Metta

I want you to think about someone in your life that you feel upset with,

Someone that you feel has done you wrong,

And we're gonna make them a focus of our practice.

So you can take a few moments to just like let that digest.

Of course you never have to believe anything I say,

But if you really think about it,

It can start to make sense.

Maybe some of the people in your life.

And then set yourself up so that you're gonna be warm and that you can elevate your chest.

So I have two.

I And move to your mat.

And set yourself up however that might look.

All I'm thinking is chest is elevated and open,

And then as you lie down maybe you want to put something under your head.

Or maybe you have a pillow large enough to lift both your chest and your head.

And then settle yourself in,

Taking a few breaths in and out.

Feeling the ground below you.

And I'll start by reading some words by Mark Nepo.

Today is titled,

Folding in the Belly.

The inward battle against our mind,

Our wounds,

And the residues of the past,

Is more terrifying and more terrible than the outward battle.

Swami Sivananda.

I saw a sea otter rolling in the bay.

It held a crab or a small turtle against his belly,

And on its back it would eat a piece,

Then press the crab or turtle into its belly and turn over and swim some more.

This stayed with me for days until I realized that I've been living like this otter,

Holding the uneaten part of my shell to my belly as I roll through the deep,

And of course,

It is impossible to swim freely while holding dead shelled things so tightly.

Indeed,

Trying to move on and eat the past at the same time is the cause of many ulcers.

Realizing this made me stop and face the sadness of old wounds that I was holding tightly in my belly.

It made me understand yet again that while we try to integrate inner and outer experience,

While we aspire to such a oneness,

The work is often one at a time.

Facing ourselves without going anywhere,

Not nibbling at the ailing soul on the run.

Mark Nepo never disappoints.

So the idea here is to recognize that this person that you are thinking of is here for a reason.

And that reason isn't just to like upset you or hurt you.

But more as a teacher.

And the focus isn't to figure that out right now.

A meta practice is called a loving kindness practice.

Because Buddha says that being angry is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

You can see how that toxic.

And I'm hoping that maybe some time spent journaling or reflecting post practice might help you to come up with an answer of why this person is so prevalent in your life or has been.

But right now,

The practice is to actually send loving kindness to this person.

So we'll start slow.

Because we want to develop loving kindness first.

And that doesn't usually help by thinking of someone that really upsets us.

So I actually want you to do the opposite.

And I want you to bring to mind someone that you love very,

Very much.

And that someone could also be like a thing that could be an animal.

It doesn't have to be someone that's alive,

They could be departed,

Like just someone,

When you think of them,

You smile,

Like you love them.

And I want you to imagine them like in front of your face.

I want you to feel the love in your heart.

And I want you to repeat,

May you be happy,

May you be well,

May you be free from suffering.

And that's it.

Think of this person,

Create this,

Just really feel and create this sensation of love in your heart and repeat,

May you be happy,

May you be well,

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy,

May you be well,

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

Seeing this person or animal or whatever it is,

Seeing it in front of you like in your mind's eye.

Wishing them well.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

Really creating a sensation of love,

Openness,

Happiness,

Just like seeing my granddaughter's face.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

And I want you to keep this person like close at hand.

So that if at any time you start to lose this loving kindness,

You can think of them refill your heart.

And I want you to switch from thinking of this person you love to thinking about yourself.

And I want you to send yourself some of this love and well wishes.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

Send yourself some love.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

And yourself love.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

Sending yourself well wishes.

Know that it is next to impossible to care for others.

If you are not necessarily caring for yourself.

It's hard to care for others if you are running on an empty tank.

And I would say many,

Many people have been caring for many,

Many other people on an empty tank.

And that experience eventually becomes burnout.

Depression of the nervous system.

And this is a time in a moment to really like take some space for yourself to fill up to note that running on empty and continuing to care for others can make us grumpy,

Hurt to make us lash out.

Like we can be the villain in people's stories when we aren't taking care of ourselves.

So just a few more May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

May I be happy.

May I be well.

May I be free from suffering.

Remember the person that you love so much.

Let's bring them back into your awareness,

Hopefully bringing a smile back to your face.

And now I want you to think of someone that's either like neutral or someone that you might be like slightly annoyed with.

Nothing too major.

Bring them to mind and then send them some love.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

Sending loving kindness.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

I want you to let go of this person.

Let them float off with well wishes.

Again,

Think about the person that you love so much bringing a smile back to your face,

Filling your heart back up with love.

And I want you to think of someone that you feel upset with.

Bring to mind someone that you have like a negative feeling towards could be someone who's wronged you and you can choose this level.

This could be like a massive wrong that's been done.

This could be just less upsetting,

You get to choose the depth.

