I Am That Chapter16 Desirelessness, The Highest Bliss Part 3

I think when one stays there how it appears like it's like you're watching a movie muted that your understanding is heightened it's like you clearly it's like you are one of the senses it's like cut so that you have increased awareness and it's it's like there is a deeper understanding of everything when you just stay there and everything is you're seeing in a muted so-called world it's like that's where the experimentation happens or the direct experience happens you know the truth of this is this is how it functions I just sharing with everybody else like and you stay there just see like it's like sometimes people keep talking it's like the experience is that it's like it appears like it's a muted it's like you're watching and then the talk happens all by itself and that's when it's like oh this is the understanding of the reality of the truth yes beautiful what she means muted is not that you cannot hear the sounds of people talking yours are fine she doesn't mean that she's gone deaf yeah what she means by muted is that I recognize that I cannot do I the witness consciousness only witness whatever is happening I cannot do I cannot act I'm not the doer I'm not even experiencing this I'm simply witnessing whatever is happening like you witness an entire story in a film yeah the entire story you simply witness that's it like that you are at a distance good to understand that bliss is desirelessness and not the happiness not extreme happiness good to know and not getting the desire fulfilled it's it seems like death at times taking the example from Shalini share if I jump into the role of mother I feel like I suffer I'm so sad when children do not they do they don't listen at all and I feel like okay I am suffering so much because they don't understand and I don't understand what's going on but when I step back I see the mom is literally dying a mom in me is dying that's what I say always because the attachment excessive expectations and hopes that's really unreasonable yes that's what is cutting off and that is the death correct perfect perfect that is the death that is what is killing you your own desires are killing you what is my normal feeling I keep assuming myself to be this body mind and a thought that is closer to me I assume this as my thought in this role you might be the mother you might be the father you might be the brother the sister you might be the spouse or you yourself are the child the son or the daughter in this role you get stuck in these thoughts you believe these thoughts to be mine along comes Maharaj and Maharaj says no you are mistaken this is not you there is a quiet background behind notice that background there is a background behind and he actually defines this background for you till now that which was absolutely invisible suddenly becomes very tangible for you you recognize the sense of I am and you recognize that it's not that I'm limited to a particular body I'm not limited to a particular thought the sense of I am is actually my entire domain range of awareness this awareness is who I am this awareness seems limited it is limited by the binoculars that you're looking through have you actually look through a binocular yes you will only see a little area in that binocular you see it magnified and crystal clear as if it's right next to you if you're in a national park and you're watching some lions very far away you'll see them right here right in front of you very clear perfect but you'll only see that limited area when you put the binocular down you see that it's such a huge expanse of forest and meadow but through the binocular I see only a limited area like that only this awareness is limited by this binocular called the body-mind is this clear yeah so who am I am I really this binocular called body-mind Maharaj says no you are this field of awareness this entire field of awareness is who you are in you the field of awareness there arise certain people certain situations certain things you assume that they are separate from you only when you think you are the binocular called body-mind but when you see yourself as this yellow circle there is no yellow circle now please don't go looking for one now it's just a drawing when you recognize yourself as this instead of the body-mind then you see that the waking state is happening in me in me there is another person whatever the family member in me there is the house in me there is the river flowing outside my house in me all this is happening in my awareness in my field of consciousness everything appears during the waking state it plays for some time and it disappears similarly another dream world is manufactured in the sleeping dream it appears in me the consciousness and it disappears yes what happens in darkness of deep sleep there is all this has just disappeared there is no house there is no body there are no thoughts and there is no people no river nothing just this empty awareness my field of awareness is there this is the darkness of deep sleep the absence of these objects do you get it so I am the space in which everything appears and disappears I am this space I am NOT the body because this body only appears during the waking state do you get it it's not there in the dream state it's not there in deep sleep so I am NOT this body and it's accompanying thoughts that I presume to be mine this is the experiential recognition and now we are seeing this as a as a 2d picture on a paper yeah but it is three-dimensional like this seat completely all around in me there is the traffic sound of the passing vehicles in me is the sound of the kids playing downstairs in me is a faint sound of TV playing somewhere far away in me in me the field of awareness all this is happening is this very very clear is this experiential not just intellectual yeah when this becomes my experience then I do not restrict myself to this body-mind that's exactly how I see myself without the head but I'll still draw it yeah this is not who I am these thoughts are not who I am I am the space I am all over yes so when I take the stand as the witness I take the stand here I stay at the periphery I do not jump into this body mine and assume it to be mine I stay here you stay at the periphery what is ikcha what is desire the moment this I jumps in and says this is my thought this is desire is this clear yeah when I didn't jump to into this this is a thought this is a thought this is a thought but the moment I jump in and say