Introduction To Mindfulness Of Emotions

Welcome to Community Mindfulness Project's introduction to mindfulness of emotions.

This is a discussion of what the mindfulness of emotions practice is,

Why we do it,

And how we do it.

And we invite you to listen to our guided mindfulness of emotions meditations,

Which are available on Insight Timer and on our website,

Communitymindfulnessproject.

Org.

Before we start talking about mindfulness of emotions,

Let's take a moment to dip very briefly into the practice.

So allowing your eyelids to slide down over your eyes if that's comfortable for you.

And just checking in to notice if there are any emotions present for you in this moment.

These emotions might be comfortable,

Uncomfortable,

Or neutral.

Sometimes they're like bashful maidens,

Shy about revealing themselves when we turn our attention towards them.

So pausing to allow for time to sense them.

Sort of like sitting on a rock up on a rise in the woods,

And as we sit,

The sounds and the sights and the little details become more discernible.

So pausing now to allow our emotional life to reveal itself.

If there's an emotion that's present for you now in this moment,

Just pausing and noticing where in the body that emotion is felt.

And inviting you now to open your eyes again.

So mindfulness is paying attention in the present moment to an object of our choosing with curiosity and kindness.

This definition comes from John Cabotson,

And I love it.

I think it's really a beautiful description of what mindfulness is.

Sometimes the object of our attention serves primarily to anchor us in the present moment as we train our mind to attend to what we want it to attend to for a sustained period of time.

And I think of those objects of our attention as being the breath,

For example,

Or the sounds within us and around us.

Sometimes the object of our attention can also offer us information and insights about our moment to moment experience.

And that can be the sensations that we identify in the body when we do a body scan meditation,

For example.

And I also put emotions in this bucket.

When we use emotions as our object of attention,

It's helpful to understand some of their characteristics.

For instance,

Emotions are fleeting and temporary.

They typically last just seconds to about a minute or a minute and a half.

And I think there's one great example that can help us really feel the fleeting nature of emotions and remind ourselves of the fleeting nature of emotions,

Which is that in Spanish there are two verbs for the word to be.

One is ser and that describes a more physical or sorry,

A more permanent attribute.

And the other is a star.

And that is used to describe temporary states of being like the weather.

And that's the verb form.

That's the verb that's used to describe emotions.

And I love that.

I wish that we had that sort of differentiation in our language in the English language.

So emotions feel long lasting,

But they're not really.

And so while you can't control the waves,

You can learn to surf.

And if we can think of emotions as being temporary states and really feel their shape as being waves,

We can be more open to them and be present for them more.

So they feel very solid,

But they're not.

They're often felt in the body.

So sadness or heartache,

Broken heartedness,

We might feel like we need breathing room when we're afraid.

Something can be gut wrenching,

For example.

So we have a lot of language around how emotions are felt in the body.

I sometimes like to think of emotions as being the language of the body.

Another thing to note about emotions is that we can classify them as uncomfortable,

Comfortable or neutral versus positive,

Negative or neutral.

And really,

Most of our emotional experience is very neutral.

And that's a key point.

When our emotions are uncomfortable,

We tend to want to avoid them.

So what do you do,

For example,

When you feel yourself starting to cry?

Do you let yourself be with that sensation or do you fight it?

And comfortable emotions we tend to want to cling to.

And this may even produce a subtle underlying feel,

Fear that this feeling may not last,

That the joy may pass.

And then what?

So becoming aware of the layers of our emotions that we may experience can be really interesting and noticing when we're trying to push them away or when we're trying to grab onto them and hold them.

So by using emotions as the object of our attention,

We can learn from experience that emotions are fleeting and that one follows another.

We learn that much of the time we're in a neutral emotional state and that that neutral state can feel very peaceful.

We can learn to ride the waves and trust that we won't fall apart if we are open to uncomfortable emotions.

And we learn that it doesn't do any good to grasp onto our comfortable emotions.

We can create space for all of our emotional experiences,

Allowing them all to arise and then to fall away.

