact much more than that.

V'adeber Elohim el-Moshe,

Elohim spoke to Moses by Yomer Elav and said to him,

Hani Adonai.

I am the Yod-Heh and Vav-Heh,

Which we could translate as reality,

As being,

Or as existence.

The first divine name here,

Elohim,

Means the divine personality.

It's the deity,

The character of God in the Bible.

The second name,

The unpronounceable Yod-Heh and Vav-Heh,

Is far more expansive.

The letters are a form of the verb to be,

Meaning being or existence itself,

Not a deity merely within existence.

The message here is that you're Ani,

Which means I,

Your I,

Your essential identity is not something separate from the rest of existence.

Your essential identity is existence waking up as you within yet beyond the me.

The awakening of your essential identity beyond your personality is actually something very simple.

And while it might take years of learning and practice for this awakening to stabilize,

It takes no time at all to shift into an awakened state,

That is,

To become present.

Over time,

This practice of simply seeing the fullness of this moment as it is leads to a shift in identity,

A shift into knowing yourself as the seeing,

And even deeper as being itself,

Seeing through your eyes.

This is the practice hinted by the letter Ayan.

Even the shape of the letter Ayan looks like,

A little bit like a face with its top being the two eyes.

And we can bring forth the spirit of this letter with a simple pose,

Bringing both hands to frame your eyes,

And let's chant the Kavanah,

I am seeing,

I am perceptive,

I am perception,

And our chant from the morning blessings Hama'avir She'na Me'enai.

This is a divine name.

The one who removes sleep from my eyes,

Utnu Ma Me'afapai,

And slumber from my eyelids.

A blessing on the literal level,

Giving thanks for waking up in the morning,

But on the deeper level,

It's an affirmation of awakening,

That this power to awaken is a gift given to us,

That we can actualize any moment we decide to simply witness what is here,

Not trying to change it.

And that's the,

That's the biggest,

Trickiest part of the whole thing.

Because we talk about awakening,

It seems like we're talking about some dramatic transformation,

And it is,

But it's affected not by trying to change something,

But by trying to see,

And by see doesn't mean visual necessarily.

It could mean visual,

But it's really on all the levels of the senses,

Sensing what is here in this moment.

The flow of the breath,

The feel of the room,

The sense and feeling in your body,

The emotional feeling tone in your belly,

In your chest.

What's the fullness of experience right now?

Not what you think is,

But what is presenting itself in this moment?

Ha'ma'avir shei'na me'enai,

Ut'nu'ma me'afapai.

Ha'ma'avir shei'na me'enai,

Ut'nu'ma me'afapai.

And preparing to come into meditation.

Being in a comfortable,

But alert position.

Bringing forth an attitude of generously offering your attention to the fullness of what is present on all levels.

Bringing your right hand to your heart,

And offering with l'chah,

A deep breath in,

L'chah,

And bringing your left hand to your belly.

Awareness flowing down from the mind into the body,

Filling your belly with consciousness,

Permeating your organs,

Bringing healing and gratitude.

Flowing down through your legs,

Down to your feet and toes,

And extending below that,

Down into the floor,

Down into the earth,

Feeling the connection and rootedness with the planet beneath us.

Awareness rising up from your belly,

Chest,

Shoulders,

And neck.

Flowing down arms and hands and fingers,

Connecting back with your heart and your belly,

Bringing attention more deeply into the flow of your breathing.

Awareness rising up,

Face,

Facial muscles,

Brain and nervous system,

Bringing a little smile to your lips.

Being that loving,

Benevolent,

Indwelling presence.

This sentience,

This consciousness in the vehicle and the temple of the body,

Na'aseh,

Deep breath in,

And bringing your right hand up from your heart to lightly touch your forehead.

Awareness shining out from the body into space,

Noticing the room around you,

The space,

The objects,

The sound vibrating in the air,

And noticing that your perception of the world around you,

As well as your awareness of the inner world,

Thoughts and feelings,

It's all arising in the one space that we call consciousness.

This field of consciousness has no boundary,

No shape,

No border,

Just a vast openness effortlessly taking the shape of whatever is perceived and received.

And you are this space,

Beyond thoughts,

Beyond feelings,

Beyond the body.

You are this openness,

V'nishma,

Deep breath in.

V'nishma,

Kissing your fingers,

Relaxing your hands,

Rabona shalom.

Help us to meditate deeply,

Powerfully,

Effectively.

Help us to drop into that spaciousness,

To feel ourselves as that spaciousness,

As we rest the mind in the tefillah.

Atahu,

Atahu.

You who are not separate from anything or anyone that we encounter,

You who are not separate from this awareness we are,

Atahu,

You are Hashem,

You are divine,

You are reality,

You are being,

You are existence.

Atahu.

Resting the mind now in the silent repetition,

Atahu,

Atiahu.

Thoughts will come,

Thoughts will arise,

Let them come.

Not to struggle with them,

Just to notice them.

Let them come,

Let them go.

Returning the mind again and again,

Atahu,

Atahu,

As we come into silent meditation.

Coming back from the stillness,

Bringing some movement into the body,

Taking a nice stretch.

May this quality of simply seeing,

Of being the presence that is aware of what is arising in experience,

Without grasping onto,

Trying to control,

Identifying with,

Making a problem out of what is arising in experience.

May this ability be strong and available to us moment to moment,

This quality of the ayin,

Of simply seeing.

Oseh shalom bimromav,

Hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu.

Ve'al ko Yisrael,

Ve'al ko Yoshvei tevel,

Ve'imru.

Amen.

Shalom.

I hope you've enjoyed this Torah of Awakening.

I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter Brooks.

Until next time,

All blessings.