Hi,
This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments,
A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.
I had bittersweet tears.
Angie and I held on to each other and I could tell it was harder for me than it was for her.
I had a lifetime of memories invested in this place.
Not this house,
But this area,
These people.
I knew the roads backward and forward.
I had a favorite ice cream shop,
A favorite bakery,
And we were only a hop skipping a jump to the beach.
I had spent many afternoons surfing and relishing God's great ocean.
However,
I was most sad for the friends and family I was leaving.
These were my people,
My tribe.
I loved and laughed and had the best experiences of my life with these people.
So even though I had a pull,
A draw to go elsewhere to leave them behind,
A part of me didn't want to go.
I was excited for the next chapter,
But I grieved the one I was leaving behind.
The sadness lived with me for a little while.
It was tempered by the excitement of the road and the prospect of fresh adventures.
Angie and I were moving 17 hours away,
Taking a car to Miami,
Florida.
The tropical climate,
Vegetation,
Bright sun,
And white sands were like a storybook.
Before moving there,
I'd never visited,
So it was pure bliss that first day,
Swimming in the ocean in those bright blue waters.
That first move away from our hometown was just the start of what for us became common.
Angie and I went through a season of moving every year or two for the next 15 years.
We counted about 15 moves in those years,
And with each move,
Leaving got easier and easier.
It's pretty safe to say that Angie has wanderlust.
She is always eager for a fresh start.
And there's something intoxicating about starting over and going somewhere new.
And we lived it for quite some time.
Oddly enough,
I didn't realize until years later how hurtful that lifestyle was.
Here's what I mean.
When we were living on the West Coast,
Angie and I had some really good friends who we spent considerable time with and grew to know and love.
Cookouts,
Game nights,
Trips out with our dogs,
Just sitting around sharing stories.
It brought us closer and closer together.
But as with many of these things,
That enjoyable season came to a close when we learned our dear friends were moving away.
At that point in my life,
I can't say that any of my close friends had ever moved away from me.
I had always been the one to move.
But now the script had been flipped,
As they say.
And when I got the news,
I was slightly puzzled at the emotions I was having,
Because it hurt.
Being left hurts.
It wasn't personal at all,
But it felt that way.
The epiphany I had in that moment was that this was the feeling our friends and family had felt these past years when we had left them over and over.
And interestingly enough,
I consistently took offense when those people weren't supportive and excited for our next adventure.
Now I realized the depth of the pain they had felt.
I sat for a while in these emotions and made up my mind.
The best thing to do with these dear friends moving away was to congratulate them on their next adventure and be excited in the midst of my own pain,
Because I knew how it felt to be on the other side,
To be the one leaving and not to feel support.
I've carried this attitude into my career,
As I've counseled students looking to switch majors or go to other schools or focus on endeavors outside of my field of expertise.
It doesn't serve them well for me to berate them for leaving.
But what I've seen make a difference is when I encourage them to pursue what is right for them.
And maybe that is a new place at this point in their lives.
As a result,
Those people that have left me have often come back for encouragement or recommendations or advice.
I think they may have felt that I wouldn't pass judgment on their quote,
Indecisiveness.
I'd like to think that they realized I cared and was truly hopeful that they would find success in their new place or venture.
So how about you?
Do you find yourself being left by friends or family who are moving off to quote bigger and better things?
Does it hurt deeply as if it's personal when it really isn't?
If so,
Maybe you could practice encouraging them and being excited for them in their new adventure because for them,
They've decided this move is best at this time in their lives.
And maybe by encouraging them,
You'll find the freedom and peace you deserve.