We can even witness how we can hold seemingly conflicting emotions at the same time.

For instance,

We can experience a deep sadness.

This happened to me a while back.

I was really sad about something and I was out walking my dog and I noticed the way the sun was casting a beautiful shadow on the side of a building.

And I was stunned to be aware that I could hold both the sadness and the wonder at the same time.

And this was really a this-too moment for me as opposed to a me-too moment,

As I thought I can hold this too.

So this allowing in of uncomfortable emotions can be very challenging.

But as we play with them and experiment with experiencing them,

We begin to be able to trust that uncomfortable emotions will pass.

And in this sense,

We're witnessing evidence of the impermanence that characterizes all of the phenomena in our life.

Thoughts have beginnings,

Middles,

And ends.

Sounds have beginnings,

Middles,

And ends.

Events have beginnings,

Middles,

And ends.

And our own selves,

Of course,

Have beginnings,

Middles,

And ends.

And as we really begin to feel this in our lived experience moment to moment,

We begin to build a sense of resilience and capacity.

And we move to a place of empowerment and equanimity.

When we stop holding our uncomfortable emotions at bay,

Trusting in our ability to hold them and allow them to move through us,

And when we stop clinging in vain to the comfortable emotions,

We know that serenity is the very potential of every moment.

So in a formal practice,

We can silently,

While we're sitting,

Welcome the emotions that we become aware of as we're sitting.

We can maybe also offer a silent acknowledgement.

So this is what anxiety feels like in the body.

So this is what joy feels like in the body,

Honoring and acknowledging our experience in the moment without judgment.

We can learn to lean in and turn towards,

And then step back,

And then lean in again,

And turn towards again,

And step back again from our emotional experience.

On an informal practice level,

This can include using language like,

In this moment,

I'm feeling sad,

Or I'm feeling happy right now,

Versus I am sad,

Or I am happy.

Lastly,

I just want to talk a little bit about our mirror neurons.

So these were discovered in the 80s and the 90s,

Mostly through work with primates.

But now we're able to understand more because of functional MRI technology that allows us to see the brain activity of humans.

We now understand that our mirror neurons act broadly on a networked basis in the brain.

And what they do is they pick up on the emotions that we believe others are feeling in the moment.

And it's a largely subconscious activity.

And then we also subconsciously emulate that same emotion.

And this can be important to understand for two reasons.

When we're in the company of others and we are aware of our own emotions,

We can sometimes discern a shift in our emotional state.

And we may want to check in to see if perhaps we're picking up on the emotions that we believe someone else is feeling.

And this may give us an opportunity to respond with compassion or empathy or to gain some insight into that person's behavior and experience in the moment.

Secondly,

If we're experiencing a particularly strong emotion,

Others around us may be picking up on that emotion,

Whether we're intentionally sharing it with them or not.

For example,

If I'm anxious about my teenage son's preference for playing video games instead of doing his homework,

That anxiety can transmit to him.

And maybe it's a piling on to some anxiety that he's already feeling.

So it may be helpful for me to be aware of my emotional state when I'm interacting with him so I can understand how my emotional state might be affecting his.

So I'd love to leave you just with one of my favorite poems that is beautiful as a tool for evoking emotion.

And this is called Phillips Birthday and it's by Mary Oliver.

I gave to a friend that I care for deeply something that I loved.

It was only a small,

Extremely shapely bone that came from the ear of a whale and it hurt a little to give it away.

The next morning I went out,

As usual at sunrise,

And there in the harbor was a swan.

I don't know what he or she was doing there,

But the beauty of it was a gift.

Do you see what I mean?

You give and you are given.

So we hope that this discussion has been helpful and we invite you to listen to Community Mindfulness Project's guided meditations on Insight Timer and on our website,

Communitymindfulnessproject.

Org.

And we would love to hear from you with any questions,

Comments,

Or experiences that you'd like to share.

You can email us at welcome at communitymind.

Org.

May all beings everywhere,

Without exception,

Feel the rich texture of their emotional life.

Take care.