this thought I like or I don't like this I want or I don't want this becomes my desire this is my desire yeah so you maintain your position here all the time it doesn't matter what the role of this body is this body can play its role it doesn't matter where the parent where the child whatever you maintain your stand here this is who I am this I is who I am is this very clear yes only here at this level will you actually recognize the Sarvocha Sukha the highest bliss yeah the moment you jump in because of ikcha because of desire then it is only downhill from there no happening would mean that means it is not my normal state do you get it I have to wait for a day for it to happen no this is ego buying time to remain as a witness that I have to overcome the script that is running then isn't it because yeah but that does not mean that the script will stop or it will change nothing is going to change Raghu is going to remain the body mind called Raghu is going to remain as it is the spouse is going to remain as she is the kids are going to remain as they are the parents the family the environment is going to remain the same the script does not change it is not a happening it is a simple recognition oh I am NOT this and this I just ignored it it's not something that will happen I've been constantly ignoring it that's it at the same time I think you know we also discussed that we can only know I the witness can only know right but I'm still you know when the script is running the script is going to play out and in that script I the body mind is going to do what what the script is you know written to correct yes yes yes right and in that instance I am the body mind I am NOT the body mind if I take a step back and recognize the body mind is functioning in its automaticity per the script you decide is it per the script or is it not per the script you are shuttling right now if it is per the script then the body mind is functioning automatically in that situation Raghu the father is talking very strongly and firmly with the kid the kid is not listening there is a serious drama playing here the father is playing the role of the father I am the witness consciousness in which these two images are playing is this your experiential recognition after the fact you know after the fact I recognize that what just no no point during the drama this recognition has to come the same in the same chapter ahead this person says that he has these difficulties you will identify with them then Maharaj says a very beautiful thing it's more beautiful in Marathi when he asked why is it that I don't get it why are the people get it are these paths different something along that line so Maharaj says no all paths are the same all will take you to the same destination there is only one way it's a one-way street the only difference is the earnestness of the seeker yeah earnestness is the word used in English in Marathi it is Tadmar it depends on that Tadmar the thirst the longing to recognize yourself the stronger the thirst the stronger the Tadmar inside the quicker you get there the weaker the Tadmar the more you are identifying as this body-mind personality and holding on to the dream you're holding on to it dearly yeah so only the Tadmar the earnestness the thirst the longing varies in people yeah so you check is it that the thirst is less in me am I not Antarmukhi enough yeah because there is no other way it's a one-way street or go we are all walking on that same path the same way yeah so if I'm still getting stuck in the drama why can't I recognize in the middle of this drama amidst that argument that I am simply witnessing I am NOT talking to the son because I'm not the father of the son the body and the mind that person is the father of that son not me I am simply witnessing this happen that is your next homework next argument you have to recognize I am the witness of this argument I am NOT the one arguing here yes it's simply a belief a simply a self-imposed idea that I am this body mind and this body mind has to become Buddha like you have this subtle thing in you that the body mind personality has to change no no I didn't say that you're not the body mind is what I am saying yeah you are the witness of the body mind called Raghu you recognize this again and again and especially in dramatic situations look at the English word the English is confusing you Bhogna Hindi word Bhogna and Sakshi now you can see the difference in the words directly Sakshi is the witness witness is not experiencing Bhogna means it's happening to me is the experiencer yeah the witness sees it is not happening to me it is happening but not to me the witness in court marriage sees the husband and wife sign the paper exchange garlands exchange rings they are married he is simply the witness of the marriage the marriage is not happening to me the marriage is happening the wedding is happening the wedding is not happening to me with me very clear yeah the witness is always at a distance yeah I witness everything happening in the field of consciousness in me the field of awareness but then why is this urge to jump again and again to the body-mind level I explained that the sense of lack there is this there are these self-imposed ideas no Maharaj says that getting liberated from the false the myth here the self-imposed idea that I have about myself my practicing of being the witness is just one or two years old my practice of being this body-mind personality is 20 30 40 50 years old so you see the competition two years versus 30 40 50 years of strong competition no yeah so it pulls me out because this belief is very strong in me this assumption is very strong in me so what is liberation this assumption gets wiped off erased completely it does not pull me out from my witnessing stand anymore it cannot it loses its power over me that is liberation liberation from Mithya is liberation because you don't see it as Mithya that is why you're attached to it you see the child as real my child you see the spouse as my spouse real you see money as real how many of you have this weak point weakness with money my money my house my car it is real see little bit something happens your suddenly bank account says your account is locked heart attack you get how is my account locked oh my god are you taking my money away you call this person call that person you all crazy that's the true test your account was locked because of a wrong password that's it nobody's taking your money away yeah but the whole drama created