This isn't about like that person being right.

Or even putting this on you as like,

Yeah,

I asked for it as a lesson.

This is really about the idea of like,

Holding on to negative feelings weighs you down more than releasing them.

So imagine this person and send them well wishes.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

This connects to the idea that like hurt people hurt people is connects to a big concept that most of the time things aren't personal.

If someone can do wrong or hurt someone else.

It usually doesn't even have to do with you.

Again,

Based on the idea of stories in our head.

If someone believes themselves to be like unworthy,

Or not good enough.

Sometimes those storylines become hurting other people.

Sometimes it's like a defense mechanism to not let people in.

We don't need to understand why someone else does something.

So it's really just about letting go of your anger,

Your upset,

You know,

Kind of like vomiting up the poison and maybe even sending it back like may you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be free from suffering.

Because if that person is maybe there won't be as much hurt.

This isn't about forgiveness.

It's just about releasing our own anger,

Our own hurt,

Our own upset.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

And may you be free from suffering.

To send well wishes to this person.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

And may you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

You know,

I have in so many times in my life coached people through a lot of hurt and upset.

There's a lot of people that hold a lot of negative feelings towards such people as exes.

And the opposite of love is not hate.

The opposite of love is apathy.

And so if there's still a lot of anger and a lot of upset or what someone would call hate,

That is still a connection to that person that's still a lot of emotion.

It's not the opposite of love.

It's still connected to love.

So may you be happy.

May you be well and may you be free from suffering.

I even see myself sometimes connected to that person through like energetic cords.

This is a great time to sever those ties.

To let them go.

To not stay connected through anger,

Through hurt,

Through upset.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

I want to just give you some time and some space of quiet to reflect on whatever you need.

You can continue to repeat the affirmations.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

Or allow whatever needs to come up to come up,

To come out.

Right now as I think of the person I'm thinking of,

I feel like so much hurt in my heart.

And I'm just imagining it like leaving.

Almost like energy.

Just leaving my heart.

I'm releasing it.

I don't want to hold on to it anymore.

I know that while it's me that is the focus,

That it's really not about me.

Because I've supported this person so much that it's always somebody.

So I've just taken the place of whatever random to direct their hurt and aggression.

And I just don't want to take it personally.

So may you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

I'm not taking this.

It's one of the agreements to not take things personally.

And if I really sit back and I really look at the history of this person,

It would be crazy for me to take it personally.

Because they're always attacking somebody.

They're always upset.

There's always.

.

.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

And may you be free from suffering.

And in this moment,

I can see how it also just attaches to my story of being unlovable.

And it's a story that's not true.

So while you can be happy,

You can be free from suffering,

You can be well,

I'm also.

.

.

I am lovable.

I am lovable.

I am lovable.

I am lovable and it's not okay that I'm treated that way.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be well.

May you be free from suffering.

Come back to your breath.

Letting go of this person off into the ethers.

Bring back to mind this person you love.

Fill your heart with love.

And then feel free to adjust yourself.

So that you move a little bit.

And can find some comfort for Shavasana.

Though you may not know it or view it as work based on old school ideas of working hard.

What you just did was a lot of work.

And Shavasana is at the end of every yoga practice.

It's known as corpse pose.

It signifies the death of so many things.

First of all,

Like our own death,

Which is eventual.

It signifies the death of the practice.

And just by doing this practice,

You are literally not the same person that you were when you arrived this morning.

So it's the death of that part of you.

The death of all that came up that you let go.

And it's also time for restoration and healing.

While you may not realize how much work you just did,

It was a lot.

Allow yourself to restore.

To heal.

To be proud of yourself.

I think it can be hard to send love to somebody that you're upset with.

In my head,

Sometimes I'm like,

May you be happy,

You asshole.

May you be well,

You jerk.

May you be free from suffering.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning,

A new arrival.

A joy.

A depression.

A meanness.

Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all.

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.

Still,

Treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought.

The shame.

The malice.

Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Roomie.

Start to wiggle your fingers.

And your toes.

Turn your head from side to side.

Pull your knees up into your chest.

Hug them in.

Roll from side to side.

Eventually rolling onto one side if you're not there already.

Take a breath.

Use the strength of one of your hands to bring yourself all the way up to seated.

Option to keep your eyes heavy.

When you get here,

Roll your shoulders down your spine.

Rest your hands on your knees or your thighs and take a long,

Slow,

Deep breath in.

Let it out with a sigh.

Let's do that two more times.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Return to your normal breath.

Option to bring both of your hands together at the center of your chest and bow your head.

Thank you so much for allowing me to guide you through your practice today.

From my heart to yours.

Namaste.

Namaste.