Welcome to this self-compassion practice.
You can use this four-stage practice anytime you feel triggered,
Upset,
Angry,
Hurt,
Depressed or are struggling with any other difficult emotions.
This is especially important if you have a trauma history,
But the practice is helpful for anyone who is struggling and needs to feel a bit calmer or who needs to feel a little kinder and more compassionate to themselves.
Before we begin,
Please switch off any electronic devices and make sure you won't be disturbed.
Intentionally set aside this time for yourself to nourish and restore every part of your mind,
Brain,
Nervous system and body.
Sit comfortably on a cushion or straight back chair.
In the first stage,
We start by focusing on your posture.
When we are in a high energy state like feeling stressed or anxious,
The muscles tense up and we can hold ourselves tightly,
Especially in the upper back,
Neck and shoulders.
In low energy states like feeling sad or depressed,
We can be a bit slumpy,
Head and shoulders going forwards and down.
So we start by gently rolling your shoulders back and opening up the chest,
Assuming an upright but relaxed posture,
Imagining an invisible string attached to the top of your head and pulling your head,
Neck and spine into alignment.
Let your feet be flat on the floor,
Feeling grounded and connected to the earth.
See if you can notice the difference.
The feelings might be very subtle but you may feel a little stronger,
A bit more awake and alert.
You may even notice a slight uplift in your energy level and mood.
In the second stage,
We shift our breathing into a compassionate breathing rhythm.
Close your eyes and let your breath start to slow down.
Take deep,
Slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Your breath should be 4 seconds in,
4 seconds out.
So try counting the breaths.
In for 1,
2,
3,
4,
Then out for 1,
2,
3,
4.
Keep breathing,
Allowing your breath to be slow,
Deep and as steady as possible.
We also want some nice abdominal breathing.
So imagine that your abdomen is like a balloon,
Inflating on the in-breath and deflating on the out-breath.
Keep breathing,
Letting the breath be calming,
Nourishing and grounding for you.
Just check in with your posture to make sure it's still upright but relaxed.
And as you breathe,
Notice everything starting to slow down.
Mind and thoughts slowing down.
Heart rate breathing and cardiovascular system slowing down.
Nervous system slowing down.
Your whole exquisitely complex mind-body system settling and slowing down.
Also letting your muscles relax.
Notice if you're holding tension or tightness anywhere in your body and let those places soften and relax.
In the third stage we add supportive touch.
So placing your hand gently over your heart,
Using the same warm,
Friendly touch you would if a friend was struggling and you placed a hand on their shoulder.
Keep breathing.
And as you start to notice some warmth under your hand,
Allow yourself to connect with that hurt little boy or girl inside you.
They are the one who's feeling stressed or sad or upset,
Or whatever you're struggling with right now.
So imagining that the warmth under your hand is a lovely,
Warm,
Compassionate energy and sending that to the child inside you wherever they are.
You could also imagine that this warmth is a healing white light that you can beam from your hand to the child inside you.
See the beam of healing energy lighting up their face,
Lighting up their heart,
Lighting up every cell in their body until their whole being is glowing with this warm,
Healing,
Compassionate energy.
Finally,
In the fourth stage we add compassionate self-talk.
You can either think these words to yourself or say them out loud,
Whichever feels most comfortable for you.
Use a warm,
Friendly tone,
The way you'd speak to a child if they'd woken from a bad dream and needed calming and comforting.
Now talk to that child inside you and repeat after me,
Oh little one,
I know you're really struggling right now.
I can see how scared and upset you are.
And no wonder you're upset,
Life is really hard for you right now.
But I want you to know that you're not alone.
I'm here with you.
I care about you.
I've got you.
And I promise you that we'll get through this together.
Then take a few moments to notice whether that little boy or girl inside you has received all of these wonderful gifts.
The compassionate breathing,
Supportive touch,
Healing energy and compassionate self-talk.
If they have,
They might be a bit calmer,
A bit safer,
A bit looked after,
A little more relaxed.
And of course if they feel those things you do too.
So you might feel a little warmer inside.
Or some feelings of relaxation,
Opening or lightness in your body.
If you don't feel any of these things it's absolutely fine.
Just sit with the intention to be kind to yourself.
But if you do,
Even if the feelings are subtle,
Mindfully focus on them,
Enjoy them.
Let them soak into your body for a few seconds.
And then when you feel ready,
Just take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes.
Then take a few moments to notice whether that little boy or girl is there.
If you don't feel any of these things,
Just sit with the intention to be kind to yourself.
And then when you feel ready,
Just take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes.
Then see if you can carry these feelings of calm,
Relaxation and self-compassion into the rest of your day.