reveals your attachment to the money I'm just throwing out examples you see your in relation to your own self I do not see it I do not see it as Mithya still that's why I told you there are two parts to liberation or self realization Brahman Satyam and Jagat Mithya it's very easy to see Brahman Satyam first day first video you got it Drig Drishyam Viveka how many of you remember first day first step you got it it was a 10-minute meditation within 10 minutes you got it Brahman Satyam is very easy the hard part is Jagat Mithya how can I let that go my god my house my child my money my this my blah blah blah that is the difficult part very clear work on both Brahman Satyam and Jagat Mithya yeah so happening means it is going to happen it's not happening it is right now also I am the witness consciousness it doesn't have to happen in the future it is not an event that is going to happen on so-and-so date and no right now you are free he did that no today we did that on the contrary one is always free you are free right now you are both conscious and free to be conscious you are free to be conscious right now it's not going to happen in the future right now you are free nobody can take this away from you it was never away from you it is there right now yeah and that's why he asked the questions do you ever know yourself not existing or being unconscious no I have never known myself to be not there then who's saying I was not there mean something knows that I was not there who was not there something was there so not being there itself is a self-imposed idea it is a Mithya Mithya is not always just a physical body that attack you are attached to or money or house or things position name fame it is ideas in your mind concepts beliefs you have this idea that I have to be the witness no you are the witness you don't have an option you're just overlooking the truth that you are the witness you're falsely assuming to be the doer or experiencer this part is false you are the witness you get it you don't have to become the witness you don't have to recognize there is no remembrance also required just this false idea of I am the doer needs to drop this false idea of I am Shailaja the mother needs to drop I am Shailaja the whatever working professional that needs to drop I am so and so in society that needs to drop when all these self-imposed concepts and ideas drop finally I am a woman also drops this is very essential some of us have the beliefs very strong beliefs of I am a woman I have to behave this way or some have beliefs I am the man I have to behave this way do you recognize this you've never spoken about these things never ever discussed but you have these subtle beliefs within you that is the next to drop away I am the man or I am the woman and whatever belief you have a woman is supposed to walk and talk like this and behave like this a man is not supposed to cry no all these self-imposed ideas concepts beliefs yeah all these drop away all these drop away finally you are stripped of everything you're stripped of the person the idea of the person is stripped away then you come to the core oh I am none of all these things these were simply mithya illusory just a belief just like I had a belief in Santa Claus as a kid now I don't believe in Santa Claus anymore similarly I believed in all this I believed in being this body-mind person now I don't have this belief anymore do you get it it's only the beliefs ideas the self-impositions that drop away I have always been the witness so I don't have to try to be the witness anymore now go and change your journal to I have to let go of this self-imposed idea related to that point whatever that point is yeah you are free to be conscious you choose not to be he told you very clearly you are free to be conscious because that is my true nature no for example ekta wants to play a role in some play she goes on stage she dresses up as the Queen and then she wants to only be the Queen and then she gets offstage also she does not want to come back to the real ekta no she wants to be dressed up as the Queen with the crown on the head and says you have to treat me like the Queen at home no then then then there is mess you are offstage yeah the role is not you you are truly ekta like this people come and explain to her then she realizes oh I'm not this I'm not this beautiful gown and this crown and this great whatever kingdom of mine no no no all this is role play I am truly ekta so I have the freedom to be ekta when I was on stage also while playing the role I have the freedom to know I am ekta you get it I am free to be conscious is that statement very clear no yeah so he says you are consciousness and you are free to be conscious you have always been free till now all these whatever months years that I was practicing advaita I kept thinking I have to be the witness no now we come to a point where I recognize oh I was always the witness I have to stop pretending that I am this person if I told you in the beginning you're pretending you're fake you're not authentic you'd run away you would not listen to me for 15 chapters now that you have become very clear what Maharaj means by the fake person the fake personality the loss of authenticity and you understand all this now you are ready to see oh yeah I am the witness I'm not this person only yeah so now it has to reverse first it was I the person I'm trying to be the witness now it is I the witness I am trying to shed off the person yeah you see exact reverse and when the witness also drops it's the entire illusion yes yes those who are already higher know that yeah and the witness also drops and it's like oh there is no thing this it's not even I am nothingness there is no I there there is only nothingness but those of us who have not gotten there don't try to just jump this step work on this step become very clear happily renounce all self-imposed ideas all self-imposed conditionings all self-imposed concepts everything now make a special page for you know I'm going to like write down all the self-imposed ideas that I had about this person that I was holding on to you write it down and then strike through I'm done with this this is no more me this is no more me this is no more me become very clear so the mind does not confuse you again it has no more a chance to confuse you if it tries to confuse you you have the journal see I'm done with this I'm done with this and quickly quickly get done with the world it's mithya it's illusion there is no Santa Claus sorry